Women and standards of beauty...

[Willelm]

A lot of girls are like that tbh, dunno what it is lack of self confidence or just a cry for more ttention, because what i noticed is the prettier the girl, the more she wines about how ugly she looks.

Tbh pretty much all girls can 'look' hot if they want too. But a lot of girls don't just because the aren't confident enough.

And tbh victoria secret model's maybe look hot on foto's, but there photoshopped and tbh i rathe have a less pretty girl with some 'meat' then a victoria secret model where you would be scared of breaking her in two when holding her in your arms.

I think you meant well but you sounded a bit mean there. A lot of girls have self-image problems (yes, even the pretty ones) because of what the media shoves down our throats. Every day we are subject to looking at 5'8, 100lb stick figures who are dressed up in pretty clothes and made up to look, more or less, the idea of perfect. We can't open a magazine, watch a tv show, or even check out the Internet without having 'the perfect size 0 figure' shoved into our faces, and you have to remember this has been happening all throughout the life of your average 20-30 something year olds. It's even worse for the younger girls, so it's not a conscious thought - it's so ingrained that being a size 0-4 is glamorous that anything LESS than that is simply not acceptable if you want to view yourself in good light.

It's quite a booster to see the VS models before and afters, considering they don't look as great as their photos and they are so skinny they just look tired and worn out.

Don't get me wrong, though. There are girls out there who complain about body image to fish for compliments. But it's not the majority of girls and most girls are just psychologically damaged from the media's idea of perfection.

---------- Post added 2011-04-14 at 12:12 AM ----------

Girls with horrible self esteem always end up being trouble.

Either:
a) You'll never be able to convince her she's attractive in any way.
or
b) She'll get angry at you for trying because oh god she's so hideously ugly and looks fat in those pants.

I'd advise looking for a girl who says "thank you" rather than "no, I'm not" when you pay her a compliment.

Telling a TEENAGE girl she's beautiful in any light does wonders for self-esteem. If she (a teenage girl, or early 20-something), gets angry or exasperated that you say she's pretty, and tries to defend that she's fat, it's only because she really believes that and she has a desire to change it, and feels unworthy of being called 'pretty'. It's really not her fault - as a girl who never struggled with weight, was never obese, and isn't bad looking, I can speak from experience that no matter what kind of awesome bone structure you have, you will find flaws, and at some point during your life it will push you to tears that there are some things you simply can't change, because you feel completely out of control. But again, I stress, this is in relation to most teenage girls and those in their early 20s.

But for older women who know better and have the power to change whatever it is they don't like about themselves, they don't really have much excuse. There comes a time where you just gotta get over it.

[Ligaments]

Telling a TEENAGE girl she's beautiful in any light does wonders for self-esteem. If she (a teenage girl, or early 20-something), gets angry or exasperated that you say she's pretty, and tries to defend that she's fat, it's only because she really believes that and she has a desire to change it, and feels unworthy of being called 'pretty'. It's really not her fault - as a girl who never struggled with weight, was never obese, and isn't bad looking, I can speak from experience that no matter what kind of awesome bone structure you have, you will find flaws, and at some point during your life it will push you to tears that there are some things you simply can't change, because you feel completely out of control. But again, I stress, this is in relation to most teenage girls and those in their early 20s.

That's certainly a valid point. Guys definitely have things easier when it comes to social conventions about our bodies, I guess I looked at it from the perspective of my own age group.

[Merganzer]

Honestly? Women do that for a number of reasons depending on their personality. Most of the time it's to make sure she isn't set up for an insult, and she's often not self confident at all, so she 'clears the air' so to speak, and lets everybody know she already knows she's 'ugly'. I hate these women. Another type is just fishing for compliments. I hate these too. These women hop from man to man to satisfy their need to feel pretty because they don't have anything else going for them other than their looks.

And then there are those who actually mean it, and they're just misguided. They actually believe they are the fatasses they think they are due to magazines, and media. I hate these too.

Come to think of it? Unless a woman has a built-in grill, and computer, I probably won't like her. My advice? Just tell her she's pretty with a straight face, all seriousness, and make sure she understands you mean it-- I mean, 'til she's, like, cryin' and shit.. And if she continues to disagree? Get out. You don't need it.

[glo]

Find other girls to hang out with that aren't shallow attention whores.

[Bearshield]

Anyway, what do you guys think about the message sent to women by these "models" and how it affects them emotionally and psychologically?

First off, as a woman myself I'm just going to say that the idea that because popular models, dolls, etc have a certain body that all girls will have piss-poor self esteem is a load of bull. Barbie is over 50 years old, that means multiple generations of women grew up seeing the dolls with the "perfect bodies" and low and behold, most of us grew up to be relatively normal, healthy women who DONT have eating disorders and self-esteem issues. A lot of factors can cause self-esteem issues but simply seeing a few attractive models isn't one of them.

We all care about our appearance. Sure there's the feminazi chicks out there claiming they want to be wanted for their brains but the rest of us are smart enough to know that you're not checking out our "brains" and our "brains" aren't what draws the attention of a hot guy passing by.

As to your friends, OP, I'm guessing they're relatively young (as in teenagers). Perhaps your friend's sister was recently rejected by a guy she was interested in for a girl she felt was more attractive than herself and thus is beating herself up over it. The editing the pictures thing seems a bit odd imo though I cant say I've never deleted a pic taken of me where I thought it made me look bad (but who hasnt?)

In any event, I did read your other post about the girl and hopefully you can help her with her self esteem issues.

[iDot]

Females see these images in magazines/pictures of "perfect" women in victoria secrets, etc etc... and they get this set in their head. But in all reality, no none of them are "perfect" it is the photoshop that makes them seem that way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ0adXaY_bs

Just a link to a video showing you how extensive some of these photos are/can be changed.

[lolo855]

I think you meant well but you sounded a bit mean there. A lot of girls have self-image problems (yes, even the pretty ones) because of what the media shoves down our throats. Every day we are subject to looking at 5'8, 100lb stick figures who are dressed up in pretty clothes and made up to look, more or less, the idea of perfect. We can't open a magazine, watch a tv show, or even check out the Internet without having 'the perfect size 0 figure' shoved into our faces, and you have to remember this has been happening all throughout the life of your average 20-30 something year olds. It's even worse for the younger girls, so it's not a conscious thought - it's so ingrained that being a size 0-4 is glamorous that anything LESS than that is simply not acceptable if you want to view yourself in good light.

It's quite a booster to see the VS models before and afters, considering they don't look as great as their photos and they are so skinny they just look tired and worn out.

Don't get me wrong, though. There are girls out there who complain about body image to fish for compliments. But it's not the majority of girls and most girls are just psychologically damaged from the media's idea of perfection.

---------- Post added 2011-04-14 at 12:12 AM ----------



Telling a TEENAGE girl she's beautiful in any light does wonders for self-esteem. If she (a teenage girl, or early 20-something), gets angry or exasperated that you say she's pretty, and tries to defend that she's fat, it's only because she really believes that and she has a desire to change it, and feels unworthy of being called 'pretty'. It's really not her fault - as a girl who never struggled with weight, was never obese, and isn't bad looking, I can speak from experience that no matter what kind of awesome bone structure you have, you will find flaws, and at some point during your life it will push you to tears that there are some things you simply can't change, because you feel completely out of control. But again, I stress, this is in relation to most teenage girls and those in their early 20s.

But for older women who know better and have the power to change whatever it is they don't like about themselves, they don't really have much excuse. There comes a time where you just gotta get over it.

yeah that's what I ment, a lot of girls having confidence problems because of tv models.
I know it's not there fault but a lot of girls should start to realize that most boy's aren't looking for a super model and aren't all about the looks ( well maybe when 'selecting' girls you could do you do but no in the long-term)
I wouldn't want to date eva longaria or someting, because just the tought of all boy's who want to bang my chick would drive me mad :S

A lot of girls just don't know how to show there assets to the world. Because frankly that's all what they do for top models, show the pretty stuff about her while hiding the imperfections. No girl is perfect. if there is even a perfection to start with...

[Bearshield]

A British study just came out that found 28% of women would actually be willing to trade a year or more of their lives to have the "perfect" body. I imagine it would be even worse in the United States.

This I believe. In the past few years my mom has had a ton of plastic surgery just to make herself look a certain way. She diets fanatically and sometimes will go on temporary "liquid diets" (she is already stupidly skinny). I love my mom but I think it's crazy to risk your health and well being the way she does and I've told her this. At the risk of sounding arrogant I will say that I consider myself a fairly attractive woman. I know what my faults are (I'd like to drop about 20lbs, as at 5'7" and 130lbs I consider myself chubby) but I would never consider doing anything that would risk my health and well being to change.

[Warlight]

All I can say is this is 100% U-G-L-Y


/end saaarchahahshasjaasm

[Sherylina]

She's probably attention seeking, a lot of girls do that sort of thing just for you to tell them that they look great.

This.
Though it is easier to see flaws in yourself than in others.

[Xcruiser]

All I can say is this is 100% U-G-L-Y
[img]-[/img]

/end saaarchahahshasjaasm

Pass.

[Deleted]

Many women feel like this because the media emphasize female beauty so ridiculously unnaturally 'beautiful' and so much wheight gets put into that specific image being right, and of you don't look like this you're an outcast and don't deserve any kind of attention.

Sure there are also women who don't give a sod about that and look like they please, and some are even blessed looking naturally 'good' (according to the media) and so don't think much about it.

Just as an example? Games. Every single female character, without almost sany kind of exception (Except Samus from Metroid while disregarding Other M) are fetishized or so overly endowed or stereotypically girly that it sometimes hurts.

And the people who are into that a lot gets influenced by this, and elevate their standards to those levels. And the majority of women do wish to not be shunned by the majority of everyone just because her looks label her 'do not want', and so many do a lot of sometimes-extreme things to try and edge themselves closer and closer to that 'perfection'. How many of those supermodel pictures do you think aren't manipulated after the shoot? None. At all.

Now, I'm neither blessed, nor looking particularly fantastic, and nor do I actually care to, because the standards of general society are terribad. A natural woman has scattered body-fat, because they're supposed to from nature's side to bear and raise healthy children. A woman who doesn't wear make-up can be very very beautiful, but in an entirely different way then one who does, and even the ones people say looks 'naturally good', wear make-up, if very subtle. Celebreties -always- wear make up in movies.

And because this 'fake' (because it's either manipulated or make-up i.e. not something your body looks like from the get-go) look and image of beauty is promoted so bloody much... Yeah, starting to repeat myself ain't I...

And probably a bit exagerrated as well, but that's how I see it, and I'm disgusted by it most of the time, seeing adverts and commercials were they wheigh on it so much... Even -shoe- commercials can have a woman in her skimpy underwear to sell it, what the hell...

Better stop before I start nerd-raging now...

[Silentsnipe1212]

well shes 18 so i guess that answers the question of what age group she falls under (im 19) i did seriously say to her face that she isnt fat or ugly and told her if she REALLY wanted a BF she could get one really easy, but i guess she doesnt take me seriously. after my best friend came home from work i went and chilled with him for a bit, when i left the room to go to the bathroom i saw her in her room sitting there bored and playing the sims on PC. i wanted to go in there and talk with her more but i didnt wanna seem like im ditching my best friend to go talk with his sister (seems like im walking on thin ice) i was watching my friend play skies of arcadia and i decided to text her to reassure what i said (i know i felt like a loser texting her from another room in the house lol) but she thanked me for it atleast. i dont wanna see anyone i know down about themselves because it makes me feel bad and i wanna make them feel better. ive said it before but im horrible at reading people when theyre talking to me, when i observe other people talking to eachother i can read the sign very clearly. i just dont know if she really knows that what i said i meant it and not just trying to be that guy who says o dont worry about it. and she is smoking god damn hot too, not ugly to me in the least bit and anyone who sees her would say the same im sure, but she did keep saying how much better her friends pictures looked, so to me it sounds like she has some sort of complex about it.

[RaZz0r]

All I can say is this is 100% U-G-L-Y


/end saaarchahahshasjaasm

She looks like a barbie doll in that pick i think i pass

[Lockrocker75]

Yea. it's just women thinking that is what guys are wanting in a woman. A 6ft toothpick. No ty. Plus if she was referring to a picture of a Victoria Secret's model, they doctor those pics so much. It's not a true picture of that woman. My perfect woman would have to be like 5ft - 5ft 8", 120-145lbs. and can eat like there is no tomorrow and can get out and have fun getting dirty on quads. basicly I don't want a chick that if she turns sideways I loose track of where she is at. Don't feel like putting a GPS on her ass lol

[Silentsnipe1212]

Yea. it's just women thinking that is what guys are wanting in a woman. A 6ft toothpick. No ty. Plus if she was referring to a picture of a Victoria Secret's model, they doctor those pics so much. It's not a true picture of that woman. My perfect woman would have to be like 5ft - 5ft 8", 120-145lbs. and can eat like there is no tomorrow and can get out and have fun getting dirty on quads. basicly I don't want a chick that if she turns sideways I loose track of where she is at. Don't feel like putting a GPS on her ass lol

lol nice, im with ya there.

[herpecin]

she's fishing for compliments. good job not falling for the insecure girls desperate attempt at attention.

[Bearshield]

My perfect woman would have to be like 5ft - 5ft 8", 120-145lbs

lol you have high standards dont you? (being sarcastic btw) 5ft and 145lbs would be pretty heavy for someone so short unless you were meaning the 120 at 5ft and the 145 at 5'8".

[Toho]

what about her?

[Silentsnipe1212]

what about her?

shes not ugly really, just a horrible performer.