Extreme sexism in pug RBGs

[Deleted]

Only way to show them was to prove them wrong.
And you didnt

[Leonora]

Everyone has triggerpoints that can cause them to be off balance and play badly. You clearly met one of your such triggers; no shame in that. You already have proven yourself with your pvp ranking and can gain confidence from that.

You dont have to accept bad behaviour, it is perfectly allowable to maintain your own standard. Maintaining your own standard *can* lead to ignoring/muting players you dont like, or asking the group to kick such players, or leaving yourself because you value your time higher than to waste it on such people. There are a lot of people who do not enjoy abuse yet play well. Finding them is something that requires attention but can be very rewarding in fun gameplay in the long run - it is how I enjoy my guild.

You can also learn to ignore such abuse, to just take it. Not my way, but each their own.

Or you can become more assertive: respond back, both in words (establish what you accept and dont accept) and actions (show them you can play). Assertiveness is something you can practice, there are courses or you can make roleplays yourself (the other acts like an abuser, and you say back what you would have liked to say; then stand still at how that works for you).

I find the respons of your friend rather weak; without a mic, typing would have worked too - it is much more likely your friend did not wish to rock the boat or dare to be confrontational; again a case of 'how do you wish to spend your play time'. Maybe you can practice being assertive on each other via roleplay .

[Manhands]

[...horrifying comment...]

Contribute constructively

Contribute constructively?! As if breaking some arbitrary rules of 'forum-post constructiveness' took precedence over their inimicality.

At least he's banned. The internet, sometimes...

[Nayelie]

Picture very related




Now that that is out of the way, I feel for you chica. Being a girl in this game is hard sometimes. Back in Cata, I was tired of being on a raid team, so I did all of DS through pugs. And I learned to never speak in vent unless 1) I heard another girl or 2) I knew someone in the vent. If I spoke without one of those two, it was always a flurry of "omg a girl", with several of them going crazy in vent, and then one or two of them whispering me with apologies about their guildies, but letting me know that they were true gentlemen.

I don't know why we can't just all game in peace sometimes

[Manhands]

To me it sounds like you got into just an unlucky and shitty group of people since from my personal exp, ive never seen an experience that bad before (Ive been playing this game since beta of vanilla, and ive seen my fair share of people and their stupidity in wow). In pvp people tend to be more harsher i find but from a pve perspective (i dont pvp all that often); i have heard people say negative things about a woman playing but very rarely. I have raided with a bunch of 25 man guilds that had a few female members while doing heroic content, and no one complained or said anything negative.

My best advice is to report them, and to prove them wrong. Back in BC i was a retribution paladin (ive always been) and at that time they wernt in the best shape and alot of people refused to take any ret to raids because they thought they had shit damage. So when i got some dumb ass telling me sorry but he wouldnt take me to a raid or invite me to a raiding guild because i was ret i would respond with: "i will be one of your top dps and live in 99% of boss fights". And then i would go into his raid and bust my ass to prove them wrong, and sure enough i would be one of the top (would even get whispered that they were sorry they doubted me). So if i was in your shoes i would of said: yes im a woman, and watch me destroy you and win this bg.

In short what im trying to say is people are stupid and they assume things without even giving someone a shot, they judge a book by its cover. Report dicks that whispered you, dont let it get you down and prove them wrong. Show them you are a good player, and make them eat their words when you destroy them in that bg by being the best dps, healer, flag caper or what ever you got to be to be the MVP of the team.

The OP said this was the worst experiences in 6+ years, so most of this is not helpful: (1) Your anecdotes do not overwrite how distressing the situation was; (2) reporting them does absolutely nothing, suspensions cause hatred toward Blizzard, not reflections on behavior; (3) the last paragraph is almost certainly already known to the OP.

Pithy sayings and a quick pat on the back do not do justice.

@OP What you went through is completely horrid. Being male, I have not faced that kind of aggression or sexism, but as a human, I feel sympathy toward you and rage toward them. May you find a group that appreciates your skill.

[Deleted]

Wow, those must've been the smartest guys in arenas EVER!

You can clearly see how they have learnt to attack their own weakest player to assure their victo...wait a minute....

I'm getting the idea that those players aren't the smartest ones around. The only thing that made their group weaker was their reaction to a girl.
How stupid do you need to be to attack your own members without them actually doing anything wrong so far?

O well...I hope your ignore list wasn't full yet.

[Arwald]

From my 10 years of mmo experience I can say that I don't have a problem with girl gamers in PUGs but in my guild I follow a strict "no females" policy. This is not because I dislike women or thing they are worse gamers but because I know their mere existence will disrupt the guilds social structure, through no fault of their own, but because some guys will no longer be able to act rationally with a girl in voice/guildchat.

This might be sexist and unfair against females because its the guys that are stupid, but for me its a numbers game. I can't have a guild of mostly females because of numbers and mixing a few females with a lot of males is a recipe for desaster so it's a sausage party.

[muto]

Battleground heroes being assholes, more news at 11.

I don't think I've ever been in a BG that didn't have at least one asshole in it.

- - - Updated - - -

From my 10 years of mmo experience I can say that I don't have a problem with girl gamers in PUGs but in my guild I follow a strict "no females" policy. This is not because I dislike women or thing they are worse gamers but because I know their mere existence will disrupt the guilds social structure, through no fault of their own, but because some guys will no longer be able to act rationally with a girl in voice/guildchat.

This might be sexist and unfair against females because its the guys that are stupid, but for me its a numbers game. I can't have a guild of mostly females because of numbers and mixing a few females with a lot of males is a recipe for desaster so it's a sausage party.

What is the maturity level of the average player in your guild? That of a 13 year old?

[Deleted]

A similar thing happened to me:

I was doing a flexible raid (14 people total) where the other 13 players were all girls. We all joined mumble and as soon as we started checking mics and they figured out I was a guy, all hell broke loose. "Oooh we have a bad boy here", "Yeah a boy, no grown man plays games", "He is probably drooling because we are all gals, searching for the kleenex... ewww...". This was rather disturbing, but I decided to continue on and prove them that I am not just some perv boy on the internet and I can indeed raid.

So we start killing Immerseus and I am doing really well killing the shadow blobs on my undead frost mage (killing like 4 at a time on my own) but then in the later stages we start dying to AOE, because they didn't heal the water blobs. So as any good raid member should, I mention what went wrong - "I think DPS was really solid but healers need to heal the blobs or we gonna die to AOE", and that is where they started viciously attacking me:

"Oh here he is, the DPS bad boy, thinking he is better than the girls"
"Yeah trying to compensate for your small penis with your big DPS numbers?"
"You may top the dmg meters, but you sure ain't topping no girl in your life"
"Typical guy, never plays a healer, always DPS, but teaches others how to play"
"He's an undead mage, probably so greasy long-haired metal-head in real life, hahaha"

I was SHOCKED. I did great DPS, wanted to give some advice but they shunned me because I was a guy. This was really painful, because I didn't choose to be a man, that's just what I happened to be born as. I should have left when I realized they were sexist in the begining and there were 13 of them - the devil's number. They kicked me out of the raid with the words - "Move out of your Mom's basement, get a construction job, you're not a boy anymore to play games"

Have any of you guys experienced anything like this? Damn I feel horrible, makes me want to cry.

[ringpriest]

People were mean on the internet?!? Quick, what is the number to all the newspapers in the world!

Sarcasm aside - Toughen up, realize that assholes will be everywhere(me included with my initial statement), and just learn to ignore all that shit.

Request granted.

[Novx]

Faceless people are assholes. So are teenagers. And so are competitive gamers. Unfortunately you're just likely to run into all three of them doing RBGs or Arena.

People are assholes in person too, billionaires are assholes, foreign leaders are assholes...Not just gamers....


Just a side note: 1800-2200 rbgs? That is a REALLY big rating difference. If you don't like sexism in pug rbgs...don't pug rbgs?

[Sithalos]

I just had the worst WoW experience of my life, after playing the game for 6+ years.

I was invited to a 1800-2.2k rbg group by my friend. I do fear speaking in Skype with randoms as I've experienced sexism many times in pvp on WoW. They did a mic check, and I was hesitating on speaking, but in the end I spoke and they all found out that I was a girl. Now, I'm not low-rated or anything; I have Gladiator and am currently 2.1k rated and I do not expect to get carried by anyone. But the first thing they said upon finding out I was a girl was, "Oh, it's a girl. We're going to lose" "Don't want to carry some dumb bitch" and some mimicking of my voice ensued. And of course, I was very shocked and taken aback.

This caused me to be completely quiet throughout the game and I ended up not paying attention to their calls. I missed their call on asking me to peel back from the flag and then all hell went loose. I had 3 people yelling at me calling me retarded, stupid and worst of all, "she's a girl she can't listen for shit". I had one of them whispering me calling me retarded and an idiot and I was trying to defend myself, saying that I accidentally wasn't listening because everyone was being so mean. I got kicked from the call and I promptly left the group in the middle of the bg.

I really should have left at the first hint of sexism but I wanted so badly to prove them wrong, and only made things worse.

This is the first pug rbg I've done and it's made me very afraid to do any more. Have any of you girls or guys out there had any experiences/witnessed something like this or was I just incredibly unlucky?

Almost every time I try to set up an RBG with oQueue, I run into this. They get kicked from the group instantly though, because I don't tolerate socially awkward pigs (Which most PvPers are, sadly..).

While you might want to "Prove them wrong" or whatever, I wouldn't bother. People that act like this don't have the mental capacity to grasp when they've been put in their place.

Just leave, and find a better group.

[Snaige]

I've received a ton of bad stuff myself, nothing about my skills yet, well, so far at least
Generally I avoid talking on pug vent if I can, unless some ability really HAS to be called out, or I dc or something.

Worst I've gotten was probably when I had to leave a raid earlier and said so, then a guy said: You women should be tied to radiators and beaten so you won't leave.
I believe he meant it jokingly but wasn't funny at all to me <.<

[Shelly]

A similar thing happened to me:

I was doing a flexible raid (14 people total) where the other 13 players were all girls. We all joined mumble and as soon as we started checking mics and they figured out I was a guy, all hell broke loose. "Oooh we have a bad boy here", "Yeah a boy, no grown man plays games", "He is probably drooling because we are all gals, searching for the kleenex... ewww...". This was rather disturbing, but I decided to continue on and prove them that I am not just some perv boy on the internet and I can indeed raid.

So we start killing Immerseus and I am doing really well killing the shadow blobs on my undead frost mage (killing like 4 at a time on my own) but then in the later stages we start dying to AOE, because they didn't heal the water blobs. So as any good raid member should, I mention what went wrong - "I think DPS was really solid but healers need to heal the blobs or we gonna die to AOE", and that is where they started viciously attacking me:

"Oh here he is, the DPS bad boy, thinking he is better than the girls"
"Yeah trying to compensate for your small penis with your big DPS numbers?"
"You may top the dmg meters, but you sure ain't topping no girl in your life"
"Typical guy, never plays a healer, always DPS, but teaches others how to play"
"He's an undead mage, probably so greasy long-haired metal-head in real life, hahaha"

I was SHOCKED. I did great DPS, wanted to give some advice but they shunned me because I was a guy. This was really painful, because I didn't choose to be a man, that's just what I happened to be born as. I should have left when I realized they were sexist in the begining and there were 13 of them - the devil's number. They kicked me out of the raid with the words - "Move out of your Mom's basement, get a construction job, you're not a boy anymore to play games"

Have any of you guys experienced anything like this? Damn I feel horrible, makes me want to cry.

Seems like this would be a good place to leave these:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqTvdz7mv7c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eAYUHC7E4A

It's kinda like what that guy wrote, only funny.

[Kivimetsan]

lol pvp is always like this, its full of little retards that think they can talk shit but irl they're nothing, so because they're extremely insecure about there pathetic social lives they take it out on whoever they can online, its hilarious.
At least PvE isn't always like that.

[But I Hate You All]

I hate girls who lead you on making you think they got feelings for you just so you can give them stuff then they throw you in the ditch.

Consider that sexism if you want but its reality. 80% of females I've talked to in WoW are like that.

Stop looking for love online.

[calculating]

Sounds like you need a better caliber of friends

[But I Hate You All]

Picture very related
Now that that is out of the way, I feel for you chica. Being a girl in this game is hard sometimes. Back in Cata, I was tired of being on a raid team, so I did all of DS through pugs. And I learned to never speak in vent unless 1) I heard another girl or 2) I knew someone in the vent. If I spoke without one of those two, it was always a flurry of "omg a girl", with several of them going crazy in vent, and then one or two of them whispering me with apologies about their guildies, but letting me know that they were true gentlemen.

I don't know why we can't just all game in peace sometimes

I agree with you....I am a guy and I have no fucking clue why some men/boys that play this game act like they been locked in prison for 30 yrs. Girls says something on vent and they freak out like OMFG A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. That shit really annoys me and I do not understand it

[Jinouga]

People only talk shit over the internet because they know nothing is going to happen to them so they feel all high and mighty
if you approched someone like that something to their face IRL they'd either apologize or get offended/pissed.

[Gandrake]

The people you play the game with is like a bag of grapes. Do you stop eating the grapes just because a few of them were really small and sour?

People always talk shit about how bad the wow community is. Been playing since BC and there are very few incidents that were just absolutely as ridiculous as some people make them out to be. Sure, they were bad experiences, but I've had more fun playing the game and interacting with other players than not. People just get this illusion because they read too much shit posted by forum warriors or people who are just /b/tards.

Get yourself a thicker skin, crack that whip at those nerds with their monitor tans. Get all snippy and be like "really? fucking seriously?" prattle on about some shit about how they probably live with their mom and can't get a job and suck ass at everything in life including video games, and are taking out their frustration on you because getting laid is the most difficult boss encounter they have ever attempted.