Paladin threat & you
*Takes a slow drag from a pipe before looking above the book I am pretending to read. I am wearing my fuzzy bath robe and duck slippers sitting in a high backed chair in front of a fire place*
Ah, hello. I did not see you there in front of my awesomeness. I am a Paladin, and today I am going to teach you about threat, and we as Paladins handle things like vengeance, aggro, and taunt swapping. So sit back, relax, and enjoy - Hello, I am Awesome because I am a Paladin
Chapter 1. Vengeance, Aggro, and You
Vengeance is a funny little thing. See as I get hit I gain a stacking buff of attack power that is equal to a % of my stamina, its quite nice as when this little powder keg gets lit, I can be very angry and mean. When I hit stuff with a full vengeance buff, that stuff seems to melt in half, cleaved by the awesome'ness that is my sword and shield! Yes thats right, as Paladins we dont actually have to think about tanking... we just show up and things just happen. That kids, is because were whats called Overpowered. Yes say it with me again children, this time by its phonetic pronounciation
Very good! You have just learned the first step in being a Paladin. Now strap on that neck brace, its time to face roll furiously along our keyboards, as we learn about single target and multi target threat.
Chapter 2. Single target threat, and your face
*Straps neck brace on tightly, and takes another long drawn out puff from a pipe*
Ah yes, now that we have successfully prepared ourselves for Single target tanking, we can move along. Ok are you ready to pull that boss/mob and get threat?
See its done!
Wondering what happened exactly? Paladins are capable of merely looking at an enemy, getting inside its brain, and causing insane amounts of threat.... JUST BY BEING AWESOME!!!! Thats right, those other tanks need those "stats" like vengenace, rage, and silly mangle spamming to be able to tank efficiently. We just merely LOOK at things and drive them to a point of drooling insanity.
Lets say were tanking with our smaller, under priviliged tanking brothers the Warrior, and were doing a tank swap. The warrior thinks he "taunts" and "unloads threat", when in reality all I do is tell the mob I am tanking
"Its ok, go after him" and the mob listens gleefully.
Very good everyone, you have just learned how to sufficiently tank as a Paladin against a single target. Now lets put on that jock strap, as were going to be in for a wild ride as we learn to AoE tank!
Chapter 3; Multi-mob Tanking aka AoE Tanking
*Tightens jock strap, adjusts massive balls and takes another slow drag from a freshly packed pipe*
Ah welcome back! I was not too concerned you would come back, afterall... I sparkle with awesomeness. So what exactly is AoE tanking as a Paladin? The answer is quite simple, its why we put on this jock strap. We ride!
Hammer of Wrath after landing on its initial target shoots out waves of Barry Manilow music that coerces all bad guys to get in the "bend over" position to take it from me. We all know monsters in the World of Warcraft cannot resist the supple, soothing, and alluring charm of the Great White Shark, and we use this to our advantage. Every 8 seconds we just radiate with this soothing seductive music.
Usually it sounds like this (to the tune of Oh Mandy)
oh bad guys in Warcraft
Well you came and you aggro'ed without taking
but I sent you away, oh bad guys
well you gave me vengeance and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh bad guys
You came and you gave me LOL's without taking
but I sent you away, oh bad guys
You cant resist Barry Manillow and cant control your shaking
And I need you
Oh bad guys won't you listen to what I've got to say
Oh bad guys don't you let me throw it all away
Oh BADDIES IN PVP won't you listen to what I've got to say
and I need you today, oh I am so awesome cause I am a Paladiiiiiinnnnnn
Chapter 4; Conclusion
*Draws from pipe again, puts back on fuzzy bath robe and duck slippers and settles back in by the fire place*
I am glad you stopped by today, and I hope I was able to enlighten you as to how awesome I am. And remember kids, any problems with tanking can be solved with Barry Manillow aka the Great White Shark, unless your a warrior, druid, or death knight in which case your screwed.
I wrote this thread on our guild forums in response to another friend of mine writing out a very elaborate "How 2: Warrior" guide. I am waiting for him to wake up and read it later and LOL as hard as I did while writing it. Before anyone flames, I do play a Prot Paladin as mainspec, and am an avid Barry Manillow fan.