Depressed after 20th birthday

[Lumennon]

Now, first of all, I get ya. I really do.

BUT: You are TWENTY. You have to remember that as old as you might feel at that age, you really ARE not. The one thing that you should keep in mind is that, one sign of being a grown up is (or should be...) maturity, so build on your ability to seperate what you are able to identify as instincts or natural feelings (like the "feeling old" thing) and what you are able to identify as fact. A nice calmness should overcome you in time.

At twenty, you have the luxury of still being young enough to actually influence the greater course your life will take. So whenever this "depression" overcomes you (and again, I totally get how that happens), LET IT FUEL YOUR RAGE!!!

Or... Ambition. Or resolve. Those might work, too. More boring, but still applicable.

And never forget that there are SHITLOADS of people who are worse off than you - people who might've taken longer to realise that time went by too fast, already wasted chances and - on another note - do not even have a family that they are close too. Appreciate what a wonderful thing it is that your parents growing older actually DOES bother you. Not everyone can say the same thing. And never forget that even those people still persevere and have turned their lives around.

Hell, maybe there are even some people on this board whom you could say the things I mentioned in my last paragraph about... Maybe... Even someone who posted in this thread... Maybe not even too long ago...

AH HELL, WHO CARES! =)

[Deleted]

You are still young. Enjoy it while it lasts.

[Deleted]

As i said, its easier to not take responsibilty and not do things to feel better.
If you had tried you would have know i was right and then you wold have to chnage how you see things.
Instead you decided to not do it so you can hold on to your world view, to bad you might had learned something.

Who said I feel bad?

[Deleted]

Nice strawman.

And yes, you *are* talking nonsense now.

Your *telling*, not advising, but outright *telling* people not to feel bad because its all in their head. That's utter nonsense, and dictating to people what they should think/feel. Pretty sure your doing exactly what I am thinking your doing. Anyways not gonna bother replying anymore, the smugness is overwhelming.

Oh yes im telling people that they can feel diffrent if they want to!
i have never denied that at all!

But you said i judge them, and there is where you are wrong.
People are free to feel however they want, but im still telling them that they can feel diffrent if they want to.

You want to be depressed, feel sorry for yourself, blame god/fate/parents or whatever?
Sure then do that, but know its your choice and i will tell you that it is your choice and you can feel diffrent if you want to.
Thats not judging at all, as you said i did.

---------- Post added 2012-11-26 at 01:23 PM ----------

Who said I feel bad?

Noone as far as i know, i sure did not.

[Deleted]

OP, you're just 20 years old, that's pretty young, you shouldn't be feeling old.

You just need to go out, get new friends and have fun, enjoy life.

I know that having a parent with 60 years old might be a bit bad but seriously, try not to let that change you, just go have fun, you're young!

[Deleted]

Read that.

Seems like being a judgmental ass to me.

Well how it seems to you is not the same as how it is. Its just how it seems to you.

[Liliannan]

I felt very similar to you at that age - but trust me it gets better!

Not only will you mature even more (your brain is still developing believe it or not) but things will begin to fall into place in your 20s. You will run into more bumps in the road, but if you truly want things to get better, they will. Unfortunately as you become older, so do others around you, including your parents. It's hard to see them grow older, cherish your time with them as much as possible. I don't keep in touch with barely anyone from high school anymore, it's a harsh reality that as you grow older, friends will come and go. You will change, they will change, interests will change. At first it's heartbreaking, but you will learn to adapt and make new friends throughout life. There is no harm in remembering the good times, but don't stay locked up in the past - always live for today but be looking into the future as you never know what will be waiting for you (and if you aren't there to pay attention, you will miss out!)

I went to university for 4 years - and going into the 5th year (was 23) decided to quit because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life and was so incredibly depressed (was drinking, some light drugs, and bad relationships). It was the hardest thing to tell my parents - that after 5 years and so close to a degree I wanted to quit. I didn't really know what I wanted to do, but I knew I didn't want to continue living where I was living and studying what I was studying. This was my rock bottom, and I knew that I could either continue to sulk around or do something about it so I could improve my life. I ended up hurting a few people, breaking off friendships, and disappointing my parents, but I had to do what was best for me. I took 5 months off then re-enrolled in a different school another country away.

Took fast track courses, got into a work placement, and started enjoying my life and doing things that I really wanted to do (like travelling). I met my future husband at 24 at a work placement for school. And after I graduated we ended up moving to Australia and got married 3 years later. Now I'm 29 with a stable job and life. Things I'm worried about now is turning 30 next year!! Now that is old :P

Keep your chin up. I know things are difficult, it's part of growing up. It sucks, we all have to go through it. Just keep reminding yourself that things do get better and you never know what is waiting around the corner for you!

[Killington]

First, hi MMO-Champ! I've lurked here for a while, being a WoW and Diablo player and finally decided to register.

Anyway, the problem is that I had my 20th birthday in September, as well as a lot of changes in my life and I've been feeling increasingly nostalgic, even depressed after that. I thought it would pass but it's actually getting worse. I don't even know what it is. Maybe it's that I dont want to accept being a grown up now or maybe it's because I took a year off college after the first year because I didn't like my specialty and I'm planning to reapply next year. It could even be because I renovated my room during summer from the money I made working and dug up a lot of old things, photos, mementos, childhood dolls or even because I lost touch with nearly all my high school friends. Oh and I forgot the most important part. My parents were in their late 30s/early 40s when they had me and my dad just had hes 60th birthday and they're starting to look kind of frail.

This is starting to really bother me as I feel.. old at 20 and I don't know if that's normal. Has anyone gone through something like that?

Haha man talk about first world problems, you really need some perspective on things.

[Zaralis]

wow you feel old at 20? i moved out on my own at 18 , im 20 yrs old now in my 2nd apartment its nice & in nicer town then the first apartment. i still visit my parents, but every one grows old eventually. whats that old saying ...? "yer only old if you feel old"?

[Tucci]

You control your own life and how it goes. If you miss people, find them. If you want to see the world, travel. I strongly believe you can do anything you put your mind to, you just have to work for it. Now if I only took my own advice...

[Ater]

Wait until you get a job, then you will have a lot of colleagues that are older then you. When I started working at 21 I was the youngest at work, now many years later I'm still one of the younger (but not the youngest) since the people you work with also grow older, so I'm still "the kid" and every now and then they tell some joke about how young I am.

[Deleted]

First, hi MMO-Champ! I've lurked here for a while, being a WoW and Diablo player and finally decided to register.

Anyway, the problem is that I had my 20th birthday in September, as well as a lot of changes in my life and I've been feeling increasingly nostalgic, even depressed after that. I thought it would pass but it's actually getting worse. I don't even know what it is. Maybe it's that I dont want to accept being a grown up now or maybe it's because I took a year off college after the first year because I didn't like my specialty and I'm planning to reapply next year. It could even be because I renovated my room during summer from the money I made working and dug up a lot of old things, photos, mementos, childhood dolls or even because I lost touch with nearly all my high school friends. Oh and I forgot the most important part. My parents were in their late 30s/early 40s when they had me and my dad just had hes 60th birthday and they're starting to look kind of frail.

This is starting to really bother me as I feel.. old at 20 and I don't know if that's normal. Has anyone gone through something like that?

I've been feeling old since I turned 18, coming from a big family and most of my siblings respawning in pairs or birthing them uglies (babies) I kinda started to mimic their "oldiness". Like, my habits would change - I would change the way I dressed, the way I ate, the way I entertained myself. I think you are just experiencing the "joy" of growing up and it's kinda boring.

I think you just need to find something to entertain yourself with, wether it be a girlfriend or a boyfriend or a 3-way, something to make life just a little bit more cheerful. Or do what I do: laugh at all them oldies with their kids and responsibilities. Hanging out with people that are older then me always makes me feel a couple of years younger for sure.

Another tip is to avoid mirrors, since lines and wrinkles don't lie!

[Deleted]

First, hi MMO-Champ! I've lurked here for a while, being a WoW and Diablo player and finally decided to register.

Anyway, the problem is that I had my 20th birthday in September, as well as a lot of changes in my life and I've been feeling increasingly nostalgic, even depressed after that. I thought it would pass but it's actually getting worse. I don't even know what it is. Maybe it's that I dont want to accept being a grown up now or maybe it's because I took a year off college after the first year because I didn't like my specialty and I'm planning to reapply next year. It could even be because I renovated my room during summer from the money I made working and dug up a lot of old things, photos, mementos, childhood dolls or even because I lost touch with nearly all my high school friends. Oh and I forgot the most important part. My parents were in their late 30s/early 40s when they had me and my dad just had hes 60th birthday and they're starting to look kind of frail.

This is starting to really bother me as I feel.. old at 20 and I don't know if that's normal. Has anyone gone through something like that?

You'v got your health, right? Shortly after my 21st birthday I went through cancer. I'm 26 now, unemployed and eating medication for depression and anxiety and Aspergers syndrome.
I hope perspective gives you some inspiration.

[LeahMaurer]

It doesn't get better! You should be the one to make it better, it's all in the mindset btw. Find a passion and live it!

[Archaeon]

Yeah I just turned 25 last week and I just feel like... "holy shit where did the years go?". Currently working a shitty office job and watching time pass by. If this is the "adulthood" that we've been preparing for since we were kids then I'd like a refund please. You spend your youth looking forward to growing up, getting your degree and a job and gaining independence, but it's all bullshit. What is there to look forward to now? Growing old? Fuck that.

[Gegan]

If you're depressed now, just wait till 30.

[Deleted]

Jesus, you are silly.
Let's highlight certain words shall we?

"As i said, its easier to not take responsibilty and not do things to feel better.
If you had tried you would have know i was right and then you wold have to chnage how you see things.
Instead you decided to not do it so you can hold on to your world view, to bad you might had learned something."

Telling people your right, and telling them if they listen they will learn something is being dictatorial and egotistical to the extreme.

"Oh yes im telling people that they can feel diffrent if they want to!
i have never denied that at all! "

Yet, you said your not dictating nor telling people what to do?

But you are...

Your talking so much crap it's unreal, and it's actually slightly offensive to people having issues or problems to have some smug git come along, poor piss all over them metaphorically by spouting nonsense and drivel, telling them "It's all in your head".
Point in question, my sister in law's friend from school got crushed by a falling tree. He is 18 years of age. Please feel free to tell his parent's seeing their son broken, crushed, close to death and in a coma, that all the need to do to feel better is "Look in front of a mirror and smile". Sure you will get far.

Utter BS, all of it.

I have not said im not telling people what do do, i have said that is exatcly what i do.
i said i do not judge, and i dont.

So you rather tell them to feel crap for the rest of their lives?
Life sucks, it has always sucked and it will always suck.
You should be depressed and feel horrible for as long as you live and im sure that is what your son wants also.
He wants you so suffer and feel like you díe a little each day from now on!

Yea you go tell them that, im sure thats alot better.

No my friend, its not BS.
Its very easy, if you want to feel good you can.
You are perfectly free to feel anyway you want and thats your choice.
But do not try and say that everyone has to live by the rule that god/fate/luck/parents are in charge of how you feel.
There is so many people that have proven that the way you feel about life and anything that happens is totally and utterly up top you, and noone or nothing else.

[Annu]

You are looking at this far too pessimistic.

The years at university are far the best in live and you have them all in front of you. You don't need to earn for a living, but you don't need anyones allowance if you want to do something. So check out the next students party and go for it.

I work at a quite well known institute and believe me even at our place, on Friday our Students (who are intended to work on their Master-Thesis) all have a hang over from the Thursday-Parties. So if you don't have to worry about things like that, you should definitely change something and enjoy your time. Since there are no Teenie dramas in this age anymore, it's also much more fun.

[Raunchy]

You should meditate for about 45 minutes, you will not think, therefore not worry, about anything. You will just feel happy.

[Deleted]

First, hi MMO-Champ! I've lurked here for a while, being a WoW and Diablo player and finally decided to register.

Anyway, the problem is that I had my 20th birthday in September, as well as a lot of changes in my life and I've been feeling increasingly nostalgic, even depressed after that. I thought it would pass but it's actually getting worse. I don't even know what it is. Maybe it's that I dont want to accept being a grown up now or maybe it's because I took a year off college after the first year because I didn't like my specialty and I'm planning to reapply next year. It could even be because I renovated my room during summer from the money I made working and dug up a lot of old things, photos, mementos, childhood dolls or even because I lost touch with nearly all my high school friends. Oh and I forgot the most important part. My parents were in their late 30s/early 40s when they had me and my dad just had hes 60th birthday and they're starting to look kind of frail.

This is starting to really bother me as I feel.. old at 20 and I don't know if that's normal. Has anyone gone through something like that?

It's normal, I'm 22 this coming friday, and I'm feeling like I'll never have another "special" birthday, you know, you have 16, 18 and 21, that you really look forward to, thats all behind me now. But don't let it drag you down too much, after all, you're still young!