funniest joke you know

[superstarz]

This guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender where the bathroom is. The bartender says "Down the hallway, first door on your left". The guy thanks him and goes to the bathroom.
A few minutes later, a 2nd guy walks into the bar and asks for the bathroom. Bartender says "down the hall, first door on your left but there is already somebody in there.." so the guy says "That's fine" and heads to the bathroom.
A couple more minutes and a 3rd guy walks in and asks for the bathroom as well. Bartender says "down the hall, first door on your left, but there's already TWO people in there..." so the guy says, "That's fine" and goes to the bathroom.

An hour passes and finally the first guy comes out. The bartender says, "Wow, you spent a long time in there, what were you doing?" and the guy replies "Blowing bubbles" and walks out.
After a few more minutes, the second guy walks out. The bartender asks what took him so long and he replies "I was blowing bubbles." and walks out.
Finally, the last guy walks out of the bathroom. The bartender says, "Let me guess, you were blowing bubbles?". The guy replies, "No, I AM Bubbles".

lol

Lol i think i heard that one before but in a different context..

[Mugly]

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

New Yorkers, some of them can go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.

(bad taste i know xD)

[Gandrake]

so not the funniest, but appropriate

a Death Knight, Warrior and Paladin walk into a bar and say "LF2M, Tank and Healer".

[Zethiroth]

One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of indians attacked them and knocked them out.

When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.

The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."

So all 3 left with their guards, and after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.

Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apparent reason, and was killed.

The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have been let go. The second guy says i couldn't help it, i saw the third guy coming with pinapples.

[Waaldo]

A vampire walks into a bar, sits down, and says do the bartender "Can you bring me a glass of hot water?"
"Why hot water?" the bar tender asks, "I thought vampires only drank blood."
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says "I'm making tea."

[superstarz]

A vampire walks into a bar, sits down, and says do the bartender "Can you bring me a glass of hot water?"
"Why hot water?" the bar tender asks, "I thought vampires only drank blood."
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says "I'm making tea."

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA never heard that one.. pretty funny..

---------- Post added 2012-09-06 at 11:10 PM ----------

why did the one armed man cross the road??

to get to the second hand store..

[ThePotato]

I would consider my sex life like the Olympic 100m sprint finals... 8 black men and a gun.

[Konviction]

1) What do a tornado and marriage have in common? A) At the beginning there is a lot of sucking and blowing, and at the end, someone loses a house.

2) Three tampons are walking down the street. A light, A heavy, and A medium, which one speaks first? A) None!, they are all stuck up cunts!

[Mike-N-Ike]

Three men die and go to hell and the devil appears.

He says to the first man "What is your favorite thing to do? To which he replies "I like to drink beer" *poof* The Devil locks him in a room with all the beer he can drink but nothing else
He says to the second man "What is your favorite thing to do?" TO which he replies "I like to have sex" *poof* The Devil locks him in a room with all the best women
He says to the third man "What is your favorite thing to do?" To which he replied "I like to smoke weed" *poof* The Devil locks him in a room with all the weed he could ever smoke

After 1000 years the Devil checks on the men:
First Man is thirst deprived but can't die and is starving from hunger, dieing from alchohol poisoning and says "I will never drink again"
Second Man's pelvis is destroyed and he is in agonizing pain from which he cannot die from and says "I will never have sex again!"
The Third guy comes running out of the room traumatized and says to the Devil " YOU BASTARD! YOU LEFT ME IN THERE WITHOUT A LIGHTER!"

Long ass joke.. lol still makes me laugh

[Deleted]

Why did the scarecrow win a noble prize?
He was out-standing in his field.

[Tekniqe]

You wanna hear a joke about pizza?
Nevermind, it's too cheesy.

[Deleted]

3 men walk into a bar. one ducks why? i use to tell that one all the time when i was kid and its the only one i can remember in full length lol well except worse ones...

You're telling the joke all wrong dude.... And this was on nigahiga not to long ago.
Its like this : 2 guy's walk in to a bar the 3rd one is a duck.

[StickyFingaz]

You wanna hear a joke about pizza?
Nevermind, it's too cheesy.

Do you want to hear a joke about Doritos?
Nevermind, it's too corny.

[teebo]

You're telling the joke all wrong dude.... And this was on nigahiga not to long ago.
Its like this : 2 guy's walk in to a bar the 3rd one is a duck.

Close


2 guy's walk in to a bar the 3rd one ducks.

[Digglett]

Grown men watching My Little Pony.

[pickley]

Grown men watching My Little Pony.

Wow thats pretty mean...

[ADman319]

What do Rogues and Noobs have in common ?
They both pick locks.

[Pfeff]

Do you want to hear a joke about Doritos?
Nevermind, it's too corny.

Wanna hear a joke about a vacuum?
Nevermind, it sucks.

[pickley]

Wanna hear a joke about a vacuum?
Nevermind, it sucks.

I could tell you a joke about butter, but you would only spread it.

[Infernae]

Guy 1: What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
Guy 2: I don't know, what?
Guy 1: So... it was you.