My life [Wall of Text alert]

[Blueeagle]

Let me just start by saying this is about some stuff in my life, kinda a vent, kinda for feedback from others, and kinda just because i cant sit still personally. For everyone that feels the need to post things against it, thanks for wasting time. For those that actually read it all and respond, thanks in advance.

Ill just start by saying that i am currently a freshman in college. There is a girl that i have had a crush on since freshman year of highschool, and she has had one back, both of us being on and off. Usually whenever i get over her and try to move on with life something brings me back to liking her again and i just cant help it. I had a nice little chat with her and she asked how i felt about her and i basically told her, and she had mentioned maybe possibly starting a relationship up since we were hanging out over the weekend. After hanging out she decided she just wanted to stay friends, which is understandable, but i just cant help myself to thinking something is wrong. Multiple times have we talked about liking eachother, and about having a relationship, and everytime it gets down to it its just back to being friends. Dont get me wrong, she is an awesome friend, and i wouldnt give that up for anything, but i just want to stop the tug of war on my emotions. I was thinking about talking to her about it, but its a bit late for that right now, and i just cant help myself to think that something is wrong, or im doing something wrong. its been about 5 years of this, and it just keeps repeating itself in a cycle. I dont know why but i just cant get my mind off of her at all, and all i can think about is how much i actually like her. ive tried the whole college thing, and getting away, starting new, but it just isnt what i want. Ive been told that if i really like her and think she is worth it, then the time spent waiting will be worth it..but its just becoming too painful to bare. i cant eat whenever i think about it (nothing serious though) and i feel nauseous. overall, i just dont know what to do....i want to do something about it, but losing her as a friend just wouldnt be what i want. i doubt i would lose her as a friend if i brought it up, but it would be difficult to do, but i plan on it eventually. i probably wont see her in person again until this semester is over for summer break, so the only means of communication would be phone calls, texts, and skype. Sorry if things seem to ramble on, i just kinda typed and let it go.

[Deleted]

nice one...

[Ron Burgundy]

It sounds like everytime you two get close, she gets turned off.

My guess is either you are overweight and/or you have a hygiene problem.

[Twilightdawn]

Well, you have a big limit, that being the barrier of not being able to touch her, ( not meant that way ) , my suggestion is to go on skype and talk normally, when your saying your goodbyes, say something like " Good night i love you " really quick then disconnect, continue to do it and then one day, come out with it, tell her your feelings, either over skype, or if you can wait the 4 months in person, if its in person, see how she reacts, and if she seems to take it well, go in for a kiss, and if she pulls back, your going to A. feel dumb and B. Hate me
Either way, thats just my opinion, as its quite a problem you've got there
P.s. bring us some feedback, i know it sounds like an invasion of privacy but then again, you gave us a complete story of your love-life

[Blueeagle]

@Ron - Not overweight - 165lbs 5'11", try to keep up with my hygiene the best i can (washing my face, shower every day, deodorant, etc)
@Twilight - summer break is about 2 months away, so its not too far, she already says i love you when we say our goodbyes, but we have been friends for so long it doesnt seem abnormal, and id rather do it all in person, but i dont know if im too patient.

[Bitehattori]

@omega- .....excuse me for not understanding? lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eCoEI5pN8E



Personally, I'd ask her "Why do you keep shying away from a relationship? My looks? personality? college? YOU(keeping a secret that stops her from relationships or that she doesnt want people to know)? If there is anything, tell me I will listen and not judge."

tis what i would do.

[Carmakazie]

their is always the greatest option of all

Friends with benefits!

[Blueeagle]

I must say, that video made me laugh a bit.....

I was basically going to sit down and tell her that id like to be her friend, or be in a relationship with her, one of the other, im ok with just being her friend, but its just that i keep getting signals from her that she likes me, (pretty much she tells me so its nothing misread) but i think whats mostly killing me is the back a forth of emotions =\

and carmakazie, i dont think that would work, or quite frankly if i would want that =P just not the kinda person either of us are

[gibbie99]

Okay so you are 19ish and are interested in a girl, but she's in another place. Do i get the gist of it? LDRs suck (long dist relationship). I am separated from my wife for 6 months now. we see each other every two weeks, but it is extremely painful. Before i met her i had 3 serious relationships (2+ years each). Usually for me the relationship ended when one person decided to leave. I tried LDRs for quite a while but it never really worked out. The relationship just kinda fizzles. Which is what is happening with my wife. My advice is forget about her, focus on your career/school, figure out what you want to do. Girls will come and go. Trust me on that. You may think there will be nobody else like them, and youa re right, but every time i ended a relationship, i found someone better. So, my advice is to let her go unfortunately.

[Activi-T]

When you see her at summer break you need to get this sorted once and for all i think as not eating because of thinking of her is,quite frankly, unhealthy both physically and psychologically. Since this has been dragging on for 5 years i would suggest (in as nice a way as possible) saying something along the lines of "We have both said we have feelings for each other and this has been going on for about 5 years now. [find a better way of saying what i am about to say i lack tact :P] We either try and make something of this or i'm going forget you as a pair of pants i want to get into and just think of you as a friend."

Thats my 2 peneth worth anyway.

[Pandush]

Must. resist. urge. to troll.
Obviously you have a thing for her, you can either try and cut the wire, or keep killing yourself slowly...
But... as life taught me.. there is always a way
Or maybe you should try some of Leonard L. Church's wisdom
A great love
Is a lot like a good memory
When its there
And you know its there
But its just out of your reach
It can be all that you think about
And you can focus on it, and try to force it
But the more you do
The more you seem to push it away
But if you're patient
And you hold still
Well, maybe...
Just maybe...
It'll come to you

[Blueeagle]

Our colleges are not too far apart, roughly 2 hours....enough but not too too bad. as for the not eating, it pretty much just went for today, just lost my appetite for the most part, had a little here and there (im pretty against missing meals unless im really sick) and its not even about the whole getting into their pants kinda thing, dont get me wrong relationships are relationships and things happen, but its more on the emotional level of the relationship im focusing on.

@pandush - thx for not trolling, trust me, i see how easy it can be in this situation...haha......now give me a moment to think about the post =P

[Activi-T]

I only really see two options here:

1) Stick to the status quo and see how things play out [I hate that i think of HSM when i hear status quo. Just thought i would share ]:P
OR
2) Tell her what you would like and see what she says

[Makuul]

If you do what Twilight says, you might as well just start punching yourself in the face for the rest of your life and never stop.

She's "confused" about what she wants. That loosely translates to, she likes having you around as a close emotional source, and possibly considering the dating angle, but she also likes having the options to find other guys. That means, she doesn't want you (at least not in the sense that matters to you). If she did, she would've been more adamant about dating you when you talked to her already. The more you sorta kinda hang on, the worse it is. Don't be the guy pining away for a girl that might eventually come around on a very slim chance. If she wants you, she will come. Go find some other girls and a lot of the malaise will evaporate.

Also, you have an enter key, use it more.

[aldar]

i had the same problem except i got flat rejected in this time i learned alot about girls so here goes (DISCLAIMER most girls will deny this as being truthful but it is).

Everything a girl tells you she wants is the opposite of what she really wants, your lady friend dosent want you because she knows she can have you anytime she wants youll melt for her and to add to that she thinks your safe and boring now this may not be true but girls are twisted like this until they get old and fat which is around the age of 40.

So if you really want her heres what you do but its gonna hurt.

Treat how you dont think she should be treated be jaded and kinda mean but with good intentions make her feel like her self worth is on the verge of hitting rock bottom to you at any moment she'll pretend it dosent bother her but it does.at this point you also wanna try and convince her your dangerous and bad for her so youll have to get creative since you sound like a nice guy this will be the toughest but once she thinks your a badass who dosent need her shell swoon for you and die for your attention unless she knows someone handsomer then you in that case youll have to be the center of attention and an even bigger jerk. The downside is that she'll never be in love with the real you at first though over time who knows but just like the saying nice guys finish last so if you want the girl be a dick.

[Blueeagle]

So far I guess the plan for me is basically-

Talk to her about it
Move on

as much as i dont want to move on from it....i just think itll kill me otherwise

[Ducoudray]

No one is worth being strung along for. I've been in the position of having an interest in someone, then once we get close I've not wanted to pursue it any further. It wasn't fair then, and it isn't now to do to you.
Five years? You have the patience of a saint. I think being as far away as you are, use these two months to make new friends, meet new romantic interests and try to move on.
You're very young, and while I know it's a horrible term to hear, there are other fish in the sea. Ones who won't push you away and will love you more than this girl (who I am sure must be lovely) and her fly-by-night interest in you.

[Blueeagle]

@espenbv - just needed a vent, so far im feeling a lot better, im quite an emotional person, all my friends are currently...well...asleep....so i figured ill go to a forum that i commonly browse, get an outsiders opinion/just talk about it...

And Ducoudray, its been 5 years on and off, both of us having relationships in the middle. I probably would have gone insane by now otherwise haha, trust me, i do not have good patience at all. >.<

[gibbie99]

If you do what Twilight says, you might as well just start punching yourself in the face for the rest of your life and never stop.

She's "confused" about what she wants. That loosely translates to, she likes having you around as a close emotional source, and possibly considering the dating angle, but she also likes having the options to find other guys. That means, she doesn't want you (at least not in the sense that matters to you). If she did, she would've been more adamant about dating you when you talked to her already. The more you sorta kinda hang on, the worse it is. Don't be the guy pining away for a girl that might eventually come around on a very slim chance. If she wants you, she will come. Go find some other girls and a lot of the malaise will evaporate.

Also, you have an enter key, use it more.

Yeah this is completely true. Women are interesting creatures, and most of the crap they bring up is the strong desire to reproduce. It all comes down to one thing. She wants a kid that will grow up to be successful. So far you aren't Daddy material (at 19, you are way too young IMO). So, she is just going to screw with you while doing her own thing.

But...i actually know a few people who married their high school sweetheart. But what i have noticed is that if you do that and make your family a focus so early in life (which is coimpletely 100% respectable), your career is going to suffer. Once you have kids you are locked down as far as your job goes, again its the whole stability and making sure your offspring survives thing.

Anyway what i am saying is, even best case scenario, you get married to her, what is that going to do to your career. I mean, where do you see the relationship going, best case? You need to figure out your priorities. If its the girl, then drop out of college and go after her. If its college then its probably not going to work without a ton of effort. Anyways good luck. There are plenty of people out there, just remember.

[Steelyorc]

If you really liked here as you try to describe you wouldn't be on MMO-champion qqing about what NOT / Shouldnt do.

Nice 1st post...you register just so you could rip this poor guy?