1. #5741
    Quote Originally Posted by Kasierith View Post
    Granted! You no longer know how to use your legs at all.

    I wish I wish upon a star.
    Granted, you are now upon a star(the Sun) and instantly vapourised!

    I wish I was immortal.

  2. #5742
    Scarab Lord Mehman's Avatar
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    Granted, however everyone else in the known universe die to give you immortality. You are now alone in the universe, with no one to talk to ever.

    I wish there wasn't any boredom.

  3. #5743
    Granted, but everyone is constantly so entertained, they never sleep, and then the entire world dies.

    I wish that The Grand Maltese Tiger shall win the 2016 US Presidential election, and replace all the other politicians with his fellow tigers.



  4. #5744
    Warchief Letmesleep's Avatar
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    Granted, and while they do at better job of governing our country overall, they also pass a law banning every television station but Animal Planet. Now the only thing we have to watch is shows about alligators and the evils of hoarding a bunch of sick cats.

    I wish had a more colorful avatar.

  5. #5745
    Quote Originally Posted by Letmesleep View Post
    Granted, and while they do at better job of governing our country overall, they also pass a law banning every television station but Animal Planet. Now the only thing we have to watch is shows about alligators and the evils of hoarding a bunch of sick cats.

    I wish had a more colorful avatar.
    Granted.



    I wish these repair people would fix my truck already. Been waiting here an hour.
    9 out of 10 people agree that in a room full of 10 people one person will always disagree with the other 9.

  6. #5746
    Mechagnome Liagala's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Holidae View Post
    I wish these repair people would fix my truck already. Been waiting here an hour.
    Granted. It's been fixed for 53 minutes already, they're just making you wait so they can up the labor charges.

    I wish the person below me would wish for something terrible for me, so that it would then be corrupted into something awesome.

  7. #5747
    Mechagnome Ridesdel's Avatar
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    Granted, I wish for this corrupted wish that im about to wish would make you die instantly

    i wish you die instantly!

  8. #5748
    Fluffy Kitten Dyra's Avatar
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    Granted. A person called You is now dead. Happy?

    I wish I had a dish with some fish. Salmon fish!

    A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.

  9. #5749
    Moderator Kasierith's Avatar
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    Granted! But as you move to eat then they flop away and escape into a nearby stream, leaving you foodless.

    I wish I could travel in time.
    “A fool is not a person who does not know something. Rather, a fool is a person who is given information but who chooses to ignore what he is given based on how he wants things to be, rather than how things are."

    General Off-Topic Forum Moderator

  10. #5750
    Granted, but you have no control over what time period you go to.

    I wish I could speed up time whenever I wanted.



  11. #5751
    Moderator Kasierith's Avatar
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    Granted, but for every 1 second you speed up time, you age 10 seconds. So if you go twice as fast through a single year you'll age five years.

    I wish I was a cyborg.
    “A fool is not a person who does not know something. Rather, a fool is a person who is given information but who chooses to ignore what he is given based on how he wants things to be, rather than how things are."

    General Off-Topic Forum Moderator

  12. #5752
    Quote Originally Posted by Kasierith View Post
    Granted, but for every 1 second you speed up time, you age 10 seconds. So if you go twice as fast through a single year you'll age five years.

    I wish I was a cyborg.
    Granted. You are T-1000. In a metal works factory. And here's Arnold. With a grenade launcher.

    I wish I had cream cheese to go with my bagel.
    9 out of 10 people agree that in a room full of 10 people one person will always disagree with the other 9.

  13. #5753
    Granted, but the cream cheese contains peanuts which you happen to be very allergic to.

    I wish for this wish to be corrupted.
    I'm not a native English speaker, and yet, I don't suck at English. The argument "English is not my mother tongue" doesn't actually give you an excuse to do so.

  14. #5754
    Granted, but since you wished for your wish to be corrupted, the universe implodes.

    I wish that I had a one ton block of cheese in my yard.



  15. #5755
    Moderator Kasierith's Avatar
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    Granted. The block of cheese is so strong that it draws in all the mice in the city, and they immediately swarm over the cheese. Once they are finished devouring the cheese, they look for other sources of food, like you.

    I wish my cat wouldn't claw me when he's laying in my lap.
    “A fool is not a person who does not know something. Rather, a fool is a person who is given information but who chooses to ignore what he is given based on how he wants things to be, rather than how things are."

    General Off-Topic Forum Moderator

  16. #5756
    Granted. Now your cat bites you instead

    I wish my dog learns to take showers by himself.

  17. #5757
    Mechagnome Liagala's Avatar
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    Granted. When he's finished, he trots right over to his favorite human to shake the water off and then snuggle up with while smelling like wet dog.

    I wish my cat would stop waking my boyfriend and I up at 5am because she emptied her food dish. I keep telling her that she is not going to die of starvation in the next few hours, but she won't believe it!

  18. #5758
    Granted. Your cat now wakes you and your boyfriend up because she emptied her water dish - she needs to stay hydrated.

    I wish that my beard would turn into a handlebar mustache.

  19. #5759
    Mechagnome Liagala's Avatar
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    Granted, but it looks rather silly there on your chin.

    I wish it was 5:00 right now (US Eastern Standard, you don't get to corrupt that easily!)

  20. #5760
    Granted, however, the value of all digits on a clock have coincidentally been reassigned: 1 is now (ten), 2 is now eleven, 3 is now twelve, 4 is now one, 5 is now two, 6 is now three...etc.

    I wish the poster below me would stop by and "clean up after my dog" in the backyard.

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