Granted, but you can't tell who is friend and who is foe, causing you to murder dozens of innocents. The police take you down, and you get buried in some ditch.
I wish I had a fish named Mish.
Granted - Your fish named mish is a shark who keeps you chained near his tank so he can nibble on you oh so slowly.
I wish i had passed the last test i did
Granted, you passed the test but fail all subsequent ones.
I wish video games entertained me like they used to.
Granted. That crazy &-@$; who wants to create video game taxes manages to get the tax to 50%. Also, the new consoles come out and video game prices go up to $80/game. You can no longer afford video games.
I wish I had US Open Men's Finals tickets without having to buy a plan or pay $44 to become a member.
Granted, but you have to be a caddy, and cannot use a cart.
I wish I had a piece of andes mint chocolate the size of a brick.
Granted, you have it but I steal it from you because it sounds delicious.
I wish Hastings would accidentally erase his own memory with that Men in Black gadget his avatar is holding up.
He does, but you erase yours, too.
I wish I had more chap-stick.
Granted, but it drys out your lips instead of moisturizing them.
I wish that dogs could talk.
They can talk, but they only make bad "Your Mother" jokes.
I wish unicorns were real.
Granted. They were real millions of years ago in the time of dinosaurs and got eaten. You'll never see one live today or any fossils of them, though.
Hastings. Mens Finals implies Tennis, not golf, LOL....
I wish my remote control would work well and I don't have to point it directly at the cable box like a bitch.
Currently only reading the Funny Pictures Megathread because the rest of the forums is filled with piss, whiners and pissed whiners.
Granted, but it turns out that you're actually one of Blueobelisk's descendants from the far future, and you cease to exist too.
I wish I always got exactly 8 hours of sleep.
Going from Mynta's
Granted, but now you only sleep during the day, and become a social outcast hermit.
I wish I could read 10 books at once.
Haha, silly Hastings, I'm already a social outcast hermit. Not having any friends in the town you live in sucks.
Granted, but for every book you read, you forget one random month of your life and everything you learned during that month.
I wish I had the money to move wherever I wanted while staying financially stable until I found a job.
I wish I had the power to go back to high school and burn down the high school football locker room with my magical fireballs.
Granted, but you accidentally burn down the library and computer lab at the same time (I hate myself for saying that, I do....).
I wish there were no more Mondays, we should start our work/school week on tuesday, but keep the ending day on friday.
Granted there are no more Mondays and work schedules are from Tues-Fri. But there are no more Saturdays or Sundays now.
I wish my car didn't need gas to drive, it could drive off of water.
Granted, but it can only go 1 mile per hour while running on water.
I wish I had download and upload speeds so high, everything completed instantly.
Granted, but you quickly hit your monthly data cap of 50g and get throttled to 10 kb/s up/down.
I wish I had all the books in the world.