Page 1 of 2
1
2
LastLast
  1. #1
    The Patient Athrai's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Canada, Ontario
    Posts
    213

    Hello, I am the ret.

    I just thought i'd post this here since apparently I cannot find it among the forums and cause ALL paladins must see this before they are a true ret paladin =]
    Credit goes to Nikos of Sargeras

    Hello, I am the ret

    I am the retribution paladin, maybe you have heard of me??

    I am the one who is doing the melee dps on you.
    Or sometimes also, the monster - but that is hard, because several people do not like it when I do that.

    Sometimes I am said to "Hey yous, you ret. Get in the "BACK AND TOSSA LE HEALZ"

    I el oh el at this notion - and substitute my own. Often times my retting has gotten me trouble - for example:

    Many people don't want me to go with them to Karazhan
    http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret1.jpg

    Or even to simpler places, like adventuring inside of a shadow laboratory:
    http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret8.jpg

    Once I even was reported into the AFK's for being specced ret in a battleground:
    http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret7.jpg

    But I know what I can be capable of doing!! Even the Alliance has known of me:
    http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret5.jpg

    I have already beaten the World of Warcrafting because of ret. The king and Regent Lord have been vanquished:
    YOU CAN DO THIS AS A ROGUE? NO! ONLY THE RET!!
    http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret6.jpg
    http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret4.jpg

    What was the last thing going through General Stormpike's head as I smashed it with my hammer? I will give you a hint - it rhymes with "OH GOD HE IS THE RET!!"
    http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret2.jpg

    Sometimes when I can finally find pals to do the raidings, I let them know the score right away. I tell THEM who the ret is:
    http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/lolret3.jpg
    They don't forget at all.

    So in conclusion, everybody I wanted you to know me, the ret. One day when more people are ret, I will look behind me and see less twriling fingers making girly heal magics. They will instead be making bruises - OR HOLES with weapons. Onto their enemies' faces, I think. One day, I will show up for the Karazhan raid, and I will see:
    http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/...loimtheret.jpg

    AND BEHIND ME will be the rogues, who can not spell their own class, who are left behind. And I will say LOLrogue. They will say "YOU ARE THE RET?? I HAVE BEEN PEW PEWED" and cry. I will toss them a 34 crit heal and solemnly say "Yes, I am the ret, it is time for me to go now, because I have raid bosses to pew." In their anguish and keyboard turning, their A and D keys will explode, leaving them POWERLESS and UNABLE TO MOVE LEFT OR RIGHT - then, we strike in unison.

    Thank you for reading bye!

    /e
    rookie rets, this is how you do it:
    http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/...heretflash.swf

    /e
    in addition to being a cool guy, you need to also wear a patch - to let the non paladins know:
    http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/trueret.jpg

    /e
    be ALSO vigilant - mind your allies. Don't let this be you:
    http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/euronoob.jpg

    /3
    the rets GET the girls - not holys:
    http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/.../stephanii.jpg

  2. #2
    I've been playing my ret pally for a few years now, and only after seeing this thread today, do I consider myself a true ret.

  3. #3
    The Patient Xaith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    311
    The Retribution version of ALAMO's guide to play a druid.
    I totally crave it

  4. #4
    win
    i <3 u

  5. #5
    Freaking epic.
    The pen is mightier than the sword, especially if properly sharpened and in the hands of a well trained ninja.

  6. #6
    Oh old Windfury Totem, how I miss you and your WTFPWNAGE combo with that well timed CS/Judge/Melee/SoCasino proc.

  7. #7
    The Patient Athrai's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Canada, Ontario
    Posts
    213
    i luvs windfuryy <3
    Originally Posted by rëtribution
    hey, look at me. I'm needlessly escalatory and waving my newfound retribution paladin prowess around at people as if it means anything. Pay attention to me, i got achievements on the tail end of an expansion, clearly i'm better than you.

  8. #8
    Mechagnome Bullocks's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Orgrimmar bank
    Posts
    512
    Wow this is old

  9. #9
    saved and favourited on my mac webpages.... thank you good sir!

  10. #10
    Fluffy Kitten eternalwhitemoon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Rezzing. Again.
    Posts
    3,958
    I now cannot stop hearing "I AM THE RET!!" in my head.

    It's quite loltastic. Thanks for the read.

  11. #11
    The Lightbringer Lothaeryn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Maryland, U.S.
    Posts
    3,071
    be ALSO vigilant - mind your allies. Don't let this be you:
    http://www.bsu.edu/web/nmmakridakis/images/euronoob.jpg
    Pretty much sums up how useful my warrior was in BC, so i award +1 internetz for accuracy!

    "OH GOD HES RET!"- I lol'ed... seeing as that was the case for a very brief time after this was made ><
    Fod Sparta los wuth, ahrk okaaz gekenlok kruziik himdah, dinok fent kos rozol do daan wah jer do Samos. Ahrk haar do Heracles fent motaad, fah strunmah vonun fent yolein ko yol
    .

  12. #12
    Field Marshal Xelkova's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Posts
    96
    Ahh the memories >.>
    Quote Originally Posted by Leapers View Post
    I have a membership with a gym that I pay $30 a month... and I don't ever see people go up to the trainers or workers saying, "Hey! I pay you every month to use your services! I should be as fit and buff as the guy over there who works out for hours every week!"

  13. #13
    Awesomeness it was, smashed faces he did - for he was the ret.



    This made me smile a bit extra, i recall in TBC when 10 pallies on the server went and did Karazhan, just because they could. And they had the ret(s).

  14. #14
    The Patient Athrai's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Canada, Ontario
    Posts
    213
    Quote Originally Posted by Evilution View Post
    Awesomeness it was, smashed faces he did - for he was the ret.

    This made me smile a bit extra, i recall in TBC when 10 pallies on the server went and did Karazhan, just because they could. And they had the ret(s).
    I never did play in BC =[ But what happened? Did we suck bad?
    Originally Posted by rëtribution
    hey, look at me. I'm needlessly escalatory and waving my newfound retribution paladin prowess around at people as if it means anything. Pay attention to me, i got achievements on the tail end of an expansion, clearly i'm better than you.

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Athrai View Post
    I never did play in BC =[ But what happened? Did we suck bad?
    The only spec even close to viable for competative raiding as a paladin in WoW was holy until close to the end of TBC when prot became an option and almost needed as the aoe tank. Ret became an option around the same time, but still was always looked down upon as a leveling spec or something you just brought one of for the buffs.

    Wrath changed the direction of the game ALOT with the goal of trying to make every spec choice an real option.

  16. #16

  17. #17
    The Patient Athrai's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Canada, Ontario
    Posts
    213
    Quote Originally Posted by BDF View Post
    The only spec even close to viable for competative raiding as a paladin in WoW was holy until close to the end of TBC when prot became an option and almost needed as the aoe tank. Ret became an option around the same time, but still was always looked down upon as a leveling spec or something you just brought one of for the buffs.

    Wrath changed the direction of the game ALOT with the goal of trying to make every spec choice an real option.
    Epic
    Originally Posted by rëtribution
    hey, look at me. I'm needlessly escalatory and waving my newfound retribution paladin prowess around at people as if it means anything. Pay attention to me, i got achievements on the tail end of an expansion, clearly i'm better than you.

  18. #18
    Pit Lord iktankniet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    behind a desk
    Posts
    2,419
    Quote Originally Posted by BDF View Post
    The only spec even close to viable for competative raiding as a paladin in WoW was holy until close to the end of TBC when prot became an option and almost needed as the aoe tank. Ret became an option around the same time, but still was always looked down upon as a leveling spec or something you just brought one of for the buffs.

    Wrath changed the direction of the game ALOT with the goal of trying to make every spec choice an real option.
    I have tanked and healed in Karazhan. What makes that of me? :O

    ohw and we had a pala tank for the trash in Mount hyjal. that was awesome :P

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by iktankniet View Post
    I have tanked and healed in Karazhan. What makes that of me? :O

    ohw and we had a pala tank for the trash in Mount hyjal. that was awesome :P
    paladin tanks were good if the enemy could bring in between 2 hits per 5 seconds and 8 hits per 10 seconds. this was usually trash, but some bosses, like malchezzaar and Illidan, had a special ability that gave them extra attacks. these extra attacks could be crushing blows due to the then-enough 3 level difference between a boss and a player. paladins could push these, along with normal hits and crits, off the combat table as long as there are less hits than 8 per 10 seconds. warriors had issues with more than 2/5, since shield block had a 5 second CD and only worked for 2 hits when specced for it.

  20. #20
    Stood in the Fire Quackie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Bay Area, CA
    Posts
    364
    This vanished when the old WoW forums went away. Thank God it's been saved here in all its glory! =)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •