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This guy really deserves to sell his TomTom. Just read the description. And someone buy him a beer.
*notice* I don't know the guy, just read the description and though it was funny enough to share. If this counts as advertising, feel free to delete the thread with my apologies.
Recent Forum Posts
Thread: Best ebay description ever
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2011-09-25, 07:02 PM #1The Lightbringer
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
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- Somewhere in KY, USA
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Best ebay description ever
I don't argue to be right, I argue to be proven wrong. Because I'm aware that the collective intelligence of the community likely has more to offer to me by enlightening me, than I do to an individual by "winning" an argument with them.
Originally Posted by belfpala
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2011-09-25, 07:11 PM #2Brewmaster
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
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- 1,298
So people don't have to click the link:
This was my wife's, may her knicker draw be infested with the fleas of a thousand Camels...
The Go 700 was once the top of the range Sat Nav from TomTom, with an internal Hard Disk Drive instead of the traditional SD Card, and had full Bluetooth and Wireless capabilities.
I bought this for the back-stabbing harlot, some four or five years ago, before she met Nigel with the Little Penis, and it cost me over £400...
As bless her cheating little heart, she gets lost driving out of the street...perhaps without this she would never have found the way to Nigels door, nor perhaps his stain riddled bed...
Her infidelity was discovered when I took her car for an MOT, and while waiting, I was tinkering with the Sat Nav and noticed that all her recent journeys had all been to Nigel's...
So, like any normal human, I reprogrammed Nigel's address to one in a town far far away...
My wife bless her treacherous ways, didn't realise there was anything amiss until she was driving East along the M4.
She then tried to act all innocent and lying through her cherry red venemous snake lips, asked if I could sort out her beloved TomTom as something was terribly wrong with it: when she used it to drive to her sisters it took her along the M4.
I presume her sister means Nigel with the erectile problems...
With the anger of the betrayed I said I would, but my frustration and anger caused me to accidently delete all the files from the internal drive instead...
Words were spoken, accusations were made... The air hung heavy and was coloured blue with profanity...
I find it difficult to believe her claims that this is all my fault...
I wasn't the one getting lost while travelling to Pencil Dick Nigel's house...
After much arguing she has decided her future lies in the squallor of Nigel's cockroach infested hovell...
Good luck to them both... may the ten plagues of Egypt visit their stained adulterous bed...
I now have her TomTom Go 700 but have no idea how to reinstall the software, and really I don't want the reminder of the cheating, lying, heartless, creature of the night.
All the other accessories are still in her car, so I hope they are happy living at Nigels together.
Therefore this auction is just for the TomTom Go 700 itself...
I'm sure someone somewhere can make this work...
As an after thought...
There is no returns for this...I really don't want it back...
The auction Starts at a low but fair £20 and all proceeds will go to taking me out on a bloody good night with copious amounts of alcahol, wine, women, and song...and if the price is right...maybe a curry to boot...
So please bid with confidence that all proceeds are for a very worthy cause...
Good Luck
Oh and Postage is for UK only So anywhere else contact me for a price to anywhere else...
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2011-09-25, 07:45 PM #3Bloodsail Admiral
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
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- England :D
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Feel sorry for the guy :/ But it was quite entertaining to read :P
Originally Posted by Drakhar
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2011-09-25, 07:53 PM #4Deleted
Sad story indeed, hope someone buys the navigator!
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2011-09-25, 07:55 PM #5Grunt
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
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- 21
Good read but kind of sad lol.
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2011-09-25, 07:57 PM #6Immortal
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- Dec 2010
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MOST epic read all week, that was great yea feel sorry for the poor guy but dam he has a wicked way with words, I hope she reads it
Desktop: Zotac 1080 TI, I7 7700k, 16gb Ram, 256gb SSD + 1TB HDD
Laptop: Zotac 2070 MaxQ, I7 8750, 32gb RAM, 500gb SSD + 2TB SSD
Main Game: Warcraft Classic
Haters gonna hate
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2011-09-25, 07:58 PM #7Deleted
This guy is awesome
.
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2011-09-25, 07:59 PM #8Stood in the Fire
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
- Posts
- 373
This man will get many pity bids and end up selling it for a *lot* more than it's worth. And he deserves it.
---------- Post added 2011-09-25 at 04:00 PM ----------
OP, there have been at least 6 bids added since you posted this. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
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2011-09-25, 08:01 PM #9Deleted
poor guy
---------- Post added 2011-09-25 at 09:02 PM ----------
lol the bids up to £720
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2011-09-25, 08:02 PM #10Mechagnome
- Join Date
- Apr 2010
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- The Woods
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This could just be a very clever way to get more for an item than it's worth.
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2011-09-25, 08:04 PM #11Fluffy Kitten
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
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- 8,080
Wow...someone must be feeling charitable, $1,111 usd for a TomTom? That'll cheer the guy up lol
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2011-09-25, 08:05 PM #12Bloodsail Admiral
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
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This guy has appeared in newspaper stories in some of the rags that pass for news sources in the UK. (Daily mail to name but one) Originally Posted by Bear
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2011-09-25, 08:07 PM #13Mechagnome
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- Dec 2010
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- In a crawlspace in a desert near you.
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You know if anyone slightly tech savvy bought this since he likely just did a standard delete all you could easily drag the HDD and find old nigel's address out of there..
Farewell WoW Pandaland
Intel i5 2.67 OC 3.3ghz | ATI 6950 850mhz OC 920Stable 950 Push 1000Insane
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2011-09-25, 08:08 PM #14Mechagnome
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Ah, okay. I don't live in the UK so I didn't know. Originally Posted by Activi-T
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2011-09-25, 08:14 PM #15Herald of the Titans
- Join Date
- May 2011
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- 2,943
well there is always two sides to every story, but nobody really deserves to be cheated on.
btw has nobody notices that there is 61 bids and this guy is going to get over 1000$ USD for a broken GPS with no accessories?
hope that guy has fun with the cash, sounds like he needs it.Slaying 8bit dragons with 6 pixel long swords since 1987.
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2011-09-25, 08:16 PM #16Deleted
Epic salesmanship right there.
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2011-09-25, 08:19 PM #17I am Murloc!
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That guy is my hero, what a boss
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2011-09-25, 08:24 PM #18The Lightbringer
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- Behind you, what I'm not? Then who's this person I'm behind?
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God I love you English people. To think if this is was the "average" break up in the UK.
Last edited by Pud'n; 2011-09-25 at 08:27 PM.
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2011-09-25, 08:28 PM #19High Overlord
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
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- 144
I believe it says in the edits later on that he feels bad somewhat that it is going for some much, and that he might even donate to charity if he does indeed get £720 for a £20-£30 navigator.
Seems like a genuine guy.Earlier today I was actually thinking this is wrong, I’m fit to make a few hundred quid from a SatNav sale that’s probably only worth around £20-£30… I was actually feeling uncomfortable about it…
Karma dictates that what goes around comes around, and seeing as I was fit to make tenfold what the SatNav was worth I was thinking this is going to cost me big, and I was considering donating it to charity.
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2011-09-25, 08:28 PM #20Brewmaster
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
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- Netherlands - Twisting Nether (EU)
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Quite the entertainment to read despite the hell he went through.
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