Wikileaks diplomatic cable leaked on how Garrosh became warchief !

[ur_hbk]

Wikileaks diplomatic cable on how Garrosh became warchief !

Time: Not too long after Tirion's statue was built in Dalaran.

Location: Winterspring

**Sound of lots of portal and people**Jaina, Thrall, Garrosh, Varian, Tirion and Rhonin appear**

Rhonin: Why are we here
Jaina: I have brought us all here to have a meeting about Deathwing
Rhonin: Yes jaina, I know that, but why here? !
Jaina: Well, King Varian doesn’t wanna go anywhere horde and Garrosh won’t go anywhere alliance without starting another war, so I figured we go to the one place no one would want !


Tirion: Ok, so Deathwing has returned. I think it is time for alliance and horde to forget their differences and unite against this evil. We have already proven that my surprisingly long motivational speeches about unity and making you fight each other to prepare for fighting the common enemy, works ! !
Varian: Ummm, Tirion you do realize that horde and alliance were kinda fighting each other all the way in ICC dude? ! I donno if you’ve heard but there was this gunship…and some shit went down !
Garrosh: The horde does not need help from alliance pigs to fight !

Thrall: Seriously Garrosh !!! This is the last time I am telling you, I am the warchief, I decide wt horde needs not you.
Tirion: Ok…so I think we should build a coliseum and make our heroes fight each other to train them.

Varian: Wow Tirion, aren’t you just the ideas man!

Thrall: What do you think we should do Jaina

**Garrosh rolling eyes**

Jaina: I don’t think we can contain this evil on our own ! We will need more numbers to fight a dragon aspect ! We might need to “expand the horde and alliance”
Garrosh: the horde will never join with the alliance.

**Thrall deep Sigh**

Thrall: Garrosh, expand does not mean join even in Orcish..Just try to be quiet for a few minutes dude !
Tirion: What do you mean Jaina?
Jaina: I think it is time to let some new races join the horde and alliance !

Tirion: But the new races will have to be trained up and all….and I kinda hv a feeling that after living in a hole in the ground for so long, deathwing wld be pretty pissed, so time might be a factor !
Garrosh: Don’t worry about that. When we let Blood Elfs in, we thought the same way!! 4 weeks later I wanted to punch a troll everytime I saw a blood elf !

Varian: why do we have to let new races in. It’s just a dragon aspect! Din I read somewhere 25 dudes beat malygos !
Garrosh: Yeah..why do we need to let new races in? Shouldn’t we instead be cutting down the useless races like…
Thrall: GArrooosshh !!

Jaina: Deathwing is mad my king, we can’t fight him as we are!
Varian: Ummm…pretty sure malygos was mad too but meh !

Thrall: I think it’s a good idea jaina. I will take the next boat to some random island in the sea. I kno the odds of finding people on a random island in the middle of nowhere are pretttty slim but I’ll do it for you.
Jaina: Umm Thrall, It’s not about us…it’s about deathwing.

Thrall: It will be about us one day Jaina….soon
Garrosh: If you leave you will have to appoint a new warchief ! The horde needs strong, smart, sensible leadership in these times !

Thrall: Ok…I name Cairne as leader !
Garrosh: Umm, you can’t make him leader.*mumbling* make him warchief and say goodbye to steaks….
Thrall: What steaks??
Garrosh:I mean Cairne is not a warrior, he’s a druid. They are the biggest tree huggers in azeroth, do you really think he can lead in war times??

Thrall: Ok Vol’Jin then
Garrosh: Trolls dnt even hv their own city…seriously so orcs build org and then hand it to trolls. How does that wrk…there’ll be a rebellion ! Tolls in general have a very bad rep too ! Do u never follow trade chat !

Thrall: sylvanas then.
Varian: If that traitor becomes the warchief, I am declaring war on the horde rite now. I have’nt forgotten wrathgate.
Jaina: quiet my king !

**Varian becomes quiet, thrall eyes Jaina and Varian suspiciously**

Thrall: Ok then Lor'themar Theron !
Tirion: Who’s that?
Garrosh:so we leave the leadership to a blood elf ! Nice…deathwing would have destroyed the whole world in the time it takes for him to do his hair. We need someone calm, composed, who calculates his every move, who thinks before he talks, who is the image of strength, maturity and honor !

Thrall:Who are you talking about garrosh!
Garrosh: Who else?
Thrall: Who?

Garrosh: ME warchief !
Thrall: Ha Ha ha Ha Ha Ha……..

**Garrosh looks pissed**

Thrall: Oh ur serious…oh hmmm
Garrosh: I will lead the horde to victory warchief !
Thrall: Ok..I guess I will be in the middle of the ocean somewhere so, I think it only makes sense that u should be the warchief.
Tirion: Really? Him?
Thrall: Yes

Varian: Did you consider basic Campfire?

Thrall: Hmmm… *lost in deep thoughts*

Garrosh: I will not disappoint you warchief….I will lead the horde to glory !!
Thrall: Garrosh…I declare you the temporary new warchief of the Horde !
Garrosh: Lok’tar ! Ok so Thrall I need to have a word with you about the org building.
Thrall: Thrall ! !

Garrosh: Ummm well technically, I am kinda the warchief….you know I am just following the rules here !
Thrall: Very well…I must now go to my ship, on my lonely, long journey to find a secluded island in the middle of nowhere…if someone wants to join me…I’ll be waiting on the Theramore port…

**Jaina sly looking**

Garrosh: Later dude, take care…dnt worry abt a thing, I got ur back !
Thrall: Ummm…sure dude **staring at jaina**

Garrosh: I will build a strong powerful horde and to start things off I will rebuild org and need to make some more room in org too, could make vip areas and to prepare our troops….**ranting off**

**Thrall still staring at jaina**

Tirion: I hope you know what you are doing thrall !

**Thrall still staring at Jaina**

Varian: This dog is not fit to lead the horde Thrall **Pulls out his swords**

**Garrosh and Varian in a dual, the weapons hit each other with violent noise**


**Suddenly Rhonnin turns around. The shimmer and sheen of Rhonnin’s hair breaks Thrall’s concentration**

Thrall: Garrosh stop !
Jaina: My King…stop !

*Fighting stops**

Garrosh: Umm ok I don't wanna be the arse here but it’s warchief garrosh !
Thrall: Sigh, port me Jaina, now he’s the entire azeroth’s problem !

**Jaina makes a port, Thrall goes away**

Rhonnin: Gratz garrosh !
Garrosh: Warchief !!
Tirion: So we will be recruiting more races, what other ideas do we have Jaina

**Jaina looking distractedly at her watch**

Jaina: Rhonin might have some ideas…
Rhonin: I hv tons of ideas jaina, u’ll hv to be a bit more specific what kind of ideas ur after !
Jaina: Ummm….why are we here?
Rhonnin: Cause deathnwing…oooo oh, oh, ok…..that idea…hmmm. Did anyone figure out how deathwing got out actally?
Jaina: No

Tirion: I hv been asking myself that question for a long time…
Varian: we found out about deathwing getting out aboutt 20min ago dude, how have u been asking yourself that for a long time ! Try less dramatic dude.
Jaina: Could it have been a setback?

Garrosh: No, we have had too many setbacks…coliseum, redone naxx,occ, eoe, gearscore, coliseum again….99% of the deathknights ! I think I am missing a setback but can’t quite think of it….I m sure I have read about it…but people don’t really talk about it at all, so hard to remember !
Varian: I am surprised u remember how to walk and don’t just fall and smash your face !
Jaina: My king !
Garrosh: I think I know how deathwing got out !
Tirion: How??

Garrosh: That dwarf..branz bronzebeard set him free !
Jaina: How can u say that !
Garrosh: Do u kno anyone else in azeroth who goes around digging strange and dangerous looking places for lulz? Everytime that guy shows up, he’s dug something up an now he needs help to put it back !
Jaina: Hmmm
Tirion: It is possible, Branzz has a bad habit of getting pissed an bumpin around strange places !
Garrosh: First the an alliance becomes lich king then they help free deathwing…..this is racism, why aren’t any great evil names going to the horde.

Rhonin: You and sylvanas are almost there Garrosh…don’t sweat…give it a few months..

Garrosh: You mean WARCHIEF Garrosh!!!!



**The sky turns bright, grass begins to grow where they stand…sound of portal..Malfurion appears**
**Malfurion and Rhonin stare at each other, two invincible powers, two men who make way through fire, water and wind while still maintaining an impeccable hair style, two men who stare evil in the eye and still pick the perfect cologne, two legends of azeroth...face to face...

More cables to be released as soon as these blizz govt officials stop this entire campaign that i slept with two blood elves in Silvemoon!

Link to other previous cable: Lich King death !
http://www.mmo-champion.com/threads/...4#post11464544

Coming Soon:
How Thrall and Jaina split up.
How did Craine really die
What is in goblin bank accounts
Which Azeroth race is supporting Al Qaeda
And more.....

[Viradiance]

I read the title and the first thought was "TIME TO POINT HIM TO THE OFF-TOPIC!"

Then I smiled.

[-Zait-]

haha...this is great

[Kanshan]

I read the title and the first thought was "TIME TO POINT HIM TO THE OFF-TOPIC!"

Then I smiled.

lmao
/10char

[question1]

Not bad. Nice change from all the QQ.

[Anthraxxxis]

Thrall would never say "Dude."

Other than that. Awesome.

[Smashedd]

Heh. Very nice

[Pud'n]

Not to be a "Debbie downer", but meh I read better spoofs.

[Mollari]

Not to be a "Debbie downer", but meh I read better spoofs.

Not to be a "Debbie downer", but meh I read better comments.

[question1]

More cables to be released as soon as these blizz govt officials stop this entire campaign that i slept with two blood elves in Silvemoon![/B][/U]
[/I]

hehe...i see what you did there.

[Resentful]

Not bad OP

[Pebrocks The Warlock]

Should have posted this in Off-topic.

[Spl4sh3r]

**The sky turns bright, grass begins to grow where they stand…sound of portal..Malfurion appears**
**Malfurion and Rhonin stare at each other, two invincible powers, two men who make way through fire, water and wind while still maintaining an impeccable hair style, two men who stare evil in the eye and still pick the perfect cologne, two legends of azeroth...face to face...

You do know they already met before ;P Like ten thousand years ago?

[ur_hbk]

You do know they already met before ;P Like ten thousand years ago?

Oh sorry, I have been completely factual in every other way. Donno how I missed this one tiny detail.