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  1. #21
    My wife's a bit like Pinocchio. Every time she tells me lies, her nose swells up.



    [disclaimer]Its a joke, i do not endorse nor have ever commited domestic abuse!

  2. #22
    as is...

    what do you call a woman with 2 black eyes??
    nothing she hasn't been twice already

  3. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by dezzagod View Post
    as is...

    what do you call a woman with 2 black eyes??
    nothing she hasn't been twice already
    wtfamireading.jpg

  4. #24
    The Patient Roscoe's Avatar
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    Alright so I walk in to my friends house SOAKING WET. I mean it was just pouring down raining outside. So I walk in. Friend goes.. "raining outside?". I'm like NOPE, just walking my fish.

    Heres your sign.

  5. #25
    I used to have a fear of hurdles. Now I'm over it.

    Never read a pop-up book about giraffes.

    I don't like Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.

    What's ET short for? Because he only has little legs.

  6. #26
    LOAD"*",8,1 Fuzzzie's Avatar
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    Keep the racist and sexual jokes out of the thread. Check the forum guidelines for what's appropriate.

  7. #27
    Pandaren Monk Twilightdawn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzzie View Post
    Keep the racist and sexual jokes out of the thread. Check the forum guidelines for what's appropriate.
    Thanks Fuzz, wasn't going to put any of them in the original post, but a mod helps a lot
    Added some more to the original

  8. #28
    Bloodsail Admiral Syntic's Avatar
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    A little girl ran into her house, holding a £10 note. Her mum asked "Where did you get that?" and she replied "Little Billy next door said he would give me it if I did a cartwheel whilst he sat in a tree". Her mum responded "Don't do that again, he just wants to see your panties".

    The next day, she runs into her house, holding a £20 note. Her mum yet again asked "Where did you get that?" and she replied "Little Billy next door said he would give me it if I did a cartwheel whilst he sat in a tree". She responded "Didn't I tell you he just wanted to see your panties?". The little girl said "Yes, but I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today."

    Not that great, I know

    Edit: Just read Fuzzzie's post. Not sure if this would classify as too sexual but please delete this post if it does.
    Last edited by Syntic; 2011-03-07 at 03:03 AM.
    I'd do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done.

  9. #29
    A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water. His wife asks, "What's that for?"

    "It's for your headache."

    "I don't have a headache."

    He replies, "Gotcha!"
    "It's clear this is another bash Apple thread. Such things are not conducive to a good discussion."

    WRONG! Those are the BEST discussions!

  10. #30
    yo momma so fat she cant even jump to a conclusion

    yo momma house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes OUTSIDE

    i got more ill ad l8r

  11. #31
    Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

    He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

    He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

    "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
    Deja Moo - The feeling you've heard this bullshit before.
    It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then its fun and games but you can't see.

  12. #32
    LOAD"*",8,1 Fuzzzie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shailiha View Post
    Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

    He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

    He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

    "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
    I get it! You tried to make a point....

    /facepalm

  13. #33
    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzzie View Post
    I get it! You tried to make a point....

    /facepalm
    No I didn't... it's one of the best jokes ever. It was even voted the best religious joke of the decade. <3 Emo Philips
    Deja Moo - The feeling you've heard this bullshit before.
    It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then its fun and games but you can't see.

  14. #34
    Quote Originally Posted by Youarefired View Post
    A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water. His wife asks, "What's that for?"

    "It's for your headache."

    "I don't have a headache."

    He replies, "Gotcha!"
    In case you missed it... because this one is too good to miss.
    "It's clear this is another bash Apple thread. Such things are not conducive to a good discussion."

    WRONG! Those are the BEST discussions!

  15. #35
    Pandaren Monk Twilightdawn's Avatar
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    Good stuff so far guys, keep it coming

    Why did the chicken cross the playground
    To get to the other slide..
    Ahaha.. get it.. get it?
    * sadface*

  16. #36
    What kind of cheese is not yours?
    Nacho cheese.

    Thank you, I'll be here all week.

  17. #37
    It's hard to read the jokes when you color them like that Just bold or underline them

  18. #38
    How much coke did Charlie Sheen take?

    Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

  19. #39
    Grunt
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    Your mother is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

    Your mother is so fat, last time she had a rectal exam they found Bin Laden.

    ... can't think of any more good ones right now

  20. #40
    The Patient
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    How do you keep idiots in suspense?

    ---------- Post added 2011-03-10 at 01:06 PM ----------

    I'll tell you tomorrow...

    ---------- Post added 2011-03-10 at 01:07 PM ----------

    Why did the pervert cross the road?

    Because he was stuck to the chicken.

    ---------- Post added 2011-03-10 at 01:08 PM ----------

    What book do developers learn to read from?

    See Dot, See Dot Run.
    Last edited by Thorfisnson; 2011-03-10 at 01:09 PM.

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