Encyclopedia Dramatica on WoW

[Deleted]

pretty damn funny omg.

• Humans - The only available race where players can feel safe without having to know they aren't some retarded mutant like in IRL. The men are abnormally bulky and the women have unusually largeheads.
• Dwarves - The dwarves may be Jewish: Huge noses, long beards, retarded dances, and a racial ability to find treasure.
• Gnomes - This race is commonly played by 13-year-old boys who spend all day PvPing instead of graduating middle school. Due to their small size, this is also a favorite race of pedophiles. In addition, they can be used as cannonballs in a pinch. Gnome players will generally use names with the word "gnome" in it because it's hilarious.
• Night Elves - The whores of the Warcraft world, closely modeled off of real whores, and the closest thing Blizzard has gotten to anime in order to increase sales due to all the stupid Naruto fanboys out there. Mostly played as female by men to get attention from other men and epic lewt under the guise of being a hot MySpace whore. Also fans of Al Gore and friends of the environment. Night elves live in trees as a political statement are most likely Liberal douchebags.
• Draenei - The first expansion race gives the Alliance big blue Russian aliens with penis-tails for their beard. They can be found inShattrath City, getting drugs from their dealers known as Naaru.
• Worgen - Because so many wolfaboos bitched over how the Alliance didn't have a furry class of their own, Blizzard decided to be retarded and give them what they want. Now every user will be yiffing each other as soon as they buy the damn expansion.

The Horde

The Horde consists of a mixture of neckbeards, fat, and acne. They will always win in PvP matches and kill the dragons first. The amount of points in Internet damage they can do is directly proportional to their weight in pounds. Everyone is a goddamn Blood Elf.

• Orcs - Orcs are big, have an unusual skin color, and prone to anally rape small moving things with battle axes. Players who use this race are whiter than white.
• Trolls - They talk like Rasta men and probably smoke a ton of mojo, mon.
• Undead - Goths use these, period. Just start smoking Djarum Blacks now. Also a favorite of PvPers because they're impossible to kill.
• Tauren - This race is the ideal race for furries and neckbeards. Half of the Tauren userbase will have the word "moo" or "cow" in their names because they think they are clever and internet-funny, when in reality they need to cut off circulation to their dick and set themselves on fire.
• Blood Elves - The other ridiculously faggoty elf race of the game. Joined the Horde BAWWWWWing because the Alliance wouldn't give them respect. Surprisingly, neither does the Horde. The males look like a cross between rejected Sephiroth/Dragon Ball Z fanart and the females are anorexic bitches. By law, all blood elves are named some variant of "Legolas". Any other name is unacceptable.
• Goblins - A clever mix of gnomes, orcs, and Jews. Like gnomes, they're popular with the rest of the races for their potential use as projectiles and footballs. Unlike gnomes however, they violently explode when used as such.

The race descriptions, ofcourse insulting. Omg xD

Also don't take this seriously people, just lol at it.

[Spondoo]

LOL. Updated and as accurate as ever.

[TheConsumer]

HAhahahhahahahhah. It really is funny.

[Deleted]

Class descriptions, some of these omg, too funny.

• Warrior - All you do is melee combat things for countless hours of your life, nothing more. No one will expect you to do anything but act as a meat shield. No one trusts you enough to DPS.

• Paladin- Everybody expects this class to heal, and if you do anything else, people will hate you. Because it makes perfect sense that the class in full plate should stand in the back and heal. Paladins may be mods, as they drop large hammers on other players while they hide in a bubble so that Noone can do anything to them. After they get bored they will cast a 10 second long spell that teleports them to Japan. All paladin names are variations on "Arthas".

• Hunter - Most popular class for CASUALS. You capture poor, defenseless animals and make them your slave. It's also the base of every argument on thottbot.com to dictate that every weapon is a"hunter weapon" considering ranged only classes need +Strength for their 3 melee attacks. Hunter names are unremarkable, however their pets' names are always hilarious; exempli gratia; spiders named WEBU or cats named QUIETDETH.

• Priest - The whiny healing bitch. Played only by faggots who like to attend 80-man raids on a finicky AOL connection. Their purpose is to beat the tank in aggro to die and fuck over the raid group. All priest names are a variation of "Nohealsforyou". Blood Elf Priests LOVE the name "Priestitute" (no matter which gender is their character).

• Mage - Only for making food and water for the Koreans; serves as a dispenser. All mage names are a variation of "Frostitute".

• Shaman - The most overpowered class in the game. Shamans can plant some stupid totems that do nothing, but they can also heal themselves while dealing ridiculous amounts of damage and immediately come back to life when they are killed. Shamans are brought to raids for their ability to pass out amphetamines and speed up the raid quickly through boring content.

• Druid - The class where you can become MOAR FURRY, or otherwise just serve as another healing bitch. They are clearly a cheap hybrid-class knockoff of the superior paladins. The previous sentence is guaranteed to cause EXTREME FUCKING RAGE in chat. All druid names are a pun on "tree" or "moonkin".

• Warlock - Like hunters, but Satanic. If you enjoy being a huge, overpowered faggot, warlockery is for you. Requires being able to hit five buttons (four if you're Destruction spec), those wacky warlocks! Usually played by trenchcoat-wearing goth sodomites. All lock names are puns on "DOT", and I do mean ALL lock names.

• Rogue- The bane of life on the "pvp" server. Also, the lulziest class in the game. This class is only played by 13 year-old boys. Rogues only require you to be able to hit one button. Modeled after the classic rapist, Rogues are commonly seen in PvP applying poisons andincapacitating other players to facilitate a full-on rectal assault to gather combo points and unleash a finishing move. All names include "shank", "stab", "shadowstep" or some combination of the three.

• Death Knight - The first "Hero Class" in the game introduced with about an hour of quests in new locations YOU WILL NEVER FUCKING SEE OR MAKE REFERENCE TO EVER AGAIN. Introduced in the second expansion (see below), they start out evil but are soon presto-changeo'd into good guys so they can fit in with the rest of society. This is the exciting brand new class that everyone makes, but no one will bother inviting because there are TOO FUCKING MANY. They are as useless as warriors, as Blizzard was creative enough to make them exactly like such. The only new thing this class comes with is a character voice that sounds like they have semen trapped in their lungs. While the Blizzard Employee was writing code for the Death Knight, he realized that all files have completed downloading and decided to choke the chode rather than design a playable class. As a result, blizzard has promised changes to Death Knights in the nextexpansion so that everyone won't leave when they see a death knight in their dungeon group. Death Knight names are possibly the best thing about the game. Unfailingly hilarious; some examples that actually exist: Dethmurda, Kilraper, Dalichking (every DK is named some variation of this), Bluddymrda, and the ever-suave Eaturpusi.

[Suikoden]

Class descriptions, some of these omg, too funny.

• Warrior - All you do is melee combat things for countless hours of your life, nothing more. No one will expect you to do anything but act as a meat shield. No one trusts you enough to DPS.

• Paladin- Everybody expects this class to heal, and if you do anything else, people will hate you. Because it makes perfect sense that the class in full plate should stand in the back and heal. Paladins may be mods, as they drop large hammers on other players while they hide in a bubble so that Noone can do anything to them. After they get bored they will cast a 10 second long spell that teleports them to Japan. All paladin names are variations on "Arthas".

• Hunter - Most popular class for CASUALS. You capture poor, defenseless animals and make them your slave. It's also the base of every argument on thottbot.com to dictate that every weapon is a"hunter weapon" considering ranged only classes need +Strength for their 3 melee attacks. Hunter names are unremarkable, however their pets' names are always hilarious; exempli gratia; spiders named WEBU or cats named QUIETDETH.

• Priest - The whiny healing bitch. Played only by faggots who like to attend 80-man raids on a finicky AOL connection. Their purpose is to beat the tank in aggro to die and fuck over the raid group. All priest names are a variation of "Nohealsforyou". Blood Elf Priests LOVE the name "Priestitute" (no matter which gender is their character).

• Mage - Only for making food and water for the Koreans; serves as a dispenser. All mage names are a variation of "Frostitute".

• Shaman - The most overpowered class in the game. Shamans can plant some stupid totems that do nothing, but they can also heal themselves while dealing ridiculous amounts of damage and immediately come back to life when they are killed. Shamans are brought to raids for their ability to pass out amphetamines and speed up the raid quickly through boring content.

• Druid - The class where you can become MOAR FURRY, or otherwise just serve as another healing bitch. They are clearly a cheap hybrid-class knockoff of the superior paladins. The previous sentence is guaranteed to cause EXTREME FUCKING RAGE in chat. All druid names are a pun on "tree" or "moonkin".

• Warlock - Like hunters, but Satanic. If you enjoy being a huge, overpowered faggot, warlockery is for you. Requires being able to hit five buttons (four if you're Destruction spec), those wacky warlocks! Usually played by trenchcoat-wearing goth sodomites. All lock names are puns on "DOT", and I do mean ALL lock names.

• Rogue- The bane of life on the "pvp" server. Also, the lulziest class in the game. This class is only played by 13 year-old boys. Rogues only require you to be able to hit one button. Modeled after the classic rapist, Rogues are commonly seen in PvP applying poisons andincapacitating other players to facilitate a full-on rectal assault to gather combo points and unleash a finishing move. All names include "shank", "stab", "shadowstep" or some combination of the three.

• Death Knight - The first "Hero Class" in the game introduced with about an hour of quests in new locations YOU WILL NEVER FUCKING SEE OR MAKE REFERENCE TO EVER AGAIN. Introduced in the second expansion (see below), they start out evil but are soon presto-changeo'd into good guys so they can fit in with the rest of society. This is the exciting brand new class that everyone makes, but no one will bother inviting because there are TOO FUCKING MANY. They are as useless as warriors, as Blizzard was creative enough to make them exactly like such. The only new thing this class comes with is a character voice that sounds like they have semen trapped in their lungs. While the Blizzard Employee was writing code for the Death Knight, he realized that all files have completed downloading and decided to choke the chode rather than design a playable class. As a result, blizzard has promised changes to Death Knights in the nextexpansion so that everyone won't leave when they see a death knight in their dungeon group. Death Knight names are possibly the best thing about the game. Unfailingly hilarious; some examples that actually exist: Dethmurda, Kilraper, Dalichking (every DK is named some variation of this), Bluddymrda, and the ever-suave Eaturpusi.

I loved the druid bit. rofl

[Digglett]

Shaman - The most overpowered class in the game. Shamans can plant some stupid totems that do nothing, but they can also heal themselves while dealing ridiculous amounts of damage and immediately come back to life when they are killed. Shamans are brought to raids for their ability to pass out amphetamines and speed up the raid quickly through boring content.

I laughed not because it was funny, but because it was untrue. (After Vanilla, of course)

I'm talking about the overpowered bit.

[Deleted]

I laughed not because it was funny, but because it was untrue. (After Vanilla, of course)

I'm talking about the overpowered bit.

Notice the Bloodlust reference btw? :P

[Digglett]

Notice the Bloodlust reference btw? :P

It's over my head.

*tired*

[Deleted]

---------- Post added 2011-07-06 at 01:47 AM ----------

It's over my head.

*tired*

They are able to pass out amphetamines to speed up content. :P

[blackangel209]

Hovering over the links just adds to the greatness of reading these.

[Digglett]

They are able to pass out amphetamines to speed up content. :P

Ha, I did miss that part, good stuff.

[Spondoo]

The class part is really outdated. A lot of that would apply to what Vanilla/BC was like. Except DKs ofc.

[Failmuffins]

"Blood Elf Priests LOVE the name "Priestitute" (no matter which gender is their character)."

So true.

[Deleted]

Yeah you are right the class descriptions are pretty old.

[Noomz]

The only part I even laughed at was the dwarf one.

[Deleted]

The only part I even laughed at was the dwarf one.

'I even laughed at' so the rest sucks?

[Kavoo]

We have a Priestute on our guild

[Mews]

The Dwarf one...LOL!

[Atrosity]

Lol amphetamines to speed of the process, love it.