Granted! You now dance like this! Yes, you turn black too, it comes with that too!
I wish I didn't know how to dance so I wouldn't feel embarrassed like Dyra.
Granted! You no longer know how to use your legs at all.
I wish I wish upon a star.
Granted, but everyone is constantly so entertained, they never sleep, and then the entire world dies.
I wish that The Grand Maltese Tiger shall win the 2016 US Presidential election, and replace all the other politicians with his fellow tigers.
Granted, and while they do at better job of governing our country overall, they also pass a law banning every television station but Animal Planet. Now the only thing we have to watch is shows about alligators and the evils of hoarding a bunch of sick cats.
I wish had a more colorful avatar.
Granted. A person called You is now dead. Happy?
I wish I had a dish with some fish. Salmon fish!
A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.
Granted! But as you move to eat then they flop away and escape into a nearby stream, leaving you foodless.
I wish I could travel in time.
Granted, but you have no control over what time period you go to.
I wish I could speed up time whenever I wanted.
Granted, but for every 1 second you speed up time, you age 10 seconds. So if you go twice as fast through a single year you'll age five years.
I wish I was a cyborg.
Granted, but the cream cheese contains peanuts which you happen to be very allergic to.
I wish for this wish to be corrupted.
I'm not a native English speaker, and yet, I don't suck at English. The argument "English is not my mother tongue" doesn't actually give you an excuse to do so.
Granted, but since you wished for your wish to be corrupted, the universe implodes.
I wish that I had a one ton block of cheese in my yard.
Granted. The block of cheese is so strong that it draws in all the mice in the city, and they immediately swarm over the cheese. Once they are finished devouring the cheese, they look for other sources of food, like you.
I wish my cat wouldn't claw me when he's laying in my lap.
Granted. Now your cat bites you instead
I wish my dog learns to take showers by himself.
Granted. When he's finished, he trots right over to his favorite human to shake the water off and then snuggle up with while smelling like wet dog.
I wish my cat would stop waking my boyfriend and I up at 5am because she emptied her food dish. I keep telling her that she is not going to die of starvation in the next few hours, but she won't believe it!
Granted. Your cat now wakes you and your boyfriend up because she emptied her water dish - she needs to stay hydrated.
I wish that my beard would turn into a handlebar mustache.