Pregnancy disagreements show the value of marriage

[zlygork]

I would think it would be somewhere in the realm of rape. Whatever you call "lying to someone to trick them to have sex with you". That's as old as time so it's got to have a name.

In my head it's rape if the non-use of protection wasn't consensual. It would certainly be judged as rape if it was the guy that sneakily took his condom off midway through penetration.

[The Penguin]

Archaic albiet crude solution. Don't marry or have sex if you don't intend to have kids.

Or if that's a bust.. Rosy Palm knows how men like it, and she's never gotten pregnant yet?

[Endus]

The two (ghosting and lying about birth control) are semantically equivalent. We can debate about whether or not they fall under "sexual harassment", but if one does, they both do. Personally, I think they should if only for the sake of more severe consequences as a deterrent.

They aren't, really. Ghosting puts the woman at unexpected and undesired risk of STD transfer, or impregnation, both of which have direct negative effects on her body. It's that negative effect on her body that makes it an assault.

Birth control pills don't affect capacity to transfer STDs, and the guy can't get impregnated, so there's no comparable assault in that instance.

[Mistame]

They aren't, really. Ghosting puts the woman at unexpected and undesired risk of STD transfer, or impregnation, both of which have direct negative effects on her body. It's that negative effect on her body that makes it an assault.

Birth control pills don't affect capacity to transfer STDs, and the guy can't get impregnated, so there's no comparable assault in that instance.

Both are a direct violation of the consent of intercourse.

[Endus]

Both are a direct violation of the consent of intercourse.

I never said that secretly stopping your birth control was "okay". It's not a form of assault, whereas slipping the agreed-upon condom off is, for the reasons stated. Stopping taking birth control isn't a criminal issue at all. The guy might have a civil case, but he wasn't put at any physical risk, unlike the other way around.

[Mistame]

I never said that secretly stopping your birth control was "okay". It's not a form of assault, whereas slipping the agreed-upon condom off is, for the reasons stated. Stopping taking birth control isn't a criminal issue at all. The guy might have a civil case, but he wasn't put at any physical risk, unlike the other way around.

You're being pedantic. My point was that they're ethically equivalent. But if we're going to argue semantics, then we can change the "stopped taking birth control" to "stole semen from a spent condom" and then both parties are equally violated.

[Endus]

You're being pedantic. My point was that they're ethically equivalent.

Since one puts your partner at significant physical risk, and the other does not, I can't agree that they are.

But if we're going to argue semantics, then we can change the "stopped taking birth control" to "stole semen from a spent condom" and then both parties are equally violated.

No, because again, you're missing/ignoring the physical risk component, which is why ghosting is considered significantly worse.

[Hiricine]

After having spent just about all of my adult life in long term relationships where I could trust a partner not to do that kind of thing, these women are scum of the worst kind though I don't have much pity for the guys dumb enough to be having unprotected sex with them.

It should probably be a criminal act to lie about using birth control, the current legal framework doesn't address the issue well.

[Katchii]

I am not my husband's owner. I can't prevent him from making choices about his own body. Nor would I try to guilt him into making any choice about his body. If he wants to make a choice for his body based on me, that's up to him. Am I grateful, sure, but that doesn't mean I am entitled to him doing it for me, nor does it mean I owe him anything.

The choices I make for my own body has nothing to do with anyone but me. That fact that I wouldn't put a bomb inside my body doesn't mean I am making that choice to ensure others won't blow up, it means I don't want my body to blow up. Enjoy the benefits of my choice all you want, but you are neither entitled to them nor owe me for them.

And yes, he was fully aware of that risk of a vasectomy before he made his choice.

I didn't mean for it to sound like I was passing judgement, because as you say, what I say doesn't mean a damned thing, and rightly so. I was simply stating how the statement sounded.

[Mistame]

No, because again, you're missing/ignoring the physical risk component, which is why ghosting is considered significantly worse.

And yet both are a violation of the body of the "victim".