Why people played paladin, long before you did

[Deleted]

Hahaha I remember when this was first posted, was the truth at the time.

[ketzil]

i was making a pally but before the patch added crusader strike for low lv retadins it was a pain in the ass only having auto attack and judgements and it more or less made me quit playing it and went back to my other chars

i tried templars verdict and divine storm and there not as exciting or powerfull as i imagined theyd be -.-

Now try to imagine it with no CS, just a judgement that uses your seal whenever you use it! Leveling a paladin back in the day was one of the more painful aspects to this game.

[Flaks]

I read this a really long time ago but its still funny as hell.

Sadly with the revamp this is no longer possible.

WHY BLIZZARD? WHY MUST YOU FORCE US TO ABSTAIN FROM HARDCORE GIRL ON GIRL PORNOGRAPHY JUST TO PAY ATTENTION IN THIS STUPID GAME?!

Also, this applies to leveling as a warrior in vanilla as well.

It took me 2 years to hit level 40. Guess how much 'action' I got while leveling.

P.S. 75% of men admit to watching porn. The other 25% lie about it.

[Batsmuggler]

That has to be the single most hilarious lie I've ever seen.

No no no, this has to be:

my girlfriend

[Tyneside]

Funny story: My job is to screen pornography before it goes live on the web and check for any kind of editing errors, as well as write up the promo content and teasers you guys see on all of those porn-tube/pic gallery websites. I play a paladin and I routinely do my job (watching the porn and writing about it) while tanking in dungeons and raids. Granted, I use a laptop to work and a desktop to play, so maybe it's "cheating" that I don't have to Alt+tab out, but hey, I'm playing Pally the way it was meant to be.

[Deleted]

I lol'd at all the guys flaming the non-porn-watchers 'cause they can't pull a girlfriend to look at and have to stare at a bunch of pixels instead.

I've a GF. I watch porn. Problem, officer?

[Badpaladin]

Funny story: My job is to screen pornography before it goes live on the web and check for any kind of editing errors, as well as write up the promo content and teasers you guys see on all of those porn-tube/pic gallery websites. I play a paladin and I routinely do my job (watching the porn and writing about it) while tanking in dungeons and raids. Granted, I use a laptop to work and a desktop to play, so maybe it's "cheating" that I don't have to Alt+tab out, but hey, I'm playing Pally the way it was meant to be.

Huh, talk about fitting the mold of the blizzard post! My initial response was, "awesome!". But now that I think about it, you must be awfully desensitized to it.

[plastkaze]

Now try to imagine it with no CS, just a judgement that uses your seal whenever you use it! Leveling a paladin back in the day was one of the more painful aspects to this game.

Druid was equally bad iirc. :3

[Requital]

I'm going to go as far as saying this and I am the Ret are probably the most common 2 Paladin related posts and they are both funny as shit.

I present to you, Nikos' thread.
___________________________________________________________________________
Hello, I am the ret

I am the retribution paladin, maybe you have heard of me??

I am the one who is doing the melee dps on you.
Or sometimes also, the monster - but that is hard, because several people do not like it when I do that.

Sometimes I am said to "Hey yous, you ret. Get in the "BACK AND TOSSA LE HEALZ"

I el oh el at this notion - and substitute my own. Often times my retting has gotten me trouble - for example:

Many people don't want me to go with them to Karazhan
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret1.jpg

Or even to simpler places, like adventuring inside of a shadow laboratory:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret8.jpg

Once I even was reported into the AFK's for being specced ret in a battleground:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret7.jpg

But I know what I can be capable of doing!! Even the Alliance has known of me:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret5.jpg

I have already beaten the World of Warcrafting because of ret. The king and Regent Lord have been vanquished:
YOU CAN DO THIS AS A ROGUE? NO! ONLY THE RET!!
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret6.jpg
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret4.jpg

What was the last thing going through General Stormpike's head as I smashed it with my hammer? I will give you a hint - it rhymes with "OH GOD HE IS THE RET!!"
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret2.jpg

Sometimes when I can finally find pals to do the raidings, I let them know the score right away. I tell THEM who the ret is:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret3.jpg
They don't forget at all.

So in conclusion, everybody I wanted you to know me, the ret. One day when more people are ret, I will look behind me and see less twriling fingers making girly heal magics. They will instead be making bruises - OR HOLES with weapons. Onto their enemies' faces, I think. One day, I will show up for the Karazhan raid, and I will see:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/...loimtheret.jpg

AND BEHIND ME will be the rogues, who can not spell their own class, who are left behind. And I will say LOLrogue. They will say "YOU ARE THE RET?? I HAVE BEEN PEW PEWED" and cry. I will toss them a 34 crit heal and solemnly say "Yes, I am the ret, it is time for me to go now, because I have raid bosses to pew." In their anguish and keyboard turning, their A and D keys will explode, leaving them POWERLESS and UNABLE TO MOVE LEFT OR RIGHT - then, we strike in unison.

Thank you for reading bye!

/e
rookie rets, this is how you do it:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/...heretflash.swf

/e
in addition to being a cool guy, you need to also wear a patch - to let the non paladins know:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/trueret.jpg

/e
be ALSO vigilant - mind your allies. Don't let this be you:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/euronoob.jpg

/3
the rets GET the girls - not holys:
http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/.../stephanii.jpg

[imtehrogue]

That's just badass

[4KhazModan]

Having only holy shield, consecrate, and judgement as a tank was NOT fun. Sure it got me into tanking, but I think tanking itself was more of a influence on me. Refreshing seals every 30 seconds and after judgement? Sure it kept you from falling asleep, but it was a pain in the ass.
Also, if you were dps. Judgement and CS is ALL you had.

Anyways, I found it pretty funny and entertaining. I just don't miss vanilla wow 1 bit.

[Requital]

Having only holy shield, consecrate, and judgement as a tank was NOT fun. Sure it got me into tanking, but I think tanking itself was more of a influence on me. Refreshing seals every 30 seconds and after judgement? Sure it kept you from falling asleep, but it was a pain in the ass.
Also, if you were dps. Judgement and CS is ALL you had.

I miss Seal twisting and that was a component of judgment eating the seal I'd die for those days again.

[OmegaManHester]

Why didnt the Fire Mage just spell steal his wings and apply an uncleanseable magic slow . When the fuck did mages get HoF ? They didnt he just borrowed yours