A Sad Day in Theramore

[Breccia]

Thrall: Knock, knock, anyone home?
Jaina: Thrally!
Thrall: I was in the neighborhood...
Jaina: Aww, did you come all this way just to see me?
Thrall: Ok, yes, you got me.
Jaina:That's so sweet! I mean, I know it's not easy for you to run through Alliance territory--
Loud Voice from Outside: Dustwallow is NOT Alliance! It's a contested zone!
Jaina:...you brought Garrosh Hellscream?
Thrall: Yeah, he's my ride.
Jaina: But...
Garrosh: I think that's all the Theramore guards. I'll work on their shopkeepers and profession trainers while you two are talking.
Thrall: Hey! We talked about this already! Just...stand outside or something.
Garrosh: Fine.
Jaina: Um...what's going on?
Thrall: Yeah...we need to talk.
Jaina: OK...
Thrall: It's kind of important.
Jaina: Uh huh...
Thrall: Jaina, honey...I gotta go.
Jaina: Go?
Thrall: And I don't think the long-distance thing is gonna work out.
Jaina: Wait, go where?
Thrall: It's--
Jaina: Because I'm a mage, you know? Like, a REALLY good one. I can make a portal to anywhere. Whenever! See look--
Thrall: No, I believe you--
Jaina: There, see?
Sartharion: WHAT THE...WHO KEEPS OPENING THOSE?
Thrall: Yes, dear, I know.
Sartharion: I SMELL SWAMP WATER. IS THAT YOU, ONYXIA? I TOLD YOU, I DON'T DATE LEVEL 60 RAID BOSSES.
Thrall: Onyxia's 80 now! Jeez.
Sartharion: OH REALLY? MAN I SHOULD LOOK HER UP.
Thrall: Anyhow, I'm needed in the elemental planes. All of them. I'll be moving around a lot for a while.
Jaina: (sniff) The elemental planes?
Thrall: Yeah, it's a shaman thing. And they're not really big on, um, "unnatural" magic in there. No offense.
Jaina: But if we (sniff) work together...
Thrall: It's just not going to work out. I'm sorry, baby.
Jaina: But (snort) you said that (snorglrt) we could (sno-sno-snort)
Thrall: Ok I can't understand you anymore.
Jaina: Y-y-you said (snorglrlgrlrt)
Thrall: Here, blow hard.
**KABOOOOOM**
Thrall: Ow! Arcane explosion? Damn, woman!
Garrosh: My warchief! Has she--
Thrall: No, we're ok, aren't we?
Jaina: (sniff) (sniff) (sniff) uh-huh...(sniff)
Thrall: Seriously, just wait outside.
Garrosh: Whatever.
Jaina: ...so...(sniff)...you're saying...(sniff)...it's over?
Thrall: I'm really sorry, honey. But I have to go save the multiverse. They need me in there.
Jaina: But (sniff) you can't hearth on the weekends? Or send (sniff) letters or something?
Thrall: It's not like this is a vacation. I don't want to go, baby, you know that. But I have to save the world.
Jaina: But (sniff)
Thrall: And that means humans, too, remember?
Jaina: But (sniff) we were talking about children. Re(sniff)remember?
Thrall: Yes, I remember. We looked it up. There's only been like one half-orc in the history of ever. What was her name?
Jaina: Ga(sniff)Garona Halforcen.
Thrall: And what did she do?
Jaina: She (sniff) she killed King Wrynn.
Thrall: She killed King Wyrnn. Yes.
Jaina: Is this because of that one time I soloed the Lich King and brought him down to like 80%? Because I'm sure you could--
Thrall: No, this isn't about your ex.
Jaina: Is this because I'm like two feet taller than you?
Thrall: Actually I'm a big fan of that, really.
Jaina: Is it--
Thrall: Come on, earthquakes? Elemental rifts? Seas of lava, armies of cultists, Twilight Saga posters everywhere?
Jaina: Twilight HAMMER.
Thrall: Whatever. Anyhow you know this is serious. You know I have to do this.
Jaina: But--
Thrall: And I need YOU here, in the physical world of Azeroth. You're the most powerful mage I've ever met, and I need you ready in case I fail. Nobody else is strong enough.
Jaina: Um...ok...
Thrall: AND I need your calm mind keeping some amount of peace between Horde and Alliance, in case--
Garrosh: Get away from me, you dwarf runt! Do I look like a questgiver to you?
Thrall: Well, something like that, for example.
Garrosh: You want a quest? How about a fetch quest? Go fetch my axe! (distant yelp) It's over there, stuck in your flight master.
Jaina: You...(sniff) you really need this?
Thrall: I do. WE do. This is for the good of the whole world. You know I wouldn't leave you for anything less, right?
Jaina: (sniff) well...
Thrall: Come on, you know I love you. You know that.
Sartharion: IF YOU TWO ARE GOING TO GET MUSHY, CLOSE THAT DAMN PORTAL FIRST. I'M DRY-HEAVING ALREADY.
Jaina: Fine.
Sartharion: THAT'S BET*pop*
Jaina: But now what am I going to do? I can't date anyone in the Alliance anymore. I'm blacklisted after our time together.
Thrall: Well, there's lots of Horde men. How about Lor'themar Theron? He's pretty.
Jaina: Oh, please, like HE dates women.
Thrall: Vol'jin's a good guy.
Jaina: I heard he was seeing that tiger lady.
Thrall: Oh right. Sylvanus?
Jaina: HAH. In whose dreams, mister?
Thrall: What about Cairne?
Jaina: Isn't he like four hundred?
Thrall: Hmm, yeah. Well, his son's pretty virile. And have you see that spear he carries?
Jaina: Well...I guess maybe--
Thrall: See? You'll be fine. I gotta get moving. You stay strong for me, ok?
Jaina: ...ok...
Thrall: I'll stop by the second this whole "end of the world" thing is over, I promise. Come on, Garrosh.
Garrosh: Listen, I love seeing humans reduced to tears and all, don't get me wrong. But that was harsh, even by my standards.
Thrall: Players gotta play.

Breccia

[The Twlight destroyer]

win

[tranmet]

Awesome

[manofmagic]

made me lol irl =p

[Kidoeng7]

Pro. Loved it, it was fun to read!!!

[Tarend]

Amazing.

[Vasti]

First time I actually liked Garrosh....sadly he isnt anything like this in real (not the alliance killing machine part, but the funny comments he made)

Fun story....worth reading! Loved the ending and the Sartharion parts

[Octavios]

Love Sarth

[angael]

just... great...

[Deralte]

Fine read. :/

[chris1554]

Good read :P

[AlarStormbringer]

"And have you seen that spear he carries?" AWWWRIIIIGHT.

The Sylvanas part got me to chuckle. Jaina is gonna be pissed when Thrall comes home with another woman.

[Zaelsino]

Loud Voice from Outside: Dustwallow is NOT Alliance! It's a contested zone!
Jaina:...you brought Garrosh Hellscream?
Thrall: Yeah, he's my ride.

<3<3

[funpt]

so much win ^^ =D

[Nasser]

Dawww, now all I can think of is portal pranks on Sartharion...

[Bravehéart]

Amazing - /clap

[Keranion]

Loved it.

[Endeavor]

That was epic, thank you!

[Crush]

Amazing, tho 1 thing that bugged me and sorry for being a gramar cop, It's sylvanas but meh, still funny


Thrall: AND I need your calm mind keeping some amount of peace between Horde and Alliance, in case--
Garrosh: Get away from me, you dwarf runt! Do I look like a questgiver to you?
Thrall: Well, something like that, for example.
Garrosh: You want a quest? How about a fetch quest? Go fetch my axe! (distant yelp) It's over there, stuck in your flight master.

Best part ever!

[Lashana]

That was such an awesome read ^_^