1. #6501
    Fluffy Kitten Socks-chan's Avatar
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    Granted, the global temperature is now stuck at 68 degrees Fahrenheit year round, causing stuff to melt, flooding the world. You get eaten alive by a school of shrimp, while swimming in the radioactive ruins of New York, and the rest of civilization continues on, living on man made islands.

    I wish I could take control of people and make them do anything I wanted.

  2. #6502
    Granted, but you have to go through a...Uhm. 126 hours worth of philosophy lecture on the topic of free will before you get to use your power. And you can only control one person at a time, and only for one minute at a time. And it has a 24 hour cooldown.

    I wish my internet was faster.

  3. #6503
    Quote Originally Posted by Blueobelisk View Post
    Granted, but you have to go through a...Uhm. 126 hours worth of philosophy lecture on the topic of free will before you get to use your power. And you can only control one person at a time, and only for one minute at a time. And it has a 24 hour cooldown.

    I wish my internet was faster.
    granted. your internet now is loaded into your browser instantly. however, it takes the browser a minute per inch to render the page. oh, and your gaming speed is unaffected.

    I wish I was magically transported to a time in the future when humanity is starting to colonize the galaxy. because of the magic, I cannot die, be injured or locked up in that time and can choose to teleport to my own universe and back whenever I want, with retention of knowledge and any items I take with me.

  4. #6504
    Warchief Letmesleep's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nzall View Post

    I wish I was magically transported to a time in the future when humanity is starting to colonize the galaxy. because of the magic, I cannot die, be injured or locked up in that time and can choose to teleport to my own universe and back whenever I want, with retention of knowledge and any items I take with me.
    Granted, you can come to the future all you want and stay alive, but the Covenant have located all the Halo rings and intend to use them. Master Chief is not a part of this timeline. When the Covenant inevitably blow up the entire universe, all you can do in the future is drift around in space with a bunch of floating debris.

    I wish I had a maid. Or a spiffy butler, either will do.

  5. #6505
    Fluffy Kitten Socks-chan's Avatar
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    Granted, but the maid is a 300 pound, 92 year old woman from Ethiopia who speaks no English at all and constantly tries to throw herself on you. While naked.

    I wish I was wealthy enough to travel the world, doing whatever I want, without ever having to work again.

  6. #6506
    Bloodsail Admiral Wayne25uk's Avatar
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    Granted,you become a gold bar,your now worth millions,you travel around alot,u never work again,but you get to choose the destinations when your relocated to a different safe.

    I wish i wasnt wanted in 4 alternate universes for murder,piracy and slapping jesus in the face with a wet fish.

  7. #6507
    Quote Originally Posted by Wayne25uk View Post
    Granted,you become a gold bar,your now worth millions,you travel around alot,u never work again,but you get to choose the destinations when your relocated to a different safe.

    I wish i wasnt wanted in 4 alternate universes for murder,piracy and slapping jesus in the face with a wet fish.
    Granted. Jesus turned the other cheek and dropped all charges.

    I wish I wasn't stuck in a hotel for the next 2 or 3 days.
    9 out of 10 people agree that in a room full of 10 people one person will always disagree with the other 9.

  8. #6508
    Granted. You're stuck in a dirty motel for the next few days, instead.

    I wish I had White Castle.

  9. #6509
    Quote Originally Posted by Blueobelisk View Post
    Granted. You're stuck in a dirty motel for the next few days, instead.

    I wish I had White Castle.
    Granted. Harold and Kumar shoot you an invite to join their quest to get some. Unfortunately, you got left behind in Gitmo.

    Fuck now I wish I had some White Castle.
    9 out of 10 people agree that in a room full of 10 people one person will always disagree with the other 9.

  10. #6510
    Quote Originally Posted by Holidae View Post
    Granted. Harold and Kumar shoot you an invite to join their quest to get some. Unfortunately, you got left behind in Gitmo.

    Fuck now I wish I had some White Castle.
    granted. in the drivein, you get run over by FPSRussia in a tank.

    I wish the Brits weren't so uptight about horsemeat in their lasagna.

  11. #6511
    Bloodsail Admiral Wayne25uk's Avatar
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    Granted everyone who ate the horsemeat is now in a Stable condition,the condition wont last furlong though,just say neigh......teehee!

    I wish us brits werent so hungry we could eat a horse.....teeeeheeeeheee!

  12. #6512
    Quote Originally Posted by Wayne25uk View Post
    Granted everyone who ate the horsemeat is now in a Stable condition,the condition wont last furlong though,just say neigh......teehee!

    I wish us brits werent so hungry we could eat a horse.....teeeeheeeeheee!
    Granted, however you brits end up loving horse meat more than any other type, leading the spices to become endangered/on the verge of extinction.

    I wish time travel "machines" (watches w/e) had been invented. Present to past, past -> present, cuz you know no one is really worried about the future, but would rather right wrongs of the past.

  13. #6513
    Granted. Holidae has invented a time machine. He goes back in the past to stop Hitler, but accidentally kills one of your ancestors in the process and never even ends up killing Hitler. But you do not exist anymore.

    Oh, and he brought me back some money.

    I wish I had an IQ of 211.

  14. #6514
    Quote Originally Posted by Blueobelisk View Post
    Granted. Holidae has invented a time machine. He goes back in the past to stop Hitler, but accidentally kills one of your ancestors in the process and never even ends up killing Hitler. But you do not exist anymore.

    Oh, and he brought me back some money.

    I wish I had an IQ of 211.
    Granted. But like most geniuses, you're insufferable. Eventually people lose patience with you, and hire me to corrupt your wish in such a way that you die. I drop an entire bank on your head- a symbolic gesture.

    I wish during my time travel I had met my paternal great grandfather.
    Last edited by King Candy; 2013-02-25 at 03:20 PM.
    9 out of 10 people agree that in a room full of 10 people one person will always disagree with the other 9.

  15. #6515
    Fluffy Kitten Taurenburger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Holidae View Post
    Granted. But G R.R. Martin dies. This season will be the.... no, NO!! I can't do that, I won't; that's going too far.
    *grins*

    Quote Originally Posted by Holidae View Post
    I wish during my time travel I had met my paternal great grandfather.
    Granted. You'll take him for a ride and crash against a tree. He dies and you will cease to exist.

    I wish for summer in the Netherlands.

  16. #6516
    Quote Originally Posted by taurenburger View Post
    *grins*


    Granted. You'll take him for a ride and crash against a tree. He dies and you will cease to exist.

    I wish for summer in the Netherlands.
    Granted but Netherlands gets wiped out during a war and you have to flee to the artic where it's nice and cold.

    I wish for nothing.

  17. #6517
    Granted. You lose your house, car, parents, family, basically every position and relative/friend around you.

    I wish I had a biggest fan, who would follow me until I loved them.

  18. #6518
    Fluffy Kitten Socks-chan's Avatar
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    Granted, but he comes from the distant planet of Fansalsyrh, and is a giant, walking, talking industrial fan.

    I wish I was able to teleport to anywhere on the planet, instantly, and without a timer between teleports.

  19. #6519
    Granted, but you don't really know where exactly you're teleporting if you're teleporting somewhere out of your eyesight's reach. So when you teleport there is a chance that the matter of your body will merge with the matter of something else if you teleported in a spot where something else was. (Ex. You're in your room, you teleport to the bathroom, but your location was a little off and you end up merging your leg with the toilet bowl.) Good luck, it could still work out well for you.

    I wish I'll never have to remove my tonsels or appendix or wisdom teeth because they'll be okay on their own.

  20. #6520
    Warchief Letmesleep's Avatar
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    Granted, but both of your kidneys are shot. Better line up a donor...

    I wish there was a proper SSBB clone for the PS3 that didn't rely on the Smash Ball mechanic as it's fundamental way of defeating opponents.

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