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  1. #1

    Rap of the Lich King (NSFW)

    ARTHAS: Yo, this is Arthas Menethil. I used to have the world's shittiest job, sitting on a giant ice-cube. The Frozen Throne may look glamorous, but my nutsack always got stuck to that thing, and peeling it off hurt like a bitch. Anyway, now a new guy has my old job, and I have a lot more time to work on my hip hop career.

    So tonight, we've got Nubby B, Traitor King of the Spiders laying down a beat for us, and we gonna straight blow this bitch up.

    Lemme hear y'all!

    Yeah!

    Onyxia's tough; that girl won't stay dead.
    She don't give a fuck if you cut off her head.
    Next fuckin' Tuesday, she'll be right back there,
    But lately she looks a bit worse for the wear.
    She's got bones sticking out; she's got guts flapping free.
    I don't think she'll make it into phase 3.

    Shout out to the Dwarfs, dicking around in Ironforge!

    Yo, what up, Magni? I heard your daughter’s a slut.
    That’s what Thaurissan told me ‘fore he busted his nut.
    Bitch ain’t got self-respect, that bitch ain’t got no class,
    He took her down to BRD and then he tapped that ass.
    Now Moira’s sporting the bump, unless my lich eyes fail.
    We’ll toast the new prince of Dwarves with Dark Iron Ale.

    We've got a guest here tonight, y'all! Give it up for Ozruk!

    OZRUK: Chillin' in the Stonecore,
    Make a call to my whore
    I'm like "Ain't you gonna blow me?
    What do I keep you around for?"
    She says "Ozruk, I've got my self-worth!"
    I go: "BITCH, FEEL THE STRENGTH OF THE EARTH!"
    She's like: "I ain't gotta be treated that way."
    I tell her to fuck off, and she goes: "Okay."
    Now I'm alone for the night, and hard as a rock,
    I'm lookin' for a lady to freak on my jock
    So I'm going to party,
    Gonna grind on a hottie.
    Gonna find me the kind of girl who likes getting naughty.
    So if you're down to freak,
    Girl, we need to speak.
    Come break yourself upon my body.

    ARTHAS: Give it up for Ozruk, yo!

    This is goin' out to the Forsaken:

    Sylvanas once was a high elf, or some kind of fairy.
    That bitch screamed real good when I was bustin’ her cherry.
    She says she’s the Forsaken, ‘cause she misses my nuts.
    But I caught the Black Arrow when I went up in her guts.
    Keep trustin’ them Dreadlords, that’s the smart way to go.
    Undead, stop getting’ led by an elf bitch gone emo.

    Cairne Bloodhoof is all kinds of dead,
    Cause Garrosh stuck a motherfucking axe in his head.
    That's how shit gets settled in the Horde
    Cause a pinhead-retard is their new overlord.
    Ever since Thrall ditched them, Horde have started to slip.
    Garrosh's foreign policy is GET OFF MY SHIP!
    Whatever they're doing, it ain't gonna work.
    They swapped a wimpy warchief for a mean, stupid jerk.

    Yo, so I met this dude in the dungeon finder.
    He was way too dumb not to stand in the fire.
    DPS was so low; he just had to go.
    Hit the vote kick button, and what do you know?
    Get another motherfucker, and he's even worse.
    His gear's green and ungemmed
    Dungeon finder's a curse.
    I hammer the boot, and then I gotta frown
    Fuckin' vote-kick now has a two-hour cooldown.

    This last one's for an old girlfriend.

    Jaina Proudmoore, outta Theramore,
    She don’t like me now, but I fucked that whore.
    Girl, I know Thrall can’t dick you the way that you like.
    He’s got a little green ween; I got this massive spike.
    You said my culling in Stratholme was making you sick.
    But you said something else when you were up on my dick.
    Last edited by Crawford; 2011-02-25 at 11:09 PM.
    Author of DON'T EVER GET OLD , Nominated for the Edgar, Anthony and Thriller awards for Best First Novel.
    My Blog: http://danieljfriedman.blogspot.com
    My Warcraft/Gaming Blog: http://biggerthankologarn.blogspot.com
    My Twitter: http://twitter.com/DanFriedman81

  2. #2
    Dead people can't rap.

  3. #3
    This is brilliant! Incoming massive thread of praise!
    Quote Originally Posted by chad3d
    PuG's are basically a band of mercenaries looking after their own.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeleh
    Oh an also one that has bugged me ever since i started playing wow - DING it makes no logical sense, the sound sis not ding, the animation is not ding, you did not ding in anyway shape or form apart from your mind.
    Just wait for Tirion Fordring to come back from ICC singing "I got 99 problems but a Lich ain't one"

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by eskibear View Post
    Dead people can't rap.
    Tupac can.

  5. #5
    Stood in the Fire Tauroon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Stockholm, Sweden
    Posts
    492
    Sapped girls can't say no, dead people can't rap.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Fazdran View Post
    Tupac can.
    And you are sure he's dead 100%.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Fazdran View Post
    Tupac can.
    Couldn't while he was alive.

  8. #8
    Herald of the Titans Agallochh's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Sacramento
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    2,865
    Honestly I think ICP can write better raps than this. :/
    90 Orc Warrior - Ganglion | 90 Draenei Hunter - Fleshgrind

  9. #9
    Oh, I want to play!

    I write video game rhymes like an obscene Dr. Seuss,
    Shit mother fucker it's 4, time for juice.
    By juice I mean apple, because I'm ten years old,
    NUT SACK ICE CUBE FROZEN THRONE COLD

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Kaleid View Post
    Couldn't while he was alive.
    lol'd.
    Bad lyrics, generic like 100% of rap songs.

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Kaleid View Post
    Couldn't while he was alive.
    Burned. LOL.
    Last edited by jobdone; 2011-02-25 at 11:10 PM.

  12. #12
    Just wait for Tirion Fordring to come back from ICC singing "I got 99 problems but a Lich ain't one".

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Fazdran View Post
    Tupac can.
    This was a good post!
    +1

  14. #14
    It's hard for me to know if I like it without actually hearing the beat in which it it was intended to be sung to.

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Underskilled View Post
    Just wait for Tirion Fordring to come back from ICC singing "I got 99 problems but a Lich ain't one".
    thats going in my sig
    Quote Originally Posted by chad3d
    PuG's are basically a band of mercenaries looking after their own.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeleh
    Oh an also one that has bugged me ever since i started playing wow - DING it makes no logical sense, the sound sis not ding, the animation is not ding, you did not ding in anyway shape or form apart from your mind.
    Just wait for Tirion Fordring to come back from ICC singing "I got 99 problems but a Lich ain't one"

  16. #16

  17. #17
    Brewmaster imtehrogue's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Norway
    Posts
    1,370
    Epic!

    +10 letters

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Bourgeois View Post
    Oh, I want to play!

    I write video game rhymes like an obscene Dr. Seuss,
    Shit mother fucker it's 4, time for juice.
    By juice I mean apple, because I'm ten years old,
    NUT SACK ICE CUBE FROZEN THRONE COLD
    +20 pie slices

  19. #19
    haha got me at "Yo, what up, Magni? I heard your daughter’s a slut."

  20. #20
    Great job OP you made my day.

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