Why is every girl taken?

[Cthulhu 2020]

Well it seems mean to me to tell someone I am not interested because they're overweight, not very successful, or not intellectually stimulating enough.

People shouldn't change to appease a potential partner, they should want to better themselves for themselves.

I would never change to appease someone who has already rejected me. Do you not see the advantage in learning what makes people reject you? In social and even work settings, finding out what people DON'T like about you and fixing it becomes a personal improvement for self elevation.

I had someone tell me they weren't interested because the way I looked at people felt like I was looking through them, and I realized I was kind of focusing my vision past people, and that weirds people out. I worked on looking directly into people's eyes and focusing on that point and fixed it.

Learning why people reject you IS personal improvement.

[Kezotar]

I can reinforce that guys hitting on taken girls is not only bad, but usually wont land them anything after they broke up. Well, decent girls anyways. I tend to cross off any guys that do that, because a guy that cant respect other peoples relationships certainly isn't going to respect his own.

Exactly. Thanks man, I just had to hear this! Finally some support man! Goes straight to the heart <3

[Bakis]

If you want a girl/guy no matter your sex you go for it.
Worst that can happen is that there is no interest.
It is as simple as that.

The concept of a 'taken girl/guy' is retarded and for people unsure of their own feelings or having poor self-esteem.
There are no dibs in any form of relationships.
You are either satisfying he needs (love, sex, economically etc) or you are not. If you are what she/he seeks you wont have anything to fear other than your egocentric paranoia of all the nasty potentional partners out there trying to get her/him

As with everything else in life: Dont be a dick and you will be just fine.

[Speaknoevil]

I would never change to appease someone who has already rejected me. Do you not see the advantage in learning what makes people reject you? In social and even work settings, finding out what people DON'T like about you and fixing it becomes a personal improvement for self elevation.

I had someone tell me they weren't interested because the way I looked at people felt like I was looking through them, and I realized I was kind of focusing my vision past people, and that weirds people out. I worked on looking directly into people's eyes and focusing on that point and fixed it.

I see the advantage, but I weighed it against the likelihood that telling them would do them any good; often it will just make them upset.

[Kezotar]

There are different ways to flirt. That's why I said, quote, "in a not-too-obvious way." There's a huge difference between "hitting on" a girl and flirting. The fact that so many people can't figure this out just shows that they have no fucking clue what they're doing.

Flirting is natural. Pretty much everyone does it, including people who are in relationships. Flirting does not equal cheating.

Oh my god, what point in destroying a relationship don't you understand? Seriously. You're hitting on her if you're flirting in a non obvious way. You're not supposed to do that. Where's the morale in that? How can you respect your own relationship if you can't respect others? You can flirt yes, but not with taken girls. I would love to see how you can trust that girl afterwards. Seriously, BAD TIP. BADBAD.

[Macloud]

**EDIT**

Double post fail.

[Cthulhu 2020]

I see the advantage, but I weighed it against the likelihood that telling them would do them any good; often it will just make them upset.

I guess that is the norm, being blunt would piss the insecure off. Sigh, other men ruining my attempts at self improvement.

[Crissi]

Exactly. Thanks man, I just had to hear this! Finally some support man! Goes straight to the heart <3

*high fives*

There's this guy who keeps contacting me for a hookup regardless if I'm in a relationship or not. Totally not cool...*hits guy over the head with a hammer*

[Orcbert]

Some people are telling you not to change yourself to please someone else. These people are wrong.

Listen, you change as you go. When you meet someone you change together. You take on some things from them and vise versa. If there is something about you that your partner doesn't like you change it within reason.

Example: I used to raid like 4 days a week a few years ago. I met a girl, she was not a fan of me being unavailable 4 nights a week and she didn't much care for video games. Fast forward 5 years and we raid together 2 nights a week. She changed as did I.

This doesn't mean to just ditch your core but be prepared to meet someone in the middle or the best you're gonna get is a long running relationship that ends in frustration and divorce.

[Macloud]

I do hate cliches. It is the same with It's what's on the inside that counts.
Same stupid bullshit

One either sync with someone or they dont.
Not being a dick and not being what currently is considered ugly helps.
Eye of the beholder crap is seriously just for someone shit out of luck that need a saying to believe the got a chanse instead of believing in themselves (which might not lead anywhere, or it might).

Cliches stinks.

I'm going to agree with this guy. Listen if you want to get a girl period, you need to A. be attractive (as in doing what needs to be done to MAKE yourself attractive if you're not) and B. be confident/funny/however you want to phrase it. You need to stick out, be noticeable amongst the crowd of other guys wanting their attention. Everything else will fall into place because once you have their attention, they're more likely to stick around long enough to see how "awesome" your personality is and subsequently maintain interest.

Contrary to what some people (usually the friend-zoned ones) think, you can't be a nice guy 100% of the time. Women hate that shit, and they don't respect it (seriously, NO girl likes a "walking carpet"), and to be honest, women have always, and WILL always thrive on drama. There's an excitement factor to it that separates nice guys from "dicks," because someone who's just enough of a dick to keep them interested will ALWAYS come out ahead of the guy who's nice to them 100% of the time. Don't put them on a pedestal. They're human too. It's OK to argue with them. It's OK to call them out on their shit. Women WANT a guy who doesn't let them walk all over them.

My point is that if you want women to notice you, and WANT to be with you and not the other guy, you need to stick out in some way. Being that physical attraction is the number one initiator for ANY relationship, they need to be physically attracted to you for you to have any kind of chance. Don't believe the "beauty is on the inside" bullshit. It's obviously great to have a good personality to match good looks, but if someone's not attracted to you physically, there's no hope for the relationship anyway. That's why the friend-zone exists, because women (and men too) will always prefer to have the best of both worlds (looks AND personality) over settling for one. And even IF you managed to get them on a date, they're only going to do it for free food or to be nice, subsequently giving you the "we're better off as friends" speech as soon as they meet a better looking guy anyway.

You might not like that getting the girl of your dreams comes down to these two things, but that's how it's always been, and that's how it's always going to be. Women naturally gravitate towards whatever guy is more "alpha" within a group of guys, and the one they're most physically attracted to (who oozes that self-confidence they love) is always going to be a clear winner there. If you want that girl of your dreams, remind yourself that there's million other women JUST like the one you're crushing on (this helps in case she's not into you, because you can literally find another million with the same qualities), and remember to make yourself stand out. If you're not attractive (as in you don't have friends or other girls telling you that you are on a regular basis), do what you need to to change your image. It'll obviously boost your confidence, and that's the second part of the whole thing anyway. Working out and staying healthy does wonders for this. Be you, but be a better you if the current you isn't attracting the women you're interested in. That's all it boils down to.

[Belloc]

Oh my god, what point in destroying a relationship don't you understand? Seriously. You're hitting on her if you're flirting in a non obvious way. You're not supposed to do that. Where's the morale in that? How can you respect your own relationship if you can't respect others? You can flirt yes, but not with taken girls. I would love to see how you can trust that girl afterwards. Seriously, BAD TIP. BADBAD.

Might as well just never show any interest in the girls you like and never have a chance then, eh?

[Kezotar]

*high fives*

There's this guy who keeps contacting me for a hookup regardless if I'm in a relationship or not. Totally not cool...*hits guy over the head with a hammer*

Yeah exactly. Oh well, good to know that there exists girls that reject those guys. For my GF I can totally trust her with this. I just can't see what the guys are looking for doing it this way. Do they really think the girl will fall for them?

[Mihalik]

Seriously. Every single one that I'm half way interested in already has someone. And no they aren't just saying that because I usually find out somehow without asking them. Every girl that I want anything to do with is in a relationship. Answer this for me.

Well...

You somewhat answered your own question there haven't you?

Every girl you are interested in is taken...

With other words, all the girls with desirable qualities are appreciated by others and are thus are already in a relationship.

The thing is this also perfectly goes the other way around.

Guys with desirable qualities are usually always in a relationship, at least that is the female perspective.

And desirable qualities are not necessarily the ones you think they are. Also not every girl is looking for the same qualities. One girl might be looking for a more physical relationship, the other a more emotionally involving one, the other might be looking for an intellectual relationship etc.

The trick is finding a girl who is buying what you are selling, and who also happens to be selling things you are buying.

[Bakis]

Oh my god, what point in destroying a relationship don't you understand? Seriously. You're hitting on her if you're flirting in a non obvious way. You're not supposed to do that. Where's the morale in that? How can you respect your own relationship if you can't respect others? You can flirt yes, but not with taken girls. I would love to see how you can trust that girl afterwards. Seriously, BAD TIP. BADBAD.

Sounds like an unhealthy (unstable) relationship if it is in such a jepordy as soon as someone flirt with either one.
A relationship should have no trouble deflecting flirts, if someone turn out to be intrusive and keep trying over and over then tell them so cos it is lame, as lame as "buhuhuhhuhu someone had the nerv to flirt with my girlfriend"

[Kezotar]

Might as well just never show any interest in the girls you like and never have a chance then, eh?

Dude, there's other girls out there, in addition. Wait patiently for the girl to break up with her boyfriend without you ruining the relationship. How would like a guy hitting on your girl? What would you say to you girl, stop talking to him? What if she ends up saying, he's just a friend. But yet you know he's hitting on your girl? Yeah.. not a good feeling.

- - - Updated - - -

Sounds like an unhealthy (unstable) relationship if it is in such a jepordy as soon as someone flirt with either one.

It sure is! But that's not the point. Most girls wont fall for it, really. But as a guy really, you're not supposed to do that, that's just a douche move.

[Sylreick]

Oddly relevant image, usually how things end up.

Be confident and take a leap every now and again. Worst thing that happens is you get rejected, but you started with nothing so you don't lose anything by trying.

[Bakis]

Oddly relevant image, usually how things end up.

Be confident and take a leap every now and again. Worst thing that happens is you get rejected, but you started with nothing so you don't lose anything by trying.

Being 4 in the morning on a sunday... the 2/3 pick meant something completly differnt to me than the Attractive / Single / Mentally Sane options with that picture

[Seani]

A woman with a boyfriend is hardly taken. Imagine all the relationships that have turned into a marriage or an exclusive relationship no one would get anywhere if they waited for the woman to be single. If your in high school just have fun, none of these girls are really 'taken.' Just because a girl walking around with a guy in the hallway doesn't mean anything.

[Belloc]

Dude, there's other girls out there, in addition. Wait patiently for the girl to break up with her boyfriend without you ruining the relationship. How would like a guy hitting on your girl? What would you say to you girl, stop talking to him? What if she ends up saying, he's just a friend. But yet you know he's hitting on your girl? Yeah.. not a good feeling.

How do you not understand the difference between light flirting and hitting-on? I'm not suggesting he try to get them to break up, I'm suggesting he make her subconsciously aware that he's interested in her so that he has a chance when they do inevitably break up.

It sounds like you've been fucked over by someone before. That sucks, but that doesn't mean that every time someone flirts, they're trying to steal your girl. You need to learn that there's a difference between what you're saying and what I'm suggesting. Either that, or you have other issues. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

[Crumpet]

If the girls you like already have boyfriends, then here's a neat little trick to try: Become their friends, be patient, and flirt with them in a friendly/not-too-obvious way. Eventually, if you're compatible, they'll start liking you like you like them. They will, at some point, break up and you will have your chance.

If you're giving up just because a woman has a boyfriend, you're probably not as interested in them as you think.

I'm not saying to get them to cheat -- that's wrong. But there's nothing wrong with them developing a natural interest in you while they're seeing someone else.

That's one of the most stupid thing I've ever read, and girls know when it's happening, seriously. We can almost smell it, we learn quickly who are our friends and who the jerks are, we associate guys like that as vultures waiting for their turn at a piece of meat. Luckily decent guys outnumber the vultures.

It's also known as manipulation, and if it does work on some girl, it means she's fickle and will once again jump ship when another guy comes along and pulls the same trick.


Here's a REAL "trick" respect the girl, bf or not. there are no tricks. If she's not attracted to you, she's not attracted. Don't try to slowly manipulate her with subtle little tricks. Simple as. There's no special attract-o-meter to fill up like in games, y'know. If you see being "friendzoned" as a loss, then re-evaluate your priorities. If nothing else, you get a friend! Friends are good!

Also, decent girls don't thrive on drama.... don't be "That self-entitled nice guy" and don't be a jerk, just be your normal self and talk to girls like they're, you know, people.


On a lighter note, I don't think I could ever date a brony. I met one once, and the only way I could relate to his ramblings was to tell him what I did with my original my little pony collection as a little girl (I sent them off to war with each other after my Dad let me watch Braveheart when I was 6)

Unsurprisingly he never wanted to see me again. We screw up lots too xD