1. #5401
    Granted, but instead you are burned to ashes.

    I wish I had all of Superman's powers without any of his weaknesses and without the need to be around our Sun to work.

  2. #5402
    Granted, but you're teleported to a different universe completely devoid of life because the past you destroyed it all.

    I wish I didn't have to drink any fluids to stay hydrated.



  3. #5403
    Quote Originally Posted by Xilurm View Post
    Granted, but instead you are burned to ashes.

    I wish I had all of Superman's powers without any of his weaknesses and without the need to be around our Sun to work.
    Granted but anyone you have sex with you shatter their hip with your super strength and when you orgasm (assuming your a man) you blow their head off like a shotgun so you are forever alone and no one will be with you due to that fear. You also have Parkinson's disease so you basically destroy anything you are near due to your shaking and even cause earthquakes. You are ruled a danger to the world and are asked to leave to protect us all.

    I wish could control the minds of others to whatever degree I desire.

    ---------- Post added 2012-12-02 at 03:03 PM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Mynta Vali Daseriu View Post
    Granted, but you're teleported to a different universe completely devoid of life because the past you destroyed it all.

    I wish I didn't have to drink any fluids to stay hydrated.
    Granted, but since you stay hydrated you are now taking a never ending piss and you have a pure water diarrhea squit that never stops leaking.

  4. #5404
    Mechagnome Akshak's Avatar
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    Granted but the first person you control has an insatiable love for Hanson, N'Sync and Lindsey Lohan and assails you with their fanboy shrine.

    I wish the Hooters Girls would take on the Victoria's Secret Angels in a no-holds barred tackle football game.

    Monsem - Shadow Priest / Halimath - Prot Paladin / Groundchuk - Elemental Shaman
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  5. #5405
    Fluffy Kitten Dyra's Avatar
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    Granted. The resulting gory carnage leaves you so traumatised you can never look at a beautiful woman ever again.

    I wish I had pink hair.

    A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.

  6. #5406
    Epic! Wayne25uk's Avatar
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    Granted but only i get to watch it,to which i have sex with them all afterwards........mmmmm heaven.

    Anyways!

    I wish i knew if any of these girls i just slept with have STIs (they may be from hooters and VSA but that doesnt make them super clean!)

  7. #5407
    Fluffy Kitten Dyra's Avatar
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    Granted. They all did. And now so do you!

    I wish I had a dishwasher.

    A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.

  8. #5408
    granted you use ur hands to wash dishes. i wish the guy under me could only grant wishes in everything but a hiaku.
    my friend code...

    5241-1925-7760 name toasty

    up for battles ...after 10/18/2013

  9. #5409
    Quote Originally Posted by sac View Post
    granted you use ur hands to wash dishes. i wish the guy under me could only grant wishes in everything but a hiaku.
    Granted, last poster.
    Now all people speak like this.
    I wish for a boat.

    ---------- Post added 2012-12-03 at 12:18 PM ----------

    Oh shit I wasn't supposed to use a Haiku?

  10. #5410
    Fluffy Kitten Dyra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blueobelisk View Post
    Granted, last poster.
    Now all people speak like this.
    I wish for a boat.

    ---------- Post added 2012-12-03 at 12:18 PM ----------

    Oh shit I wasn't supposed to use a Haiku?
    I have no idea, but I'm not a guy and I thought I would have to answer via haiku.

    Granted. It's more holes than boat though.

    I wish for some more charms for my charm bracelet.

    A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.

  11. #5411
    Granted, but your bracelet breaks because of how many you have, and every single charm roles down a drain, to make matters worse, the extra charms you did gain were solid gold with the rarest diamonds on earth studded all around them.

    I wish I had enough money to buy my nephew all the lego sets he wants, purley because he lets me build them and he plays with them (LETS SEE SOMEONE CORRUPT THIS WISH AND BREAK HIS HEART)
    Desktop: Zotac 1080 TI, I7 7700k, 16gb Ram, 256gb SSD + 1TB HDD
    Laptop: Zotac 2070 MaxQ, I7 8750, 32gb RAM, 500gb SSD + 2TB SSD
    Main Game: Warcraft Classic

    Haters gonna hate

  12. #5412
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by Rotted View Post
    Granted, but your bracelet breaks because of how many you have, and every single charm roles down a drain, to make matters worse, the extra charms you did gain were solid gold with the rarest diamonds on earth studded all around them.

    I wish I had enough money to buy my nephew all the lego sets he wants, purley because he lets me build them and he plays with them (LETS SEE SOMEONE CORRUPT THIS WISH AND BREAK HIS HEART)
    granted. however, you lose your fingers in an accident with a chainsaw. don't worry though, i'll build the sets in your place.

    I wish I had the confidence to actually go out and meet other people on the streets.

  13. #5413
    Quote Originally Posted by nzall View Post
    I wish I had the confidence to actually go out and meet other people on the streets.
    Granted, you have the confidence to go out and meet people on the streets. However, the people you meet are all delinquent thugs or just plain assholes like me and other kinds of people you'd meet in New York. The first person you meet stabs you and takes your wallet. Then you meet me and I try to help you by using your phone to call 911 but then:

    If you have an iPhone -> Do you have angry birds? Yes -> I steal your phone.
    No -> I download the game from the App store while you bleed to death.

    No iphone -> I throw your phone on the concrete and say "I'm not dealing with this shitty ass phone." and walk away.

    The third person you meet is actually the robber from before who forgot to check your other pocket for your phone (because what asshole keeps his phone and his wallet in the same pocket?) and since I stole it/broke it he stabs you again, this time killing you.

    I wish I could really find someone who is dying and rob their phone.

    ---------- Post added 2012-12-03 at 05:54 PM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Dyra View Post
    I wish I had pink hair.
    Since this got skipped I'll do it to make Dyra feel better.

    Granted, you have pink hair but the hair dye you used to color it actually causes your hair to start to fall out in patches.

    I'm not even gonna go further, that's pretty horrible. I'd cry myself to sleep at night for that.

    Oh btw no wigs work on you because the chemicals automatically erode them gradually and the scent of the chemicals in the wigs will kill you when mixed with the chemicals of that hair dye.

    Edit: Oh btw just to tie up all loose ends, if for some reason you wanted your hair to be naturally pink then all of the girls who went to your school while you grew up were incredibly jealous and tricked you into hanging out with them one day, but it turns out they were just leading you to Jessica's uncle Bobby who turns out to be a rapist pedophile and he rapes you.

    And the trauma lasts your whole life and like most rape victims do you cut off all your hair and gain 500 pounds as a subconcious self defense mechanism to keep away other rapists to make yourself look less appealing.
    Last edited by Blueobelisk; 2012-12-03 at 11:02 PM.

  14. #5414
    Have a rough day, Blue?

    Granted, but they come back to life as a vampire and kill you for not helping them.

    I wish to have all of my wishes granted without corruption.



  15. #5415
    Quote Originally Posted by Mynta Vali Daseriu View Post
    Have a rough day, Blue?

    Granted, but they come back to life as a vampire and kill you for not helping them.

    I wish to have all of my wishes granted without corruption.
    Granted but not till you are at your lowest and suicidal and your first wish is to die without clarifying how. You die of Ebola from an infected man as part of a brutal and rough anal gang rape.

    I wish the person who responds to mine goes and dies of a tragic and extreme scabies infestation.
    Last edited by Fugus; 2012-12-04 at 04:26 AM.

  16. #5416
    Fluffy Kitten Dyra's Avatar
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    Granted. Unfortunately you die before I do thanks to the Ebola you contracted.

    *goes to enjoy what little of her life is left*

    I wish the news would stop going on about the Duchess of Cambridge's pregnancy.

    A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.

  17. #5417
    Granted, but since it's the media, they just start going on, and on, and on about some other garbage.

    I wish Dyra would be instantly cured and restored to purrfect health. (Sorry, I had to.)



  18. #5418
    Quote Originally Posted by Mynta Vali Daseriu View Post
    Granted, but since it's the media, they just start going on, and on, and on about some other garbage.

    I wish Dyra would be instantly cured and restored to purrfect health. (Sorry, I had to.)
    Granted, he is restored to "Purr"fect health. He is now a cat in a foreign restaurant. He is currently perfectly healthy but about to be skinned alive as, in this country, they eat cat.

    I wish I were rich but the anonymous so I could live my life as I saw fit but no one else knew I had any real money unless I was willing to tell them personally.

  19. #5419
    Mechagnome Akshak's Avatar
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    Granted but because you're now anonymous no one knows where to send your checks, deposit your cash or deliver your toys to. Thus you eventually die penniless and hungry...not to mention beset of the worst body odor know to man or beast.

    I wish they'd allow teachers and staff at school to have beer at lunch.

    Monsem - Shadow Priest / Halimath - Prot Paladin / Groundchuk - Elemental Shaman
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  20. #5420
    Fluffy Kitten Dyra's Avatar
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    Granted. Because you're all drunk half the time the kids grades really start to suffer and slide as you're teaching them that the answer to everything is either potato or 42. You can't remember which, but they're both funny.

    I wish I was a master in origami.

    A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.

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