fun with picking up girls. Pizza delivery.

[vizzle]

Can I put my sausage in your crust now?

[crawdaddy029]

Can I put my sausage in your crust now?

that's gonna get someone fired. needs to be clever but clean.

[Dispersedshadow]

Can I put my sausage in your crust now?

Her "crust"???? Most. unappetizing. euphemism. ever.

[Flappy]

You:Would you like to try my special sauce?
*judge her reaction*
Bad Reaction: Pull out garlic sauce.
Good Reaction: Brew up a batch of your special sauce.

When she goes to give you a tip:
YOU: "Oh, no thanks. Just seeing your beautiful face was enough to make my night" (I cringe when I say this one because of how horrendously corny it is)

You: You know, I also deliver orgasms. (I know, you'll get fired)

Usually I don't go for pick up lines I just observe something and try to make it giggle-inducing.

[crawdaddy029]

YOU: "Oh, no thanks. Just seeing your beautiful face was enough to make my night" (I cringe when I say this one because of how horrendously corny it is)

I will say this to my co-workers if I get stiffed by a hottie.

You: You know, I also deliver orgasms. (I know, you'll get fired)

nice, I might try something like this. "you know, I also deliver good loving."

[Deleted]

so if some dude is just walking through the park and hits on your girlfriend are you going to try and steal his birthday? Dudes be way to jealous now a days, you should be thankful to have a girlfriend that another dude wants to hit on.

The major difference is I wouldn't be paying the dude to walk through the park.
Also, being thankful that another guy wants to hit on your girl shows nothing but lack of confidence, being proud of the fact that you need someone else to confirm your decisions or even justify them to yourself is poor.

[crawdaddy029]

The major difference is I wouldn't be paying the dude to walk through the park.
Also, being thankful that another guy wants to hit on your girl shows nothing but lack of confidence, being proud of the fact that you need someone else to confirm your decisions or even justify them to yourself is poor.

How does that show lack of confidence? you have the girl, he don't, what more confidence do you need? You are not paying the driver, you are paying the company. if you want to be a douche and stiff the driver because he didn't know your woman wasn't single then have at it. the experience in my opinion is > the tip.

[muto]

When they tip you, say "I haven't given you your lap dance yet".

[Deleted]

"You girls order the extra meaty meat feast? Because there's plenty to go around!"

Either way you will probably get A: Stabbed or B: Shot or C: Beaten to a pulp by their daddies.

[Senarx]

" hey, would you like to go to dinner sometime?"
if she says yes pay for her pizza, sit on her porch, and be like "now a good time?"

[crawdaddy029]

" hey, would you like to go to dinner sometime?"
if she says yes pay for her pizza, sit on her porch, and be like "now a good time?"

This is really good. It is rather cold out right now and I don't want to invite my self in so I might just do this in spring/summer


I can get one of these to take with me too.
http://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_1...4794993P?mv=gr

---------- Post added 2012-12-27 at 12:00 PM ----------

This is really good. It is rather cold out right now and I don't want to invite my self in so I might just do this in spring/summer


I can get one of these to take with me too.
http://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_1...4794993P?mv=gr

just ordered it. cant wait to put it to use.

[Deleted]

How does that show lack of confidence? you have the girl, he don't, what more confidence do you need? You are not paying the driver, you are paying the company. if you want to be a douche and stiff the driver because he didn't know your woman wasn't single then have at it. the experience in my opinion is > the tip.

Wanting someone else to want your girl, as in prove to yourself that you picked an attractive one, shows that you don't trust yourself to make decisions and thus lack self-confidence. You are paying the driver, what are you on about? You pay the company for the food, the company uses a portion of that money to pay the driver for the delivery. Without a customer you wouldn't be getting a paycheck. You don't just lose the tip, here the lack of professionalism would get you fired at the first or first few complaint/s but I wouldn't know how it works on that side of the ocean.

[crawdaddy029]

Wanting someone else to want your girl, as in prove to yourself that you picked an attractive one, shows that you don't trust yourself to make decisions and thus lack self-confidence. You are paying the driver, what are you on about? You pay the company for the food, the company uses a portion of that money to pay the driver for the delivery. Without a customer you wouldn't be getting a paycheck. You don't just lose the tip, here the lack of professionalism would get you fired at the first or first few complaint/s but I wouldn't know how it works on that side of the ocean.

Lack of professionalism? Pizza delivery is a customer service industry, what better way to show good customer service then to service your customers? In all seriousness I can see where you might get pissed off if the driver seen you then did it or if after the fact you showed yourself but he persisted or even harassed her if it was known to be unwanted, but flirting is (more or less) friendly and I am not about to start talking dirty on the job so any line I use will be somewhat light hearted and silly to (if I don't get a date) at the very least get a smile and a returning customer. I actually used a line last night on a girl that came in the store. She told me she was picking up dinner for her and her boyfriend but she thought it was cute and still stayed and talked to me for a couple minutes. I didn't force myself on her, I was just being friendly and she loved it, she will now be back for some more pizza.

Oh and I didn't say you want random guys hitting on your girl, I said you should be proud of the fact that you have a girl that random guys would want to hit on. If you aren't you don't deserve her. Has nothing to do with having confidence in what you picked out of the litter but more for the confidence in yourself that you are the man she wants to be with, you show her the respect and love that she wants and that's all you need to do. Believe me, if you even have a girlfriend right now and she read everything you and I have posted on her she will most likely have second thoughts about being your girlfriend anymore.

[openair]

Only lines that wont get someone fired please

No such thing. Someone will eventually be offended. Maybe by a line you've used on 100 other people. Maybe not even the person you were actually talking to (jealous you didn't hit on their fat ass too). And all it will take to get your easily replaced self fired is a single complaint.

[frequency]

I delivered to a swingers club before, lots of nakedness going on there. unfortunately it included dudes but at least I had something else to look at.

God I love the mentality of "Oh no! A cock! The horror, I must be gay now!"

[Donald Hellscream]

" If only you looked half as good as this pizza there would be a slight chance that i'd fuck you.. " though im sure thats probably more insulting than anything.

[crawdaddy029]

God I love the mentality of "Oh no! A cock! The horror, I must be gay now!"

that wasn't really what I had in mind but thanks.

[Deleted]

No such thing. Someone will eventually be offended. Maybe not even the person you were actually talking to. And all it will take to get your easily replaced self fired is a single complaint.

This.
And if I see the pizza guy (of all the people) hit on my gf (and your lines can sound kinda creepy if you read them in the right voice), I'll make extra sure that he loses his job. And I can confirm that it's very easy to do.

For example, I remember that one time. I was at the post office, with some cranky employee. Apparently I didn't talk quite clear enough, so she dropped a statement, similar to "can't you talk properly".
I got home, sent a letter to their HR department, quoting her sentence, time and date of my visit, and the name she had on her shirt. I also added a statement, saying that I was disabled (for all I know, I may be), can indeed not talk properly, and thus take great offense.

Ever since I returned the week after, I haven't seen her in that office again.

[crawdaddy029]

No such thing. Someone will eventually be offended. Maybe by a line you've used on 100 other people. Maybe not even the person you were actually talking to (jealous you didn't hit on their fat ass too). And all it will take to get your easily replaced self fired is a single complaint.

I highly doubt saying someone is cute and asking if they want to go out will offend.... anyone. If I walked up to someone and said "I am like dominos, I cum in 30 minutes or less" maybe. but like I said that would be a line that would get me fired even if the person I was talking to wasn't offended.

---------- Post added 2012-12-28 at 10:30 AM ----------

This.
And if I see the pizza guy (of all the people) to hit on my gf (and your lines can sound kinda creepy if you read them in the right voice), I'll make extra sure that he loses his job. And I can confirm that it's very easy to do.

For example, I remember that one time. I was at the post office, with some cranky employee. Apparently I didn't talk quite clear enough, so she dropped a statement, similar to "can't you talk properly".
I got home, sent a letter to their HR department, quoting her sentence, time and date of my visit, and the name she had on her shirt. I also added a statement, saying that I was disabled (for all I know, I may be), can indeed not talk properly, and thus take great offense.

Ever since I returned the week after, I haven't seen her in that office again.

Alas, someone else who does not deserve to have a girlfriend ever....

trust me, if the pizza guy hits on your girlfriend no one is gonna give a shit about your butt hurt feelings.

[Deleted]

This.
And if I see the pizza guy (of all the people) hit on my gf (and your lines can sound kinda creepy if you read them in the right voice), I'll make extra sure that he loses his job. And I can confirm that it's very easy to do.

For example, I remember that one time. I was at the post office, with some cranky employee. Apparently I didn't talk quite clear enough, so she dropped a statement, similar to "can't you talk properly".
I got home, sent a letter to their HR department, quoting her sentence, time and date of my visit, and the name she had on her shirt. I also added a statement, saying that I was disabled (for all I know, I may be), can indeed not talk properly, and thus take great offense.

Ever since I returned the week after, I haven't seen her in that office again.

That dosn't really make you any bit better, infact, you came out as a much worse humanbeing than you made her out to be.