The worse thing that could happen before you get Diablo 3

[Deleted]

You go to the store to preorder the game a week before release, the store person leans over and asks if you want one early. Of course, you can't deny the opportunity and you desperately say yes. He leads you to a back room where you see a stack of boxes each packed full of diablo 3. Then just as your heart pumps full of excitement, an arm reaches around your face and holds a cloth to your mouth. The next moment you wake up you're strapped to a bench in a rocky dungeon. But something is wrong, there's guts hanging off hooks on the roof and you're surrounded by bowls with organs in them. Then as you follow the tubes you notice they're from you're own body and still connected and pumping. The store person appears from the darkness in front and proceeds to place your organs back into your body and finally he puts diablo 3 in you and stitches you back up. Then you wake up in africa in a tribe and you were just one of the witch doctors and had the experience of another humans tortured soul. You were never that tortured teenager who longed for diablo 3. You always lived in some sand country in maximum poverty. And you have aids

Now, Share your thoughts about the worst thing that could happen

Cheers.

[Telaso]

You need help bro.....

[souplix]

Paper cut when opening the box, that would REALLY sting.

[r3nd]

You need help bro.....

lol. weird people up in this forum.

[Martyn 470]

witch doctors can cure aids
id cure myself with my magical spells
cleanse the rest of africa
go to america, hex metzen, headbutt kotick, give kotick aids
tell him he has to pay me "insert some amount of money" to cleanse him of his disease
cleanse his greedyness.
sit in koticks house with my gold teeth and diamond tipped cane while smoking elementium tipped cigarettes.

[Blackcompany]

worst thing that could happen...

WoW gets more boring?

[Vortakai]

It's even more lame than cata?

[Deleted]

I'll continue.

So your this boy in hospital whos just been OKed to leave and you've been waiting for diablo 3 since it was announced. Instantly you go to the store to buy d3. As you get home to install it, the excitement is overwhelming and you pass out. Turns out you were that guy who went to preorder d3 and had d3 sowed into your stomach. You didn't remember because the witch doc took over your bod. You spend the rest of your life in the hospital connected to a life machine. You can't move your body, eyes or even sleep. But you can see the ceiling. Then society collapses and somehow you are forgotten and somehow you live forever hooked up to that machine that never fails and you live forever staring at the ceiling without d3

[Martyn 470]

id totally learn how to sing, you didnt say i couldnt move my mouth.
id make millions sitting in a hospital bed singing random songs while society collapses around me
id then realise, ive only got diablo stuck in me, id sing so much i puked out the game, therefore un paralyzing me
id then do the safety dance
then find the nearest pc and play the recently barfed out diablo 3.

[Deleted]

Okay. I got another one.

On the way to the midnight release you get hit by a car and lose your ability to walk. The car drives away and you crawl all the way to the store, a man in front of the store steals your wallet, but then you remember you already payed in full when preordering so you continue on.

You get to the desk and the man tells you need the receipt, which you realize in your wallet. Disheartened you curl in a ball and start crying, a man feels your plight and gives you his copy of the game free of charge, saying that he wasn't going to be able to play it for weeks anyway and he drives you home.

You get to your laptop and you install the game at once.....

It is fulling installed you click to play....
A bright yellow colored background appears on your screen, a clown appear, and confetti shoots from the sides...
In the center reads the message....
"April fools, development stopped 2 years ago"

...and then your computer explodes.


Damn.. I fell lonly in this thread.

[mordale]

ok i may have voices in my head, but your just straight up fucked in the head.

[Glwys]

You buy the game, get it installed, go to click PLAY, and all technology in the world fails at that exact moment.

[Driizzt]

I get my copy and get home, and goto the MMO forums and realize that this guy hasn't been banned yet.

[Deleted]

My last one


D3 is to be released in 2012, you wonder which would come first, the end of the world or the day you actually get your hands on this software. You have no worries, you have a bunker and it is secured for anything from an asteroid hit to a nuclear war. Of course you pre-order, but you even hedge that by having a buddy inside Blizzard who will tell exactly when you can download and install the game before anybody else. You are primed. On the appointed day, your super fast internet connection shows your download at 79 percent and your mouth waters at the thought that in mere moments that you will finally have this game....

Then a powerful Coronal Mass Ejection from the sun hits the West Coast of the United States and fries every server in Blizzard and almost all of the internet servers as well. Your bunker was protected from such a thing but you look down and see that the download died at 98 percent! Your computer blankly stares at you and asks if you want to retry. Another CME hits and the entire power grid is fried and all of the power of the whole United States (and Canada) dies! For the rest of the day, the sun systematically destroys the internet and all forms of power transmission available. The end of the world has begun and the post office is not delivering any more mail. With no computers or internet, the store wont release a thing, not that they took delivery anyway. No one knows where the Diablo III disks are in the distribution network. The US govt proclaims a state of emergency and is under martial law.

...and all that is stopping you from playing this game is a lousy 2 percent.

[teh_anarchist]

Worst thing that could happen? Rape.

[noteworthynerd]

What the I don't even know...

[georgevonfranken]

A emp goes off destroying my computer

[Daymanmb]

LOL thanks mate! I love you imagination. Hints of R.L. Stine rated M. Good laugh.

[Deleted]

Bonus.


You pre-ordered Diablo 3 from a Gamestop in your local mall. A few days before the release you get a call from a nervous sounding Gamestop employee that says that the Gamestop in the mall won't be open for the midnight release event and that you will have to go to another Gamestop store a few miles out of town in an area you are not very familiar with.

At the midnight release, you arrive at the Gamestop to find that there is a very long line. The line wraps around the Gamestop building and a little past a white non-descript warehouse with one set of double doors wide open with impenetrable light inside. while waiting in line looking at your receipt a gust of wind seizes it and proceeds to be sucked into the open double doors of the warehouse. You cautiously go in after it and find yourself in a large room with a lot of fancy machinery and a platform with your receipt resting on it. You quickly maneuver through some machinery and manage to bump into some sort of control panel on your way to the platform. While on this platform picking up your receipt you notice a a sign that says "Quantum Leap Accelerator" but right when you realize what it means a thick vapor belows out from the platform and bolts of electricity cover your body and you vanish.

You awake to find yourself trapped in the past. facing mirror images that were not your own. Driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. Your only guide in your journey is Al, an observer from your own time who appears as a hologram that only you can see and hear. So you find yourself leaping from life to life. Striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping that each time that your next leap will be the leap home

[philefluxx]

You open up your copy of D3 only to find it replaced with another copy of Cataclysm?