Anti old fashioned men?

[Deleted]

Okay.....so once again I'm trying stop myself from facepalming into a large concussion.

I just had an argument with my gals sister, I'll put it out there, I fucking hate her sister, over me being "sexist". Apparently buying gifts, paying for our dates (yes we still go on dates after like 3/4 years), not letting her carry things and constantly being there to listen to her problems makes me a bad guy. I don't think women should do manual labor, it makes no sense to me at all why they'd want to and this is what set her nutter sister off along with the fact I think men usually make better team leaders, not because of an inability of women at leading but the fact women get on with men better than other women, and men with other men. This isn't my opinion, it's an odd occurrence in women. If needed I'll provide links. To clarify, I've no problem in female leaders, I just find they are often poor at it due to another woman in the group undermining her, or an actual sexist guy for that matter. Back on topic, so apparently this makes me sexist?

So, would you consider me sexist? Personally I don't really care if I am, but I do argue that my opinions are wrong. I find nothing wrong with wanting to look after someone completely and ensure they're happy in all ways, physically, emotionally and mentally.


Edit: Oh what really confused me. She accused me of being a sexist pig because I think men should exercise and keep physically fit. Honestly I was speechless.

[wowisme]

Speaking as a woman, I applaud you, good Sir! Best of luck to you.

[Badpaladin]

I think your girl's sister is going through a "I'm going to be a super hardcore feminist that doesn't resemble anything what a real feminist is all about!!" stage, probably because she's insecure about something.

[Deleted]

I think your girl's sister is going through a "I'm going to be a super hardcore feminist that doesn't resemble anything what a real feminist is all about!!" stage, probably because she's insecure about something.

Indeed, the problem is I've to sit there keeping polite when I'd like to tell her shaving your head makes you look like the guy from American History X>_> Christ, she's going to be my sister-in-law.

[Digglett]

Edit: Oh what really confused me. She accused me of being a sexist pig because I think men should exercise and keep physically fit. Honestly I was speechless.

How is being courteous sexist? O_o

That last part just boggles my mind, how can anyone possibly think this way and be serious? D:

To answer your question, no, you aren't sexist, shes just crazy, and you're just old fashioned and a fine gent, nothin' wrong with that, most girls like that.

[Gothpuncher]

The sister sounds like a lesbian. Is she 40 kgs overweight and sporting a buzzcut? Usually a dead giveaway.

Infracted. Please do not be so rude on our forums ~Fuzzz

[Felicia]

My fiance is like you, and I'm grateful that I have him. Her sister is crazy, and sounds like a feminist. A lot of women would kill for guys like you or my fiance. Just sayin'. Kudos to you!

[Deleted]

How is being courteous sexist? O_o

That last part just boggles my mind, how can anyone possibly think this way and be serious? D:

I've no idea. I mean I said I'd gotten a bit out of shape, normally I'm really really well built but had a rough year. Then said I'm going to be going back to hardcore workouts in June and trying to get as many of my guy friends to come. The rest you can imagine tbh.

[hayharut]

your "gal's sister" is insane imo

and i dont think your sexist, in fact i think your doing everything right

[Deleted]

Stupid people...you must never take them seriously.

[ashley2ashes]

every girl is different. lots of girls see that as being sexist. but lots of other girls see it as sweet and romantic. i am personally in the second group. i dont look for sexism where it doesnt exist. if a guy rushes to carry things for you, it means he cares for you, not that he doesnt respect you.

[v2prwsmb45yhuq3wj23vpjk]

The whole women leader thing is a bit sexist. You assume that men don't compete with other men, which is simply not the case. Also, what happens if a male leader encounters a sexist female who thinks and says that males are too dumb to lead, etc.?

[zoefschildpad]

you need to make sure that you don't let your girl think that she can't do anything. I don't know you or your girl, so I obviously don't know how she feels, so I'l tell you about my parents instead.

My mother has MS (has had it for like 30 years now) and for years my dad did whatever he could so she wouldn't have to. It really made my mother feel that she couldn't do shit, which wasn't true at all. My father had a really bad need to do things for her, up to the point where he'd wake up at 5 in the morning so he could turn off the alarm clock without it waking her. It took him years of therapy to work out that she slept right through his alarm clock anyway and to figure out why she sometimes gets pissed when he only wants to help.

The moral of the story is that it's important that you ask her just what she feels about you doing the what her sister calls sexist things, because if it bothers her she's just as likely to nod and smile than confront you about it.

[koodledrum]

Personally i see your opinion as chivalry rather than chauvenism - could be that as a guy who was brought up a certain way that you tend to respect women a little more, offering to carry heavy/multiple bags, opening doors, pulling chairs out, giving up your seat on public transport etc, that's not being a sexist pig, that's just being PLEASANT. Generally speaking i'll try to do the same for older & disabled people too, again i don't see anything wrong with that at all - be proud your parents brought you up properly and ignore the jealous bitch sister, clearly no one has ever done that for her!

[omglazor]

Sounds like insecurity or jealousy on her part

[Deleted]

The whole women leader thing is a bit sexist. You assume that men don't compete with other men, which is simply not the case. Also, what happens if a male leader encounters a sexist female who thinks and says that males are too dumb to lead, etc.?

I'm basing this on studies etc. On average, not in specific encounters, groups perform better with male leaders. I can't find those right now, somewhere on JSTOR but here are some I found quickly.

http://www.thefword.org.uk/features/...hy_are_women_s

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...ear-sexy-women

[vizzle]

The sister is a lesbian.

/thread

[MintJam]

I know a few gals like that. They think just because they're women, they're empowered and they don't want men treating them like women. I personally find it to be the biggest turn off ever, simply because I love treating a significant other like a queen at times. ;3

[RedHeadWolf]

No, you're not sexist. My boyfriend is a lot like you actually. But it's not like I ask him to do that stuff, at times it makes me feel like a pansy that he carries my stuff around and whatnot. But he does it because he wants to. No matter how hard I resist.

[Selkhet]

Okay.....so once again I'm trying stop myself from facepalming into a large concussion.

I just had an argument with my gals sister, I'll put it out there, I fucking hate her sister, over me being "sexist". Apparently buying gifts, paying for our dates (yes we still go on dates after like 3/4 years), not letting her carry things and constantly being there to listen to her problems makes me a bad guy. I don't think women should do manual labor, it makes no sense to me at all why they'd want to and this is what set her nutter sister off along with the fact I think men usually make better team leaders, not because of an inability of women at leading but the fact women get on with men better than other women, and men with other men. This isn't my opinion, it's an odd occurrence in women. If needed I'll provide links. To clarify, I've no problem in female leaders, I just find they are often poor at it due to another woman in the group undermining her, or an actual sexist guy for that matter. Back on topic, so apparently this makes me sexist?

So, would you consider me sexist? Personally I don't really care if I am, but I do argue that my opinions are wrong. I find nothing wrong with wanting to look after someone completely and ensure they're happy in all ways, physically, emotionally and mentally.


Edit: Oh what really confused me. She accused me of being a sexist pig because I think men should exercise and keep physically fit. Honestly I was speechless.

I think she just wants you to analise the root of some problems. Buying gifts and paying for dates is nice, but you should let your girl do it for you too if she so desires. This habit is born from an age where women were not allowed to work and depended on men to eat, not because they were not capable of work but because they were discriminated, and some women don't like anything that resembles that. It's understandable.

About men making better team leaders, I have to disagree. You got it right to some point, but you may want to look deeper and see why women undermine each other (hint: it's because they're trained to see every other woman as a rival). Women are trained from a young age to see other women as competition for the only thing that matter: getting a man. That's the sexist part. It sucks, because it makes women avoid possible friendships and prevents them to form strong bonds with each other. Just look at any TV show or comedy, women are always portrayed as backstabbers, up to steal your boyfriend, etc. It ends up being a self-fulfilled prophecy. What you can do, as a man, is support a good woman leader when you see one, by encouraging her or by shutting down an eventual sexist asshole who decides to say bullshit. These things are social constructs, not defined by nature, and we may be missing on some great leadership because of this.

And the third part, I really don't see what could be bad about exercising and being fit, for both men and women. Unless you specifically said women shouldn't be phisically fit or exercise, then its bullshit. =p

You're not a sexist, but you have male privilege. As long as you're willing to look into things and learn, and make a conscious effort to improve yourself in these matters of equality, you can do no wrong.