How loyal are you to your lover?

[eternalwhitemoon]

Imo, if someone hasn't cheated on his or her loved one, it's because he hasn't been put into a difficult situation yet.

You have a somewhat cynical view of things, and I do not agree in the slightest with your viewpoint, but hey it's a free country (depending on where you actually are :P). Some people choose to take a difficult situation and do the RIGHT thing, like a) mend it, or b) leave. Not everyone thinks cheating is the answer.

Personally, I've been in a situation where there was another girl involved, and SHE said they were married, and HE said she was a crazy ex, and she was stalking me and leaving threatening messages. I left. I cared deeply about the guy, but it wasn't worth it. Cheating wasn't the answer.

[Whister]

2 true things:

1. Men are cheating faster then Women
2. Women are cheating more then Men

2 true facts

[Solfire]

That's horrible..

[Orodoth]

Im a former U.S Airman. Ive been out for almost a year and a half. Met this girl in September of 2010. Dated. Talked her into joining the Navy. We talked about getting married in January during her leave. I bought rings and everything. She broke up with me the day after her graduation.

I guess to some people commitment is hard. And appearently a few guys wanted her nuts in basic as well. I don't know any more about that but hopefully she isn't jumping on the whore wagon at A-school lol. If so, I hope she catches something.

I know what it was like to go through basic and what not. Being away from your partner sucks. But then I got to be on the other side of the grass and watch somebody else go through it. Lifes a kick in the twat.

/end rant

Its best to never think about what I put in bold, ever again. We both know the answer to that.

[Contion_BB]

I am so frustrated over how people always associate Sex with Love.

First off... you can have a perfectly healthy relationship with someone, Love them, and NEVER have sex with them.

Secondly... Sex is for one of two things.... procreation, recreation. (please no bible quoting here cause I can quote back just as fast)

Thirdly... Sex is sex... its a MOMENTS pleasure that last for a short time... and GONE.... Love last forever.

I grew up in a sexual energetic environment. My Grandparents (aged 65 at the time) still slept in the same bed and still had sex multiple times a week. My Mother and her Boyfriends... her many many many boyfriends.... Married 4 times, 3 of which were ended because of jail/prison/domestic violence. Any questions I had pertaining to sex were answered out right and void of deception. I was shown my first porno when I was 8, given my first adult magazine when I was 12, and had sex for the first time when I was 14. (before anyone ask YES I am a guy)

I am currently in a relationship with a wonderful man. We meet 12 years ago and have been in an Open Relationship for 11 years. Sex with others is allowed but rules are in place that protect both partners. No Kissing others on the Lips, Always use Protection, Never have sex in OUR house, and always inform the other partner about any sexual activities one may have participated in. I can count on my hands the amount of additional partners I have been with since being in this relationship. It is understood that ONE person will not be able to meet all of the others desires all the time.

What keeps us together is that at the end of the day, when everything is said and done. I come home to him, I love him. He loves me. What more does there need to be.

[MintJam]

I don't think today's culture can really appreciate marriage.

I've been in several relationships, all of which I took seriously. I'm the kind of guy who's 100% loyal and dedicated to the person I love. I don't see why you'd get into a relationship if you aren't going to be loyal with them. Sure, at some point you might find out that you aren't as compatible as you thought, that's why breakups exist. That doesn't give you the right to cheat on someone.

I've been cheated on before, and it's pretty horrible. Some people don't understand what they really have until they lose it, and by then it's already too late. A mistake some make is taking someone who cheated on them. From my experience and from what I've seen, once a cheater, always a cheater. There's exceptions to that, but it's so rare.

I've had tons of chances to cheat, and I never ever do. Temptation doesn't mean anything compared to my loyalty. I guess I just have tunnel vision. ;3

[Orodoth]

I am so frustrated over how people always associate Sex with Love.

First off... you can have a perfectly healthy relationship with someone, Love them, and NEVER have sex with them.

Secondly... Sex is for one of two things.... procreation, recreation. (please no bible quoting here cause I can quote back just as fast)

Thirdly... Sex is sex... its a MOMENTS pleasure that last for a short time... and GONE.... Love last forever.

I grew up in a sexual energetic environment. My Grandparents (aged 65 at the time) still slept in the same bed and still had sex multiple times a week. My Mother and her Boyfriends... her many many many boyfriends.... Married 4 times, 3 of which were ended because of jail/prison/domestic violence. Any questions I had pertaining to sex were answered out right and void of deception. I was shown my first porno when I was 8, given my first adult magazine when I was 12, and had sex for the first time when I was 14. (before anyone ask YES I am a guy)

I am currently in a relationship with a wonderful man. We meet 12 years ago and have been in an Open Relationship for 11 years. Sex with others is allowed but rules are in place that protect both partners. No Kissing others on the Lips, Always use Protection, Never have sex in OUR house, and always inform the other partner about any sexual activities one may have participated in. I can count on my hands the amount of additional partners I have been with since being in this relationship. It is understood that ONE person will not be able to meet all of the others desires all the time.

What keeps us together is that at the end of the day, when everything is said and done. I come home to him, I love him. He loves me. What more does there need to be.

whether your in an open relationship, or monogamy is your thing, for a guy, there is only one thing to remember.

~The lower brain on your anatomy can do all the thinking it wants... the trick, is when not to listen to it.~

good on ya for finding a happy medium Contion.

[Lysah]

I've had tons of chances to cheat, and I never ever do. Temptation doesn't mean anything compared to my loyalty. I guess I just have tunnel vision. ;3

I totally agree. I've had the opportunity, but I couldn't do it, I felt completely horrible. I'm still disgusted with myself that I actually considered it for a while.

[Calon]

A man, or woman worth their salt will always be loyal to their partner. Those who lie and deceive are simply the bad apples, ones with no character, respect, or dignity for either themselves or their spouse. Not all relationships are like this, a growing number are in today's society, but there are still a vast number that are not so shallow. True love is built upon an unshakable foundation, one where such betray would never fester.

[Contion_BB]

Sex != Loyal....

loy·al·ty
   /ˈlɔɪəlti/ Show Spelled[loi-uhl-tee] Show IPA
–noun, plural -ties.
1.
the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations.
2.
faithful adherence to a sovereign, government, leader, cause, etc.
3.
an example or instance of faithfulness, adherence, or the like: a man with fierce loyalties.

No where does it say that Sex means Loyalty...


To Love, and Cherish - (laymans terms) To Care for, and care for tenderly

When speaking in terms of Loyal and Faithful... it is to the vows made....

NO WHERE in the vows does it say or pertain anywhere to sex.

Again Associating Love and Sex... is ALWAYS where marriages are doomed to fail...

So Women REFUSE to do a mans desires... and Men are just as guilty.

If you refuse to even humor the thought of their desires... then you void your right to be pissed when they find someone who will.

[Rhaide]

I am so frustrated over how people always associate Sex with Love.

First off... you can have a perfectly healthy relationship with someone, Love them, and NEVER have sex with them.

Secondly... Sex is for one of two things.... procreation, recreation. (please no bible quoting here cause I can quote back just as fast)

Thirdly... Sex is sex... its a MOMENTS pleasure that last for a short time... and GONE.... Love last forever.

I grew up in a sexual energetic environment. My Grandparents (aged 65 at the time) still slept in the same bed and still had sex multiple times a week. My Mother and her Boyfriends... her many many many boyfriends.... Married 4 times, 3 of which were ended because of jail/prison/domestic violence. Any questions I had pertaining to sex were answered out right and void of deception. I was shown my first porno when I was 8, given my first adult magazine when I was 12, and had sex for the first time when I was 14. (before anyone ask YES I am a guy)

I am currently in a relationship with a wonderful man. We meet 12 years ago and have been in an Open Relationship for 11 years. Sex with others is allowed but rules are in place that protect both partners. No Kissing others on the Lips, Always use Protection, Never have sex in OUR house, and always inform the other partner about any sexual activities one may have participated in. I can count on my hands the amount of additional partners I have been with since being in this relationship. It is understood that ONE person will not be able to meet all of the others desires all the time.

What keeps us together is that at the end of the day, when everything is said and done. I come home to him, I love him. He loves me. What more does there need to be.

I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with you completely. Lets look at the facts you laid out

1) Sex is fleeting
2) Love is lasting
3) People have needs

You are missing one fundamental point here. One of a persons most basic needs is to feel special. Whether you 'come home to your significant other at the end of the day' is often inconsequential. While it may work for you, it doesn't work for 99.99999% of people (hyperbole obviously). As soon as something gets awkward or uncomfortable (like it often does when sex is involved), someone gets hurt. So basically you are choosing a series of short bursts of happiness (sex is fleeting) with the possible consequence of ruining a meaningful relationship (love is lasting) because you might hurt your significant other by sharing yourself with others. Remember, even if you can convince yourself now that if your significant other comes home and that's all that's important, you're still human, and that feeling can change. Just because something works for you right now doesn't mean it always will, and it only takes ONE time to ruin a good thing.

Lastly, and I honestly mean you no offense sir. It sounds like you grew up in a very broken home, and because of that, I don't really think your view is a 'relatable' view. You grew up conditioned a certain way and because of that, your idea of what 'love' is is different than others who had a more conventional upbringing. I am in no way insinuating homosexuality is good or bad, that is a different argument and has no place in this one, I am insinuating that based on your parents treatment of you and irresponsible parenting, you may have grown up somewhat emotionally stunted, which would explain your lack of desire for devoted affection. You must realize most people aren't like that.

Again, I mean you no ill will, it's difficult to make that point without sounding mean, I did my best to sound reasonable and fair, but I couldn't 'nice it up' and more than that.

[Deleted]

Wow, people are deluded. The Arab guy made me laugh, any country that kills you for rejecting their religion are ignorant morons and deserve a good old revolution.

OT. The silly girls saying "SEX DOESN'T MATTER!" need to grow up. An intimate relationship is based on sex, else it would simply be a friendship. Physical contact of a sexual nature is what separates the two.

I'm in a relationship for the past 3 years now and quite honestly the sex is still mind bending, mainly because I endeavour to make each time better than the last. Not only physically but emotionally, the togetherness is important. Oh and yes, I am a guy but I'm most likely the less sexually motivated one in my relationship.

I honestly find it highly amusing that people are also obsessed with this notion of "open relationships", it's a silly nihilistic approach to love and sexual gratification popularized by alternative thinking that leads to problems later on. Try having children in an "open relationship" and see how happy and balanced they turn out to be.

I equate the success of relationships to intelligence. I'm quite intelligent, not boasting, simply tested and trialled myself many times both internally and externally. My partner is annoyingly clever, all sorts of awards from our University of choice. If we've any issues we don't avoid them, we don't act like immature brats and fight like pigs in the mud like the majority of these relationships where one partner cheats/abuses/leaves.

Surprising the anti dating stance, I take my girl out once a week minimum, we usually have dinner at a nice little place followed by a show, whether it be the theater (Oscar Wilde, lord god you put her in the mood), movie or sometimes a nighttime walk. Shared experience creates a common talking ground, something you both attended and give each others views on whilst fondly remembering a good time. In long distance relationships this doesn't exist, I share that pain. My girl leaves for Germany for around 2/3 months a year to visits relatives but we keep it going through shared experience, for example watching a TV series together. Last summer we watched Farscape together and it was wonderful! I used to get so anxious for the next episode I'd wish time faster so I could ring her and get down to watching it, then we'd talk, tell each other how much we love/miss/want to screw like......woops.

Bottom line; Get smart, date smart and please stfu.

[pibacc]

I've been 100% faithful to my girlfriend, good ol' left hand.

[Rhaide]

Sex != Loyal....



No where does it say that Sex means Loyalty...


To Love, and Cherish - (laymans terms) To Care for, and care for tenderly

When speaking in terms of Loyal and Faithful... it is to the vows made....

NO WHERE in the vows does it say or pertain anywhere to sex.

Again Associating Love and Sex... is ALWAYS where marriages are doomed to fail...

So Women REFUSE to do a mans desires... and Men are just as guilty.

If you refuse to even humor the thought of their desires... then you void your right to be pissed when they find someone who will.

Loyalty also isn't defined as being with one person but also being with others so long as:

No Kissing others on the Lips, Always use Protection, Never have sex in OUR house, and always inform the other partner about any sexual activities one may have participated in.

Obviously because you set these rules, you DO place some degree of importance on physical contact. You're simply setting limits on how much physical contact is reserved for your significant other, and everyone's opinion of where that line is is going to be different.

[Aster]

Im a former U.S Airman. Ive been out for almost a year and a half. Met this girl in September of 2010. Dated. Talked her into joining the Navy. We talked about getting married in January during her leave. I bought rings and everything. She broke up with me the day after her graduation.

I guess to some people commitment is hard. And appearently a few guys wanted her nuts in basic as well. I don't know any more about that but hopefully she isn't jumping on the whore wagon at A-school lol. If so, I hope she catches something.

I know what it was like to go through basic and what not. Being away from your partner sucks. But then I got to be on the other side of the grass and watch somebody else go through it. Lifes a kick in the twat.

/end rant

Dude.

Did you just say you were making plans to marry a girl 4 months after you two MET?
Here's a piece of advice for the future: Don't try to do it ever again. Doesn't matter how much of a connection you think you two had, in 4 months you barely know each other, period. You might be okay with it, but she was probably scared to hell about it and called it quits before marrying someone that soon.

[accipeter]

I never said they didn't, both men and women do, just men are more known for it. Either way, saying someone isn't 100% loyal because they had the chance to cheat and didn't is stupid... like they should never have been out alone or something.

Sounds like we're agreed, then :-)

[Lightfist]

Not very. Sometimes, I go right instead.

[Rhaide]

Dude.

Did you just say you were making plans to marry a girl 4 months after you two MET?
Here's a piece of advice for the future: Don't try to do it ever again. Doesn't matter how much of a connection you think you two had, in 4 months you barely know each other, period. You might be okay with it, but she was probably scared to hell about it and called it quits before marrying someone that soon.

While I feel for Holyshnikies and wish him the best, I have to agree. You can't truly know if someone is right for you based on such a short time no matter how deep of a connection you think you have. Remember, you are the least logical during the beginning stages of a relationship, and you grow more logical and develop a deeper understanding of the other person and any compatibility issues between you as time goes on. However, I do understand the type of girl Holy is talking about. She was 100% in on the relationship and was happy with him and then did a 180 and left him high and dry. This doesn't make her an evil person, it makes her very immature. Someone who just does what feels good at the time with little understanding for how things may change in the future. She will either learn her lesson or... she will find continued success using men for pleasure and leaving them before they tire of her and turn into an emotional narcissist. For her sake as well as the men she comes across, I hope it's the former.

---------- Post added 2011-03-06 at 11:50 PM ----------

Sounds like we're agreed, then :-)

You can add me to that list too. Temptation doesn't equal lack of loyalty, if anything, overcoming temptation proves loyalty more than if one were never tempted.

How can you measure the sharpness of a sword without testing it against a stone that could dull it's edge?
How can you measure the loyalty of a man without testing him against temptation that could taint his devotion?

[Wynnyelle]

I definitely wouldn't want to mess up my relationship with my boyfriend. I don't see how anybody could betray somebody they love like that unless they truly didn't love them, in which case, it's probably best that they aren't together anyway. =/

[msdos]

look at Americans these days. people don't even spank their kids anymore. a lot of parents practically let their children run rampant and get away with a lot.
don't even get me started on the upper class. they're handed things, feel entitled and take and consume as they please. the people this society manufactures are severely lacking in discipline.

everyone wants more, bigger and excess. it's truly a generation that has thrown the idea of moderation or discipline straight out the window. you can't have loyalty without discipline. the only real disciplined people you see are in the professional setting, military or some kind of police officer.
yes, people want to indulge every now and then, but shouldn't there be boundaries you shouldn't cross?

buy a dildo for christ sakes. use your hand, get a fleshlight. it's even more ridiculous when you realize theres other alternatives.

people who cheat? soulless. no values, no discipline, no temperament.