1. #5981
    Quote Originally Posted by Letmesleep View Post
    Granted, but there's so much snow that you get locked inside your house for the rest of winter. Oh, there's also a serial killer who wears a mask made of human skin in there with you.

    I wish it would heat up again because I hate this weather. 59 degrees is too cold for California! Too cold!
    You are now stuck inside your oven in California, it's pleasantly warm and getting warmer but you foresee problems in the near future.

    I wish for a sentient lampshade.

  2. #5982
    Banned Wayne25uk's Avatar
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    Granted,your lampshade is evil and strangles you to death with its cord.

    I wish i could liquidate every gun owner in America.

  3. #5983
    Granted, but you get shot (in a painful spot that doesn't kill you) by each one of their guns by their closest family member, and the last shot kills you. But you have to suffer through everyone but the lasts.

    I wish I could eat whatever I want and not worry about gaining weight.

  4. #5984
    The Lightbringer Santti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blueobelisk View Post
    Granted, but you get shot (in a painful spot that doesn't kill you) by each one of their guns by their closest family member, and the last shot kills you. But you have to suffer through everyone but the lasts.

    I wish I could eat whatever I want and not worry about gaining weight.
    Granted, you keep losing weight normally though, and no matter what you eat, you just don't get the lost weight back. You eventually wither away and die.

    I wish I found my own place to live in soon.

  5. #5985
    Warchief Letmesleep's Avatar
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    Granted, but the only location available is the sewer.

    I wish someone would train me to be a ninja.

    Edit: Lol Blueobelisk, that was a pretty good corruption.
    Last edited by Letmesleep; 2013-01-18 at 11:42 PM.

  6. #5986
    Granted. You spend 10 years learning ninja arts. Unfortunately on your first day as a fully fledged ninja someone with a gun shoots and cripples you because your shuriken was too weak for this day and age. You'll never walk again. (And I think people will hear you rolling around on your wheel chair, so it's safe to say your ninja days are over.)

    I wish Plankton would just die already in Spongebob and they wouldn't have to constantly worry about his Krabby-Patty-stealing schemes.

  7. #5987
    Herald of the Titans Muzual's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blueobelisk View Post
    I wish Plankton would just die already in Spongebob and they wouldn't have to constantly worry about his Krabby-Patty-stealing schemes.
    Granted, he dies and explodes (because he's evil like that), killing Mr Krabs and burning his place. Nobody is left alive to recreate a Krabby Patty and the formula is lost

    I wish I had better hair

  8. #5988
    Granted, your hair is amazingly stylish and looks great. However, you go bald by age 26.

    I wish I invented the perfect battery that never dies and provides a sufficient amount of energy to whatever its powering.

  9. #5989
    Mechagnome Liagala's Avatar
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    Granted, but it costs over $1M to make and requires ultra-specialized equipment so no one ever picks up on your invention and it is never produced.

    I wish I knew how to work my new phone
    [22:14] <+Lia> And why is Ruken molesting trees?
    [22:14] <@Rukentuts> Because they give me wood.
    [22:14] <+Lia> ...
    [22:14] <+Lia> worst pun ever
    [22:15] * Rukentuts boughs.

  10. #5990
    Warchief Letmesleep's Avatar
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    Granted. However, as soon as you begin to understand your phone you realize it's a Decepticon which proceeds to stab you through the chest. All hail Megatron.

    I wish babies weren't so loud.

  11. #5991
    Quote Originally Posted by Letmesleep View Post
    Granted. However, as soon as you begin to understand your phone you realize it's a Decepticon which proceeds to stab you through the chest. All hail Megatron.

    I wish babies weren't so loud.
    Granted! To communicate hunger, fear or irritability to their parents, however, babies now release horribly odorous farts instead of crying.

    I wish I could get any girl I wanted just by saying hello the them.

  12. #5992
    Warchief Letmesleep's Avatar
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    Granted, but your charm and charisma also net you plenty of women that you don't want. Also, you attract men. Hairy, pudgy, sweaty men...with mullets.

    I wish I could breathe in helium and talk funny without destroying brain cells.

  13. #5993
    Quote Originally Posted by Letmesleep View Post
    Granted, but your charm and charisma also net you plenty of women that you don't want. Also, you attract men. Hairy, pudgy, sweaty men...with mullets.

    I wish I could breathe in helium and talk funny without destroying brain cells.
    Granted, but you are becoming increasingly addicted to your own unique drug habit, 'helium huffing', and can't resist the urge to steal balloons from children and greedily inhale the entire thing.

    Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner!

  14. #5994
    Granted, you became an Oscar Meyer weiner in the form of a vehicle:


    I wish I could fly.

  15. #5995
    Fluffy Kitten Socks-chan's Avatar
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    Granted, but you can only fly in one story buildings.

    I wish for the next persons wish to go uncorrupted.

  16. #5996
    Granted. Works for me.

    I wish I knew why Mynta changed his name.

  17. #5997
    Fluffy Kitten Socks-chan's Avatar
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    Granted, it's because I wanted to change it to match my name on Steam.

    I wish I knew why Blue was an obelisk.

  18. #5998
    Mechagnome Liagala's Avatar
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    Granted, but the knowledge drives you insane and you spend the remainder of your short life slamming headfirst into whatever nearby objects you can find. It finally goes wrong when you decide a moving train looks like a great target.

    I wish I didn't get tired and never had to sleep.
    [22:14] <+Lia> And why is Ruken molesting trees?
    [22:14] <@Rukentuts> Because they give me wood.
    [22:14] <+Lia> ...
    [22:14] <+Lia> worst pun ever
    [22:15] * Rukentuts boughs.

  19. #5999
    Pandaren Monk 3DTyrant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liagala View Post
    Granted, but the knowledge drives you insane and you spend the remainder of your short life slamming headfirst into whatever nearby objects you can find. It finally goes wrong when you decide a moving train looks like a great target.

    I wish I didn't get tired and never had to sleep.
    Granted - But now the effects of no sleep are 100 times worse than normal

    I wish I COULD sleep normaly

  20. #6000
    Granted. You CAN sleep normally, but don't.

    I wish I could find a job that I would enjoy and pays decently, at least.

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