'Parasitic singles' and Japan's demographic problem

[Tennis]

http://www.businessinsider.com/japan...-signs-2017-12

"Kabukicho," he said. "The hotel my company booked is in Kabukicho."

That seemed a little strange to me. You might call Kabukicho the red-light district in Tokyo. Hostess bars, nightclubs, street prostitutes — not an environment where I would have expected a classic hotel chain.

When we turned the corner and I saw our hotel, it was clear to me. It had no windows, and the prices were calculated in hours. My friend's company had accidentally booked a Love Hotel for us. Now, a Love Hotel isn't as disreputable as you might think it is — okay, except for the whirlpool with pink lighting and the plush slippers. It is an important part of everyday Japanese culture. Young lovers who still live with their parents, married couples whose homes lack privacy, or even people having affairs meet in these hourly hotels to let go of their inhibitions.

From 2010 to 2011 I studied at a university in Japan and got to know the strange relationship Japanese culture has to love and sexuality. I'd almost call it schizophrenic. On the one hand, Japanese people would never, not even among friends, use words like "penis" or "vagina" (when an exchange student once did it, the Japanese were embarrassed). On the other hand, more than once I found myself sitting on the subway next to a businessman who, quite unashamedly, leafed through hard-core manga porn.

Japan's sex problem

But what frightens me the most is that many of the things I found strange back then, seven years ago, I see today in Europe.

Japan has a sex problem. Economists speak of a "demographic time bomb." The population is getting older and older, but fewer and fewer children are being born.

This is also a problem in other industrialized countries, but nowhere more devastating than in Japan. The nation suffers from the fact that declining consumption weakens the economy. This causes families to have fewer children, which in turn weakens the economy even further. On average, women in Japan have 1.41 children.

Japan has become a sexless and celibate society. In a survey conducted by the Meiji Yasuda Institute of Life and Wellness, 39% of Japanese women and 62% of Japanese between 25 and 35 years of age stated that they have never had a really serious relationship.

Lots of work, little pleasure


Why do so many young people remain alone? Two worlds are currently colliding in Japan: those of the time of the economic miracle and those of modern culture.

During the early 1950s, Japan prioritized economic growth. The government required large companies to offer open-ended jobs and, in return, those companies demanded lifelong loyalty from employees. The model emerged at that time and led to the economic miracle in the 1960s.

At the same time, however, this had the unpleasant side effect that people were working more and more. It is not for nothing that a special word has been created in Japan for those who die as a result of revision: karoshi. I remember the rush hour I had to go through seven years ago, where employees stood in their white shirts and black suit pants and skirts with their iPhones, or these white folding white phones, squeezed in the subway.

As a student, I walked past office complexes where all the lights were on at 9 p. m., people sitting in these countless rows of tables staring at their screens. At that time I was already wondering what kind of life it must be that consists only of getting up, working, and sleeping. I'm not surprised these people have no strength for dates.


Women choose career instead of marriage

But there is another problem: For a long time, it was customary for women to marry quickly after university, and take care of the household and children while their husbands earned money. This unspoken rule is still cemented in the minds of many people. A good friend of mine was asked several times in a derogatory way if she was a lesbian because she is not yet engaged or married at the age of 24. You would think that such a technically advanced country is also socially progressive, but it is not.

However, young people have nevertheless changed. Women feel pressured to give up their careers as soon as they are married, but they don’t want to. The logical consequence? You just stay single.

This development leads to strange trends such as weddings where there is only one bride and no groom — because women marry themselves. They don't want to miss the big day with wedding dress and cake, but don't want to tie themselves to a man.

About a year ago, a headline made the round, saying more and more Japanese people marry their good friends and acquaintances. To be honest: I also have some Japanese girlfriends who simply married their buddies, college mates, and acquaintances. "It's not passionate love, but there is security," said one of them. They live together in an apartment and each of them pursues their own work. Social pressure has lessened.

A strange relationship with sexuality
In addition, there is the strange Japanese relationship to sexuality. You would think that people are looking for one-night stands if they don't want to have a relationship, but many people are too uptight for that. When in doubt, they prefer to concentrate on fictional sex objects in manga porn or video games instead of chatting at a bar.

The Love Hotel is not the result of a sexual revolution — it's the symptom of a major social problem. Those who don't even want to be heard peeing in the toilet (yes, that's why there are automatic rinsing noises at the push of a button) certainly don't want the others to know that they have a sex life.

Since rent prices in Tokyo are among the highest in the world and even four-person families often only live in a 50-square-meter apartment, you have to make a financial and logistical effort to go to a Love Hotel and have sex. According to a survey conducted in 2016, about 4.5 million people aged between 35 and 54 still live with their parents. So the question is obvious: Where should people come together except in hourly hotels?

These people, who are still unmarried at the age of 30 and live with their parents, are called "parasitic singles," so you can imagine how much these people are worth in Japanese society.

http://www.businessinsider.com/japan...-signs-2017-12

Wow! What a great read this was. It really provides good insight on the situation in Japan. It's clear sooner or later the situation will need to be addressed with serious action. The government needs a tax base to provide for the tens of millions of elderly.

I wonder what it's like for those who married their "buddies" as stated in the article. Anyone have any more info on this phenomenon?

[Independent voter]

Do what we do, problem solved. We should swap about 8 million Mexicans for some more Chinese though. The US won't have a demographic problem for the next 50 years at least that means someone is going to pay for my old age pension.

[Deleted]

Importing people and putting them on welfare wont solve the problem. Just look at Denmark.

[Tennis]

Importing people and putting them on welfare wont solve the problem. Just look at Denmark.

Funny how you assume that anyone who comes to Japan goes on welfare. That's really racist. In Canada and the U.S. some of the best and brightest are immigrants.

[Deleted]

Funny how you assume that anyone who comes to Japan goes on welfare. That's really racist. In Canada and the U.S. some of the best and brightest are immigrants.

Cherry picking

Wanna have some from europe you fake canadians

[dr2022]

I guess having a society of strict social decorum and a rejection of foreigners back fired.

Japan should be a case study

[Mistame]

Cherry-picked story for another garbage thread. Note the bias of the title, "Parasitic Singles". You know what's more "parasitic"? Having a bunch of kids and expecting single people to pay for them.

That's really racist.

Again, that's not how that word works.

[I Push Buttons]

This is a function of how a capitalist/materialistic worldview changes the benefit of having children.

Children are expensive, and time consuming. In a society that values efficiency and cutting costs, kids seem to be the easy aspect to cut.

Unless you give people an (monetary) incentive to have kids, I see this trend continuing.

That isn't what changed though. What changed was women's function in their society and their culture didn't catch up to that change.

Women entering the work force en masse didn't create a plethora of jobs out of thin air, thus the job market became more competitive; the same as everywhere else in the world the last century. Lots of men who fifty years ago could have easily gotten a steady long term job now can't get those kinds of jobs. And their culture emphasizes men being the breadwinner and having that kind of stability... Without it they both don't attract partners and when they do have a partner, don't want to have kids because without the long term stability of regular employment, decide they can't risk having kids.

Then there are the millions of people who withdraw from society all together... Their culture is all about shame... Not being able to compete, not being employable, etc., is something that is pretty shameful there... A lot of people can't handle it and recede from society to avoid the shame.

[Deleted]

Funny how you assume that anyone who comes to Japan goes on welfare. That's really racist. In Canada and the U.S. some of the best and brightest are immigrants.

Im talking about Denmark. . Non-western immigration is a NET negative 32billion DKK(~$5bil). Western immigration gives us a net positive 5billion(~$800mil).

These numbers might seem small, but we are a country of 5.5million people, so its a lot per person.

And no, facts arent racist.

[Khallid]

I wonder what it's like for those who married their "buddies" as stated in the article. Anyone have any more info on this phenomenon?

Probably very similar to arranged marriages, maybe better if you actually are good friends to begin with. You marry for the clear economic and social advantages of marriage, not the subjective love aspect. It makes a lot of sense from an utilitarian point of view.

[Deleted]

Think they got messed up because of those atomic bombs? Or did the defeat in WW2 end their masculinity completely?

[Elba]

Get some Muslims. I heard they have high birth rates.

[TwistedSkull]

How about raising pay and make them work less hours and don't get married?

[Ethris]

Funny how you assume that anyone who comes to Japan goes on welfare. That's really racist.

I see that nobody knows what racism means anymore.

[Deleted]

Then there are the millions of people who withdraw from society all together... Their culture is all about shame... Not being able to compete, not being employable, etc., is something that is pretty shameful there... A lot of people can't handle it and recede from society to avoid the shame.

I remember watching a documentary about this (Japan specifically), and they have somewhere around one million (two million at the high estimate) young people (majority male) that simply have completely given up, and essentially refuse to get a job and spend time outside their parents house. It is quite scary stuff when you think about.

[Deleted]

Ok, a serious question about this trend that seems to slowly grow in the West as well:

Why does the gap between men and women seem bigger than ever today? It seems like men and women are growing so far apart that soon they won't even feel any need to build a life together.

What I personally see is that women are actively building their life starting in their late teens/early twenties. They get degrees, focus on a career and know what they want.
At the same time "men" act like children all the way up to 30 and beyond, not really developing into manhood like previous generations.
Why are men almost devolving while women are becoming the men of the future?

[unbound]

http://www.businessinsider.com/japan...-signs-2017-12



http://www.businessinsider.com/japan...-signs-2017-12

Wow! What a great read this was. It really provides good insight on the situation in Japan. It's clear sooner or later the situation will need to be addressed with serious action. The government needs a tax base to provide for the tens of millions of elderly.

I wonder what it's like for those who married their "buddies" as stated in the article. Anyone have any more info on this phenomenon?

Basically, the government needs to change to reflect their population. The problem with articles like this is the assumption that what is done today must be done tomorrow.

[Deleted]

Ok, a serious question about this trend that seems to slowly grow in the West as well:

Why does the gap between men and women seem bigger than ever today? It seems like men and women are growing so far apart that soon they won't even feel any need to build a life together.

What I personally see is that women are actively building their life starting in their late teens/early twenties. They get degrees, focus on a career and know what they want.
At the same time "men" act like children all the way up to 30 and beyond, not really developing into manhood like previous generations.
Why are men almost devolving while women are becoming the men of the future?

We have created the perfect mediocrity!

On a more serious note, it isn't that bad, there are still more women that partake in unskilled labour than there are men. And something that unfortunately often gets misconstrued, is that more women go to college (that part is true), but men are still majorly represented in trade skill education and skilled labour, educations that still compete with several college degrees salary-wise.

That and as Connal states above, in just 20 years we have created two of some of the most addictive and attention requiring media (video games and pornography), and it is unfortunately mainly consumed by men and it is something that is really having an impact on young males willingness to prospect.

[Mistame]

That and as Connal states above, in just 20 years we have created two of some of the most addictive and attention requiring media (video games and pornography), and it is unfortunately mainly consumed by men and it is something that is really having an impact on young males willingness to prospect.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing. In the current state of things, the risk really isn't worth the reward. /shrug

[Khaza-R]

Get some Muslims. I heard they have high birth rates.

Not anymore. They are expected to fall to western level fertility rates within a decade