It's been a long time since Rhonin Diaries launched, and I have no idea how things progressed post third installment. I've actually stopped playing WoW for awhile now since more important things in life need to be addressed, so I am kinda out of the whole loop entirely (do people still use this site?). Anyway I wanted to revisit something from the series (because ideas have been all up in my head and wont go away).
*DISCLAIMER:* This is a long post.
I created the character Sar'jin, a troll shadow hunter in the original Rhonin Diaries. He was initially a shadowy (...weird...) and malicious figure, with intentions that weren't entirely clear. There was some stalking, a little gnome evisceration — regular stuff. Eventually it's revealed that Sar'jin is in fact aiding the main heroes and off they go to save the day.
I don't remember all of the in-between awesomeness, but at some point (end of first installment?) Sar'jin is left in the Emerald Dream and totally hooks up with Ysera, gaining some of her power (sweet). Blah, blah, blah, stuff happens and (end of the second installment?) Sar'jin returns all dark and spooky and “turns” one of Trilokvia / Neph's kids to aide him. Things got really weird in the third installment and I couldn't keep up and had to bail. Thus the following post is how I wanted to conclude the character of Sar'jin.
For those who don't know what's up, check the original story. This might just be insider's nostalgia for a handful of people, idk. Either way, this is not suppose to be a resurrection of the series, I just wanted to share the personal closure I came up with as a short story.
Cheers to everyone that participated in that epic and ridiculous adventure.
---------- Post added 2011-05-30 at 09:01 PM ----------
The adventurers have made it! Arriving so late, I thought my little invitation was somewhat unclear. I offer you this one last chance to truly save the world and be part of something greater than yourselves. Through the Emerald Dream I have seen the end of this world. I have seen the destruction you and the other mortals will inevitably cause. I cannot let that end manifest, I will not let all life spiral into darkness because of ignorant and petty quarrels. Look around you. Look around! War. Pain. Famine. Cruelty. Hatred. Do you wish me to continue?
No! No, don't think for a moment that those pitiful moments, those drops in the ocean negate or override everything else in this world. All of this war — and for what?! A bigger slice of land that should belong to no one? More resources to consume? What?! You fight for power and control and greed, all of you! During my time in the Emerald Dream I have seen the world as it should have been. You do not understand what I do because you have not seen. It is impossible to fully understand, for if you had experienced as I have, the guilt and remorse would have broken you utterly.
In nature, organisms seek to live within their means. Obviously there are predators and there are prey pitted against one another, but they are merely components belonging to one unified system. When rain falls and the grass is plentiful antelope thrive. Subsequently the lion can feast on the abundance of meat. Yet in times of drought all the creatures starve and thus the herds are cleansed. Through all of this, is nature blamed for being unmerciful? An earthquake or a volcano could be “unfortunate”, but can they ever be deemed unnecessary? Are these events “evil”?
Well... I mean...
(laughing) Of course not! Nature retains balance. Always. Forcibly if required. And yet you mortals have done and will continue to do anything in your power to circumnavigate that balance in the name of greed, masked under a veil of self-preservation. All creatures can live in harmony, but you vehemently refuse. Viral conquest! You are the wolf who grows tired of elk and deer and soon wants more. Survival is no longer the goal, for it is replaced with power and conquest and a lust for annihilation. Anything that stands in your path must be destroyed. So what happens when you win? What happens when you finally conquer all the lands, subjugate all the creature and wipe out your opponents? There is no mountain left to climb. A tyrannic rule is noble and just? No. Fractions will occur and new opponents will rise. Your lust cannot be sated and you will burn the world to ashes around your feet before imploding.
No, it needn't come to that. This world deserves better. Nature retains balance. Forcibly if required.
So here I stand — forcibly. Here I am, the entity that you yourself inadvertently created. I am the power that Ysera and the Emerald Dream manifested to counter-act your abominable behavior. The farther mortals stray from equilibrium the harder you are snapped back.
Ironically you would destroy this world in order to preserve life.
Re-balance this world. The destruction of an individual does not equate to the destruction of the whole. Your misconception derives from a narrow world-view, with you perpetually at the center... just like everyone else. You insist on being something special... something unique. Individuals reliant on a collective system that are somehow independent from it. How delightfully entertaining. Delusional.
As a shadow hunter, I understand the darkness. Fore every source of light there is a shadow, a necessary shadow! Without the shadow we would be blinded by eternal light, unable to see or function. And so both light and shadow must eternally co-exist, a symbiotic necessity of opposing forces. Do not confuse this relationship with mortal-made constructs like “good” and “evil”. There is no bias between the light and shadow, only a relationship of necessity. I understand the darkness and I am not afraid to use it.
“Good and Evil” hrmph! The very concept is a fallacy begat by humans and the other races. For at all times you seek to justify actions: what you do is noble and righteous and honorable because you yourself must be “good”. Conversely by definition, anything or anyone that opposes your intentions must be “evil”, so you find ways to demonize and manifest enemies, strictly in order to have something to fight against. Yet these “others” are not so different from you. In turn they create the same illusion for themselves; pretending their cause is “good” and yours is “evil”. They are noble and it is in fact you who encroaches upon them and their ways. You both share the same convoluted outlook and are equals in deficiency.
How dare you? I've seen what those monsters have done! My family, my homeland...
Which monsters? The humans or the orcs? Elves? Forsaken? They have all committed such atrocities against each other. They have defiled your home, so you must exact vengeance upon theirs. But now you have defiled their homes, so they must exact vengeance in turn, and thus the cycle perpetuates.
Again, this convoluted notion of “good and evil” is a mortal creation, developed as a means to justify your abhorred behavior and lie to yourselves in order to sleep peacefully at night — free from the encroaching nightmares.
For in nature there is no “good and evil” there are no “sides”... there just is. Life is not inherently good. Life can be a plague, like you and you and your kind. Death is not evil. It is peace and tranquility. Life inevitably leads to death, which in turn begets new life, for nature is merely a cycle of energy where all of the components are essential. Life and death do not pick sides, they are not constrained by your pitiful attempts to domesticate. It is through your own lens that these misbegotten labels have been attributed, and qualities assigned haphazardly. Life and death, death and life. They depend on perspective and context — both are relative.
Even now you arbitrarily define me as “evil” since I stand here in opposition. Yet I can guarantee that your regular enemies shall share your sentiments for I endanger them as well. Ironically, does this now make your enemies allies? Are they suddenly less bad now that you are unified against a larger threat?
Your flaw comes from a misplaced value on life. Not to say that the demons have it correct and that all life should be exterminated, but rather that you mortals are the true counter and opposite when you believe all life should be valued and preserved. Both extremes are equally incorrect. Death comes as a necessary component to the life cycle, which is inherently an ill defined term. Living is not the true focus, but instead our attention should focus on energy.
The death of a tree provides nutrients and energy for moss or fungus or maggots; filthy and disgusting creatures, which in turn form a necessary food source for birds and other small creatures. One beast killing the previous, gaining nutrients until even the ultimate predator dies... enriching the soil with their decaying matter and allowing the birth of a new tree. Don't you see? Without death this energy cycle collapses. Everlasting life prevents life from forming!
But you don't want that, of course not! Mortals are selfish and only want immortality for themselves. You are better, more important, more significant than the lesser creatures; the beasts and the weeds. Take the antelopes of the plains. If there were no predators, the antelopes could leap and graze to their hearts content; growing and prospering forever! But the grass does not follow suit because as we just addressed not everything can afford the same luxury. Thus the infinite antelope populace cannot sustain itself on a finite resource of grass and eventually they starve themselves. Enter the lion. Now a predator can thin the herd, and again grow and grow in their prosperity. Yet again, they reach a limitation and the lions only have so many antelope to consume, there is only so much energy available. The strong survive and the weak perform the necessary act of dying. Thus nature finds its balance.
Everyone knows about the lions and their ecosystem...
But you don't! No, you only understand the concept, not the full application. Don't you understand? The mortal races withdraw themselves from the equation, think they are somehow above these conditions. You seek to manipulate the system, alter the cycles of energy for your own personal and selfish gain, all while breaking down the balance around you. You are not greater than the powers of nature, only delusional in your attempts to pretend. Your way of life endangers your very way of life!
You are just like all the rest — mad with power!
Have you heard nothing I've said? “Power” holds no connotation, just like good and evil, but rather the application of power, the intentions behind its use govern the perspective, and those are a reflection of the beholder. The creation of a new world is what I seek, one free from constant war and ravaging destruction. Your kind will finally be brought back into the fold, but so will your enemies and their kind. As for me, the ego of “self” ends with this final act. While I have the ability to perform this great feat, I lack the fortitude to survive the ordeal. Saving this world will consume me, but I am just a single component of the whole. I understand my place and hold no fear of death. I do not seek a new world to lord over because this is not about me. This is bigger than me, than you — all of us are but single entities relying on a greater system!
It is in fact you who is mad with power — thinking you can overcome the powers of the natural world in order to obtain your own eds. Only the utmost selfishness could drive a person thus. It is because of this selfishness that you stand in my way.
Nature always finds a way to balance out the lands. Forests become grasslands, plains to marshes, and the wild creatures adapting and changing as necessary. You however, and the other mortal races, do not wish to change, to respond, to fit, to understand. Instead you only seek to control what is uncontrollable. And instead of accepting that truth you see the impossible as a challenge that can be conquered, thus trying harder and harder to master your destruction.
While “unfortunate”, do you place blame on a flood or an earthquake? These events just happen because they are components to the natural cycle. Famine, plague — all sorts of “disasters” manifest as a means to control populations and maintain a necessary balance. I am no different. In a way, you created me, this necessity. The more equilibrium is skewed to the side, the greater the returning force becomes. Drastic times call for drastic measures, as your kind puts it, and my measures shall be viciously efficient.
Yet I do not envy my own position, nor delight in my actions. In fact it should never have even come to this point. I do not seek my own death, merely understand and accept the necessity of it.
Within the Emerald Dream I saw not what this world could have been, but more directly what is should have been. The vision was not a possibility, but rather the intended reality. It is the current life you live now that is the mistake — the unintended and deviated path. It was a mistake for the gods to grant you your abilities, yet while I have no power over them, I have been tasked with resetting this world to original prosperity.
For once, just once, release your fear. Surpass irrationality and emotions; take in reason and logic and truth. Stop acting on your heart and use the intellect of your mind!
How? What exactly would you have me do?
Nothing. For once do nothing. Stop acting, stop doing, stop meddling — stop controlling. Stand aside and do not interfere; let go. For once just let nature run its course. You do not need trust, you do not need faith. Think on all I have said and you yourself will understand that all I say is true.