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    Pit Lord Eliot123's Avatar
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    Nomnom: The Gnome’s Guide to Visiting The Most Beautiful Alliance Cities!

    Contents
    Introduction
    Chapter 1: The Exodar
    Chapter 2: Darnassus
    Chapter 3: Stormwind
    Chapter 4: Ironforge
    Appendices


    Introduction

    Greetings, dear reader, and welcome to the newest edition of Nomnom – Traveller’s guide which has been shocking, frustrating and driving tourists insane for the last six years! Now with updates maps, charts, screenshots, menus and coffee stains, the crew behind making this guide is 74% sure that you will be very satisfied with its features, which can be compared to those of a scribbled-in-a-hurry fortune cookie note!
    Now, without further boring reading, let’s see what we have prepared for this edition!
    Our journey starts in Exodar…

    Chapter 1: The Exodar




    Magnificent. Majestic. Crashed.
    Exodar has many faces. This ship-city has two main entrances, one on the east side and one on the west side of the city’s dome. Before we enter, you might want to acknowledge the existence of Torallius the Pack Handler, Exodar’s official Elekk vendor and Aalun, the sexy riding trainer. Now, I would highly recommend entering the city through the east entrance, because it leads you through the scenic path which includes gamma-ray lightning bursts (personal grounded plasma shield recommended), insecure or non-existent handrails and collapsing floor cracks (chances of getting a bad case of dead are almost only 65%!), all the way down into the Seat of The Naaru (and maybe just as important – next to the famous Exodar inn , where the friendly caregiver Breel shall welcome you with open hands and offer you a glass of that famous Filtered Draenei Water).



    As we get to the bottom of the stairs, the first thing you will notice is a circular road around the Seat of The Naaru (= a bunch of purple crystals which everyone hopes won’t explode). Along the way you can find Exodar Bank and Exodar Auction House, north-west and south-west, respectively, as well as Hero’s Call Board in the middle.



    If you look to your right, you will see an opening – a vast hall, full of mysterious, mythical and mighty, the legendary Crystal Hall of Exodar.



    Seer Skaltesh shall offer you Elemental Sapta if you talk to him – a powerful potion (…actually made from ordinary water and a bit of engine oil but hey, it’s free so who cares!) that will allow you to see the elemental beings all around the hall. Or at least hallucinate that they are there. Either way, you might offend the locals if you try to take one with you as a souvenir so it’d be best just to buy a fluffy one in one of the shops in Trader’s Tier. The most important figures in this part of Exodar are the numerous Shaman trainers, along with First Aid, Jewelcrafting, Inscription and Enchanting ones, in addition to the Fishing trainer behind the shrine of Sulaa, one of the shaman trainers. Other interesting attractions for tourists in here are the Exodar Moth Trainer (which is, honestly, the only place worth visiting if you don’t have a moth pet yet! The blue one is so cute!) and numerous training dummies, for tourists of all ages, colours, sizes and heights.

    After visiting the Crystal Hall, we are going to walk into the next hall, south of it – The Vault of Lights. One of the first thing that you shall notice here –no, it is not the tall, good-looking Draenei Peacekeepers with rippling muscles that everyone seems to be staring at… we’ll get to those later, but it is the distinguished Exodar Purple Monster Museum!



    With over 5 2 visitors every year, in this museum can be seen many eye-burning evil-looking razor-saw-slicing monstrosities, sculptors of which you can see walking around in a group. For safety reasons, it would be best not to approach them without suitable protection (such as an instant hearthstone).

    Lastly, if you find yourself interested in Archaeology, you can always talk to Diya, the nice female Draenei in the middle of the hall who will be more than glad to teach you all the new methods of digging through dust. If we look to the right, we can see Exodar’s most famous celebrity – Prophet Velen with his bodyguards.



    Rumor has it that lately he has been working on his newest movie called ‘’Star Chores: A New Soap’’, which should come out any millennium now! Across the hall from him, Paladin, Priest and Mage trainers can be found, as well as Alchemy supplies and Portal Trainer, in addition to the portal to Blasted Lands which is open 28/7 (for exact locations and names, please look at appendix 54e). If you are interested in Herbs, this is where you can find an expert in that field, right next to the stairs that lead to Velen.

    As we enter the Trader’s Tier, tourists’ favorite place, we can already feel the crowded atmosphere that is an everyday thing, consisting of not one, not three, not seventy-five, but two(2!) Exodar Peacekeepers that walk through the hall every so often. To the left we can notice Guild and Tabard Vendor, as well as the Guild Master. Right up the stairs to the right, we can see Hunter trainers standing in their cubicle-like big-brown-curved-wall-like-structure that no one knows the name of so they call it a sanctum. Up the stairs from there, Warrior trainers can be found in their own sanctum.



    As we move on, famous Exodar Engineers can be seen, ready to train any willing enthusiast who would like to learn about all the new and modern ways to blow up the world!... or at least themselves, anyhow. Next to them you can find Mining and Smithing trainers, or, if you are into leather (/wink), nearby you can find Leatherworking and Skinning trainers, as well as a Tailoring one.

    I think this is a suitable time to mention that Horde factions sometimes find Velen’s talent too threatening and make a kill squad to try to eliminate him but one of the major problems that they, as well as thousands of Velen’s non-Draenei fans, come across is the fact that no one is actually sure where Exodar is. I’m not even sure where how I got here or why do they even have Peacekeepers but it would probably be better not to hang around too long to find out.

    Anyhow, we shall make way to our good friend Stephanos, the official Exodar Flight Master! (… and hopefully not the ex-pilot of Exodar, in which case it was nice knowing you). For only 88 copper, he shall stamp and send you on your way towards our next exotic destination – the ancient city of Darnassus!

    Chapter 2: Darnassus

    We have landed in Darnassus. An ancient city, a beautiful city, a quiet city. The first things that tourists notice here are the beautiful Elven lakes, the magnificent Elven architecture, the phenomenal distance between the Elven Bank and Auction House (maybe that is the secret to their thin waists? We’ll never know).



    Well actually, the very first thing that you might notice (/cackle, beside how all the sentinels are female Night Elves?) is a weird-shaped tree in the middle of the city, half badger half eagle but all in all – it serves the function of Darnassian Bank. Right next to it, for eager leveling masses, one can find Hero’s Call Board, offering starting quests for different zones of all levels.

    In the southern part of Darnassus, popularly called the Temple of the Moon, priests of all shapes and sizes can be found, trainers, learners, bosses…



    Also, this is where one of the rare non-elves in this city dwells – Elissa Dumas, the portal trainer who also keeps Exodar and Blasted Lands’ portals open in case a naïve adventurer decides to jump through. On the other end of the moonwell we can see Hammon the Jaded, who is the official Elven Archaeology trainer, so if you are feeling like surveying distant lands and learning to differentiate all shades of red, yellow and green flashing lights (in addition to distances which they mark), he is the right person to talk to! Lastly, on the first floor, those who are interested can visit the Paladin trainer living in Darnassus. She stands next to Tyrande and Malfurion, who aren’t of much use unless a) you are Horde who b)has a deathwish or c)has 39 other people who actually have a plan on how to execute the attack without the sudden urge to kick the proverbial bucket.





    Outside the Temple, in the *dramatic pause* Temple Gardens, individuals interested in Herbalism can find a trainer as well as a supply vendor for the aforementioned profession. In addition to this, Night Elf Mages can find their trainers just a bit west from the Temple entrance. One of the more important NPCs here would most likely be the reagent vendor who likes to pace between the Temple and the Bank so most of the time you can find her on the bridge.



    As we move from the Bank over the bridge to the east, we can see the Battlemasters and Warrior trainers to the left and some not-so-very-important-as-they-like-to-think elves to the right. Shockingly enough, this part of Darnassus is known as the Warrior’s terrace, where also the Training Dummies can be found for tourists to poke or throw half-molten ice creams at, or if you like to spend your endless fortune and don’t have an owl that you’ve always wanted to have, you can buy two species of this lovely shrieking bird right across the road at a fair Night Elf girl called Shylenai.



    A bit north from the Warrior’s terrace is where most Night Elf Craftsm- Craftswo- Craftselves can be found. This is where tourists have a field day – here you can find anything, from an Inn, over Enchanting, Tailoring, Leatherworking, Skinning, Alchemy trainers to Cooking and First Aid ones. If we go even a bit more north, we can see a big tree with waterfalls (you don’t want to know) called the Howling Oak, where Gilnean refugees have taken shelter so there one can find some other class trainers, such as Warlocks and Druids (for anyone interested in fashion: fabulous Gilneas Tabard can be bought at Gilneas quartermaster next to Darnassus Flight Master, get it while it’s still in!).



    After staring for a while at the big oak, we continue our way but this time to the north-western part of Darnassus, visiting Cenarion Enclave. It is here that young Rogues, Druids and Hunters can find the proper education, as well as where Sabre handlers (a.k.a. Darnassus mount vendors) are located.

    Lastly, we visit the Trademen’s Terrace, where the most important institution would be the one and only, Far Far Away Darnassian Auction House, seen in the first wooden building to the right, just next to the lake. If you are planning on visiting it, bring a lunch. Or two.

    Chapter 3: Stormwind

    Now, a big change is about to happen in our quest! Mission! Thing!... Or we can just call it a journey. Whatever it is, the next stop on the way is none other than the monumental city of Stormwind! Often raided, never silent, constantly buzzing with latest news about gold price discounts or scary gorilla-theft stories; this is the city that never sleeps! Even as I step onto the dock, I get pushed aside by a large mass of creatures of all kinds moving in a mob and jumping into the sea one after another, mumbling some hard-to-understand words but they seem to sound like ‘’daily’’, ‘’cage’’ and ‘’rock lobster’’. Strange folk indeed! Personally, I think it’s the thin air up around their heads – no Gnome would do such a foolish thing! As I walk around in wonder, I overhear the workers talking – apparently the last dock on the other side from this one is where the ships from Northrend and Vashj’ir pick up passengers.



    Anyhow, let’s go into the city! As we go up and past the ramps, you can spot the grand lions of Stormwind, marvelous sculptures created when Stormwind Harbor was finally built. Moving out of the Harbor, you can all see the ex-Stormwind park in the shape of big, ruins-littered black fiery cliff of DOOM. Basically what happened was the following: Deathwing came, Deathwing saw, Deathwing conquered, res ipsa loquitur.



    Nothing interesting about a pile of dirt. Unless you are an archaeologist. In that case, knock yourself out, we’ll wait. You’re done? Sure? Ok.

    Now, all purple and green, we can see the magical Mage Quarter. Here many trainers can be found, ranging from (…obviously…) Mage and Portal trainers, over Herbalism, Alchemy, Tailoring, Inscription and Enchanting to Warlock trainers, as well as Reforging of items in the little enchanting shop on the outer side of the MQ-s, facing the canals.

    Talking about the canals, as we cross one and enter the Trade District, we can already feel that we’re about to see a lot more people. After all, this is the heart and soul of Stormwind. Some are in the Auction House which is at the very center of the city; others are across the street in the Stormwind Counting House, while others are standing around the fountain - chatting, crafting or simply appearing as if they are not there.



    Of course, I must take this small opportunity and mention The Gilded Rose – the most famous Stormwind Inn, where innkeeper Allison is more than willing to help you with anything you might need, from Sweet Potato Bread to Sparkling Oasis Water.



    If you are tired, you can rest at the inn – the accommodation is cheap and good. Well, satisfying. Ok, that might be pushing it but at least you won’t sleep in the mud… too much of it anyhow.



    Within a few yards from the inn you can also find the reagent vendor and general goods vendor who will have pretty much any commonly sold object that you might need. Down the street from them is one of the most wonderful and magnificent shops in the whole Stormwind – Trias’ Cheese shop, property of the Trias family, with Elling Trias as the most prominent member. Another little shop in Trade District worth of mentioning is the barber shop. Currently run by Gnomes, it is a place that’s always open and always ready to show the world its newest creation in the field of quantum mech- quantispike green mohawks, or maybe something less wild – pink Gnomefro. Be careful though, that may be just an ordinary Gnomefro, but watch out because that is not ordinary Gnomefro! Only the ones who are worthy enough can see it, otherwise it’ll look just like a bald head…



    The next part of this noble city that everyone loves is the Old Town. Here you can find both PvP and PvE gear vendors, as well as a range of different trainers, starting from Warrior, Rogue and Hunter ones over Riding trainers and Horse breeders, all the way to Training Dummies for tourists who are not totally covered in strawberry ice cream.

    Between Old Town and Dwarf District, a big keep can be seen. This would be the (in)famous Stormwind Keep, with the king of Stormwind, Varian Wrynn. He likes to kill orcs, erect statues of himself in the middle of national crisis and take long walks on the beach. Scratch that. Anyhow, he’s there, as well as his son and the ambassador/leader of Worgen, Genn Graymane.



    Overall, not a very exciting place, unless you find talking to Battlemasters exciting. However, there are two persons in the Keep who are worth talking to. One is Behsten, a stealthed rogue who will, for a small fee, stop your experience gain for all sources. For what purpose you might use this is up to you. Next one is Harrison Jones, who can be found in the Keep’s library. He is the official Stormwind Archaeology Trainer. You might even call him a professor… part time. Very exciting and friendly person to meet, as long as you are not/do not have any snakes.

    Behind the Keep, in the middle of a small lake is an isle. Here portals are located to different areas where Deathwing’s destruction has been sensed or where twilight cult has been active. None of them are very safe and I wouldn’t recommend going into any unless you are at least 80 yea- level 80.

    After the Keep, as a bit of freshness in all this human business, we arrive to the Dwarven district! Oh the fun moments one can have here, for it is not only a Dwarven district! You can find Gnomes here as well! And Draenei! And I think we all know the joke about the two Dwarf and one Draenei shaman trainers who entered the inn… Anyhow. In this part of Stormwind another Auction House can be found, along with the Royal Bank of Stormwind. Aside from Engineering, Blacksmithing and Mining trainers who are located in this section of the city, one of the most important structures in the whole Alliance can be seen here, and that is the Stormwind part of the Deeprun tram, which connects it with Ironforge. Built by united efforts of Gnomes(!), Dwarves and Humans, this partially-underground-partially-underwater-megastructure is one of the hallmarks of Alliance engineering, effort and determination. The view inside is quite nice as well.

    The very last part of Stormwind that we shall visit is probably its most beautiful part – the Cathedral Square! The breathtaking Cathedral situated in the middle of it is simply impressive, along with being useful. In it, one can find Priest and Paladin trainers, as well as a First Aid trainer. One of the interesting places to visit within the Cathedral are the Stormwind Catacombs. Other than that, places worth of mentioning in Cathedral Square are the Stormwind Orphanage and the City Hall.



    Chapter 4: Ironforge

    Now, we shall go back to the Deeprun Tram and take an exciting trip through it – no reason to worry though, the glass barrier only exploded 4 times so far, less than once a year!



    While we are on the moving platform, please keep your arms, legs, tentacles, tails, pets and totems in at all times, the maintenance crew are quite sensitive about having to scrape organic matter fused with the tunnel’s wallpaper every few weeks.

    Finally, we arrive to the Ironforge end of the tram, welcomed by one of the most prominent figures, the Gnome who revolutionized the turning of rats over pits by adding an extra 8.4 turns, you’ve guessed it folks - Monty is his name and rats are his game! Here we’ll make a little break while everyone tries his famous Deeprun Rat Kabobs, just don’t crowd him, he hates that. Omnomnom.

    O-kay, now that we’re done with eating, let’s enter Ironforge!



    Right from Deeprun Tram, we enter the small yet important Tinker Town.



    This part of Ironforge is run by Gnomes and, honoring its name, it is full of Gnomish technology. Cogwheels, bars, levers, tubes, forges and, of course, Engineering and Alchemy trainers, this little community will never fail to surprise you with new discoveries, as long as having eyebrows is not an important thing in your life.

    Going in a clockwise direction, we enter the part of Ironforge known as the Military Ward.



    The well-known tourist activities here are practicing battle skills on the training dummies, having a laugh with the Battlemasters over the new Alterac Valley gossip and, lastly, if you are into that kind of thing, talking to Hunter and Warrior trainers.

    Continuing clockwise (mind the shaft MIND THE-



    nevermind… just walk up the ramp), we can see a wide, brightly lit area in front of us – the well-known Ironforge Commons. To the left, over the bridge, is the Ironforge Auction House while across the room from it is the famed Ironforge bank. Ironforge’s Visitor’s Center, one of my favorite locations, can be found on the east side of the Commons, while the barber shop can be found on the west (more-clockwise-one) side. In addition to this, the Commons are known for two more important points of interest: first one is Stonefire Tavern, which has been warmly greeting and accepting weary travelers for many years now, run by the Firebrews, and second one is right next to it – Barim’s reagents, property of Barim Jurgenstaad who is famous for always having fresh Maple Seeds, Ankhs, Arcane Powders and Runes of all sorts.



    Moving on into the next major part of this magnificent city: the Mystic Ward.



    Reputable for its many magical dwellers, the Mystic Ward is just the place for any Mage, Priest or Paladin interested in learning new spells, abilities and powers, or maybe just wanting to hear the newest gossip about what this year’s magic-user fashion is like – don’t say I told you this, but I’ve heard that blue is the new purple!

    The following part of Ironforge has been of great interested to both members of the Alliance as well as Horde... Outstanding when it comes to fish quality, the Forlorn Cavern is a quiet part of Ironforge which allows sanctuary to everyone who wants to run away a bit from daily duties and just enjoy in the ancient art of fishing.



    This is the very place where you can find fishing trainer, if you think you have what it takes to become a professional fishergnome. Another reason why this part of Ironforge is so quiet might as well be the fact that this is where the rogues of the Alliance meet to train new abilities, discover new talents or just chit-chat about the modern ways to help a person move on with their existence with just one tiny feather!

    Our next Ironforge destination is the famed Hall of Explorers!



    With many a Dwarf, Gnome, Draenei and other explorer, digger, archaeologist and historian visiting this well-known museum and overall history centre, it is often a very busy place… as long as a certain resurrection spell doesn’t go wrong or a certain mage removes water filter from their portal before teleporting to it.

    The very last place in our Ironforge visit is its very own Forge – the main attraction and its main pride.



    Huge, thick, durable, this object is extremely important to all the Dwarves. They’ve even, basically, built the whole city around it – the main circle around the forge is full of little shops of each and all kinds: trainers for everyone and everything, vendors, quest givers, not a thing missing. Even the council of Ironforge, which rules it, is right behind (or in front, depending on the perspective) the great Forge…



    One last thing about this glorious city which I feel obliged to mention are its rams. Its magnificent, well-bred resilient rams, sold as mounts for all Dwarves and all other Alliance members who have obtained exalted status with Ironforge, at Amberstill ranch just outside Ironforge, down the road to the east.



    Alas, the time to slowly end this guide has come (caused by the critical lack of more glorious Alliance cities to visit). It is at this moment that the crew responsible for making this guild would like to thank you for using it, even if it is only as an extra height for a leg of your wobbly desk. Here is a picture of the whole crew, wishing to say ''thanks''!



    Appendices

    Appendix 54e

    Map of Exodar with labeled common points of interest



    Map of Exodar with class trainers labeled



    Map of Exodar with profession trainers labeled



    Appendix 54d

    Map of Darnassus with points of interest



    Map of Darnassus with class trainers



    Map of Darnassus with profession trainers



    Appendix 54s

    Map of Stormwind with points of interest



    Map of Stormwind with class trainers



    Map of Stormwind with profession trainers



    Appendix 54i

    Map of Ironforge with points of interest



    Map of Ironforge with class trainers



    Map of Ironforge with profession trainers



    …If there is anything that we may have left out yet you are interested in, you can always try asking a guard for directions. Chances are, they’ll know where it is.

    Last edited by Eliot123; 2010-12-24 at 11:00 AM.
    PULL THE LEVER KRONK!

  2. #2
    Field Marshal Vorador's Avatar
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    Ok... this was an awesome guide. Not because I didn't know most of this stuff, but because it's so nicely written, so complete, and most importantly, I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF .
    Good job man .

    Why yes, I do have too much time on my hands... how did you guess?

  3. #3
    Field Marshal Talizora's Avatar
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    Excellent and funny! I Loved the picture and the writing, so very very funny!

    Well done! 10/10!!

  4. #4
    great guide !! I really lol'ed at the SW Barbershop

  5. #5
    I never noticed the Darnassus bank was shaped like animals! ^_^ And I love the Sweeney Todd skeleton upstairs in the barber shop

  6. #6
    Fuck me this is an awesome guide! D

  7. #7
    The Patient
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    Very nice guide mate!

  8. #8
    The Patient SheepHunter's Avatar
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    OH I lol'd.

    Man I never found the way in exodar before, BUT NOW thx to the guide I could find the AH!

    10/10

  9. #9
    Fantastic guide! Well done, a great read, and chock full of things to learn for every player. Kudos.
    Help control the population. Have your blood elf spayed or neutered.

  10. #10
    Pit Lord Eliot123's Avatar
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    Hehe, thanks guys:P Had a lot of fun making it^^ \o
    PULL THE LEVER KRONK!

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