Why Do Girls Always Try to Hit on Introverts? How to Deal With This?

[UnionPrime]

This is something that I seem to always notice, especially now in University. Many girls seem to not be able to summon the courage to talk to popular guys, so instead they resort to always talking to the quiet, seemingly shy guys as that I suppose poses a lesser social risk than attempting to talk to the popular guys. As you may have guessed, I'm one of the quieter, more introverted type, and so I seem to always be subjected to this. There'll always be random girls that attempt to either strike up conversation (which I will usually requite since I'm not a mean person), but sometimes they'll go further and attempt to elongate relations (by offering their numbers or by saying something flirtatious.)

I just want to mind my own business, but it seems more girls try to pick up conversations with me than they do with the actual popular/more extroverted guys on campus. This doesn't make sense to me. I really don't like interacting socially, especially not in real-life, and so I want to find a way to avoid this without causing issues with them/appearing mean/confronting them.

Any advice? thanks in advance.

[Belloc]

My advice is to hope for more of it. Dude, it sounds like girls like you. Take a break from fake-life and enjoy your real-life. It might be tough at first, but that's the whole point of practicing.

Games get old, people are always important.

(and this is coming from an introvert)

[Knight Gil]

Now this is new


I wish girls hitting on introverts was the norm. You're probably just handsome.

[Nathiest]

Whenever a girl hits on me or flirts with me I get pissed! It makes me mad! I'm not remotely worthy of your attractions you daft girl so bugger off!

[King Shark]

You just have something in your teeth, and they're trying to be nice. Brush and they'll leave you alone.

[Sunseeker]

Yeah this is more the anomaly than the norm.

[Barbariangreataxe]

Grow some mutton-chops and a mullet.

[Melodi]

Or maybe they actually genuinely find you to be someone they might want to get to know better. It's not that women are hitting on you because you're an introvert, it's because they like you. I'm not seeing how this is a bad thing. Honestly, if you don't want their number or them talking to you say "Sorry, but I'd don't want to be in a relationship (or date) right now." Any respectable person will nod, say "Ok, thank you for letting me know." and then go about their business. If someone gets hurt over that then they're just being extremely sensitive. Just remember that it's HOW you say something, not what you say most of the time when being polite. If they continue to be pushy, just take their number and then never call them, they'll get the hint then.

[Deleted]

There isn't a way without changing your own behaviour. You fit something they want and until you no longer fit that then they're still going to want you for it. You should feel less bound by politeness and niceties, simply tell them you're not interested or if you really want to let them down gently say you're in a relationship.

[Diabloss]

Sir, are you holding reverse wood? Does this generally happen on Opposite Day? Do you have any special rituals that you perform daily, that might cause you to incur some undesired luck?

[semaphore]

So what's this, using complaints to show off about people showing an interest in you? >_>

And if this this serious, girls talk to all kinds of people. Just confirmation bias.

[ZazuuPriest]

maybe they just think you're quite and mysterious instead of you being a giant pussy, im sure once they figure that out they dont stick around so keep up the good work. or maybe you have supreme gayness that hasnt come to the surface yet and they want someone to go shopping with. either way is fine with me

[UnionPrime]

My advice is to hope for more of it. Dude, it sounds like girls like you. Take a break from fake-life and enjoy your real-life. It might be tough at first, but that's the whole point of practicing.

Games get old, people are always important.

(and this is coming from an introvert)

Lol, if that's true, then that's pretty happy news. But from my analysis of the social interactions here, it's not that they like me, but rather that they feel at ease approaching someone of far lesser social stature. Regardless of whether they hate me or like me, I really just want to be left alone and not start trouble with anyone.

[Dhurn]

Just stop showering. They might still approach you but I bet most will turn around like 5-15 feet away, depending how diligent you are with your hygiene sabotage.

[UnionPrime]

Yeah this is more the anomaly than the norm.

I don't think so. I've observed it happening to other quiet people before, so it appears to be a trend and more related to social approachability than anything else.

---------- Post added 2013-01-14 at 03:03 AM ----------

Or maybe they actually genuinely find you to be someone they might want to get to know better. It's not that women are hitting on you because you're an introvert, it's because they like you. I'm not seeing how this is a bad thing. Honestly, if you don't want their number or them talking to you say "Sorry, but I'd don't want to be in a relationship (or date) right now." Any respectable person will nod, say "Ok, thank you for letting me know." and then go about their business. If someone gets hurt over that then they're just being extremely sensitive. Just remember that it's HOW you say something, not what you say most of the time when being polite. If they continue to be pushy, just take their number and then never call them, they'll get the hint then.

I'm far from apt when it comes to social interactions, but I can't say "I don't want to be in a relationship right now" because that response sounds pretentious and it sounds far too self-absorbed and assuming. Who even knows if they're trying to start a relationship? That's simply what it comes across as from my perception, so uttering that would be far too awkward.

I really dislike confronting people (unless it's like confronting someone who's evil or something haha) in general.

[Slummish]

College girls are starting to look beyond the loud, partying, jock-type that they went for from ages 15-21. They're looking for potential "earners" to date and marry after graduation. If you're the quiet-type, they likely assume you're intelligent and deep.

[UnionPrime]

So what's this, using complaints to show off about people showing an interest in you? >_>

And if this this serious, girls talk to all kinds of people. Just confirmation bias.

I suppose it could be confirmation bias, but how do I avoid situations where someone gives me her number and then gets irked that I didn't requite their gesture by calling/texting them?

[Rukentuts]

As an introvert, it seems the only girls that would hit on me were the type I should avoid.

[UnionPrime]

Sir, are you holding reverse wood? Does this generally happen on Opposite Day? Do you have any special rituals that you perform daily, that might cause you to incur some undesired luck?

uhm alright

---------- Post added 2013-01-14 at 03:07 AM ----------

As an introvert, it seems the only girls that would hit on me were the type I should avoid.

Well, this is true for me as well since I want to avoid all of them.

[semaphore]

I suppose it could be confirmation bias, but how do I avoid situations where someone gives me her number and then gets irked that I didn't requite their gesture by calling/texting them?

Wear a ring as though you're married, and just flash it at them.
though maybe that's something only girls normally do