Girl Scouts : Hugging relatives during the holidays violates consent

[NihilSustinet]

Isn't there a reason we call the 'age of consent' the age of consent?

Didn't we, as a society, decide that children, no matter how mature or well informed, have no capacity to grant consent?

So expecting them to offer consent to a simple family hug is literally antithetical to our nations fundamental beliefs surrounding this particular issue.

that is sexual consent. this isnt a legal discussion, its just not being a dirtbag to your kids.

[Zagden]

Wow, that's some bait in the title.

This message is A) non-binding, it's like an informational flyer with information, and B) is about not coercing girls into hugging or kissing family members. If they want to do that themselves, that's totally fine according to this. That doesn't seem unreasonable and if it does then you don't have to listen to it.

[Deleted]

Oh god, lol.

[Lane]

B) forcing displays of affection diminishes any real meaning.

I've never liked people touching me from as early as I can remember. It took until my mid to late teens before some of my family members got the hint (because they'd feel me tense up) and stopped trying, but it still didn't deter all of them. Unfortunately, not wanting to hug people is considered abnormal so if I'm adamant about not hugging someone they take offense to it, it's a no win situation. I've also noticed the ones who are the most insistent about hugging me are typically the ones who have nothing to do with me any other time, so it feels incredibly insincere.

[Deleted]

that is sexual consent. this isnt a legal discussion, its just not being a dirtbag to your kids.

No its not, it is consent period. A child cant consent to go to a school trip either, they need their parents consent to do anything. If and when the time comes were learning to socialize your kids is deemed being a "dirt bag" then i will gladly be a "dirt bag". Children cant consent for good reasons, just have a look at their track record on making responsible decisions, spoiler, they aren't very good at it. This is why it isn't a very good idea to have children make their own boundaries, they should learn what healthy boundaries are by examples given to them. How do you suppose children can learn something if you do not give them the tools they need to learn it? "Having them set their own boundaries" sounds so wonderful, but it is basically telling them to "figure it out on your own". They will need to figure out allot of things in their life time, and the only way for them to really be successful in this is when you give them the basics in life. These basics include how to interact with your fellow human beings in social settings.

No one is advocating that having your children abused by some weird family member is the way to go. But that doesn't mean that they should be fear full of hugs and intimacy. When children have problems socializing then it is even a good thing to make them give a hug to grandma and grandpa. Just like everything else, social skills are a skill set that you need to learn. Family and friends is were you learn these kind of things.

Shitty parenting is another problem in of its own. Parents that do not pay attention to their children is the problem here, not parents that have their children hug their family.

[NihilSustinet]

No its not, it is consent period. A child cant consent to go to a school trip either, they need their parents consent to do anything. If and when the time comes were learning to socialize your kids is deemed being a "dirt bag" then i will gladly be a "dirt bag". Children cant consent for good reasons, just have a look at their track record on making responsible decisions, spoiler, they aren't very good at it. This is why it isn't a very good idea to have children make their own boundaries, they should learn what healthy boundaries are by examples given to them. How do you suppose children can learn something if you do not give them the tools they need to learn it? "Having them set their own boundaries" sounds so wonderful, but it is basically telling them to "figure it out on your own". They will need to figure out allot of things in their life time, and the only way for them to really be successful in this is when you give them the basics in life. These basics include how to interact with your fellow human beings in social settings.

No one is advocating that having your children abused by some weird family member is the way to go. But that doesn't mean that they should be fear full of hugs and intimacy. When children have problems socializing then it is even a good thing to make them give a hug to grandma and grandpa. Just like everything else, social skills are a skill set that you need to learn. Family and friends is were you learn these kind of things.

Shitty parenting is another problem in of its own. Parents that do not pay attention to their children is the problem here, not parents that have their children hug their family.

you are completely and totally missing the point.

[Tyresias]

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAAHAHAHAH. I swear it's fkin hilarious seeing people get soft in the brain like this. Feel bad for those kids that are gonna be subjected to this kind of dumb shit.

[Deleted]

Luckily only I decide how to raise my children. I will damn well teach them that hugging / kissing family members is part of a normal social interaction. Nothing wrong with that in a good family. To each their own, I guess. Peace!

[Deleted]

Uhh minors do you have rights. You're just wrong.

Yes minors have rights, but they can not consent, and that was what they were on about.

Also this, but either way he's still wrong. Of course minors still have legal rights.

Them not being able to consent is about law.

You're so determined yet so fucking wrong. It's hilarious.

And yet he isn't wrong, if you need to consent to something that means that you are bound by rules. If there aren't any rules then there simply is nothing to consent to. And these rules we have are called laws, so yea, we are talking about law when consent is used.

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you are completely and totally missing the point.

Right

[Dejiko]

There is some merit to adopting a more thoughtful approach to the physical exchange of gratitude or joy in the form of hugs or similar gestures.
Ultimately it might be benefitial to engage in conversation and try to have the child elaborate upon why they hesitate or outright refuse to hug someone,
though it probably doesn`t inspire anyone to have such talks with their children if they are labelled abusers or the claim that these
people are akin to rapists in some fashion.

There`s alot to consider, from the benefits of physical intimacy, creating safe boundries of behaviour, reckognising peculiar behaviour,
instilling in your child security and safety through dialogue.
These articles and many like them do little to foster conversation about child rearing and the development of a healthy mind.

[Deleted]

We're not talking about legal consent. I'm not sure why that's hard to understand. Consent doesn't only apply in legal terms.

Either way, he didn't say consent specifically. He said rights in general. So, that was a pretty silly thing to say.

When consent doesn't apply to legal consent then it is absolutely meaningless and has no real place in any discussion. Consent can only have meaning when consent is needed in order to proceed, and when consent is needed is described by the law. When consent is not explicitly needed for something to be done then it really doesn't matter if you or me consent to it being done or not. It will/won't happen regardless of our consent.

And you are right, it was silly of him to confuse those words, but they where clearly on about consent and he just misspoke.

[Guyv3r]

Oh Natural Selection, where art thou...

[Kalis]

Have you ever insisted, “Uncle just got here—go give him a big hug!” or “Auntie gave you that nice toy, go give her a kiss,” when you were worried your child might not offer affection on her own? If yes, you might want to reconsider the urge to do that in the future.

“I refuse to kiss auntie!”

And you’re not getting any more toys, you obnoxious little brat.

[Blamblam41]

Yes, I am mentally scarred from being told to hug my relatives when I was younger. I still have flashbacks to this day, and refuse to hug anyone because I physically and mentally can't bring myself to hugging someone.

What a warped, fucking retarded world we live in.

The same world where literally every environmental factor matters.

The same world where, despite incentives not to abuse power, you still have people abusing their power.

The same word where thoughts and prayers are more acceptable than education and knowledge.

[Deleted]

Something a social norm in a certain culture doesn't make it okay.

If nobody is hurt by it...hell in this case I think it's even a good value for people to learn how to be social even if physical by touch in a positive manner.

If we don't teach children than contact isn't always bad how the fuck will they ever learn it? It's retarded to teach children that every touch is bad.

[Deleted]

Hmm, doesn't sound entirely off to me.

I remember the whole "christmas-hug-chain-gang" deal souring christmas for me for quite a while.

[Deleted]

It isn't a stranger though. They are family members. You should love your family members and be close with them.

Are you aware that the vast, vast majority of rape and sexual abuse happens between relatives and close friends?

This part right here "Think of it this way, telling your child that she owes someone a hug either just because she hasn’t seen this person in a while or because they gave her a gift can set the stage for her questioning whether she “owes” another person any type of physical affection when they’ve bought her dinner or done something else seemingly nice for her later in life."

Is actually interesting. Most children who are abused by say an uncle or grandparent aren't physically forced to perform sexual acts, they're convinced that they should. Many sexual predators use gifts and likewise to urge children to pay back by "now you can do something for me". And possibly, and I say possibly here, teacing your kids to show physical affection as a reply to being given gifts might make children less aware of that something wrong happens when it does, thus making them less likely to tell a parent or similar.

So let's not jump the bandwagon instantly, there might be something there.

[Deleted]

Bahaha, I see all the typical crazy SJWs are in force defending this shit. You people should not breed.

But people with not a single ounce of critical and nuanced thinking like yourself should?

[Chinese Bootlickers]

See, someone told me I was exaggerating saying I thought some things in this article were wrong with how my perception family works.

But my dude you jumped to Pedophilia. Like, you went from hugs to molestation.

Hoo boy.

It's piece of shit cubed, it's in his nature.

[LordSothe]

Now that they're letting girls join the Boy Scouts, why are Girl Scouts still a thing?