Ex-Guild Frustrations

[SadisticChipmunk]

I am not sure if I am looking for advice, or justification or what... its just something I need to get off my chest and I know some of you have probably experienced something similar in the past and can give some insight... I considered everyone spoken about below a friend... I accepted their faults and ignored/defended them every chance I got... up until last night.

I was recently the co-GM of a guild that had been on a server since the servers creation. For years I was an officer in this guild, and a raid leader... and when the GM decided to bail, I was the one that picked up the pieces and reformed the guild and pushed on several times more successful than the last GM. After a while, we experienced a drop in raid attendance by the more geared people and raiding slowed down. My co-GM began talks with another raiding guild about a merger, we had some test raids and things went smooth and very well... we worked together nicely and had a lot of fun.

A couple months after the merger, we started having drama issues. Members of the previously older guild started bringing things to myself and the GM, like one of the new officers from the merged guild, and their partner would cause problems at night. They would drink heavily almost every night and would be very different people, causing drama and such. Our first instinct was to kick them, however there had never been a true integration of the guilds, and the "merged guild" was still fully behind this officer (which happened to be the GM of the merged guild prior). So we knew if we punished these people, or even kicked them out, the guild would split and we would be back at square one... So we did our best to keep things civil and stop the problems without drastic measures.

Our guild was a "Casual Raiding Guild"... We had a handful of quality players, and then the rest were mediocre or just plain bad. (6.5k DPS out of an ArP capped Warrior on 25 Blood-Queen AFTER being bit, for example). We progressed very slowly due to this... Now I myself was an EverQuest player... 1998 to 2008... I raided some of the top tiers of content on that as a Raid Leader and strategist... I also played WoW at the same time since release, and raided Sunwell pre-3.0... My time invested in MMOs at the top tier of raiding caused me a lot of headaches in RL... including almost flunking out of college. I shed that life for a slower paced one, so the guilds slow progression wasn't a huge issue... but the drama always seemed to be a low lying problem...

Fast forward to recently... Drama... yet again stirred up... The same people at fault. This time were getting reports, including my co-GM witnessing these players... again drunk... explaining how they are going to leave the guild and take half of the guild with them, etc etc... (which is true, that guild-disconnect was still there, and was proven). We werent even fielding raids any longer, our 25man Raids could not kill Blood-queen, there werent enough quality players to bite, and if a bad player got bit... it was almost a sure Mind Control. Pact of the Darkfallen would kill several people an attempt. 10man Lich King was the same problems... Defile would kill us, always stemming from 1 or 2 people. These people also got in on EVERY run due to either guilt trips, being an officer, or loyalty by the others in the group. The last night we attempted to put a 25man together, 20 people logged on... We ended the night with a guild meeting, and I went to bed.

I wake up the next morning, log onto WoW before work to check an auction... the guild has half its members in it... And I come to find out that my co-GM left the guild. This caused the entire Faction of the "merged guild" to leave (and took everything of value out of the GBank mind you), despite the fact they hated the co-GM. The guilds ended up splitting into 2 factions... and I was left alone. I ended up joining a guild made up of alts of a friend of mine... who raid leads pugs for LK kills frequently. And last night I finally got my lich king kill... This is where the drama starts again. I start getting whispers, from the merged guild members... including 2 of the people that caused the most drama. They were guilt tripping me over the demise of the previous guild, and the fact that they were hurt that I got the Kingslayer title. These are people who left me high and dry without a single word, and are trying to make me feel bad about it. The Officer (ex GM of Merged guild) actually was spamming Tradechat about how "people are only out for themselves and will use you blah blah blah" after this as well...

I know this was extremely long... And completely unimportant to most of the readers on MMO-Champ... I guess my question is... Despite the fact that I busted my ass for that guild. Despite the fact I was the one that went to bat defending those people, they shit on me... and despite the fact that I was the one left alone to figure out what to do, I'm the bad guy? And the worst part is, its actually getting to me... I was recently diagnosed with Hypertension caused by stress, and ultimately being out of this situation is healthy for me. I know I did nothing wrong, yet I'm letting this shit get to me.

[trunkrollah]

What's the question?

[Odexy]

/Hug OP. Guilds are in a bad place in general right now. I can tell you that both top horde guilds on my server have dissolved and it's a wonder my previous guild is still intact. The guild leader's patience is wearing thin and he's just not the fun guy he used to be, people just don't show up for our raids anymore which makes us run short. (We've had to 21 man up to Sindy, but failed there.) They still don't have a 25m LK kill and I doubt there ever will be one because all of our best players have left, either for personal issues or better guilds. The guild leader also doesn't ave a very in depth understanding of many classes and has promoted a mage using haste/spirit gems as class officer. (That made me so mad.) He even keeps giving chances to a kitty druid who pulls less dps than the tanks.

Overall there's also many hidden personal issues. Though it hasn't been stated, I'm almost certain the guild leader has a grudge on my boyfriend since he took a break a few months ago/I left. My reason for thinking this is because he hasn't received a single piece of gear since returning despite showing up for raids. In fact, a heroic trinket he wanted was first given to someone of the same class, even though that person only played DPS as an offspec.

Anyways, I'd like to further this discussion with you, but I have to go to work. To summarize the point I'm trying to make, I'll just tell you that I understand how you feel.

[therealpeni]

if u can explain it here, you can on your own realm dude, stand up for your own beliefs, which seem to be right.

[Timberwolfe]

Ass holes dont like to see some one succeed when they have deliberatly attempted to sabotage said success.

Fuck them. /ignore is a wonderfull command.

[AverageJoe42]

*Wall of Text crits you for 9001.
*You die.

But really, change your character's name. Tell the people that matter to you that you did it, and when the drama queens QQ, pretend you don't know who or what the fuck they're talking about.

[Deleted]

I am human, I play a lot of races in WoW but I am not an freakin' undead or an orc ... So I read everything that you wrote, don't worry about the troll dudes, they have the right to do it, so why not

My advice to you is to ignore those people and play with your friend in his guild. They left you for no reason and now that you proved how good you are they started insulting you in the trade channel? Leave them alone and play your game. He is something that keeps me playing despite of some people ... "You are paying for your account, not they. You can do with it whatever you want, they can't tell you who you are or what you are, you are a human being and not an orc/undead/gnome ...."

Sorry for the bad english. Keep on playing with your friends and the people you like in WoW because that's the real fun!

[Deleted]

This wall of text is not so big I mean I seen bigger.If you are going for the art of writing thick, compact walls of text, at least do your best and make it 20 cm long

[Jodah]

Speaking as someone who has gone through similar my experience has told me its best to stop the drama early even if it leads to tougher times for the guild. Its almost impossible to truly cure any major drama in a game like WoW. You may treat it for a time but it always comes back, usually worse. I know this doesn't help you much right now but it may in the future.

[Toby John Kenobi]

Chin up, straight back and walk away tall, from the ppl who tried to tear you down.
Never loose faith in your own way of playing the game, and never let yourself be run-over by barkers

/brofist to OP

And on a sidenote: Timberwolfe is correct... /ignore is a pretty decent command

[Deleted]

I can completely understand your pain in that situation.

I was an officer in a guild for a long time and because I was the only one who actually did something, I also got all of the complaints. I tried to do my best but then someone else f*ed up and messed around and I was the one to blame. Of course I'm not perfect so I did do some things wrong, too, but because no one would say anything even if I asked what they thought about this or that... Yeah, I just had to decide, plan new things and lead raids at the same time. We also had our share of the 'drama', lots and lots of drama... And oh, by the way, it was a Finnish guild so when someone left, it was quite hard to get a replacement.

Eventually I got stressed and tired. I needed to go to school, come home to lead the raids, organize some guild stuff, do homework and then go to bed. And repeat that pretty much every day. When the members of the guild started to slack during the previous summer, take a break before Cataclysm and migrate to other servers to different Finnish guilds, I decided that it was time for a change. I migrated, too, made a faction change to horde side and now I'm just an ordinary member in a Finnish raiding guild.

It was very, very hard to get used to this new situation where I wasn't the one who needed to do everything... I can just log on to raids, do my job in the raid and then play a bit if I feel like it and I have time to do other things, too. I enjoy organizing stuff, though, so I think I might get back to doing some guild stuff again, to some extent. This time I just need to watch out for taking too much responsibility. Actually I'm already the webmaster of the new guild but nothing more so far. (:

I guess I'm trying to say that people have different styles of enjoying the game but when it starts to feel like you're doing a full-time job, it might be the time to take some time off. And oh, about those complainers and whiners: most of them don't understand how hard an officers' (or a GM's) job is. Guild leaders easily get lots of s*t on them but when does someone actually thank them for doing their job well? Ah, maybe the time when no one complains should be considered a 'thank you'.

[Bobzor]

So you had an experience with people on the internet, how nice.

[Haxdelesriot]

Dude its just a game :[ if you really get that stressed over a bunch of mindless D-bags then you should really take a break for a few weeks/months. As insignificant as stress sounds, it is a serious medical problem that can be deadly when you put yourself in a high-stress environment. For you it would appear that WoW is infact a high-stress environment at the moment.

[CrusaderNerò87]

Wow that really sucks mate.. You sound like a really devoted and skilled player. Also, you stuck with your guild doing your best(even more than that) and I salute that. To have a player like you in a guild, would be pure awesomeness!

I understand your frustrations, I would feel the same if this happend to me. I recommend you move on and try to forget them. From what I read, it seems those people could be real assholes at times and thats not good over a longer period of time. Stay with your good friends and play with them - atleast for now. As you said, you got your LK kill so next step is getting ready for cata Have fun with your friends, enjoy whats coming in the future

[Disastrophe]

I agree that you should place your RL friends in priority. Take it easy for a while and enjoy the game with him. Never know what kind of opportunities that will open up for you.

As far as letting things get to you, just know you have people here in this community that understand and care too. It's a bad situation, but you're not alone. So cheer up pal.

[Deleted]

If i were you i wouldn't be bothered by any of this,its happening in an online game,you dont even know these people for real. I'd give you this advice: stop treating the game like a second life,start playing it for your own enjoyment and fun (which is what games were originally designed for anyhow). I'm sorry to hear it has affected you this much but just sit back,take a deep breath,relax and think to yourself "is worrying about some random people i never met and probably never will meet for real in a petty mmo really worth all this stress in real life"?
You seem to have a good time in your current guild,the people that pulled this nasty trick on you are just jealous because despite their effords to ruin someone elses playing time,said person turned out to have more fun than they and be more successful to boot.

[alvian]

Well ... let me be the one that is gonna say "It is just a game!"

No one is forcing you into all this crap!

I understand you might like the sense of accomplishment when playing with your guildies downing raid bosses etc. The need to be in an active (online) community doing something interesting together. Even bragging about being better than people you play with to raise your self-esteem. It is all OK! No offense meant at all!

And still it is Just a Game... It can be stressful when you know most of the other people in the guild rely on you. It is the worst when you understand your efforts are not appreciated. And it is just a game! You mentioned you almost dropped college due to MMORPG and that can't be good. I think your priorities in life have been some what ... well wrong.

Still I feel you, I can fully understand your position! But hey - cheer up. Just consider it that way: "There is nothing worse that could happen to you in a MMORPG" and expect only the best in the future.

[Deleted]

What's the question?

I wouldn't worry about it. If the split guild got their Kingslayer before you, you would have been the guy that held them back.

Swings and Roundabouts.

[llDemonll]

tl;dr, but if you get crap from people just ignore it. i dish out crap all the time and the biggest annoyance and the thing that pisses me off most is when people ignore it and brush it off. dont even respond to anything they say, because if you respond, in any way, we win. brush it off, shrug your shoulder, and go on without them

[SadisticChipmunk]

Thanks all. You have actually made me feel quite a deal better. To clarify a point, my stress is caused by work but was compounded by the WoW environment I was in. Every word spoken by every single one of you has been true and means a lot.

Again thank you.