Teenage/Youth Pregnancy

[yomyom]

That's because in the last few centuries people weren't expect to live past the age of 40, 30 was already quite old. Nothing to do with education, if people didn't procreate early we'd have been extinct.

I dont think your life expectancy really makes an impact on when people want to have kids. How often do you think about how long you have to live? More often peoples life decisions come when they are forced into a situation to consider it, not some arbitrate measure that people often don't even know about. To many cultures you become an adult (and thus things like family) when you become a contributing member of society, ever expanding education pushing the age in which this happens further and further back. When education stopped at around the start of the teens and you where expected to go to work then, you where forced to consider your life as an adult and therefore things like starting a family. When high school education came to be common this was pushed to the late teens. With tertiary eduction being common it gets pushed into the twenties. Add this to the double income situation we have and families are regularly pushed right back to the 30s. Whist life expectancy was down the 40s, it was not because a 40year old was considered an "old" person, it was that many people died young from disease and accidents which cased the average to be so low.

[gigoop]

I'm really quite shocked at how young everyone seems to think its too late to have kids. Infact with the current population growth trend 30 is the ideal age to have kids as a preventive to overpopulation.

[Deleted]

I'm really quite shocked at how young everyone seems to think its too late to have kids. Infact with the current population growth trend 30 is the ideal age to have kids as a preventive to overpopulation.

Must be missing something obvious here. But isn't havign a kid on 18 or on 30 still 1 person?

[Tennou]

Well, everything above 18 (or 18) is normal, from heallth and stuff point of view. Rest depends on how human feel mentally. My stepfather e.g. had his first child at 18, second at 19. And it actually helped him to be the real man in life (not only by character, by wealth also). So it can be an incentive to start to live for SOMEBODY, and not for yourself.
I, at my 23 y.o., already have a very good paying job, 2 apartements and stuff, but i freaking just can't think about having a baby.
So, in my opinion pregnancy under 18 is not normal. Just not.

[Deleted]

tbh i whend true something like this with my last gf she beaing 17 at the time and me 22 she was pregnant and we only been together for 6 to 7 weeks her choice was full on keeping it while my view was more on having it removed and start with kids till both of us be mid 20s atleast and out of school and have a job ect any way she kept it she broke up with me 3 weeks later i turnd out to not be the father lucky me it seems , still feel sad for her unborn child though as parent you want to give your kid a beter chance at life then ya had your self so i would not have kids still am atleast over 27 ish till early 30's

[Deleted]

Must be missing something obvious here. But isn't havign a kid on 18 or on 30 still 1 person?

That kid will also have kids of his/her own sooner, thus the population rises faster.
...I think that's the point.

[gigoop]

Must be missing something obvious here. But isn't havign a kid on 18 or on 30 still 1 person?

Yes but then that child will also have a child sooner, and his/her child will have another causing a cascading effect which leads to a faster population growth.

[raggoo]

Im 24 and iv got my first child who is just about 10 months old, Its the best thing thats ever happened and i love her with all my heart. Its changed my life alot but i cant still do things that i liked to do before she was born, i can still go out, i can still play computer games i just have to juggle my time around. I dont think it was too early to have a child, when you look at your child, not just glance at her but actually look into her eyes and she sits there and smiles back at you in the most loving way only parents would know then you think it is all worth it, to see this tiny life that you have created that is a part of you and loves and depends on you for everything it gives you satisfaction and your life meaning, that your not just on this earth to drift through life but you have made life and that life shall continue even after you have past away.

Also i wouldnt want to have my first child at 30+ because when the children have sports day and parents have to do the run i wouldnt like to be doing it in a wheelchair lol

First of all congratulations



I am 41, I have a 4 month old boy... my first to a wife who is 36 - and i can tell you its the most amazing, wonderful, fantastic blessing to have ever entered our lives.

* Unleashed - hehehehe, trust me, i will be competing with the 30 year old dads when im 50 in a school race!! - my point being this, everybody is different... i'll still be fit then - and same when 60 (unless a serious illness set in ofc... thats all genes/chance... and can happen to all of us... although older makes more likely ofc)

* What age to have kids - theres no right or wrong age as some have mentioned. What is the most important factor is that the woman (mainly) and hopefully the couple are "ready".

*what is "ready" - mentally, physically (is old enough.... yes 14 the girl is capable... many earlier... but it still affects the body considerably), socialogically (understand themselves... the world around them... know what life they are bringing their newborn into...), financially .... as some have pointed out, not essential to have money... but it bloody well helps!

- my mother had me at 17, 2 more children by 21; she was a single parent until i was 7.... life was tough for her, and us. She was a great mum, did what she could but ill never forget even at 5 her not eating so we could... walking miles and miles here and there as couldnt afford buses etc.
- She always did her best for u, weve all grown up fine and now she has 5 children... 5 grandchildren - - and has even fostered a girl.
- I used to drink, smoke, go clubbing with my mum.... my friends loved her (in fact my ex fiancee is her best friend) - she was a party animal..... she wasnt a great mum from when i was 11+... she stopped making meals, cooking etc... to an extent (no abuse or anything) but microwave meals were the flavour of everyday. She wanted to live her youth - eventually she became a crack addict.... she's been clean for 15 years now (alot more to that story it wasnt just about her losing her youth to children)
- anyway - she's great now, shes won a foster parent award, writing a book... is a great grandma... but she lost her youth - all i would say from this experience, is that imo its better to try and live life a little first, "play the field" experience things.... then have the children and family bit...but this is my view...this was one experience... everyone is different and your cirumstance make a huge difference.

*Have support - it does not matter what age you are when you have children... they can be damned hard work physically (younger benefit here), and mentailly (olders benefit here); but overall nearly everyone will need assistance at times... the little blighters are tiring, and demanding and you cannot help but worry at times when something unusual goes off... support, be it friends, family, community is veyr important.

* about having kids >30; ok, my wife and I - as stated... man i cannot express just how magic it is to have a our boy... loving it. Would i have wanted him sooner in hindsight... hell yes... probably 10 years ago so that i would have another 10 years of life with him... hey whats done is done.
- However what i would say is this... man i have enjoyed my life, so has my beautiful wife... ive "played around" alot (pre the misses) got all that out of the system (misses had a fair time also)... ive enjoyed huge amounts of clubbing, raving, drinking... recreational drugs (sensibly).... weve travelled the world many times... had a 6 week 5* honeymoon ..big wedding blah blah.. house nice car etc....
BUT most of all we have the life skills to be able to make the best and right judgements most of the time for out child

NOW its all about the lad - were totally ready, prepared - hungry to bring him up, pass to him our knowledge, learnings coach him through life and give him the best start we could ever possibly hope for.

(NOTE: neither of us have been financially privaledged... we put ourselves through college/university and pHD for the misses - both have decent jobs through hard work)

Man i could go on for ages... so ill try and wrap up...
In Summary

1) no right or wrong age (but imo <20 will mean you are more than likely to not be as ready, a disadvantage in many ways for the child (and you)
2) >30 is absolutley fine.... but understand the health risks on baby and mother increase significantly after 35... and incrimentally from that point onwards; but your more likely to be prepared in all the other ways which would benefit the child
3) Obviously <16; whilst physically capable... i believe you have made things ver difficult for all.... but kudos to those that have done this.

final thoughs:

Gratz to all those parents....
Hope i havent offended anyone.

Life has changed alot for many in the western world, we live longer, but were bringing children into a complicated world.... this i believe means we need to prepare for this as much as possible.

[Callace]

Reproduction is barbaric. Sterilized pornographic immortality is the way to go.

[Lord Kristivas]

Just curious, did you ever think of aborting the fetus?

I think only the cruelest, most inhumane kind of person does that.

Ugh.

Being 31, I have three kids. 10, 7, and 6. The ten-year old is my Stepson, whom my wife had before she and I met. Even though I was 25 when my son was born, I wasn't exactly in a financially-stable place in life. Still, it happened, we dealt with it. My daughter was a complete accident. My wife was on the birth control patch after having our son. It gave her migraines, so she stopped using it for around two weeks until her doctor appointment, in which she was going to get another type of birth control. Somewhere in that two weeks, our daughter was conceived. Oddest thing, but like I said, it happens. I wouldn't go back and change it.

Now, with three kids, I imagine chances are fair that one of them is going to have a child at a younger age. No matter how much I tell them to finish school first, have a good job, etc. Children love to live in spite of their parents. When and if that day comes, I'm going to help. I'm going to watch the little bugger while my son or daughter goes to school and works. I'm going to buy diapers and baby food when the little bugger's out. I'm not going to babysit while said child goes out with their friends to party, but I'm going to help raise it.

A lot of people don't agree with that kind of thinking. It's in their opinion that, if a kid gets knocked up, they should have to suffer the consequences, and be tossed to the wolves to fend for themselves/their new baby. I don't know, I just don't agree with that. I'm not one of those.. "life is precious. each baby is a gift from god" types, but that'd be my family, my blood. While my own Grandparents helped me out plenty, what kind of person would I be to turn my own kid/grandchild away?

Anyway, to answer the OP

So my question/discussion topic to you: What are you thoughts on Teenage Pregnancy/Having a child at an age of <25y/o? Is the new "norm" of society to have a child at a younger age than previous generations?

Teens, not all, but quite a few, are less-responsible than previous generations. When I was a teen, it was a condom or I'd make sure the girl was on the pill. I knew I couldn't afford a kid. I didn't want a kid. If I'd had one, I would have done the right thing and taken care of it, but I didn't want to be in that position. I knew the only person that could keep me from that was myself.

Has anyone else noticed a lack of that way of thinking from younger people these days? I think this textfromlastnight that I read one day sums it up nicely:

"I can't wait for this baby to gtfo so I can get coked out"

Then, teens head on over to an abortion clinic like it's no big deal. There are girls that are under 18 out there, from families well above the poverty line, that have been scraped more than once. All because they're just irresponsible and leave it to someone else to fix their problems when it comes around. I bet if little miss Paris Hilton wanna-be had to take care of that kid she got knocked up with, or even pay for her own medical shit when she took another trip to the clinic, she would have been more careful. Teen boys are no different. In fact, most of them are worse.

Teen boys look at having sex with girls like a noob plays a Call of Duty game. "Put your head down, run in... spray and pray!" It's terrible.

Don't be abstinent. Don't wait until marriage. Don't sexually repress yourself like a nun. Just be responsible! It's really not hard to L2birthcontrol. Also, masturbate and drink Mt Dew. Lowers your sperm count, I heard.

I realize it's a bit contradictory for me to say I'm willing to help raise my own Grandkid, and that teens should be more responsible. I agree, it's true. On the same hand, it won't be an easy cakewalk for my son or daughter that happens to procreate at a young age. I'm not just letting them dump a baby on me, so that they can go to the mall with their friends, or go see a movie with a new guy/girl. They're luggin' the little fella around when they're not at work/school. They're paying for all the baby shit it needs, at least until they run out of money.

It's just a very sad scenario that I hope I get to avoid, but if not? It's not the end of the world. Shit happens.

TLDR: Teenage pregnancy isn't very good.

[Deleted]

Yes but then that child will also have a child sooner, and his/her child will have another causing a cascading effect which leads to a faster population growth.

I knew it was easy. Must, sleep, more.

[Zygersaf]

I have this really fucked up opinon that I dont realy tell people that much...
I think people over 30 shouldnt get kids..at all. If you want kids, get em when you are around 22-28. The reason (imo) is that having older parents is really, really awkward. My parents got me in their 40s. Now im 20 and my dad is 62. It just feels weird.

I agree with this actually, I'm 17, nearly 18 and my parents are 44 (mom) and 50 (dad), I rekon this is just right tbh, they are young enough to understand the "modern generation" and I can talk to them about pretty much anything. Yet they were old enough to give me a good upbringing etc etc.

Whereas my girlfreinds parents (we are the same age) are 50 (mom) somthing and 62 (dad) and personally, I think they are a bit "old fanshioned" (wow i hate that term xD) for example, we have been together a year and still arn't allowed to stay in th same room at her house, but at mine, my parents let us.


Back on topic :P.
Having a child at 16 would not only screw up your life (cant go to university etc.) but think about the childs life, they will be brought up probably on the councils money and their parents not properly able to look after them.

I dont see how people get pregnent at 16 without being stupid... I cant belive some people actually thing that if the girl is on top you cant get pregnant -.-

[Noetic Concordance]

sterilise the fuckin lot of em. worse than the damn african breeders .
way worse as they actually have access to education and contraception. fucking idiots .
nothing worse than breeders.

[Deleted]

Here in the DK we've had 13-year old parents, all I can think at that is "Did they get too little info on sex, or too much?"

[zacish]

I hate alot of young mums.. My cousin recently had a child and there was a young mum trying to give her advice over 30 year old adults with 3 children on how to raise her baby and whats best for it.. For this reason alone i hate young mums.

[Zygersaf]

Here in the DK we've had 13-year old parents, all I can think at that is "Did they get too little info on sex, or too much?"

Probably not enough, certainly here in the UK sex ed lessons suck...i dont think they told us anything useful or that we couldnt figure out for ourselves...

[Deleted]

I found that my sex ed courses in grade school weren't that helpful when it came to explaining the process.

still, you should know that sex leads to pregnancy and how to avoid that

[Lord Kristivas]

sterilise the fuckin lot of em. worse than the damn african breeders .
way worse as they actually have access to education and contraception. fucking idiots .
nothing worse than breeders.

While I don't necessarily agree with this fine gentleman's opinion(s), I'm reminded of something a lawmaker in Louisiana tried to get passed a couple of years ago.

He wanted to pay people $1000 to get a vasectomy/tubes tied (as well as pay for the procedure).

This was called racist by locals and by the media. Why? Because the poor in that area would be severely tempted into taking the deal. After which, they wouldn't be able to have children. So, tempting them with money was infringing on their personal rights? Said people couldn't simply not sign up for the program, if they were so worried about it? At the same time, those who did sign up wouldn't be producing more children to add to the welfare system.

I would like to see this become a federal, if not global option. If you're so broke that you need $1000, that you'd sign up for a surgical procedure, then aren't you not in the shape to support new children?

The option's always there to undo the procedure. All said person would have to do would be well-off enough to pay to have it undone. It seems win/win for everyone. Broke potential parents, the government. I don't see why so many were against it.

[Rigroll]

still, you should know that sex leads to pregnancy and how to avoid that

In my sexed, we talked more about squirting and lesbians...our teacher wasnt really found of the subject and left the room alot

[Deleted]

My dad was 23 when he had his first child, 33 when he had me, and 52 when he had his last.

There really isn't a "too old" or "too young". There's only good or bad circumstances. If you're struggling with school, you don't want a child ontop of that. If you're in a state where you find yourself incapable of finishing an education, you'll want to wait..