Girl Scouts : Hugging relatives during the holidays violates consent

[Khaza-R]

The Girl Scouts have released an article warning parents from “forcing” their children, daughters specifically, to hug their relatives. The article further elaborates that forcing your children to physically show signs of affection violates the child’s consent.

Holidays and family get-togethers are a time for yummy food, sweet traditions, funny stories, and lots and lots of love. But they could, without you even realizing it, also be a time when your daughter gets the wrong idea about consent and physical affection.

Have you ever insisted, “Uncle just got here—go give him a big hug!” or “Auntie gave you that nice toy, go give her a kiss,” when you were worried your child might not offer affection on her own? If yes, you might want to reconsider the urge to do that in the future.

Think of it this way, telling your child that she owes someone a hug either just because she hasn’t seen this person in a while or because they gave her a gift can set the stage for her questioning whether she “owes” another person any type of physical affection when they’ve bought her dinner or done something else seemingly nice for her later in life.

“The notion of consent may seem very grown-up and like something that doesn’t pertain to children,” says Girl Scouts’ developmental psychologist Dr. Andrea Bastiani Archibald, “but the lessons girls learn when they’re young about setting physical boundaries and expecting them to be respected last a lifetime, and can influence how she feels about herself and her body as she gets older. Plus, sadly, we know that some adults prey on children, and teaching your daughter about consent early on can help her understand her rights, know when lines are being crossed, and when to go to you for help.”

Give your girl the space to decide when and how she wants to show affection. Of course, many children may naturally want to hug and kiss family members, friends, and neighbors, and that’s lovely—but if your daughter is reticent, don’t force her. Of course, this doesn’t give her license to be rude! There are many other ways to show appreciation, thankfulness, and love that don’t require physical contact. Saying how much she’s missed someone or thank you with a smile, a high-five, or even an air kiss are all ways she can express herself, and it’s important that she knows she gets to choose which feels most comfortable to her.

http://www.girlscouts.org/en/raising...s-consent.html

What are your opinions on the statement from the Girl Scouts? Do you agree that being told to hug/kiss family members violates a child’s consent or do you think this is further degradation of family values in the US?

[GreenJesus]

What? wait what? what what what.. What kind of liberal whack job is running the girl scouts? This is way too far. Telling your child to thank a family member is not rape. Most parents need to tell their children to do it since most children don't think about "thanking" in general. It needs to be forced on a child to remember to thank others. (most of the time)

This is just "bullshit feminism". There is real feminism then there is this "bullshit feminism".

[Stardrift]

Yes, I am mentally scarred from being told to hug my relatives when I was younger. I still have flashbacks to this day, and refuse to hug anyone because I physically and mentally can't bring myself to hugging someone.

What a warped, fucking retarded world we live in.

[Daedius]

The horrors of kissing your granny, or hugging your aunt... truly awful stuff!



These people seriously need to reflect on their miserable lives and fuck off projecting their non-issues on others.

[LiiLoSNK]

Kind of a late submission, but it came through just in time to be one of the dumbest things I've read in 2017.

[Total Crica]

What? wait what? what what what.. What kind of liberal whack job is running the girl scouts? This is way too far. Telling your child to thank a family member is not rape. Most parents need to tell their children to do it since most children don't think about "thanking" in general. It needs to be forced on a child to remember to thank others. (most of the time)

This is just "bullshit feminism". There is real feminism then there is this "bullshit feminism".

Thanking someone doesn't mean you have to be touched without your consent or touch them without their consent.

Why are only adults the only ones who have bodily autonomy?

Why are kids not allowed to decide for themselves, once capable, if they wish to be touched? (in benign ways of course)

[Endus]

What are your opinions on the statement from the Girl Scouts? Do you agree that being told to hug/kiss family members violates a child’s consent or do you think this is further degradation of family values in the US?

If you're forcing them to hug someone they don't want to hug? Yeah. Pretty clearly. And that's all the message was regarding.

Also, give up this bullshit "family values" nonsense. That's just a code word for "regressive social values". See also the homophobia behind the opposition to marriage equality, or the misogyny behind anti-abortion stuff. Those kinds of "values" should be degraded, because they're small-minded, petty, hateful bullshit.

[rayden54]

What? wait what? what what what.. What kind of liberal whack job is running the girl scouts? This is way too far. Telling your child to thank a family member is not rape. Most parents need to tell their children to do it since most children don't think about "thanking" in general. It needs to be forced on a child to remember to thank others. (most of the time)

This is just "bullshit feminism". There is real feminism then there is this "bullshit feminism".

Rape isn't the only violation of consent. Consider also that it's not a good idea to teach kids it's not ok for them to object to adults touching them without their consent.

[GreenJesus]

If you're forcing them to hug someone they don't want to hug? Yeah. Pretty clearly. And that's all the message was regarding.

Also, give up this bullshit "family values" nonsense. That's just a code word for "regressive social values". See also the homophobia behind the opposition to marriage equality, or the misogyny behind anti-abortion stuff. Those kinds of "values" should be degraded, because they're small-minded, petty, hateful bullshit.

It isn't a stranger though. They are family members. You should love your family members and be close with them.

[Lazuli]

psychologist

Lol I found the problem. What a fucking joke.

[rayden54]

It isn't a stranger though. They are family members. You should love your family members and be close with them.

Loving someone doesn't mean you want them touching you.

[Total Crica]

It isn't a stranger though. They are family members. You should love your family members and be close with them.

Why do you think that someone, regardless of who they are, that purposely touches your body against your will constitutes love in any way?

[rulk]

Everything is offensive. Everything is wrong. Everything has hidden meaning.

It's out of fucking control.

[GreenJesus]

Loving someone doesn't mean you want them touching you.

Extending the idea of consent from adult sex to children thanking a close relative is absurd. This is just liberals trying to degrade society.

[Endus]

It isn't a stranger though. They are family members. You should love your family members and be close with them.

Literally the kind of stuff that abusers say while perpetuating their abuse. Maybe your kid has good reason for not wanting to hug their uncle. That they don't want to hug their uncle should be a big warning sign. Forcing them to feel like they have to submit "because they're family and you have to love them" just sets them up to be abused, by telling them their consent doesn't matter.

[Total Crica]

Everything is offensive. Everything is wrong. Everything has hidden meaning.

It's out of fucking control.

No, not everything, just you purposely touching people without their consent when you do not have to.

[Aitch]

Yea, can’t see how forcing your kid to hug creepy uncle Ted, that visited for a week last year, but no one ever talks about that, could be damaging.

[rayden54]

Extending the idea of consent from adult sex to children thanking a close relative is absurd. This is just liberals trying to degrade society.

No. Not extending basic rights to children is absurd.

[GreenJesus]

Literally the kind of stuff that abusers say while perpetuating their abuse. Maybe your kid has good reason for not wanting to hug their uncle. That they don't want to hug their uncle should be a big warning sign. Forcing them to feel like they have to submit "because they're family and you have to love them" just sets them up to be abused, by telling them their consent doesn't matter.

The article says even just saying the words "go give em a hug" is wrong.

[ohwell]

If you're forcing them to hug someone they don't want to hug? Yeah. Pretty clearly. And that's all the message was regarding.

Also, give up this bullshit "family values" nonsense. That's just a code word for "regressive social values". See also the homophobia behind the opposition to marriage equality, or the misogyny behind anti-abortion stuff. Those kinds of "values" should be degraded, because they're small-minded, petty, hateful bullshit.

It isn't a sexual gesture and therefore doesn't need consent from your children. It's a sign of love/respect. If you're telling your child to tongue their grandmother, that's a different story. A hug is not sexual in this regard and it is utter bullshit that you'd even defend this nonsense and then attack someone and use your typical buzzwords in there to legitimize your stance.