Is it wrong for a girl to go out with male friends while being in a relationship?

[Sorrior]

Love should be valued greater than friendships. If you keep on being a dick to your loved ones because you value your friends over them, break up.

You don't have to break up your friendship because of a relationship, but for fucks sake, stop going on dates with your friends or take your bf with you.

I didn;t say that..What i was saying is that giving up a friendship because of reasons like this(aka gender differences) does NOT show a healthy or even semi stable individual on the partners side...

Down the line what happens about male corworkers and so on? I've heard of WAY too many cases where this type of thing winds up turning into major problems later on..Also resentment CAN form from it which can sour relationships.

[StayTuned]

Like they do in Muslimia?

That's it. You got nothing better than talking shit about muslims now? That's how you want to argue with me?

[Sorrior]

Love makes people stupid, who then do stupid things like giving up friends. And then when love is gone - so are friends.
The one who's being a dick is a girl asking you to give up your friends.

Exactly..I;ve done this got some back..Other not so much...

[Tazr]

TLDR: I personally don't think it's wrong. That said, it can be awkward, and as you've experienced, a lot of societal mores are stuck in the middle ages. Ultimately, it's up to you if a given friendship is worth the crap you'll get from family and friends/your BF over it.

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I am so tired of hearing that a woman is "asking for rape". First, "no means no" - even if you PLANNED to have sex and changed your mind last minute, it is a woman (or man's) right to decide to call a halt and have things stop AT ANY POINT. Even in the MIDDLE of sex. And that scenario is a HUGE stretch from just hanging out with someone you've established you are FRIENDS with - friends who know you have a BF, no less - and that situation should not remotely be considered "asking for it". It is not your fault that creep from WoW assaulted you (and I am so sorry). A woman either has a measure of trust in men to not behave like animals, or we have to assume they are ALL raping animals, which is no way to live for one's mental and emotional health.

I'm beyond tired of guys being portrayed as helpless victims to the evil machinations of women - who are all scheming seductresses. Men can't help themselves, women ASKED for it (just by existing) and the poor men blamelessly gave in to their natural (and apparently uncontrollable) urges. BULLSHIT. And REAL men should be ashamed to have their entire gender accepted as being weak-willed, mentally deficient animals in that respect - and be up in arms when other men fall upon that weak-ass excuse for brutal, criminal behavior.

Yes, given a chance, most guys would bang anything with a hole. My husband would be the first person to state, "all men are pigs." NOT your problem so long as they aren't rapists - which is something you can't know until it happens - or nearly happens, as in your case. Still not your fault. You aren't psychic, and you have a right to expect to not be raped by someone - especially someone you've known socially for an extended period.

Now, if a guy friend is constantly hitting on you or flirting with real intent, then no, he's not a friend; unless you WANT to move things forward, you need to cut him loose. A male friend that is attracted to you on some level but is also capable of ignoring that attraction is perfectly fine. Our willingness to rise above animal instincts and urges is what makes us PEOPLE.

I tend to get along better with men than women. If you think it's hard having male friends when you're single, try having them when you're married. Current male friends are fine, but cultivating NEW male friends (while still not wrong) is more trouble than it's worth if you are in a relationship. As for the BF, he either trusts you or he doesn't. His being a bit jealous is fine, as long as he's not trying to harass you or control you. My husband isn't bothered by the fact that I have mostly guy friends in WoW, and some of them call and/or text me in RL. We moved to another part of the country for my husband's work, so there are no male friends to hang with in RL, but if I had them, my husband would be fine with it. That said, *I* would feel weird thanks to the BS foisted upon me by society. I'd be worrying that someone hubby and I know would see me and think I was cheating, plus the crap I'd get from my unenlightened family would drive me nuts.

Good luck and hang in there - doesn't take a genius to see there is a rising backlash against women in society. As a woman in her early 40s, it's sad but true to say that I've never felt so much at a disadvantage (and like a second class citizen) for being a woman as I have in recent years. Makes me nervous for our future.

[Elim Garak]

That's it. You got nothing better than talking shit about muslims now? That's how you want to argue with me?

In Muslimia women can't get out to see their male friends without male supervision: husband, brother, dad. This is what you suggested. "Take your bf with you or don't go!"

[StayTuned]

Because hanging out with a friend is a date right... typical.

Oh for fks sake.

Put yourself in the shoes of him. WE KNOW THAT OP DOES NOT HAVE ANY KIND OF ROMANTIC DATES WITH HER FRIENDS.

But he doesn't. He only got her word and this seems to still bother him.

So, OP has exactly TWO options: Break up or cope with it and stop seeing male friends 1on1 all the time.

I can't say what OP has to do now, but those are her options.


Anything else would be unfair... she can't keep on doing whatever she pleases as long as she's making people who love her feel like crap. Not breaking up and keep on doing what she's doing pretty much equals torturing the guy.

---------- Post added 2013-06-09 at 03:15 PM ----------

In Muslimia women can't get out to see their male friends without male supervision: husband, brother, dad. This is what you suggested. "Take your bf with you or don't go!"

That's a complete bull statement. I am not going to let you drag me into your weird arguments. Read my posts and then see if you can still link me to extremists.

If you do so, just leave me alone because you obviously got no idea what I am talking about.

[Granyala]

How about non-romantic friendly 1 on 1 dinner?

Elim, Elim.. you of all Cardassians should now that there is no such thing as an unsuspicious, innocent dinner.

WE KNOW THAT OP DOES NOT HAVE ANY KIND OF ROMANTIC DATES WITH HER FRIENDS.

We know because she (OP) said so. We do not have proof.
Her BF knows because she said so. He also doesn't have proof.

But If he can't trust her, how can they truly love each other?

[StayTuned]

How old is OP anyway?

[Deleted]

I don't care about my GF going out with any of her male friends. I Trust her completely. Although, when she says she is going somewhere with people, obviously i want to know with who she is going. But the main reason for that, is if something happends to me or her, i can't contact her in any possible way, i can connect the people she went out with.

And people saying if a 1 girl goes out with 5 male friends, and that is asking for rape, are complete idiots..

[Sorrior]

Elim, Elim.. you of all Cardassians should now that there is no such thing as an unsuspicious, innocent dinner.

Ok i REALLY wish i could like this post...Seriously i actually wound up chuckling and applauding..Seriously Elim when have you EVER had just a simple dinner?

However also knowing Elim i'm sure he's seen a few cases of such.

[Elim Garak]

Oh for fks sake.

Put yourself in the shoes of him. WE KNOW THAT OP DOES NOT HAVE ANY KIND OF ROMANTIC DATES WITH HER FRIENDS.

But he doesn't. He only got her word and this seems to still bother him.

If he doesn't trust her - there could be no relationship. Her word should suffice.

That's a complete bull statement. I am not going to let you drag me into your weird arguments. Read my posts and then see if you can still link me to extremists.

How so? It's the truth. It's how it is there and it's what you suggested. Next time just think what you are about to say - and don't say it. And did you just call all Muslims - extremists?

[Deleted]

I guess the real question is, how would you feel if it was your boyfriend going out with girls on a 1 to 1 basis? That should be the answer really. If you feel you wouldn't want him doing that, then maybe you should be thinking the same for yourself.

Likewise if you feel you wouldn't mind, then he probably doesn't either.

Trust is a two-way street, and other such cliches.

[Sorrior]

And people saying if a 1 girl goes out with 5 male friends, and that is asking for rape, are complete idiots..

WHO THE FUCK,...I MEAN..WHAT!

Do some people REALLY think that way? Jesus christ how glass half empty can people get....Wait don't answer that please.

[Elim Garak]

Elim, Elim.. you of all Cardassians should now that there is no such thing as an unsuspicious, innocent dinner.

Sometime a dinner is a date, but sometimes it's just a dinner.

[Buttfear]

I am so tired of hearing that a woman is "asking for rape". First, "no means no" - even if you PLANNED to have sex and changed your mind last minute, it is a woman (or man's) right to decide to call a halt and have things stop AT ANY POINT. Even in the MIDDLE of sex.

I've had this conversation with a few women and I've heard some say they would rather just have sex and get it over with than to say no and get roughed up or beaten.

So yes, no means no, but some women are afraid to say it.

[Daili]

Guys don't care about a lot of things and in my opinion this is no exception because I would obviously know the person if the whole her friends are now my friends thing holds true. However, women set a lot of double standards when it come to this because 99.9% of the time women have a problem with the opposite situation. My ex girlfriends have always hated my female friends and would always try to guilt trip me into not hanging out with them so you should probably ask yourself what you would do if the situation were reversed.

[Speaknoevil]

You would wait that long to pull it out?

Nope, but **** happens, and if you get taken by surprise it's better to have it where it would still be accessible.

Okay point taken..I'd go knife then...I'm a melee man anyways LOL.

You're at less risk anyway, being inherently stronger/male.

[Elim Garak]

You're at less risk anyway, being inherently stronger/male.

There's always a stronger male out there looking for him. And truth be told you can't quite melee a male rapist if you are a male yourself. He's kinda behind ya.

[Deleted]

WHO THE FUCK,...I MEAN..WHAT!

Do some people REALLY think that way? Jesus christ how glass half empty can people get....Wait don't answer that please.

I've been in India for 5 months. It as a HUGE minority. But i've actually talked to a group of guys who are indeed thinking this. That if a girl is wearing sexy clothes, goes out blablabla, is just asking for getting raped. And no, they were not joking. But again, i want to be very CLEAR. also here it is obviously complete bullshit.

[Granyala]

Do some people REALLY think that way? Jesus christ how glass half empty can people get....Wait don't answer that please.

Don't know.. maybe they saw too many movies?
Shouldn't she be more safe in a group of individuals she trusts and knows than solo?