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  1. #1

    Northrend is a depressing place since the Cataclysm...

    Therapist: What brings here today, Mr.—

    Kologarn: KOLOGARN.

    Therapist: Right. What brings you here, Mr. Kologarn?

    Kologarn: LAST WEEK, I FELT A TIGHTNESS IN MY CHEST. LIKE SOMETHING WAS SQUEEZING THE LIFE OUT OF ME. I HAD TO LIE DOWN. MY REGULAR DOCTOR SAYS NOTHING IS PHYSICALLY WRONG WITH ME.

    Therapist: He thinks you might be suffering from panic attacks.

    Kologarn: THAT GUY IS A JACKASS. I ONLY GO TO HIM BECAUSE HE IS IN-NETWORK.

    Therapist: All the same, I think we should talk about what is going on in your life and maybe we can find a cause for your problems.

    Kologarn: UNNECESSARY.

    Therapist: Well. Why don’t you humor me? Tell me about your work. When you made the appointment, you told my assistant that you work as, uh, a raid boss in a chasm in Ulduar?

    Kologarn: I STAND IN IT.

    Therapist: Now I understand that your job is to defeat armies of adventurers who come to loot the ancient sanctum of the Old God Yogg Saron. What does that entail?

    Kologarn: THE USUAL. OVERHEAD SMASH. FOCUSED EYEBEAMS. PETRIFYING BREATH. STONE GRIP. RINSE. REPEAT.

    Therapist: And this fulfills you?

    Kologarn: …

    Therapist: You haven’t been satisfied with your career?

    Kologarn: THINGS HAVE DRIED UP A LITTLE, LATELY.

    Therapist: There haven’t been as many raiders, have there?

    Kologarn: THEY NO LONGER COME.

    Therapist: It hurts to feel abandoned.

    Kologarn: …

    Therapist: It’s okay for us to admit we hurt. There’s no shame in it.

    Kologarn: ONLY A FLESH WOUND.

    Therapist: Okay. And how are your relationships with co-workers?

    Kologarn: …

    Therapist: It’s difficult, isn’t it? Not having a hard mode?

    Kologarn: NOBODY SAYS ANYTHING. BUT I KNOW WHAT THEY’RE ALL THINKING.

    Therapist: And how do you feel when your peers treat you with condescension?

    Kologarn: …

    Therapist: This is a safe space. I promise you. I want you to feel you can trust me. What passes between us stays right here. That door is an inviolable barrier. None shall pass, Mr. Kologarn. None shall pass.

    Kologarn: …

    Therapist: Do you trust me?

    Kologarn: I GUESS.

    Therapist: So why have you come here today, Mr. Kologarn?

    Kologarn: …

    Therapist: It’s okay to talk about your feelings.

    Kologarn: …

    Therapist: I am ready to listen. I am prepared to hear you.

    Kologarn: ...

    Therapist: …

    Kologarn: I AM VERY SAD.

    Therapist: I’m proud of you, Mr. Kologarn. We’ve made a lot of progress today.
    Author of DON'T EVER GET OLD , Nominated for the Edgar, Anthony and Thriller awards for Best First Novel.
    My Blog: http://danieljfriedman.blogspot.com
    My Warcraft/Gaming Blog: http://biggerthankologarn.blogspot.com
    My Twitter: http://twitter.com/DanFriedman81

  2. #2
    Now that was a fun read

  3. #3
    Brewmaster RBFxJMH's Avatar
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    I feel worse for the bosses in Kara that aren't mandatory for progress towards Prince

  4. #4
    I AM VERY SAD.

    Ah that was funny.

  5. #5
    Awesome. XD
    "You hurt me long ago; my wounds bled for years. Now you are back, but I am not the same."

  6. #6

  7. #7
    Therapist: It’s difficult, isn’t it? Not having a hard mode?

    Kologarn: NOBODY SAYS ANYTHING. BUT I KNOW WHAT THEY’RE ALL THINKING.
    I laughed. Good read.
    Quote Originally Posted by LaplaceNoMa View Post
    I've got a question to 'human right defenders' - why do we persecute pedophiles again? Why is viewing children sexually is wrong while viewing a person of your own sex sexually isn't wrong?
    Everything wrong with the Reddit/gamer subculture in one handy quote.
    If he had brought up the Men's Rights Movement it would have been perfect.

  8. #8
    Mechagnome Kinderwurst's Avatar
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    I'd be sad too if my whole purpose in life is to one day be a bridge.

  9. #9
    Poor Kologarn!
    Ornasse Evershade, Sage of the Seven Pines | Lord Uldred Harrowmont, Thrice-Damned
    http://dancinghare.wordpress.com ~ Art, stories and musings. | My Pet Collection

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Kinderwurst View Post
    I'd be sad too if my whole purpose in life is to one day be a bridge.
    Dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
    Author of DON'T EVER GET OLD , Nominated for the Edgar, Anthony and Thriller awards for Best First Novel.
    My Blog: http://danieljfriedman.blogspot.com
    My Warcraft/Gaming Blog: http://biggerthankologarn.blogspot.com
    My Twitter: http://twitter.com/DanFriedman81

  11. #11
    I came here expecting something different... But this is another Kologarn WIN.

  12. #12
    anyone else read "The Rapist" at the first look?

  13. #13

    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by Crawford View Post
    Therapist: It’s okay for us to admit we hurt. There’s no shame in it.

    Kologarn: ONLY A FLESH WOUND.

    Therapist: Okay. And how are your relationships with co-workers?

    Kologarn: …

    Therapist: It’s difficult, isn’t it? Not having a hard mode?

    Kologarn: NOBODY SAYS ANYTHING. BUT I KNOW WHAT THEY’RE ALL THINKING.

    [...]

    Kologarn: I AM VERY SAD.

    Therapist: I’m proud of you, Mr. Kologarn. We’ve made a lot of progress today.
    Ah, great laugh. Thank you for that.

  14. #14
    Don't worry, Kologarn! Noobs will still come to try and get drakes!

  15. #15

  16. #16
    so much win.
    Quote Originally Posted by Pok
    CC of WOTLK era=kill it faster. Why turn it into a sheep when you can turn it into a corpse.

  17. #17
    Mechagnome Kinderwurst's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crawford View Post
    Dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
    I'm fine with being dust eventually, at least I wouldn't be walked over by my murderers.

  18. #18
    Hahaha, win!
    Quote Originally Posted by GenghisBob View Post
    You headbutt your weapon to determine how sharp it is don't'cha?!

  19. #19
    I dont see why he would be so sad, he defies the laws of science for cryin out loud.

    The chasm wer he stands barly fits him but SOMEHOW he is able to completly bend his body downward to hide himself. That has to take skill.

    And hell atleast he isnt optional, he even makes a referance that people can relate to.
    I AM the world's first Shadow Mage.

  20. #20
    Warchief Sarcasm's Avatar
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    Therapist: Tell me Kologarn, where do you see yourself in 10 years time?
    Kologarn: OBLIVION!
    Quote Originally Posted by BattlemasterSkarab View Post
    GOD's ARMAGEDDON and DOOM'S DAY!!!!!!.... Imagine that...
    4 apocalyptic horsemen
    Sky turned red
    Sun turned black
    All WoW servers down

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