Bio: Nok'ranosh Heartfury [SRP]

[Umbra]

Name: Nok'ranosh Heartfury
Age: Reached thirty-three prior to his death and resurrection.
Race: Orc
Gender: Male
Class: Death knight
Personality: Nok'ranosh is head-strong and hot-blooded, but a good leader of others similar to himself. He can control the pack, so to speak.
Likes/Dislikes: Prior to his resurrection, Nok'ranosh hated the humans of Lordaeron with a passion; now, he feels nothing but disgust for all living creatures. The Forsaken, on the other hand, have interested him lately, with them being similar to himself.
Appearance: The Scourge's corruption has made visible marks on Nok'ranosh's appearance, the right side of his face being completely decayed. Part of his cranium – including the empty right eyesocket – is visible. His skin is a grayish green, and because of his runeblade his remaining eye glows a faint blue.
Strengths/Weaknesses: Nok'ranosh's strength was well known among his brethren, and was recognized during his service as a death knight. He himself considers his resolve his greatest ability; once he has started a task, he will go to hell and back to finish it. Much like his race once was, Nok'ranosh hungers for battle and will eagerly enter combat if he can find it. He is careless in combat, believing that his blood can undo any damage he receives.

History: Nok'ranosh was one of the few orcs that betrayed Thrall, and did not cross the ocean to Kalimdor. Instead, he and a few others chose to remain in Lordaeron, and built themselves a home in the Tirisfal Glades not far from the Solliden farmstead. With Nok'ranosh as their self-proclaimed and unquestioned leader, they dubbed this residence of theirs ”Nok'ranor” and from it they organized several successful attacks on both Solliden and the nearby mills owned by the Agamand family.

When the Plague struck, things changed. One by one, Nok'ranosh and his followers were forced to kill their comrades as they were overwhelmed by ghouls and the like – horrifying creatures Nok'ranosh had never seen before. In the end, only Nok'ranosh remained standing, with his brethren and over three dozen ghouls dead around them. He remained in Nok'ranor for a passage of time unknown to him, eating only what little they had managed to pillage from the farms nearby. This would lead to his demise. Unbeknownst to him, the bread he devoured was infected with the same disease that had created the attacking ghouls; the Plague of Undeath. As the disease grabbed hold of him, he could feel his body deteriorate and his mind rot. He was struck with the thought that he would end his days as one of the mindless that had attacked them. He crawled up inside one of their huts and waited for an inevitable, painful death.

Or so he thought. A death knight of the Scourge, whose name until this day is still unknown to Nok'ranosh, came to Nok'ranor. The orc, having all of his senses practically taken away, did not notice his visitor until it stood right behind him. ”You slayed these, orc? A warrior of your capability... the Lich King could have use of you.” The death knight brought Nok'ranosh to Naxxramas, where he was resurrected as one of their kind.

Like the Forsaken and Sylvanas, Nok'ranosh regained control of himself when the Lich King was weakened. He fought his way out of Naxxramas' military quarter, and used the necropolis' teleportation magic to leave Naxxramas and enter the Plaguewood. The escape had exhausted him greatly and he was barely able to move. Slowly, his memories returned to him, and he was able to use his hiding skills to avoid being spotted by the Scourge. Slowly, he traveled westward, to - as he had heard - the claimed capital of Lordaeron by others like himself.

In Tirisfal, Nok'ranosh met the first survivor of his kin; an orc from the new homeland across the sea, Durotar. The orc, however, did not greet Nok'ranosh with open arms. Instead he screamed in disgust and began to attack him. Nok'ranosh, at first unable to act at this sudden outburst, fled off in the distance, now filled with a hatred for his own kin. He now lives in Nok'ranor, seeking whatever battle he can find.

[Selyn Shadowstorm]

You said that he would happily enter battle any time that it was available yet he ran away from the other orc?

[Umbra]

You said that he would happily enter battle any time that it was available yet he ran away from the other orc?

The current Nok'ranosh wants to fight. The Nok'ranosh of that time was on the run from the Scourge, had recently regained control of his own mind and was attacked by a member of his own kin. Consider it shock, if anything.

[The Madgod]

Well first off, I edited your post so it was slightly more reader friendly (bolded the name, age, race, etc, as well as make the history another space away from the rest of the criteria)

Second, the orcs Thrall lead were unquestioningly loyal. Thrall did the impossible, by curing their souls of the stink that the demon blood left, and leading them to freedom. Any orc who didn't follow Thrall was not found in those camps. Like, for example, the Dark Horde in Blackrock, or the Dragonmaw in the Wetlands. If your group of orcs was not from either faction, and lived in Lordaeron, perhaps they were banished during the second war, and Thrall never found them in his quest to free the orcs.

Second, the Plague of Undeath is spread via ingesting it, at this phase of the infection. As well, once the Plague took effect, the infected person died, and was returned as a mindless zombie. There was no sentient thought from the zombie, nor was there any immortality from the illness. It was meant to kill, then turn.

I should also add.. a fall from Naxxramas, while it was in the Eastern Plaguelands essentially meant that one's bones would be reduced to splinters. There's no recovery from that. Back when Naxxramas was in the Eastern Plaguelands, though, there WAS a teleportation circle on the ground which connected it to Naxxramas. Have him use that instead, for this to be more plausible. There's also a LOT of undead there (both in the necropolis, and on the ground), so if Kel'Thuzad knew of this betrayal, then he'd probably send them all after him. If he can fight through those, then by the time he gets to Tirisfal, he would be exhausted.

Other than those three things, the rest of the bio looks pretty good.

[Umbra]

Well first off, I edited your post so it was slightly more reader friendly (bolded the name, age, race, etc, as well as make the history another space away from the rest of the criteria)

Thank you.

Second, the orcs Thrall lead were unquestioningly loyal. Thrall did the impossible, by curing their souls of the stink that the demon blood left, and leading them to freedom. Any orc who didn't follow Thrall was not found in those camps. Like, for example, the Dark Horde in Blackrock, or the Dragonmaw in the Wetlands. If your group of orcs was not from either faction, and lived in Lordaeron, perhaps they were banished during the second war, and Thrall never found them in his quest to free the orcs.

This character exists under the pretense that your first statement doesn't apply to all orcs. It's not a matter of being disloyal; it is simply not agreeing with Thrall in thinking that Kalimdor is their race's new homeland.

Second, the Plague of Undeath is spread via ingesting it, at this phase of the infection. As well, once the Plague took effect, the infected person died, and was returned as a mindless zombie. There was no sentient thought from the zombie, nor was there any immortality from the illness. It was meant to kill, then turn.

Consider it a slow death from the plague, then; partial resistance from his alien body. We know from Stratholme that the Plague doesn't kill immediately upon infection.

As for the ingestion, I will add that.

I should also add.. a fall from Naxxramas, while it was in the Eastern Plaguelands essentially meant that one's bones would be reduced to splinters. There's no recovery from that. Back when Naxxramas was in the Eastern Plaguelands, though, there WAS a teleportation circle on the ground which connected it to Naxxramas. Have him use that instead, for this to be more plausible. There's also a LOT of undead there (both in the necropolis, and on the ground), so if Kel'Thuzad knew of this betrayal, then he'd probably send them all after him. If he can fight through those, then by the time he gets to Tirisfal, he would be exhausted.

I knew that part would seem a bit unrealistic. Will edit this as well. Addressing the second point: Kel'thuzad was at the time dealing with Sylvanas and the rest of the Forsaken uprising; he has other things to deal with than one renegade death knight. Unless you have further arguments, I believe that point makes sense.

Other than those three things, the rest of the bio looks pretty good.

Thanks again.

Points addressed above; edits will come shortly.

EDIT: Done.

[The Madgod]

By the basis of orcish honor, if someone saves your life, you're going to respect that person greatly, and you will follow them in the chance that you can return the favor. If Thrall said "let's stay here, and we'll fight whatever comes at us", then the orcs would have stayed in Lordaeron. He even, if for only a short while, stopped the orcs from fighting with the humans, their mortal enemies. Hell, he even had the orcs work together with them. He's also the warchief. If a person didn't agree with him and didn't follow his orders, that's treason. An orc would follow their leader, especially if they're indebted to him/her, regardless of their personal opinion in the matter.

The death would be slow, regardless if he was alien or not. From what I can see, the Plague is universal. Different strains could have different effects, but the Plague affects all.

I had forgotten that Kel'Thuzad was away from Naxxramas when the Lich King was begining to grow weak. Still, Kel'Thuzad was the master of Naxxramas prior to that. He would have left someone in charge, who would have done exactly what I said Kelly would have.

Also! You should add the fact that Nok'ranosh ran from his kin because of shock, like you said above. If someone asks a question about something in a bio, then there's no answer of it in the bio. Any writer knows exactly why something happens in their story, but if they don't say exactly what happens and why, then the reader has no idea.

[Umbra]

Fine, I will consider it treason.

I don't think anyone in charge of anything would actually say: "Look, one of our troops defected, let's send our entire army after him just to teach him a lesson! And kill him!" and then go through with it. I can understand - and even assume - that they will send some, just as they battle the Forsaken, but far from all of Naxxramas' and the rest of the Scourge's forces.

I wishfully think that I practice a writing style known as Show, Don't Tell. Instead of saying things such as "He was shocked", I will make my character do something that shows his shock, such as a battle-hardened warrior running away from combat and having a more-or-less switch of personality.

[The Madgod]

Mkay, then. So he and his compatriots are banished because of disloyalty of the warchief.

I do agree though, that "all" might be a bit too much. Definately a good bit though (perhaps in in-game standards... two to three pulls of death knights?)

EDIT: and do whatever you need to do to show that he was shocked. You can use your style, or any other; there's many ways to convey emotion through text

[Umbra]

Mkay, then. So he and his compatriots are banished because of disloyalty of the warchief.

Exactly.

I do agree though, that "all" might be a bit too much. Definately a good bit though (perhaps in in-game standards... two to three pulls of death knights?)

Sounds alright to me. Could make for good plot elements further down the line.

EDIT: and do whatever you need to do to show that he was shocked. You can use your style, or any other; there's many ways to convey emotion through text

I added a few words to put more emphasis on that. Better?

Replies above.

[The Madgod]

I can see some shock from his actions when he finds the other orc, good.

Also (I just noticed this), to have a settlement named after him, he must be very prideful. Perhaps you should add that into his personality.

[Umbra]

Also (I just noticed this), to have a settlement named after him, he must be very prideful. Perhaps you should add that into his personality.

It isn't really a settlement; more of a camp. He more or less the became the leader by himself; the others followed him because he was a better warrior. Similar to how the Orcs in Cataclysm respect Garrosh, I realize now.

[The Madgod]

It's still somewhat prideful, in my opinion, to name a camp after one's self. I wouldn't expect a camp to really have a name that honors someone. A country, or a city, yeah, but not a camp.

[Umbra]

It's still somewhat prideful, in my opinion, to name a camp after one's self. I wouldn't expect a camp to really have a name that honors someone. A country, or a city, yeah, but not a camp.

The reason it even has a name is because they needed something to call it, not necessarily a matter of pride. They could have gone with "the camp", but instead they chose to honor - however little - their leader who had organized several successful raids against the human settlements. Consider the other defecting orcs to be like Nok'ranosh but less administrative; he was able to guide them. Lead the pack, as quoted from the "personality" section.

[The Madgod]

Fair enough. If the subordinates named the camp such, I cannot really say that he's as prideful as he would if he did the naming.

Well, looks good, I'm approving your application.

[Umbra]

Thanks.

So, just to check if I've got this right; now I try to find an SRP that I like, and then just join it?

[The Madgod]

Yes, or you can make one.

However, if it's a closed or private RP, you gotta ask the OP if you can get in.