Letting go?

[Kurdiern]

Obviously about girls.

First, background. I've had a few GF's before. They've been nothing special, nothing deep. Usually it's just because they would ask and I would say yes, we would break up a few months later. Nothing big. No emotions.

I decided to go do a college visit, one of those stay over night at the dorms and see how it is. I decided to go watch a movie with 4 other girls since I wasn't tired. We watched the movie and had a great time, all got along well. After the movie they all drifted off to bed, 1 by 1. Soon it was just me and one girl left. She decided to bet me that she wasn't going to fall asleep before me and I took her up on that. Then we started talking. Long story short, I told this girl who I had known for a mere 8 hours more about my life than I've told my closest friends. She told me similar things. In 8 hours, she managed to yank my heart around more than any girl I've ever met. I mean FFS, I'm posting on a god damn WoW forum about her, I can't get her out of my head, 2 days after! I definitely felt something from her, and I definitely showed her a bit of how I was feeling. Eventually, she decided that she couldn't stay awake anymore and she went to bed.

The next morning, I saw her for maybe 10 minutes before the tour and all that college shit started. I didn't see her for the rest of the day. Now for whatever reason (Most likely sleep deprivation, since I had gotten 2 hours of sleep the last 2 days), I only got her first and middle name during that night. Pretty much, I have no idea how to contact her.

What I'm asking, is how do you forget? Things like this are bound to happen in life. I'm just wondering what/how do people deal with them.

EDIT: My friends are, quite frankly, people who would laugh it off and go rent me a hooker or something to help me "forget." If I had anyway of contacting her, then why would I have made a thread called "letting go?" Also, I'm still in HS. I visited as a prospie, prospective student.

EDIT2: NEVERMIND. She snuck her phone number into my cell sometime during the night and I've been too much of a mopey bastard to find it.

[Disarmed]

Stop being beta. That's how.

I actually had a paragraph on what to do, but I didn't even read the thread and then after I read it I was like, "are you kidding me?" Man up, seriously.

[Deleted]

Stop being beta. That's how.

Oh, please. If I were to get involved in a serious relationship with someone I wouldn't want someone who is an "alpha". Last time I was with someone who could be considered an "alpha" by people he was so controlling that it got on my nerves. I couldn't even go out with my friends without him calling me up asking where I was. Controlling, aggressive, impatient. I was merely something for him to show off for his friends.. Generalising = win.

[Deleted]

Hmm.

I've had similar happen to me, meet a girl and she knocks you for 6 only to dissapear with no real way of tracing her.

Have you tried searching facebook? or even google with what you know of her name? failing that do you have anyway to contact the other girls? do you know where she came from? you could try searching for here there or something.

Its hard, because if she doesn't feel the same way you could come across as stalkerish, but you could also come across as uber romantic by hunting her down.

---------- Post added 2011-04-10 at 01:24 AM ----------

Oh, please. If I were to get involved in a serious relationship with someone I wouldn't want someone who is an "alpha". Last time I was with someone who could be considered an "alpha" by people he was so controlling that it got on my nerves. I couldn't even go out with my friends without him calling me up asking where I was. Controlling, aggressive, impatient. I was merely something for him to show off for his friends.. Generalising = win.

Also this ^

Alphas may get the attention and the short term relationships, but been more beta about things general means you win long term.

[MintJam]

Huh, I thought this was going to be about letting go after a break up.

I've found only time can do that sort of thing. Do some soul searching. Sometimes you meet someone special and you get along so well that is seems unreal. That doesn't mean they're always girlfriend/boyfriend material. I've gone through that a couple of times, and sometimes I'd realize that they'd be a better fit as friends rather than significant others.

If you really want to let go, you seriously have to let go. That means giving up on finding her. Otherwise you'll be doing nothing to help that.

Who knows, world is full of surprises. You never know when you'll meet someone amazing again. ;3

[IplayWoWpoorly]

When you really connect with someone, it's not going to be easy to forget. I met someone through WoW who due to things in life I will never get a chance to be with, but I am sure she is the other half of my soul. (BTW, I'm in my 40's, not a kid, so I have a little real life experience). We spent many, many hours talking in game and through e-mail. I haven't talked to her in a few months, but still think of her every day and hope that she is getting along well.

[Disarmed]

Oh, please. If I were to get involved in a serious relationship with someone I wouldn't want someone who is an "alpha". Last time I was with someone who could be considered an "alpha" by people he was so controlling that it got on my nerves. I couldn't even go out with my friends without him calling me up asking where I was. Controlling, aggressive, impatient. I was merely something for him to show off for his friends.. Generalising = win.

When I say beta, I mean being weak. I'm not an alpha, I'm not a beta. I'm telling the kid to stop being weak not to be an arrogant asshole.

[Kurdiern]

When I say beta, I mean being weak. I'm not an alpha, I'm not a beta. I'm telling the kid to stop being weak not to be an arrogant asshole.

Looks like you and I have very different definitions of the word weak. I don't consider the emotional state I'm in right now as being any indication of being weak. Want me to go out and get 3 or 4 girls so I can forget this one? Would doing that not be considered "weak?"

[JohnnyTKF]

Obviously about girls.

First, background. I've had a few GF's before. They've been nothing special, nothing deep. Usually it's just because they would ask and I would say yes, we would break up a few months later. Nothing big. No emotions.

I decided to go do a college visit, one of those stay over night at the dorms and see how it is. I decided to go watch a movie with 4 other girls since I wasn't tired. We watched the movie and had a great time, all got along well. After the movie they all drifted off to bed, 1 by 1. Soon it was just me and one girl left. She decided to bet me that she wasn't going to fall asleep before me and I took her up on that. Then we started talking. Long story short, I told this girl who I had known for a mere 8 hours more about my life than I've told my closest friends. She told me similar things. In 8 hours, she managed to yank my heart around more than any girl I've ever met. I mean FFS, I'm posting on a god damn WoW forum about her, I can't get her out of my head, 2 days after! I definitely felt something from her, and I definitely showed her a bit of how I was feeling. Eventually, she decided that she couldn't stay awake anymore and she went to bed.

The next morning, I saw her for maybe 10 minutes before the tour and all that college shit started. I didn't see her for the rest of the day. Now for whatever reason (Most likely sleep deprivation, since I had gotten 2 hours of sleep the last 2 days), I only got her first and middle name during that night. Pretty much, I have no idea how to contact her.

What I'm asking, is how do you forget? Things like this are bound to happen in life. I'm just wondering what/how do people deal with them.

You just do. But seriously, don't you know ANY of the girls? You can find her and just meet them when you are partying. But no, this never happened to me, at my age, (15) talking for 8 hours will involve making out, 100% sure, and then you just forget what you were talking about.

If you don't have a FB then... Seriously, you should get one. And I guess you were exagerating with this: "I told this girl who I had known for a mere 8 hours more about my life than I've told my closest friends". My best friend probably knows everything about me (But we've been friends since we were like 3 years old).

---------- Post added 2011-04-09 at 08:05 PM ----------

When I say beta, I mean being weak. I'm not an alpha, I'm not a beta. I'm telling the kid to stop being weak not to be an arrogant asshole.

Bro, he's not really weak because of that, not like he's crying or anything like that, he just can't forget about her. He has to either talk to her, or just forget about her. (And I don't know you enough to give you are good advice, but IMO, I'd try seeing her again instead, it's way faster and you might end up liking her... If you don't, you'll forget about her in no time).

But OP, I'd bet 10 bucks that you'll see her again. Wait, do you have FB or Myspace? (Probably FB, way more popular now) If so, just find her, it's not hard. Do you know any of her friends?

[Deleted]

If a woman thinks you're alpha, you're fucking alpha. If a guy, or you, think you're alpha, you're fucking beta. I could care less what I am.

OT: OP, chill. There are so many women around at college it's hard to pick one. So sit back, hit the gym make some FRIENDS, again FRIENDS, because Uni with girls and no friends is fucking miserable. Girls come along, usually when they're ready

[Shadowmelded]

You just do. But seriously, don't you know ANY of the girls? You can find her and just meet them when you are partying. But no, this never happened to me, at my age, (15) talking for 8 hours will involve making out, 100% sure, and then you just forget what you were talking about.

If you don't have a FB then... Seriously, you should get one. And I guess you were exagerating with this: "I told this girl who I had known for a mere 8 hours more about my life than I've told my closest friends". My best friend probably knows everything about me (But we've been friends since we were like 3 years old).

---------- Post added 2011-04-09 at 08:05 PM ----------



Bro, he's not really weak because of that, not like he's crying or anything like that, he just can't forget about her. He has to either talk to her, or just forget about her. (And I don't know you enough to give you are good advice, but IMO, I'd try seeing her again instead, it's way faster and you might end up liking her... If you don't, you'll forget about her in no time).

But OP, I'd bet 10 bucks that you'll see her again.

To some guys, showing any sign of emotion is weakness, cause emotions are for pussies and queers(!) Showing women consideration and affection is also for the weak etc...

Btw I don't think he was exaggerating when he said he told this girl more than his best friend knows. Some people can't tell their best friends everything even if they have known each other for a long time, some are scared they'd be judged, some just have a tough time opening up, a lot of people for example don't share their fears and their hopes with their best friends, but it's not too hard to imagine feeling comfortable enough to share almost everything with a girl if it literally feels as if she's you in bro-form.

[Marintha]

Have you tried facebooking her name? Checking that college's facebook for her face? I mean, there are ways to find people. You said you went with four other girls, remember any of them?

We have the internet! It's always possible to find people, if you work for it. :P

[Melodi]

Kind of off topic but I am seriously not up to speed in the dating lingo nowadays. Hell, I never really was that's why I'm glad I hit the jackpot on the second person I dated and married him lol. What the hell does it mean to be Alpha or Beta? Are you talking Type A versus Type B personalities or what? Clue this 25 year old woman in, please!

OT: Try to use google and find her, or at least contact the other girls there to see, if you can. If all else fails try facebook if you remember what state or high school she went to, it makes it a lot easier to narrow down. Good luck!

[Shadowmelded]

Ok so I don't have an exact definition but the general idea is that an Alpha would be the Alpha male type, the type of person that gets first picks of food, mates etc... and beta's are the weak who sit back and let themselves be beaten by alpha's, generally don't do much to improve their situation etc...

It's used more to describe guys in general than just in dating

[Deleted]

Wow.. is this what the WoW community has become?

Why not just ask your friends? Why ask an anonymous grey mass of nobodies about real life things that are way to important to ask said grey mass.

[Kawaii]

Kind of off topic but I am seriously not up to speed in the dating lingo nowadays. Hell, I never really was that's why I'm glad I hit the jackpot on the second person I dated and married him lol. What the hell does it mean to be Alpha or Beta? Are you talking Type A versus Type B personalities or what? Clue this 25 year old woman in, please!

More or less. Alpha Male (outward, cocky, usually a douchebag, CONFIDENT), vs Beta Male (dependant, supporting, etc etc). You can more or less sum it up with "bad boys get the chicks".

[Deleted]

When I say beta, I mean being weak. I'm not an alpha, I'm not a beta. I'm telling the kid to stop being weak not to be an arrogant asshole.

How is he acting weak? :/

[foxHeart]

It happened very recently, but you phrase your op's question like it's a thing of the past.

?.?

If it just happened, use facebook. You'd be amazed how a little association logic can help you find someone. Find someone you think knows her or may know her or goes to the same school as her. You have a face and a first name, so you have a shot. If you really connected, don't let her get away. That would be dumb.

[taco avenger]

op: sounds like she was flirting and waiting for you to make a move and you just sat there, so she went to sleep. on the other hand she could've just been friendly and her feelings aren't mutual and you're long forgotten and she's probably sleeping with sum dood right now.

also alpha male + wow player makes me lmao.

[aztr0]

You mean people don't FB people and etc once they see each other these days? Sucks for you, but you should've gotten her contact info somehow. AIM, FB, whatever. But if you want to know about how to let go. Just don't do shit like post in a WoW forum about it, don't talk about it, don't think about it. There is no other way. But hey man, good luck. If its meant to be, you might bump into her again if you both decide to attend this college... just hope she doesn't have a diesel BF by that time. /shrug.