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  1. #181
    I think the thing with women and money is very simple; women like stability. I'm young enough to be very forgiving about things like salary (since not many guys my age make a lot of money), but I'm sorry, I would not date a guy I feel like has no future. I'm not expecting a six figure salary, but I do want someone who is able to support his family. Not all by his own, but nurses don't generally have very good salaries so I need someone to help. It is so much easier to be happy and take care of a relationship when you don't have to always worry about how to get by the next month while sacrificing something you most want in a life (like having kids) because you can't afford that. Also, I live in a country with strong welfare system, so in the end the pay doesn't mean that much. I assume in countries like U.S. money matters a lot more as having kids, or just living as a couple, is a lot more expensive.

  2. #182
    Quote Originally Posted by Cephilia View Post
    I think the thing with women and money is very simple; women like stability. I'm young enough to be very forgiving about things like salary (since not many guys my age make a lot of money), but I'm sorry, I would not date a guy I feel like has no future. I'm not expecting a six figure salary, but I do want someone who is able to support his family. Not all by his own, but nurses don't generally have very good salaries so I need someone to help. It is so much easier to be happy and take care of a relationship when you don't have to always worry about how to get by the next month while sacrificing something you most want in a life (like having kids) because you can't afford that. Also, I live in a country with strong welfare system, so in the end the pay doesn't mean that much. I assume in countries like U.S. money matters a lot more as having kids, or just living as a couple, is a lot more expensive.
    Ironically here in the states good nurses can make a good salary because of shortage of qualified nurses.

  3. #183
    Quote Originally Posted by obdigore View Post
    Ironically here in the states good nurses can make a good salary because of shortage of qualified nurses.
    This.

    I used to work with a guy who made around $25,000 married to a nurse who made well over $70,000. The only reason he didn't stay home with the kids (apart from probably the fact that she'd resent it) was he got health insurance while she worked per diem.

  4. #184
    The Lightbringer Kerath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cephilia View Post
    And if you had actually read the thing, you'd realize while women rate men to be less than average looking, they are still more likely to go on a date with them. While women have high standards on what's considered good-looking, they don't care about looks as much as men do (when making contact on dating sites, widely different than it might be in actual relationship).
    Yeah, that little nugget of info seems to have been skipped over by quite a few. Despite the women being harsher in their judgement of looks, according to that article they're far more likely to contact someone that is considered average or below average looking than the men are.
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  5. #185
    Aside from thinking most men are below average looking as that study shows women also usually have an impossibly long list of standards men have to adhere to before they will consider doing anything with you. So even if you are a good looking guy or part of the other 20% they DO deem attractive you still have to meet most of the requirements on their list before they accept you. Although being an a-hole and treating them like crap usually works regardless of your looks.
    Last edited by Killington; 2012-11-16 at 10:24 AM.

  6. #186
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by Kerath View Post
    Yeah, that little nugget of info seems to have been skipped over by quite a few. Despite the women being harsher in their judgement of looks, according to that article they're far more likely to contact someone that is considered average or below average looking than the men are.
    Isn't this amounting to the same thing ultimately?

    So woman are harsh on looks but are willing to look past looks when contacting men on dating sites right?
    But men don't have such stringent view on looks, but are less likely to contact woman who look (below) average?

    So basicly the pool of people they will contact is the same, so woman will date someone who doesnt fit their criteria of good looks because they know that with their views that pool is extremely small. Men on the other hand consider a larger pool of woman good looking from the get go, and are less likely to contact woman who are below that standard. In the end they have nearly the same pool they draw from, just different points of origin..

  7. #187
    Quote Originally Posted by fiif View Post
    80% are below average? Jesus the top 20% must really bring the average up lol. Anyway a guy expects a good looking girl to look like a super model, same for woman. Thats how it works tbh:P
    Most men do not want a supermodel...size 4s are disgusting in most of our opinions!

  8. #188
    Quote Originally Posted by Laize View Post
    Found this on Reddit. Found it bizarre. Thought I'd share.

    http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/yo...online-dating/
    Motherfuckers. Next time I'm asked if they look fat in that dress, I'm going to say yes!

  9. #189
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by rzy View Post
    I do not want a supermodel...size 4s are disgusting in my opinion!
    I fixed that for you, please don't confuse what you like / want with what everyone else likes / wants.

    Things like this are all down to taste, much like peanut butter or marmite some people love em, others hate them, it doesn't make either one of them right or wrong, it makes them different.

    OT - I can't help but think there's selection bias in this, as much as online dating is becoming more popular, places like OKCupid will attract a certain 'type' of person, of both sexes I would imagine, run the same test again with then men, now that would be interesting.
    Last edited by mmocd3e258d247; 2012-11-16 at 10:41 AM.

  10. #190
    Quote Originally Posted by Mooboy View Post
    snip
    Most people i know find ridiculously skinny girls horrible, just taking it from personal experience

  11. #191
    So we have a study that women find most men on a dating website to be below average in good looks (as the score is 1-5 we can ignore outliers so we don't need a discussion of what happens if Brad Pitt was in the sample). Women meanwhile were shown with a pretty standard distribution. From this we can draw any number of conclusions:
    1) Women have unrealistic views on what men should look like
    2) Average women sign up for the site but it tends to only be ugly men that also sign up
    3) The sample was biased somehow (maybe ugly women don't have public photos, so weren't included in the study while ugly men will put up photos anyway, maybe the way the women were selected to judge were selected in a way that caused bias)
    4) The population of the site is predominantly ugly but the men have much lower standards.

    I'm sure people can come up with other interpretations, it is all pretty meaningless without further studies and in-depth analysis you aren't going to find out anything.

  12. #192
    Quote Originally Posted by Cephilia View Post
    I think the thing with women and money is very simple; women like stability. I'm young enough to be very forgiving about things like salary (since not many guys my age make a lot of money), but I'm sorry, I would not date a guy I feel like has no future. I'm not expecting a six figure salary, but I do want someone who is able to support his family. Not all by his own, but nurses don't generally have very good salaries so I need someone to help. It is so much easier to be happy and take care of a relationship when you don't have to always worry about how to get by the next month while sacrificing something you most want in a life (like having kids) because you can't afford that. Also, I live in a country with strong welfare system, so in the end the pay doesn't mean that much. I assume in countries like U.S. money matters a lot more as having kids, or just living as a couple, is a lot more expensive.
    I'll just assume "a guy with a future" means "someone who will make loads of money" and "financial stability" means "free dresses and other shit, while not going bankrupt because of my materialistic desires, because when that happens, I'm going to dump his sorry ass and marry a rich entrepreneur"

  13. #193
    Merely a Setback Reeve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GennGreymane View Post
    well....... most attractive men dont need OKC
    It's not about needing. Most of the best women I've dated in the last 7 years I've met outside of OK Cupid, but it's still a very good way to meet people and gives you a nice forum full of women who are all looking for someone to date that you can start up a conversation with in a no-pressure environment. It's a convenience thing, especially when you live in a city like Houston where women tend to be a lot more inherently suspicious of men than in a lot of other places I've been.
    'Twas a cutlass swipe or an ounce of lead
    Or a yawing hole in a battered head
    And the scuppers clogged with rotting red
    And there they lay I damn me eyes
    All lookouts clapped on Paradise
    All souls bound just contrarywise, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

  14. #194
    Deleted
    take off girls make up and i belive 80% of them are ugly trololol, men should get make up Thumbs up!

  15. #195
    Quote Originally Posted by Laize View Post
    But attractive women do?
    Thanks for reaffirming my point.

  16. #196
    Merely a Setback Reeve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kerath View Post
    Yeah, that little nugget of info seems to have been skipped over by quite a few. Despite the women being harsher in their judgement of looks, according to that article they're far more likely to contact someone that is considered average or below average looking than the men are.
    Correction: They're more likely to message those men, which doesn't necessarily mean they were the first to make contact. Possibly it's just that since the majority of men were below average, the majority of the messages they received were from those men, which influenced who they responded to.

    Men, by contrast, are usually the initiators, though I've had a fair number of women contact me through the years. Over the last 3 years, I've probably had somewhere around 20 attractive women contact me on OKC, and possibly the same number of unattractive women. By contrast my friend Kristi, who's an attractive woman, has an inbox full of a couple hundred emails from guys at any given time.
    'Twas a cutlass swipe or an ounce of lead
    Or a yawing hole in a battered head
    And the scuppers clogged with rotting red
    And there they lay I damn me eyes
    All lookouts clapped on Paradise
    All souls bound just contrarywise, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

  17. #197
    Quote Originally Posted by Knight Gil View Post
    I'll just assume "a guy with a future" means "someone who will make loads of money" and "financial stability" means "free dresses and other shit, while not going bankrupt because of my materialistic desires, because when that happens, I'm going to dump his sorry ass and marry a rich entrepreneur"
    Assuming those things would lead to incorrect conclusions. Part of what I like about my girlfriend is that she's a "girl with a future" - what this means isn't that she'll necessarily make "loads of money", but that she's getting a Ph.D. in Biochemistry and has strong career prospects going forward. She'll be doing something interesting, useful, and yes, something that pays reasonably well (although not "loads of money"). I also like that we'll be financially stable, which doesn't mean that I get free things, it means that we're able to share equally in our shared life expenses and go forward knowing that if either one of us was unemployed for a bit, we can pick up each other's slack. The same applies from her end regarding me being a guy with a future that brings financial stability to the table.

  18. #198
    Deleted
    I saw that on reddit too and must admit it almost shocked me .

    I'd think am the typical guy the blog talks about: as long as a woman is not fat then it's incredibly hard for her to be "below average looks" in my eyes. Not to mention that obesity isn't common in my "target group" (say 19-25). So in the end at least 80% women are average looking or better.

    And then I see the article, where guys who according to my views are, at the very least, somewhat handsome, are below average according to women ... I mean... Below average... Meaning in the bottom half. Makes you wonder who is in the upper half. I probably know the type they are talking about (Brad Pitt or something) but there's no way there are enough of those to fill up half of male population.

    edit: then again when I read my post it's the exact opposite, there's no way there are enough women to fill up the bottom half... screw it

  19. #199
    Quote Originally Posted by Spectral View Post
    Assuming those things would lead to incorrect conclusions. Part of what I like about my girlfriend is that she's a "girl with a future" - what this means isn't that she'll necessarily make "loads of money", but that she's getting a Ph.D. in Biochemistry and has strong career prospects going forward. She'll be doing something interesting, useful, and yes, something that pays reasonably well (although not "loads of money"). I also like that we'll be financially stable, which doesn't mean that I get free things, it means that we're able to share equally in our shared life expenses and go forward knowing that if either one of us was unemployed for a bit, we can pick up each other's slack. The same applies from her end regarding me being a guy with a future that brings financial stability to the table.
    People tend to think that once they find the special person with the right career prospects they are going to have it all fine. But once financial problems start to happen, a lot of marriages go down the drain. I don't think I'm far from truth when I say that most people are only in for the money, and instead of growing closer and helping each other when those problems happens, they take the easier way out, because "financial stability" is the only thing that brings them together

  20. #200
    Quote Originally Posted by Knight Gil View Post
    People tend to think that once they find the special person with the right career prospects they are going to have it all fine. But once financial problems start to happen, a lot of marriages go down the drain. I don't think I'm far from truth when I say that most people are only in for the money, and instead of growing closer and helping each other when those problems happens, they take the easier way out, because "financial stability" is the only thing that brings them together
    On the contrary, I think people don't think about money in relationships near enough, then they're shocked when it's a problem in a relationship down the road. Picking a partner with consideration towards their likely future earnings and the stability of those earnings is an entirely sensible approach to relationships. Ignoring earnings potential and job security and hoping that the strength of the relationship will get you through any problems that arise is a recipe for failures.

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