Hello, I am the ret
I am the retribution paladin, maybe you have heard of me??
I am the one who is doing the melee dps on you.
Or sometimes also, the monster - but that is hard, because several people do not like it when I do that.
Sometimes I am said to "Hey yous, you ret. Get in the "BACK AND TOSSA LE HEALZ"
I el oh el at this notion - and substitute my own. Often times my retting has gotten me trouble - for example:
Many people don't want me to go with them to Karazhan
Or even to simpler places, like adventuring inside of a shadow laboratory:
Once I even was reported into the AFK's for being specced ret in a battleground:
But I know what I can be capable of doing!! Even the Alliance has known of me:
I have already beaten the World of Warcrafting because of ret. The king and Regent Lord have been vanquished:
YOU CAN DO THIS AS A ROGUE? NO! ONLY THE RET!!
What was the last thing going through General Stormpike's head as I smashed it with my hammer? I will give you a hint - it rhymes with "OH GOD HE IS THE RET!!"
Sometimes when I can finally find pals to do the raidings, I let them know the score right away. I tell THEM who the ret is:
They don't forget at all.
So in conclusion, everybody I wanted you to know me, the ret. One day when more people are ret, I will look behind me and see less twriling fingers making girly heal magics. They will instead be making bruises - OR HOLES with weapons. Onto their enemies' faces, I think. One day, I will show up for the Karazhan raid, and I will see:
AND BEHIND ME will be the rogues, who can not spell their own class, who are left behind. And I will say LOLrogue. They will say "YOU ARE THE RET?? I HAVE BEEN PEW PEWED" and cry. I will toss them a 34 crit heal and solemnly say "Yes, I am the ret, it is time for me to go now, because I have raid bosses to pew." In their anguish and keyboard turning, their A and D keys will explode, leaving them POWERLESS and UNABLE TO MOVE LEFT OR RIGHT - then, we strike in unison.
Thank you for reading
rookie rets, this is how you do it:
in addition to being a cool guy, you need to also wear a patch - to let the non paladins know:
be ALSO vigilant - mind your allies. Don't let this be you:
the rets GET the girls - not holys: