What's your personal deal breaker in a relationship?

[Deleted]

STDs
/10 char

I'm pretty sure that goes for everyone. But nobody ever knows.

[Letmesleep]

This is why I think it's a false equivalence - I've never observed someone to behave in that fashion or anything remotely similar to that fashion. I've never even observed an atheist engaging someone on religion that didn't desire to engage. Maybe this exists somewhere, but it seems odd to me that I've seen hundreds of their putative counterpart, yet not a one of these strident, militant atheists that constantly tell people they're stupid.

Bill Maher comes to mind. I don't think you're looking very hard. There are extremists for every ideology under the sun.

[Deleted]

Bill Maher comes to mind. I don't think you're looking very hard. There are extremists for every ideology under the sun.

If you go looking for anything you'll surely find it, how many "militant athiests" have found you though?

[Letmesleep]

If you go looking for anything you'll surely find it, how many "militant athiests" have found you though?

I'm just saying they exist. I personally know as many militant Christians as I do Atheists, which is none. Have I met some of both though? Of course.

[leggomydairy]

...if they're out of shape or fat, that's a no go since fitness is a big role in my life... they can't be overly biased... I hate biased people

..... contradictory?

[Spectral]

I've had the complete opposite experience. I've never personally known any of these hateful, judgmental religious zealots everyone goes on about, but basically every atheist I've talked with acts like a condescending prick if the subject comes up. I didn't put being an atheist on my list of deal breakers, because if they're quiet or at least modest about it I don't care what they believe, but I wouldn't tolerate getting snide remarks constantly. There's no excuse for that.

They're far more prevalent in Europe for one; and for two, try certain degrees at university. I've never encountered such hostility in my philosophy classes. Maybe it's the people I associate it with, but I know far, far more ardent and unnecessarily vocal atheists than I do Christians.

They absolutely exist and it's not a false equivalence. People screaming about Dawkins and Hitchens as gods.

Perhaps the Europe vs. US situation is where this comes in. Whoever's the majority might feel entitled to act like complete dicks, while the majority tends to go about their business more quietly. Well, truth be told, I suppose almost everyone goes about their business quietly, but the militant nutbags will only come from whatever group is demographically favored.

Maybe that's wrong. It seems to match our observations though, so I'll tentatively settle on it for now.

---------- Post added 2013-01-27 at 12:41 AM ----------

Bill Maher comes to mind. I don't think you're looking very hard. There are extremists for every ideology under the sun.

I have a hard time seeing Maher as particularly militant. I guess if you think providing commentary for a living more or less automatically means someone's militant, that's that, but I don't perceive him as someone that'd be particularly aggressive in a personal setting.

[Payday]

Belief in god

[Letmesleep]

I have a hard time seeing Maher as particularly militant. I guess if you think providing commentary for a living more or less automatically means someone's militant, that's that, but I don't perceive him as someone that'd be particularly aggressive in a personal setting.

Eh, maybe not militant but he seems to go out of his way to be condescending and insulting towards religion. I can't judge how he'd act in a personal setting, but he seems extremely angry and arrogant to me. That's how I see him at least.

I mean, it's not like I'm a fan of religion or anything, but he just seems like a jerk to me.

[Sand Person]

smoking cigarettes/having kids already before me/wider than me. all are deal breakers.

[Spectral]

Eh, maybe not militant but he seems to go out of his way to be condescending and insulting towards religion. I can't judge how he'd act in a personal setting, but he seems extremely angry and arrogant to me. That's how I see him at least.

I mean, it's not like I'm a fan of religion or anything, but he just seems like a jerk to me.

I agree that he seems like a bit of a jerk, but he seems like just a plain ol' jerk rather than being especially anti-religion. I would think for that actually wanted to date Maher, it wouldn't be anti-religion stridency that'd be the hangup. For me, it'd be his anti-vaccine lunacy.

I guess I'm thinking more along the lines of someone who seems otherwise normal that all of sudden is a complete nut with regard to their religious ideas or lack thereof. I know no such atheists, but I'll grant that this is probably spectacularly skewed by the group of friends I have (about three quarters scientists).

A more reasonable take, from my end, wouldn't be that there's literally no such thing as such people, but that they're incredibly rare. That's US-centric though, maybe this is a thing elsewhere.

[thatbezoguy]

Cheating. You cheat, you're gone.

[Splenda]

-Never wanting children
-Already being married to someone else and having a secret family in Mexico
-Liking Coke over Pepsi
-Liking cats more than dogs
-Not liking Disney movies
-Not liking my unfunny humor :x


That's the big six.

Oh, and being an abusive serial killer maybe, but I guess I could probably live with that depending on the situation.

We're perfect for each other <3

[leggomydairy]

Cheating. You cheat, you're gone.

agreed. ain't nobody got the time, want, or need to play games and shit like that

[Letmesleep]

I agree that he seems like a bit of a jerk, but he seems like just a plain ol' jerk rather than being especially anti-religion. I would think for that actually wanted to date Maher, it wouldn't be anti-religion stridency that'd be the hangup. For me, it'd be his anti-vaccine lunacy

That's possible, maybe he's just an all around angry person.

A more reasonable take, from my end, wouldn't be that there's literally no such thing as such people, but that they're incredibly rare. That's US-centric though, maybe this is a thing elsewhere.

That's fair. I don't personally know any hateful atheists, but I know I've been guilty of sticking my own opinion where it didn't belong before.

We're perfect for each other <3

I was right for her too until the abusive serial killer part. Sorry EN, I just gotta get my kill on every now and then. If you can accept my flaws I'll be waiting for you.

[jahasafrat]

I'm not too picky, I don't even really have a "type" of woman that I generally go for. There are really just three things that I want from a partner: independent, trustworthy, and clean.

[Jibjabb]

If I found she had a STD. Cuz then I wont have sex with her and being in a sex-less relationship isnt really worth it imo. Everything else would require her to do something legitmately psycho since I am a pretty open person to lots of diff styles and personalities

Cheating too. Like sex cheating. I can live with kissing personally, I dont see it as that big of a deal as long as it isnt like a full blown makeout session in front of my face lol.

[Reg]

What about an unnatural love of soup?

Deal breaker!

[Deleted]

I suppose cheating is the one big thing that would immediatly break a relationship.

all other things like smoking, drug use, beliefs of whatever kind are things I'd expect to know about before considering it a 'real' relationship.

[kleinlax21]

Catching her poking holes in my condoms.

Oh my God, I couldn't even contemplate how mad I'd be if I caught my girlfriend doing this.. Sweet baby Jesus, there would be hell to pay.

Personally, I just can't stand people who aren't comfortable in their own skin. My last girlfriend was extremely self-conscious, and I wasn't able to make a single joke at her expense. I place a high value upon self-deprecative humor, as I am of the opinion that truly being able to accept one's flaws and then joke about them is the definition of "being comfortable in your skin". I just can't be with (or even around) people who aren't able to stand confidently knowing their flaws and being comfortable talking about them.

My sisters are pretty insecure, and this definitely reflects in their sensitivity to jokes at their expense. I generally am not as loose with stupid insults around them as I am with my good friends, when we all constantly act like retards at each others' and our own expense. Personally, it's just not very fun hanging around people who are super up-tight about themselves and unable to take even the most overtly facetious criticism. Maybe I am just an asshole, but I could never date a self-concious person ever again.

I don't mean to attack anyone personally for being self-conscious, because I understand how you feel as an extreme introvert throughout high school who constantly worried about every possible facet of my personality and outward appearance. I just can't be somebody's confidence therapist in addition to their boyfriend at the same time. Been there, done that. Now, nothing is more attractive than a girl who is confident and comfortable in her own skin.

[Alvito]

If they have a penis, beyond that there is a ton of grey area.