Payback on a thief.

[Damsbo]

IDK if this is the right forum, either way, here it is.

Mkay, so I live in a dorm with a shared kitchen. In that kitchen there are seperate fridges. In each fridge, every recident have a shelf.
Last week i went grocery shopping, went to my room to relax, went back down an hour later to eat; and it was all gone. I dont mean a slice of cheese, but everything in my shelf... gone. Each shelf has a name and door number, so no one gets confused about which shelf belongs to who.

I spend my last money on the food, and are now broke.

Here's when it gets interesting: I know a chef, i borrowed 3 of the strongest chili's he could get his hands on, and some paste. I then sliced of the top of the paste (you know that brown lair) and blended the chili with the paste. Then put down the new substance back in to the original container, and placed the top back on. Took a little out of it, so it looks like a wee bit has been eaten, then placed it in my shelf in the fridge. - Should my new nemesis put this substance into his mouth, it will burn for 7 days. Should he swallow it.. Well, he'd instantly shit in his pants, and be put to the hospital.

My question is, too far?

PS. I know the thief likes paste, because he/she stole 500 gram of it.

EDIT: This morning, the 22th, my newly bought carton of milk was stolen, the paste wasnt touched. I'm going on a smaller holiday, will be back on thursday, the paste will be in place until then. Guys, any ideas what to do with a liquid such as milk, that can ruin this guys week?

EDITEDIT: got back this afternoon, nothing has been touched - but the other guys here, have all had their milk stolen. I think im gonna try the "put nasty shit in the milk"! - Anyways, thanks for the help guys!

EDITEDITEDIT: After messing with the milk, it wasn't touched. It's like this mofo is in my head! Yesterday, he stole my bread and some cheese. Not all of it this time.. I'm thinking; Replace ALL food 'n drink in the fridge, and borrow my lads fridge who lives close by. That way, I'dd be sure he's to step into my trap. What do you think?

[Bluey111]

i think you want the off topic forum

[Deleted]

nothing like a good practical joke!
although have you tried any other methods? or was your frist though to go and get the hottest chilli stuff you can?

[Damsbo]

idk if I can redirect the thread, imma noob in the whole "make a topic" world.

- I tried to ask the other recidents if they've had similar experiences. They all had.. I put an angry note up, but that made me feel stupid

[ELYPOP]

Moved to General Offtopic.

[Deleted]

No, it isn't even enough. Something similar happened to my father's food when he was young. He then filled a fruitcake with vaseline, and the idiot who kept stealing ate it.

[Deleted]

I recommend you to go to pharmacy, buy some powerful laxative, mix it with food, hide toilet paper, enjoy

[kATTEKONGEN]

I recommend you to go to pharmacy, buy some powerful laxative, mix it with food, hide toilet paper, enjoy

This is the key to win, remember to use at least a couple of containers.

[Grizzlerr]

nah that's not too far at all. He deserves it for stealing from you. Please let us know what ends up happening it sounds like it could be absolutely hilarious.

[ishootblanks]

see what you need to do is slowly build up an immunity to some deadly poison.. and then just put some in all of your food.. problem solved! Inigo Montoya style!

option B is as follows.. if you are in a small town with pro-active police.. call them! just ask if they can assist or give you ideas on how to handle it. I know where I grew up the police would help with things like this.. I'm sure you've heard stories.. little kid steals something from the store.. parent calls police to "teach" their kid.. the kid is obviously scared out of their mind.. and kid learns to not steal!

[MerinPally]

Cover your shelf with food to hide a note you put underneath, then that note should read "I know who you are - do yourself a favour and sleep with your back against the wall"

[Deleted]

I hope he likes spicy food. OOH BOY.

[soniqboom]

I recommend you to go to pharmacy, buy some powerful laxative, mix it with food, hide toilet paper, enjoy

this for sure! get a jar on nutella chocolate spread or something and mix the laxative chocolate into that, also whats that stuff you can drink that makes u puke uncontrolably a few mins after downing it? (saw a vid on youtube a while back where some american tv show did it as a prank with a cash prize lol) that stuff sure as shit would make him pay.

[Sarynn]

see what you need to do is slowly build up an immunity to some deadly poison.. and then just put some in all of your food.. problem solved! Inigo Montoya style!

Nice reference, wrong character, Wesley is the one you're thinking of,and yes, yes I just replied to this thread solely to correct that.

[Sylf]

Is people really so desperate that they would steal food that's been opened/eaten from?

I don't really think it will work for you :/ But good luck

[Mancowski]

Hmm. Just say you beat off on a certain item in there.

[zexcis]

see what you need to do is slowly build up an immunity to some deadly poison.. and then just put some in all of your food.. problem solved! Inigo Montoya style!

I believe you're thinking of the Dread Pirate Roberts.

[Velkeri]

Pretty much did the same thing. People in my dorm would even eat my damn leftovers of old Chinese food???? And what would make me mad was it was normally my roommates girlfriend's friend so I dont even know her. Half the time It was this other guy I took care of them quickly a nice little laxative in some food did the trick. She never even came back to the dorm after that ;]

[xenaros]

Good plan! Someone at work (not my area) was stealing people's lunches from the fridge on a daily basis. The manager installed a camera to spot the thief but said nothing was seen, the lads put up another camera secretly and saw the manager taking all of the food. Apparently he had an eating disorder, still no reason to steal, he got the sack.

[phyto]

this for sure! get a jar on nutella chocolate spread or something and mix the laxative chocolate into that, also whats that stuff you can drink that makes u puke uncontrolably a few mins after downing it? (saw a vid on youtube a while back where some american tv show did it as a prank with a cash prize lol) that stuff sure as shit would make him pay.

ipucac or something. I would recommend using the laxative and ipucac together. It would be pure win. Things coming out both holes are much harder to control than only one.