Coming out to my guild

[Deleted]

While noone in my guild is transexual as far as I know, we have had several come out as gay.

My recommendation is to just stop hiding it. Slip something in a conversation. That's how i've seen gay guys do it before. "Can't come to raid next Thursday, me and boyfriend is going to the movies". Very few reactions ("Did you say boyfriend? Didn't know you were gay. What movie? Transformers sucked"). Not sure how you would slip in something that reveal that you are transsexual, and I suspect any suggestion I could come up with would sound bigoted and ignorant, so I will leave that up to you.

If you act like it's all natural and no big deal, most people will just go with it. In many cases, people may very well think that you have been open about it all along, and that they just never cought it.

If you make a big deal out of it, so will others. If you don't, neither will others. Bigots will always exist, but unless you are in a really bad and unpleasant guild, they will know very well that their opinions are not accepted and just keep their mouths shut.

[Ilyanda]

As with everything, you should come out to the people closest to you and most likely to accept you first. Speak to close friends, then officers and taking it gradually, making sure you have the support you need. It only takes one asshol to ruin everything for you if you come out all at once, but if you have a strong support group that asshol will be drowned out in no time flat.

I wish you the best of luck and I hope that all goes well for you in this.

P.S. Let us know how it goes!

[SoundOfGuns]

I'm a MtF transwoman who's out in IRL to close friends and my girlfriend. I never had huge amounts of worries coming out to them as I'd been though stuff with them and knew they'd accept me. I don't know why but I feel more nervous and more anxiety about coming our to my current guild. Using teamspeak in male voice makes me feel uncomfortable now since I use my female voice 90% of the time in public now. Raiding is becoming draining now just from pretending to be something I'm not.

Mostly worried abour losing my raid spot and the community I love on Al'Akir - Horde. Don't want to have to relm swap as I have 11 90s there and although beginning again on another server mirrors my life with starting again I can't help feeling attached to the geeat community on Al'Akir.

Dunno what the point of this post is guess I just wanted to vent and get some oppions on how to go about it since it's coming out to about to lots of people at once which is the scariest bit. Maybe just coming out to my raid roster then the guild or something..

Really wasnt sure if the was offtopic or wow since it's a mix of both.

If your Guild and Raid would really boost you out because of this... well you know what they say - and i am sure it was said before but i missed it - they are not worth the worry. They should accept you how you are. They know you since i while i assume, and if thats not enough to know you as a great person and accept you like that i don't know what else is. They may can argue you did not tell them the whole truth but in this case this does not really apply when you think about it... Its not exactly their bushiness to begin with.

I keep both my thumps pressed anyway that it proofs itself your worries where needless. Either way though, if it doesnt work out, its like someone said before; You already told the people that matter and as it seems they treat you like you deserve... Everyone judging you here should drop off a cliff anyway, frankly. ;D Merry Christmas.

[joppas]

I dont know Your guild or what relationship you have With them so it's hard to say. If someone i knew only from wow told me something like that i wouldn't have anything against it but would find it wierd they decided to share it with me as i dont know them in real life. It's a game, if you dont like Your current situation i would say go for it and tell them or find another guild and apply as the gender you are most comfertable With.

[nulir]

Why does any of this matter in a WoW raiding guild? Why did you start using a male voice on your guild's voice chat if you didn't like presenting as a male? Why even care what they think, just start being yourself and deal with it? None of this matters.

If you absolutely *must* do it, then just be blunt and move on. Don't dwell on it or make it a big deal and nobody else will if your guild is worth a damn.

Been in this guild longer than I've identified as a woman so was only natural.

[coldrain]

so we can post about anything off topic to WoW general. as long as we say it has something to do with the people we talk to while playing Wow? Sexual preference/life choices have nothing to do with playing in the fantasy world of azeroth.

How can I tell my guild I actually like mayo on some foods? Some of them are clearly against mayonnaise on food and I feel I will be shunned for the rest of my WoW career due to this shocking revelation that has nothing to do with the game

[fluffyme]

From having gay (never had a transgendered friend) friends whenever they have come out now that their older they have always had to make life changes regarding family, living etc....
From this stand point all I can tell you is JOIN A NEW RAIDING GUILD!
seriously save yourself the hassle of this backfiring which sadly I believe it will 100 percent. In person-person contact people can see that your serious and feel your pain, however on the internet people dont give two hoots about your feelings. Plus your trying to gain the acceptance of not 1,2,3,4 people but maybe 20,30,40 which is impossible. I had a gay guy in my raiding guild that came out and whenever the opportunity appeared gay jokes or references were made by others.
Join a new raiding guild and be a female. No changing servers, no harassment, new friends that wont remember you as a guy, you'll be treated as a real female if thats what you want. Only positives!
I truly hope the best for you and hope you can enjoy yourself however you want to!

[zeekphreak]

Good luck girl. Honestly if I was in a guild with you I'd not be perturbed in the least. Be yourself and to hell with those who can't accept that.

[enphestid]

just adding 2c

If it will make you feel more comfortable , you should. Be yourself , they except or don't. Fuck em. It's better to be yourself than exist as something you do not wish to be.

[kaikoraimi]

+1 to the "simply be yourself & use your comfortable voice" count. I hope it goes well for you with the guild.

[Mihalik]

I personally don't care if my guild mates or real life friends call themselves Jack or Jenny. Same person as far I care. And if your Guild mates can't handle it, you shouldn't be associating yourself with them anyways, as it's not worth it.

Now even if they fully accept you, expect some friendly teasing! If your guild mates are dudes, that just comes with the territory and as long as they are good humored and not offensive, take it as such. If it crosses a line, make it clear, and if they are normal and sane people there won't be an issue.

[Deleted]

While I have no clue about gender insanity... If you are pulling your worth in the raid I don't see a problem, as long as it's not some casual social guild since they are full of social rules nodbody can really explain. For better players rl is just being afk - nobody cares what you do or are while afking.

[meathead]

Why do all posts like this share the same poor grammar and spelling? Hmm...

OT: OP's issue (if you had read) was not to share her personal life out of nowhere, but how to transition her voice as a raid leader from a voice they're all so used to...

Comprehension.

why do people like lyou feel the need to try and dis credit a well thought out post?o look he made a type o =loser.grow the fuck up.


to the OP-read my first post-

again-if you really like the people in your guild and playing with them-dont make waves.do not involve real life issues in wow,remember wow is a game and most play it as an escape from the every day grind.

you know that old saying about never talking about politics in a bar?well that can be applied to many many different topics and in more ways then one "gaming included".

[This post was infracted for flaming.]

[dokilar]

id like to think if theyre your friend they wont give a shit, but who knows anymore these days.

i remember back in vanilla/BC we had a guy that was gay in our guild. we never knew it. he told us all one night and it didnt change anything. he was still funny and part of our group.

ive never had a problem with peoples sexuality, its not my place nor purpose to judge so whatever

[thedingleberry]

Don't tell your guildies. Unless you are in an IRL friends and family guild, despite how well you think you know your guildies, most of them are probably complete strangers outside the game, and from what i've seen in game, the people that play are in majority a bunch of closet racists and bigots. It's easy for people to spew hate when they think they cannot be touched for it. You are looking for a world of hate if you come out to people in the game.

[-Superman-]

Kinda amazing the amount of people that don't read the OP.

Sadly, this is true of most threads

Just be yourself OP. In the end, they can't take that away from you. I wish you well with your reveal and hope you get a chance to let go of one voice and embrace the other full time.

[Louis CK]

why do people like lyou feel the need to try and dis credit a well thought out post?o look he made a type o =loser.grow the fuck up.


to the OP-read my first post-

again-if you really like the people in your guild and playing with them-dont make waves.do not involve real life issues in wow,remember wow is a game and most play it as an escape from the every day grind.

you know that old saying about never talking about politics in a bar?well that can be applied to many many different topics and in more ways then one "gaming included".

My apologies for noting the common thread of illiteracy and lack of education that seems to always accompany such bigoted opinions. I suppose you're correct, and you're entire post was one large typo.

Although, it's still quite obvious you have yet to address the issue the OP is discussing, even though it's been pointed out directly to you.

Carry on.

[nulir]

Response was moderately ok. I'm raid leading tonight but only a couple of the raiders know so will likely have more explaining a shit to do then which will waste valuable pull time since I'd like to get another kill tonight since this is our last raid till 2014.

Responses on the guild forum went well for the most part but not everyone's seen it, not really had any abuse over it (yet but hopefully not) but have been getting creepy whispers from level 1s since then so have at least one chaser in the guild which was what I was probably most afraid of. If that doesn't become an issue then should have gone well but tonight's raid and if chasers stop spam whispers. Kinda afraid of how to respond just since I don't want anything spamming into /2.

Will edit OP or something after raid

[-Superman-]

Response was moderately ok. I'm raid leading tonight but only a couple of the raiders know so will likely have more explaining a shit to do then which will waste valuable pull time since I'd like to get another kill tonight since this is our last raid till 2014.

Responses on the guild forum went well for the most part but not everyone's seen it, not really had any abuse over it (yet but hopefully not) but have been getting creepy whispers from level 1s since then so have at least one chaser in the guild which was what I was probably most afraid of. If that doesn't become an issue then should have gone well but tonight's raid and if chasers stop spam whispers. Kinda afraid of how to respond just since I don't want anything spamming into /2.

Will edit OP or something after raid

Here's hoping the best for ya Good luck tonight!

[Spazzer]

First. Be yourself and be happy. No one can change that.

I'm a 'very' straight male so it's hard to comment on subjects like this because I simply don't know much about it; nonetheless, I would support anyone regardless of how I know them even if it was by an online video game. However, if my 48 year old baritone voice raid leader started shouting at me in a feminine voice I would lose my mind and probably be very confused and need a pillow.

P.S. I looked through this post and saw nothing regarding my next question... so I wanted to ask and I am really curious... but I don't want to come across ignorant. But... I will take a chance anyways. Is your mmo-champion profile picture you?

Keep your head up.

~Spazzer