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  1. #21
    Sounds like you're in the friend zone with the one you really want. Sucks for you. Even when/if she breaks up with her current bf you can be damn sure she won't want to "ruin what [she] has with you".

    I'm also not one of those "sex positive" people who thinks sex just for the sake of sex is an okay thing. I don't really agree with it... but I also don't like football and most of America disagrees with me on that too and we all manage to co-exist anyway.

    Personally, I recommend you tell the young one it'll never happen. Then tell the other one whether or not you can stand being without her. If you can't, tell her you have to be with her or not at all. Girls just don't seem to get that a guy can't be "just friends" with a girl he's into. Even if he says he's okay with it... he's DEFINITELY not. All they're doing is hurting him.

    Seriously girls, if a dude likes you... either go out with him or don't be around him. The last thing he'll ever want to hear about is your problems with your current bf, your crushes (that aren't him) or help you pick out an outfit for a date. If he won't tell you that, it just means he has no balls. Doesn't make it not cruel to put him through that crap.

  2. #22
    So disregard your advice too?
    Sure if he wants, it's no skin off my nose if he wants to follow the advice of random internet forum goers over his own instincts.

  3. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Lilcheeks View Post
    So disregard your advice too?

    ---------- Post added 2011-10-05 at 05:54 PM ----------



    I agree with a lot of this... the part about experiencing sex here though I'd add that being upfront about where you are at is a good idea so that she doesn't think it means anything more than it does.
    Absolutely, you don't want to mislead anyone about your intentions and make sure you verbalize. You never want to assume the other party involved is on the same page as you.

  4. #24
    is this a movie or is this real? lol, come on, man up!

  5. #25
    Personally I feel that both guys and girls can be exactly the same in terms of putting a lot of stock into sex and it making a relationship and also sex just being fun. You can't say all females who have sex with you are in it for marriage and that all guys who have sex don't care. It can be equal for both guys and girls.

    Moving on however, Mikala sounds like it would be that way for her given how she has been after you for a long time. If you are going to do it you need to make it perfectly clear up front that you are not looking for a relationship and judging from how things have gone for you this would be difficult. Do not however, I repeat DO NOT go into it and not say anything because you will regret it and feel horrible and so will she. You should not put someone else through that simply because you want to get some.

    As far as Steph is concerned I agree with the previous poster and you've been friend zoned. While it is possible to get out of this its difficult. For reference never tell a girl how you feel if you've not even gone on a single date/slept together. Trust me it's a bad decision. I'd just chalk this one up as a loss and move on, there's plenty of other fish in the sea.

    So basically your options. Forget Steph, it's done and over with for now. Tell her you are NOT interested in listening to her talk about her boyfriend. She has girlfriends for that. Be a man and she will respect you for it. You can be friends but do not expect to get anything in return except a friendship and if she gives you crap about it, drop her because she's not worth it. Decide if you want to be with Mikala in a relationship or just for friends with benefits. If you want to be in a relationship make things happen but don't tell her that you love her, etc. If you want FWB tell her upfront before ANYTHING happens. Also, women thrive on emotions and jealousy is a very strong emotion. If you start dropping small hints that you are doing stuff with Mikala you can likely expect some comments from Steph but be subtle about it. Don't just go oh yeah, I'm totally banging her. There is a "possible" and that is a strong emphasis on possible that Steph will come after you because she likes you and you triggered some emotions. If she does and you are just FWB with Mikala go for it but if you just started an actual relationship leave it alone. Don't Mikala through that just because you'd rather have Steph. Decide and make it happen and be a man. Go after what you want and speak your mind and people will respect you.

  6. #26
    With Stephanie she's obviously having the same issues trying to choose between her current boyfriend and you. If you end up choosing her I would wait until she drops her boyfriend and then go from there.

    Mikala sounds immature to be honest. However, I would go out on a few dates and see how things go. I wouldn't have sex though. Wait until your in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

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