Therapist: What brings here today, Mr.—
Therapist: Right. What brings you here, Mr. Kologarn?
Kologarn: LAST WEEK, I FELT A TIGHTNESS IN MY CHEST. LIKE SOMETHING WAS SQUEEZING THE LIFE OUT OF ME. I HAD TO LIE DOWN. MY REGULAR DOCTOR SAYS NOTHING IS PHYSICALLY WRONG WITH ME.
Therapist: He thinks you might be suffering from panic attacks.
Kologarn: THAT GUY IS A JACKASS. I ONLY GO TO HIM BECAUSE HE IS IN-NETWORK.
Therapist: All the same, I think we should talk about what is going on in your life and maybe we can find a cause for your problems.
Therapist: Well. Why don’t you humor me? Tell me about your work. When you made the appointment, you told my assistant that you work as, uh, a raid boss in a chasm in Ulduar?
Kologarn: I STAND IN IT.
Therapist: Now I understand that your job is to defeat armies of adventurers who come to loot the ancient sanctum of the Old God Yogg Saron. What does that entail?
Kologarn: THE USUAL. OVERHEAD SMASH. FOCUSED EYEBEAMS. PETRIFYING BREATH. STONE GRIP. RINSE. REPEAT.
Therapist: And this fulfills you?
Therapist: You haven’t been satisfied with your career?
Kologarn: THINGS HAVE DRIED UP A LITTLE, LATELY.
Therapist: There haven’t been as many raiders, have there?
Kologarn: THEY NO LONGER COME.
Therapist: It hurts to feel abandoned.
Therapist: It’s okay for us to admit we hurt. There’s no shame in it.
Kologarn: ONLY A FLESH WOUND.
Therapist: Okay. And how are your relationships with co-workers?
Therapist: It’s difficult, isn’t it? Not having a hard mode?
Kologarn: NOBODY SAYS ANYTHING. BUT I KNOW WHAT THEY’RE ALL THINKING.
Therapist: And how do you feel when your peers treat you with condescension?
Therapist: This is a safe space. I promise you. I want you to feel you can trust me. What passes between us stays right here. That door is an inviolable barrier. None shall pass, Mr. Kologarn. None shall pass.
Therapist: Do you trust me?
Kologarn: I GUESS.
Therapist: So why have you come here today, Mr. Kologarn?
Therapist: It’s okay to talk about your feelings.
Therapist: I am ready to listen. I am prepared to hear you.
Kologarn: I AM VERY SAD.
Therapist: I’m proud of you, Mr. Kologarn. We’ve made a lot of progress today.