I'm really bored and most people in my time-zone are asleep
I'm really bored and most people in my time-zone are asleep
It seems the only time I get to write anymore is on flights. All I'm saying is that if you want to keep reading, you might try sending me places. A trip to Europe wouldn't be out of line.I'm so terribly grieved to say I never saw the Poofy Jacket again. It appears we just were never meant to be. Our connection was only physical and when there's not depth, it just doesn't last very long. Hence, I was feeling a bit shallow about it. I talked to a couple people about her, namely my counselor and my community group pastor. I really should name him. For the time being, let's call him Porter.Both of them said that there's absolutely nothing wrong with getting excited over a (small) physical touch like that. Touch is an important part of a relationship and life in general. It was some food for thought. Porter added that he didn't think I was a wuss for not talking to her after the service given the circumstances, but that he'd get on my case if I saw her again and didn't man up. This is because if I didn't, I'd be falling for an infatuation rather than the real thing. That makes sense.Porter used to be a campus pastor. Every now and then one of his interns would get pious and tell him that they had a crush on one of the students, and request to avoid them in future events. He would then say, all right, that student is going on this trip and I want you to lead it. Also I see they're signed up for this retreat, and so you should help plan it and attend. This would confuse the intern, but in all but one case, they'd come back saying, oh man, I am so over them. The one case where that didn't happen, the two got married.I had a small crush on this girl I rarely saw, and I didn't want it. I applied Porter's story and the next time I saw her, hung out with her a bit. By the end of the night, I was so over her. Great girl, but not at all mine. She mumbles.I don't remember when this particular conversation with Porter happened, but it's noteworthy. He has this notion of the resume and the interview, related to dating. The resume is compatibility on paper. Are you both Christians? Do you have similar interests? In short, is it a "smart" match? The interview is how well you get along. Do you have fun together? Can you maintain a conversation? Is it easy to maintain a conversation? The interview is essentially chemistry. You have to have both for a successful relationship. For me, Denna is a great interview, but the resume doesn't work (ie, she's not a Christian). Vin has a great resume, but in person, we just don't feel it. Both are great people, and I'm super blessed to have them in my life, but neither is a good match for me.Thanksgiving was great this year. My mom and Jack have moved into their new place and it's beautiful. The view, somehow, looks even better behind glass. Maybe it was the knowing, before the place was finished, that it wouldn't be as good as we were seeing it because it would be behind glass, and now we know what it'll look like. It could also be that every time I had the view before the house was completed, there was dust in the air and/or it was dark out. Or rainy. Anyway, the view is good. Company was great too. I didn't hear any of the usual family politicking, though apparently there was some. Ignorance is bliss, my friends. As is selective hearing.Sometime between the Poofy Jacket and Thanksgiving, my counselor and Porter both suggested online dating to me. It took me a while to get past caring about the stigma. STIGGMAAA. My counselor suggested eHarmony. Porter suggested both eHarmony and match.com. For me, he sided with match because he trusts that I'm not a shallow person who would only look for looks, and eHarmony doesn't allow you to see pictures until you've talked a few times. My counselor was talking about eHarmony and said they have a pretty rigorous personality test before you are allowed in. That night, mostly out of curiosity about the test, I sat down to join eHarmony. It's about as rigorous as the personality quizzes I used to take for fun and out of boredom in junior high. I clicked submit on the last page, and well, I'll let you read it.I found it funny rather than depressing, and five minutes later had a match.com profile. Out of spite.I found several girls I was interested in. The first one seemed good and match.com said that she had added me to her favorites, but obviously, in order to contact her, I had to buy a subscription. I figured I'd bite the bullet and then forget about it. After I had paid for the subscription, it said this girl had viewed my profile -- nothing about favorites. Well played, match, well played. I emailed the girl saying I knew it was short notice and asking if we could grab coffee between church and church the next Sunday (this was Friday). She replied on Saturday, I think, saying she'd have liked to but that she was busy. I asked if she'd still like to get together sometime later, and she said yes. After that I became a little obsessive. It was not healthy. I don't know if she knew I was checking her profile whenever I was idle at a computer or not. (Match tells you how many times your profile is viewed, but it's not broken down by whom, and it also tells you who's viewed your profile, so if your profile doesn't have much traffic, it's pretty easy to put 2 and 76 together. However, I've noticed the number of views doesn't seem to increment correctly.) To be fair, I wasn't looking at her profile much. I just have this thing where whenever I find a new site or am excited about something, I just leave it open on my computer, sort of a comfort thing. I don't know. I'm weird. At any rate, First Girl didn't reply again, either because she's a jerk or figured out I was a little bit obsessive. After her, my flare died down and I as able to think again. Bob helped a bit with that, calling me out on it.That between church and church thing was this: Porter and I were doing a community group -- that much my religious readers ought to already know -- and I seemed distinctly unqualified based on that facebook note/post in August. Oddly I don't remember the name, and since it was on facebook rather than written on my machine, I can't find the file. Anyway, being unqualified is the mark of a Christian who can be used. Qualified people can be too, but who considers themselves qualified? Porter wanted me to get up and basically share the story of that blog post and the events leading up to it in front of the church at three (of five) services. Then he drew the connection to the community group, and prayed over me. Honestly, the hardest part for me was shrinking my blog post to 700 words or whatever it was, so it would fit in the bulletin. My head pastor, Dietrich, has written a couple books now, and said he sympathizes. That made me chuckle a bit.On match, I finally did meet a girl. She was cool, and we talked on the phone a bit. We connected on some odd things, like the correct rules for Rummy. I facebook stalked her a bit and discovered I'm not physically attracted to her. This made me feel super guilty because I was always the guy who prided himself on looking at the personality rather than the book cover, even if, now that I think about it, nearly ever girl I've had a crush on was pleasing to the eyes. Mostly that's because they were always one-sided. As long as it's not going to happen (attractive or not), why not choose attractive? Anyway, this bothered me for about a week. I talked to several people who all said that's just the way it is, that physical attraction is something needed in a relationship, and if it's not there, it's not. I saw her anyway. I visited the day before Thanksgiving, risking life and limb to the snow covered roads. I should say road, singular, as the only road with snow on it was the one her house was on, which is why she was afraid to go out to the movie with me. We hung out, watched a couple movies, and talked for a bit. It was good, easy, simple. And then I realized something. I could do with her looks. But it was boring. I don't think she'd ever challenge me. She's a great person, but I need someone different. And after that, I realized I don't need a girlfriend. For the first time since before I reconnected with Denna, I was content being single. Dietrich, a week or two prior, gave some advice that Paul gave: if you're single, don't be eager to be in a relationship, and if you're in a relationship, don't be eager to be single. Be content where you are, and live in the moment, essentially. God uses both facebook relationship statuses. In Dietrich's words, "Don't search, but don't hide either." The girl and I got together one more time, but whatever had been there was gone, and we petered out.I changed my match profile to say that, that I was content being single, and that I wasn't searching, but neither was I hiding. That I probably wouldn't visit match very often, but that the droves of girls visiting my profile shouldn't be dissuaded by a "last online 3 weeks ago." Work's gone well, but has been kind of hectic. My boss went to head a new group, so right now I am without a dev lead, and report directly to my dev manager. On top of that, it's been December which means productivity drops to about 35%; everyone's on vacation. I had an audio addictive flare with Sixpence None the Richer. I listened to, several times, the whole collection on the Zune Marketplace via a 14 day trial of Zune Pass. I'm still on the fence for purchasing a subscription. I'd be less on the fence if my new Windows Phone (awesome, by the way) worked with my car stereo. I don't know if it's the software of the phone, software of the stereo, or either of the hardware, but both the phone and the stereo know they're linked, and just no sound comes out. I know, I know, #firstworldproblems.On one of my last days of work, I met with one of my friends from church who also works at Microsoft. She's been called to go to Mexico as a medium-long term missionary. I'm excited for her, and also impressed that both of us so clearly felt God's desire here. She made fun of me for being a pastor's pet. Hey, if there's someone out there who's an expert on what you're interested in, why not hang on their every word? Swoon. I told her a story, which I think helped her accept her calling, but also really freaked her out. It's an in-person story, so if you know me, you can ask. If not, well, get to know me.The Sunday before Christmas was night 1. A girl named Goose found me on match and said I seemed sweet. I get a text message whenever someone emails me on match, and I had just finished playing me some violin, so I got online. She was still on, so rather than replying, I just IMed her.<rant>Match.com's chat client is the worst thing ever conceived. Take clubbing baby seals, mix it with choking some puppies (not chihuahuas), light a hot girl's hair on fire, and eat asparagus, then multiply that all by the golden ratio to the power of the sum of the third hundred digits of pi, and you'll almost have how awful this chat client is. If we waited for software to start self-evolving, then the first bit of software, the bacteria of software evolution, would be significantly better than the match.com chat client.</rant> Goose and I quickly switched to facebook chat.Goose. is. amazing. She is smart (smarter than I am, but not intimidating), creative, clever, hilarious, ridiculous and silly. She's a 5'8" theater and art history double major, who watches a lot of movies, loves plays and musicals, enjoys nerdiness, and slips into character with me. Seriously, we both spontaneously went into character for the upcoming conversation, and she wouldn't let me break it (I edited it slightly for typos and the time I tried to break out of character, as, aside from being awesome that she refused to let me leave, it didn't add much). The following happened over text message on night 3.She out-sappied me. This has never happened before. Fey read it and said, "... Holy crap. When's the wedding?" I never thought someone like me existed before. She's in Idaho right now for Christmas with her family, but is coming back on Monday. I intend to pick her up from the airport, and I'm allowed to as long as I talk to her dad first. I love it. As you might have noticed, this means we've not actually met yet, but we've done the Google version of Skype for a cumulative total of several hours, on top of quite a bit of instant messaging and some phone calling and SMSing, though we've sworn off supracursory txts. Of course if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. There are a few kinks to work out, but I'm confident. Recently I watched Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann again with Marvel. So in that spirit, WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE? I figure I can give up because of a couple large challenges or I can just find a bigger drill. RO RO FIGHT THE POWA! It's funny how I'm thinking if I tack on "Of course, I'll also be praying a lot about this," it sounds less manly. But I will, and it shouldn't. I feel a lot more carefree than the people in the know think I am. I'm sort of just along for the ride at this point. I know if the worst should happen, for this girl, it's both totally worth the risk, and totally worth the loss. And, at the very least, she's set a new low bar for whomever I end up with. It's a damn high bar. Marry extraordinary or don't marry at all. A couple weeks before this, I'd realized that I hadn't seen Denna in over a year, and that I hadn't had an adventure than longer than that, and that seeing the Grand Canyon with my good friend Denna would be an adventure. So I did. Photos can be seen here. Most of the story is there, and it's still fresh in my memory, and for some reason that makes me want to type it up less. Most of the story can be read in picture captions. Long story short, nothing went according to plan, and I don't even feel like I've seen the Grand Canyon yet, but it still went great. The part that wasn't documented for want of photos, was that in the morning, Petrolex went off to work, and her brother and sister-in-law made us breakfast. At the rental car area, Denna and I said our bittersweet goodbyes and boarded busses to separate terminals. At my gate, I met a woman from Washington who lives on the east side (of Lake Washington) who teaches violin and guitar, and is a ski instructor. How awesome is that? If you hadn't figured, that's why I am (was) on an airplane writing this post. I'm about to take my connection flight from SFO to SEA. I'd post this now, but someone doesn't offer free internet.
Last edited by Cypher0; 2011-01-07 at 01:59 PM.
About what can we talk
You might prefer the MMO Champion IRC channel over the forums if you just want to chat.
You could try drawing or reading instead <:
Fly fast, stay low, hit hard.
- madethisfor1postYou'd think the 8th Anniversary was the Cheese Anniversary to go with all the whine.
Ravenholdt EU - Nice Toons: Frazzlebeard, Menardis, Plight - Less So: Slîght
FYI, paragraphs are your friend.
Now that's a wall of text if i've never seen one!
OT: Why arent you asleep?
(>^^)># This my friend.... Is a Waffle #<(^^<)