Last edited by crica; 2012-02-18 at 01:44 PM.
It is a common fact that most wives tend to let themselves go in a marriage if they feel they are comfortable where they are at in the marriage. Meaning: The wife knows shes not getting divorced anytime soon and has complete faith in the spouse to not cheat on her.
Heh, with my husband, hes gained a bit a weight since we've been married. He is by no means fat, but he is starting to get a little bit of a beer belly. I'm fat, but then again, I'm pregnant and due in like 2 weeks. :P
Saw this one and couldn't let it go unanswered.
Military members don't put there "jobs" before there families (most dont anyway). Part of the job requires us to be deployed for long periods of time. When someone marries someone in the military they know what they are getting into. You don't marry into that lifestyle and just say "oh well your not home so its your fault." If the spouse is a female, and you need sexual satisfaction that badly while hes gone...get a vibrator or another toy, don't break the trust and commitment of your marriage just because you need to get yourself off.
The spouse overseas is supposed to be faithful as well, to me it falls into the category of integrity. If I can't depend on one of my soldiers to be loyal to their spose, how can I expect them to stay loyal to your squadmembers when the shit hits the fan.
I see it all the time downrange. A soldier doing there job, working hard, providing for their family only to have a selfish spouse back home running around on them. Ive seen shitty sposes make more soliders non-combat able due to depression and lack of focus them ive seen from injuries sustained during combat.
At least you have the integrity to say that youwouldn't marry into that lifestyle because it would make you unhappy. Unfortunately there are lots of women who have NO problem marrying into the military, getting the housing and educational benefits, medical benfits, and other privledges and not do their part and not be a whhorebag while we are gone.
anyway back to the oringinal question.
1. Yes we do see it, but i can understand depression causing weight gain. What bugs me are the ones that have their husband home, and still go out to walmart in pajamas and have NO pride in their appearance.
2. I haven't seen this here at FT. Riley to much, but if you go to a TRADOC base such as FT. Eustis, it is crazy. Whole first rows dedicated not just to current officers and SGM's, but retired as well. I got into a argument with a officers wife once because a VERY pregnant friend of mine took a space reserved for a retired colonel.
Last i checked, Adultery is against the UCMJ. If I can get figuratively and financially crucified for it, I don't see why a spouse should deserve a free pass.
This isn't uncommon for any marriage, #1 that is. Probably worse for military spouses because their spouse isnt there to support them emotionally, and eating produces a chemical that can provide you comfort. My wife and I gained weight when we got married almost 12 years ago and we lost it together later, we never loved each other less because of our weight.
I'm inclined to agree, but spouses are not covered under UCMJ, and the system is geared towards favoring women.
What needs to happen is for he military to fix its broken housing system. The biggest reason soldiers get married before they are ready is because they want to get out of the barracks and live their off time like a normal person.
1. I would make singles rate BAH available to soldiers who are E-5 and above and 25 years old and above. That would just be a start of course.
Hell I would legalize prostitution within the U.S. as well (regulated for safety of course) that might take care of the "marrying for sex" problem as well
Unfortunately, I don't see the former happening. The military is somewhat of a sacred thing here, to the point where people who question how it's handled are verbally crucified. Politicians who do the same simply aren't in office long, either. The latter might be a possibility in the next 20 years.
I wasn't saying that spouses should be subject to it.1. I would make singles rate BAH available to soldiers who are E-5 and above and 25 years old and above. That would just be a start of course.
How would your system work for older troops? I joined the Air Force at 23, and living in the dorms was like moving back in with my parents, minus the good parts. I got kicked awake so many times for random inspections by NCOs and Officers were somehow ignorant that not everyone worked during the day, and missed countless meals because of inadequate chow hall hours. Not to mention they ruined breakfast for me. Not everyone joins right after high school.
Last edited by raist474; 2012-02-18 at 06:27 PM.
under my system, at the age of 25 a soldier will be given the choice (under approval from their commander and a counseling from their immediate supervisor) to either continue to live in the barracks or recieve single rate BAH and live on the local economy. This of course will be offered to MATURE soliders with no history (or unrelated) UCMJ action or negative counselings based upon issues that would be determental to living off base (I.E. paying their bills, Alcohol incidents etc etc.)
Id also make it a incentive for E-5's, and would be futher motivation to get soldiers to advance their careers. Its difficult for me to believe that a 19 or 20 year old butter bar is more mature than a SGT with 4+ years in the military.
The way our military is set up is extremely detrimental to all that serve and their families. Playing World Police ruins so many families. Kids grow up without parents and marriages are put to the ultimate test. For what?
The only thing that I knew that I did not want to do when I grew up was be in the military.
I have heard my old man's stories about what goes on overseas when he gets tipsy. He always prefaces everything with "this was before your mother and I got married", but they met and were dating in college. A lot of it sounds too tempting to avoid and there was also the pressures to partake from all those around you. Also the cost of living in some places being so low that guys kept second wives for when they were deployed they could crash there and be serviced like a boss.
Wondering if anyone heard of "smiling contests"?
Oh ya, god bless GI babies. Some of the prettiest girls I have known were GI babies.
I like sandwiches
That's assuming you marry someone already in the military and know what you're getting into. I'd say a more common situation is when the couple marries young, possible after high school and then the husband runs off to join the army for whatever reason but without the wife's consent. There isn't much the wife could do about it really.
Now she's faced with 3 options. Suffer through it and "take one for your country", divorce or just live well on the husbands money and seek the company of better men. Personally I haven't had this situation in my life before but I've had to deal with selfish men a lot and they aren't all the white knight types who discuss everything with their wives or girlfriends. Usually it's "I'll do what I want, stop nagging and suffocating me even with decisions that greatly affect both". I'd call the last option the most reasonable since when he didn't think of the wife, it's only fair to be selfish too and use him till you find someone better or if he really loves you, make him jealous and force him to quit the military.