1. #1
    Brewmaster
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    Is it wrong or right..

    To be afraid of being in certain social situations? Not whether or not it's normal, but are you justified in being afraid? In other words, When you are afraid of being in a certain social setting or being around certain people, should we let the fear dictate our actions or should we try and overcome it?

  2. #2
    Legendary! Digglett's Avatar
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    Its not wrong, I had the same problem for the longest time, took some pills for social anxiety, they seemed to help, but as most pills I think it just blankets the fear. Anyways, don't let it overcome you, I did it and made a HUGE life fail, and will forever regret it, just do your best to push said fears aside and not think too much about the situation, it usually turns out okay in the end.


  3. #3
    Scarab Lord Blznsmri's Avatar
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    I hate calling people I don't know. Like the cable company. I don't like going up and introducing myself to people who can directly affect my future. I don't like being around my friend's families with out them around.

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  4. #4
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    The thing is, I just experienced something that totally surprised me. I was in a social setting, and I was totally fine until a certain person showed up. I knew this person was going to be there, and I thought I could handle it. Then they show up, and it's like a wave of fear just hits me in the face. I can't even explain it. I guess it was like getting punched in the stomach out of nowhere and having the wind knocked out of you. How do you face this kind of fear?

  5. #5
    i personally hate going to a party with one of my friends when I dont know anyone at the party besides him/her. I understand that they're meant to be places to meet social people but if I'm there with just one friend it's really awkward. I'd rather be there with a group of friends...

    Another thing is I'm dating this girl who's family is... I guess better off (higher class for lack of a better term), and Ive had to go to multiple social events with her family and that's not so bad but her parents (though they like me) are the kind of people who expect their children to go to like ivy league schools or w/e and all of their friends are the exact same... so these social events are filled with people who just small talk, and every single conversation starts off with "So where are you going to school" I name my regular 4 year college and you just see the expression on their face change as if they look down on you... its hard to explain. Although they usually keep their rich person mask on and pretend like they're interested in the convo. It's just one of the most awkward things ever lol. But I must admit its fun to watch how fake some of them are.

  6. #6
    Legendary! Digglett's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Typrax View Post
    The thing is, I just experienced something that totally surprised me. I was in a social setting, and I was totally fine until a certain person showed up. I knew this person was going to be there, and I thought I could handle it. Then they show up, and it's like a wave of fear just hits me in the face. I can't even explain it. I guess it was like getting punched in the stomach out of nowhere and having the wind knocked out of you. How do you face this kind of fear?
    Might be a odd question for you, and you don't have to answer if its too personal, but did that particular person do anything to you? Or was this just a random feeling that never really comes up?


  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Digglett View Post
    Might be a odd question for you, and you don't have to answer if its too personal, but did that particular person do anything to you? Or was this just a random feeling that never really comes up?
    Ive seen your sig around sooo much tonight... and i must say it kind of bothers me lol.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Typrax View Post
    How do you face this kind of fear?
    Well, I would advise you to understand 3 things most people cannot handle:
    1) nobody is special.
    2) everybody is different.
    3) some people will never like you, no matter what you do.

    Make sure you are comfortable with who you are. That is the first and only important thing. If you like yourself you can just be yourself. That might even turn a lot of people away from you, but those who stay do it because they really like you.

    What you call fear is just anxiety. That is why you must be comfortable with yourself first, so you just breathe in, breathe out, smile and look people in the eye a little bit. You are much more engaging doing it like that. That is the kind of confidence that most people respect.

    Social occasions are about survival. Get there, smile, be polite, do not hide. It can be tough at first, but it will get easier as the minutes fly by. It is okay to be nervous, so be comfortable with yourself first, breathe slowly, calm down and show how nice you can be

  9. #9
    I hate social situations with forced small talk.

    I hate "bothered silence".

    People should really learn how to just be silent without it being awkward.
    People should learn how to shut up when they have nothing important to say.

    The thing I like about my best friends is that we can be silent for hours without it being awkward. Or on the other hand we can talk about stuff for hours to end without it being forced.

  10. #10
    Moderator Remilia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Typrax View Post
    The thing is, I just experienced something that totally surprised me. I was in a social setting, and I was totally fine until a certain person showed up. I knew this person was going to be there, and I thought I could handle it. Then they show up, and it's like a wave of fear just hits me in the face. I can't even explain it. I guess it was like getting punched in the stomach out of nowhere and having the wind knocked out of you. How do you face this kind of fear?
    Eh, I know what you mean, but I got more used to it. I went from a "worry about what they think" to "I don't give a shit about you" thinking somehow... Can't really do much to be honest, you have to get used to it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Erradic View Post
    Ive seen your sig around sooo much tonight... and i must say it kind of bothers me lol.
    Its QB, it trolls you. Seems like its working.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Typrax View Post
    The thing is, I just experienced something that totally surprised me. I was in a social setting, and I was totally fine until a certain person showed up. I knew this person was going to be there, and I thought I could handle it. Then they show up, and it's like a wave of fear just hits me in the face. I can't even explain it. I guess it was like getting punched in the stomach out of nowhere and having the wind knocked out of you. How do you face this kind of fear?
    I face it by knocking myself around mentally for a bit. Have courage, and I believe it's not courage if you're not afraid in the first place; it's only courage if you fear something and still maintain yourself. So I kinda mock myself internally, piss myself off so that the fear is overridden. Of course, that won't work for everyone, but if you haven't tried that, it's worth a shot. Or detach yourself emotionally from the situation if possible. Think clearly.

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Remilia View Post


    Its QB, it trolls you. Seems like its working.
    It definitely is lol. like i wish i could block it or soemthing

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Digglett View Post
    Might be a odd question for you, and you don't have to answer if its too personal, but did that particular person do anything to you? Or was this just a random feeling that never really comes up?
    Negative. It's hard to tell when this feeling comes up, but I think it has to do with people who appear to have more status than me, or more social standing. Basically anyone who I feel is better than I am.

    ---------- Post added 2011-05-27 at 01:23 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Mavecryst View Post
    I face it by knocking myself around mentally for a bit. Have courage, and I believe it's not courage if you're not afraid in the first place; it's only courage if you fear something and still maintain yourself. So I kinda mock myself internally, piss myself off so that the fear is overridden. Of course, that won't work for everyone, but if you haven't tried that, it's worth a shot. Or detach yourself emotionally from the situation if possible. Think clearly.
    I agree with this. I've found that it helps somewhat if you find your fears exhilarating and plunge into them for a rush. Still, I can't get that to work with things like certain social interactions yet.

  14. #14
    Legendary! Digglett's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Typrax View Post
    Negative. It's hard to tell when this feeling comes up, but I think it has to do with people who appear to have more status than me, or more social standing. Basically anyone who I feel is better than I am.
    Ah, I can understand that, you're probably worried of them judging you or something, I sometimes get that way too, I highly dislike when someone brings someone over for dinner in my house that I don't know, I get very irritated, I guess I'm afraid of them judging me eating dinner in my pajama shorts, or that they're looking down on my family or something. :<

    I agree, give yourself little mental pep talks, its silly, but it helps a little.


  15. #15
    As a human being you have feelings, but you also have common sense. It is when you combine these two that you can assess whether your fear is needed or not.

    For example: If you see someone in a social situation that might hurt you, fear can be justified. If you just feel intimidated by someone's status it might not be useful. If you would secretly 'like' that person, fear would most likely work counterproductive.

    Fear is nothing but an alarm in your brain, once you realize that you can understand it. Panic is different however and never a good thing.
    Fear isn't bad, as long as you learn to recognize and control it.
    Quod sumus hoc eritis! Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!

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