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  1. #1
    Dreadlord
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    Unhappy Ex-Girlfriend has a new boyfriend.

    So, about a month and a half ago, my girlfriend of 2 and a half years and I broke up. We decided it would be mutual, because although I still loved her, we had been fighting all the time for the two months prior to the breakup. She seemed to take it a lot better than I did, she's flourishing really. Yet I can't seem to get myself back on the ground. She has a lot of guy friends, most of her friends actually are guy friends, and though she tells me that she's not dating any of them it still bothers me. I suppose I'm just jealous or protective.
    But recently she's been going up to orlando (I live in Ft. Lauderdale) a lot to visit some of our old friends and it's become evident to me that she's dating one of our old friends, used to be one of my best friends. Their dating's been confirmed by a friend of mine and she plans to tell me on Tuesday, and I'll probably play it off as if it's completely okay because it doesn't do anybody any good to say it bothers me. Truth is I'm heartbroken and every time I think of her with someone else, hugging, kissing, or god forbid having sex with anyone else I feel not only depressed but angry. I know she'd be in good hands with him at least, but it hurts.
    I've had chances to hook up with people and try new relationships, but it just doesn't seem like the right thing to do.

    Anyone know any tips?
    Last edited by Pendulous; 2011-10-09 at 07:16 AM.

  2. #2
    Stood in the Fire sasofrass's Avatar
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    You could tell her how you feel the next time you see her.

  3. #3
    The Patient Illiata's Avatar
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    Let it go. THat is my advice, I realize you might still have feelings for you, but if this is not mutual, there is no reason in lingering onto the matter further.

    Instead of pining for her, which you admittedly quarreled alot with, why not try going out some more yourself? Meet friends, be social, and might be there is another girl out there somewhere.

  4. #4
    The Lightbringer 4KhazModan's Avatar
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    You are not together anymore, you should not bother yourself with her personal life, as you are no longer any part of it. It will take a while, but eventually you will stop caring what she does. My advice is just move on with your life

  5. #5
    Herald of the Titans Ihnasir's Avatar
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    Forget about her, I dated a girl for 3 and a half years and I'm glad I never have to see her again. Get over it and find someone else even better.

  6. #6
    High Overlord ThatShammy's Avatar
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    First off, I'm sorry man :/ second the only thing that worked for me through experience was time...its been the same situation for me for 1 1/2 years now and i still think about her close to every day....it gets better though man but time is the one thing that heals...and i know thats never the answer anyone wants to hear....just try and keep yourself busy and talk to close friends about it....live day to day and eventually one day you'll be doing something and think "Hey, I havent thought about her all day" and you'll feel a little bit better..and it'll keep getting better from there.... I also tried to get into new things..such as a new job, new hobbies, new music....the more you expand the bigger your network of people will become and you'll start to forget that she's there... Just focus on your life now and what you want to achieve and accomplish and start from there

  7. #7
    Scarab Lord snuzzle's Avatar
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    If you're not ready to move on to a new relationship, don't. Don't force yourself to. It's not fair to yourself, and it's not fair to the girl you'd be dating. That's called rebound, and it almost always ends badly.

    I understand what you're going through-- truth is, I'm in the same place as you, the only difference is my last relationship ended two years ago. It still sucks, but it does get better.

    Be honest with her. Lying and putting up a front that you're okay with it does NO ONE any good. You don't have to go into gritty details, but don't lie either. A simple "No, I'm sorry, I wish you all the best but I'm still not in a place where I can be okay with this," is all you need to say. Unless you're the world's best liar, she'll know that you're lying (you were dating her for over two years, remember?) and be hurt that you're lying and feel bad anyway. So why lie?

    All I can say is: Live your life. Hang out with your friends and do the best you can to move on. Don't pretend you're happy if you're not, but don't sit around on the sidelines moping either. Just live. Take up a new hobby, this is the best time for it, and pour yourself into it. And eventually, hopefully soon, you'll realize one day that you're ready to move on and you ARE okay with your ex and her new boyfriend.

    But shit man, don't pretend about anything. Ever. That's just no good for anyone.
    Some noses just don't belong on some faces! #SaveTheSnoots!

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  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by sasofrass View Post
    You could tell her how you feel the next time you see her.
    I'd go with this aswell.
    I don't think it will change much, but you have to talk about it. Such things kill you if do not talk about them.

    But what resents me is:
    [...]that she's dating one of our old friends, used to be one of my best friends.[...]
    Broken up or not. If he _is_ one of your best friends, he's a douchebag, when he's really dating your ex.

  9. #9
    Dreadlord
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    See, I have tried to move on, very hard actually. I'm not staying home by myself all the time either. Most of my life is spent outside home, and my time at home is either college work or video games. I don't play WoW anymore, unfortunately, don't have time between work, school, going out, and it makes no sense to pay for it.

    I've tried just not thinking about it. But it sucks because she is very much a part of my life, we lived together for a year or so and we have the same social circle, hangout spots, and all that. I'm stuck in this vortex of her, and truth is I don't even love her as much as I did, it's just those memories. She changed dramatically in the months before the breakup, it's not the same girl I loved. Maybe I'm just selfish.

  10. #10
    leave her bro, find a better one

  11. #11
    you dated her for 2 and half years.. depending on your age this can have a HUGE impact. If you started dating in early highschool its probably going to be much worse. But with time you will get over it. Be thankful you had the *hopefully* amazing 2.5 years to know her and have that relationship. Think of it as a learning experience and you are better off because of it. I guess thats the best advice i can think of. I wouldn't try to rush into another relationship because chances are you will just start comparing the new girl to your old one and thats never good.

    Hopefully it was a somewhat clean/civil breakup but what helped me was to not really pay attention to my ex for awhile after the breakup. Stop checking her facebook page for pictures with other dudes or someone leaving her smiley faces on her wall. THat will only upset you and make you jealous so don't even expose yourself to that.

    After awhile (no one really knows its different for everyone) you will just be happy you had the time to know her and you will move on. I run into my ex quite often and its totally fine. Sure i miss her fantastic rack and ass but on the emotional level I feel nothing. You will get there too, just try not to stress over it man. Good luck hope this helped a little? -_-

  12. #12
    When she goes to tell you about her new boyfriend on Tuesday, at first don't say anything, for like a good few minutes, even after she asks if everything's ok, wait for her to seem a little worried and then just give her an awkward face and a giggle and ask her why the hell she is telling you, but don't be so nice about it.

  13. #13
    Well it's good that she's still a friend, better than having it end in hatred, there isn't much you can really do about this. If you tell her how you feel you're probably going to spark a lot more fire between you, her, and your friend.

    If things could not be resolved that it lead to a break up then you need to give her space because the last thing she wants to hear is your broken heart. And I mean this in the nicest way possible.

    You'll have to accept that she's going to be with another guy. To try and win her over from your friend will compromise relations between her and your friend, if things don't work out with the friend then you should step in and tell her how you feel, but I wouldn't do anything right now.

    Right now since you're single I'd work on just having as much fun as possible that wouldn't be possible with her(other than the obvious).

    Take with a grain of salt, because I don't have experience, but it's just my 2c.

  14. #14
    Scarab Lord snuzzle's Avatar
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    It's okay to hang on to memories. Memories are how we know we lived, and didn't just wake up freshly minted this morning.

    If you're truly just in love with the memory of her, and it sounds like you are, then it may help to see her with her new boyfriend. How she's changed. To kind of jolt you into realizing how much she's changed. It might not. Who knows.

    A LOT of people change drastically before a breakup. My first boyfriend became a selfish, jealous, temper-throwing man-child. I realized that you can really tell the measure of a person by how they act during their worst times, like a breakup. It kind of highlights the extremes of their personalities. I realized, after it was all over, that he actually WAS a selfish, jealous man-child. It took seeing his personality emphasized during our turbulent breakup.

    Oh and find someone you trust to talk to. I know, I know, men don't talk about their feelings; but I don't know how I would have survived the first few months of my most recent breakup without my best friend. He was there when I needed someone to just listen, and he was there to tell me the cold truth when I needed it. He was there to call my ex names when I needed that, too. It really, really helps. If you don't have a friend, consider a shrink (or school counselor if you're young enough for that).
    Last edited by snuzzle; 2011-10-09 at 07:36 AM.
    Some noses just don't belong on some faces! #SaveTheSnoots!

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  15. #15
    Stood in the Fire Gottie4u's Avatar
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    "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints." --Billy Joel

    "When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” --John Lennon

  16. #16
    ex is just that ex.

    No idea why it is even any of your business tbh.

    Congratulate her and wish her the best.

  17. #17
    Dreadlord
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gottie4u View Post
    Hm, may be the best advice so far.
    Thanks everyone for your support. And yes, it is my business, because it deeply affects me. But I appreciate the honesty.

  18. #18
    Scarab Lord snuzzle's Avatar
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    Also this
    Some noses just don't belong on some faces! #SaveTheSnoots!

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  19. #19
    FBGM literally the best advice anyone can give you ever.

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Gottie4u View Post
    So im reading this as I went through a similar thing after I broke up with my college sweetheart, and then I come across her favorite song, a cruel man you are. but really man, just enjoy the memories, and find a new girl, thats the only thing that will help. and dont pick just any girl, I tried the go screw 5 chicks thing, but it didnt work, you need to find the next "right girl" thats what I did

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