The end of Taken should have just been Liam Neeson saying "I told you so"
Okay so, Shadow wanted a bed time story. Sure he is already asleep, but I don't give a fuck because I make my own rules. I'M A LOOSE CANNON READY TO BLOW!
All right so uhh... in the story, Digglett just joined the team. Remember Digglett is actually a digglett, but she's really big and has boobs and big muscley arms! Then There is Gunner Recall, who has the power to call guns by phone. He is a zombie with a butt for a face. Then there is the main character, SKELINGTON! I don't know what he looks like. I am assuming normal or kawaii desu. Btw, this is going to be Skeli x Gunner as I feel it is canon.
The three creatures/people talked as they walked through the dark and damp cave, finding that it was much less terrifying if they chatted about whatever inane and disgusting things they liked. For instance, Gunner of course loved talking about butts, while Digglett liked to add "ception" to the ends of things. (This is actually what got her banned from Chat Thread city for the week.) Skelington just enjoyed the conversation and putting the disgusting images in his head. Unconsciously, Gunner's rotting cold hand gently touched Skeli's as their arms swayed. The two of them jumped and pulled their hands back as if they had touched lava. "It's not like I liked that at all!" they screamed at each other, blushing all kawaii desu chan and what not.
Before Digglett could say some kind of other annoying anime thing, they were interrupted by yet ANOTHER voice. Because for some reason people keep walking through these caves. As it turns out there are legit mushrooms everywhere that go great as either toppings for pizza or drugs, which is why people roam around the caves so much.
"Hey, kids. Want what I'm selling?" a dark voice murmured. It was a shadowy man in a trench coat. His details could not be defined because he was so shadowed. Do you see where I'm going here yet? "The name is Shadow, I sell things that may or may not be drugs or pizza toppings of some kind."
The three amigos looked at each other, debating if they wanted to go down the road of debauchery and possible Hell. "Sure," they nodded casually. But when they looked back, the man was gone!
"Where did he go?" Digglett asked, thinking it strange that a person would just INTRODUCE THEMSELVES and leave mid question. So they shrugged and kept walking, nearing their destination.
"Oh hey," Shadow whispered again, suddenly next to the three of friends (or whatever) and startling them. "Yeah, so you want the pizza toppings right? I uh, lost them. Dunno what happened. Sold em to someone else named uhh Shutdown. Yeah. That's it."
Skelington shook his fist at the suspicious trench coated man. "Don't do that!" he yelled. "Do you know if we're getting closer to any kind of civilization?"
The man nodded and lowered his fedora over his eyes all cool and nifty like. "You're nearing Chat Thread city. Home of debauchery and lawlessness. You sure you wanna go there?"
Skeli sighed. "Well seeing as the exit is blo- god damn it!" Shadow was already gone again. His anger was soon sated when he felt a strange cool breeze hit his face. When he turned around, he could see an expansive city! The cave had opened up completely, revealing a perfectly symmetrical hole in the ground. The cave's walls completely sheltered the city, except for a bit of the ceiling which had a crack in it that let a bit of light shine down.
Skelington could hear blaring horns, strange sounds, and random blinking lights all about the city! It almost appeared to be in ruins just in the distance. Fearing for the worst yet again, the three continued onward into Chat Thread city to make a new life! Or at least kill everyone and steal their stuff.
I think this is a beautiful bedtime story