Wow, what a powerful message... Bullying is bad... who knew????
Wow, what a powerful message... Bullying is bad... who knew????
Honestly I blame most of bullying on kids having shit parents. I used to volunteer for boys groups, and my son's own issues with bullies at school, and I've yet to meet one who had good parents. Whether they are emotionally unstable shit heads, entirely disinterested in their kid or violence at home... I've yet to meet a kid who just was an asshole for no good reason.
With that said, I think if the schools actually cracked down on the bullies rather then punishing all parties, it might help. My son has done Jiu-Jistu over a year now, their class focuses on take downs, gap closing, grip fighting, restraining, and getting off their backs. Yeah they learn fun stuff also, but most of the class is simply based on not getting hurt, and restraining until a teacher gets there. Last year he had a bully who just kept coming back because my son embarrassed him a couple of times. The school's stance was nobody got hurt, so it wasn't a big deal even though the entire class and teacher would say this other kid was the problem (my son wasn't the only kid he messed with.)
Well finally, my son hurt his wrist while grip fighting, and they both got in trouble. Never mind this kid swung and headbutted my son, my son got in trouble for simply restraining his wrists and elbows.
Like... that seemed to embolden this kid, it made him a victim to himself and family and when they got back to school it was worse. As bad as I thought it was, my son ended the situation by kneeing the shit in the face, and the kid left him alone minus making dumb ass comments, trying to provoke him.
But if the school had maybe punished the kid who was harassing multiple kids, rather then everyone being afraid of getting in trouble if they did anything besides take the bullying, I think it would've been a much different situation.
This is the thing it isn't raging hormones that does this, that is a lot of bunk, adults act very much the way most kids do in Middle and High School especially now, kids however have the luxury of not possibly knowing better which often times guess what they do.
Sometimes just as adults it's a choice to pick someone out for ridicule or bullying.
But people make mistakes, they go down paths without thinking this is why kids have to be afforded a chance to make mistakes learn and even come back from them. Being labeled a bully and having the wheels turned won't be a picnic either.
And eventually they do because no matter what bullies don't last for long they run into bigger bullies, bullies in ways they can't manipulate or control. As I said you get labeled a problem kid, and your problems just begun once that starts.
Ask anybody who has been a bully or had that label and found the wheels turned, detention, punishment, denial, shunned, shut out. If you really want to be a rebel you can get your ass expelled, fired, or even put in jail or prison. Bullies always get dealt with in the end, but for a kid, I would hope we could keep people from being bullies and being bullied.
Milli Vanilli, Bigger than Elvis
Sad fact of life is that we are still no better than the monkeys we came from
Children still have that instinct of trying to be the Alpha in the group and they do that by bullying and belittling weaker ones in the group to increase there standing in the group.
I too used to get bullied at school until i realised i wasnt gonna take it anymore and i snapped this kids arm on a school peg after years of torment and i can tell you now he never bullied me again. I showed him he wasnt the alpha he thought he was and i showed myself that i wasnt the coward i thought i was. Ive learnt in this life you have to fight back or you will get rolled over and thats the sad fact of life.
I never got kicked out of school for protecting myself. The key is never to start a fight and having witnesses helps. No guarantee of course, but most bullies learn to leave you alone, as they prefer weak targets to feed their inflated ego. Oh they may make threats and such, but I would give them that look of...." bring it".
Yeah, for example, in my school the bullying was bad, making news quite often with violent scandals and whatnot. Then the headmaster changed and new one was a pseudo-nazi with everything, yet she tried to push for some anti-bullying programmes. Surprisingly, they seem to work? The younger kids didn't seem to be as mean, clique-y as my years were, being friendly to eachother and all.
Then again, in my final year(s), the class also matured and stopped the bullying, so ppl got more or less along with everyone there. Sure there's teasing, but that's fine. I wouldn't know how bullying was in other schools in Estonia, but I heard from some people of bullies OR the victims getting fed up and going for drastic measures. One went to kill another child with an axe to the head in some shed off the school grounds. But that was in a Russian school, so stuff like that is expected, tbh.
Man poor guy i hope he pulls through he seems like a good guy. Its sad to think of all the kids that fall through the cracks and get bullied like him and dont get any of the spot light. Awful all around.
I actually empathize with @Skyhigh, I get it, I really do get it, someone who had gone through a life time of bullying and everybody not giving a fuck who already feels up against the wall all they eventually think they want is to be left alone.
Not SkyHigh per say but someone finally get sick and tired of being bullied people snickering turning a blind eye, nobody gives a fuck anyways, so why not do what some of these school shooters did.
They are in pain and nobody gives a fuck what do they have to lose.
I am saying what needs to happen is people need to think about the totality of bullying not just a symptom that is human nature for better or worse, this being the worst
Milli Vanilli, Bigger than Elvis
Yeah GhostPanther but I'm taking a gamble on this, you learned that a good 1, 2 on the chin of a bully and even if you got your ass kicked, you could walk away and stay away from one another and be friends.
Unfortunately these kids don't live in that world anymore, not for better or worse but I can't imagine the strength it takes to get through that shit now days with the amount of access people have to literally rip other people's lives the fuck apart even before they know what they have done.
I am not talking about someone awkward or some square peg, look at what this shit does to adults, workplace shootings, malls, people say one fucking stupid thing online or make a mistake as an adult, an adult and people want fucking blood
Now imagine being a kid and having even less power than that, and older folks who have no fucking real idea, who may understand, but never known exactly what their lives are like.
I mean I agree with you, I took a beating before I ever learned to give one also, but GP some of these kids are at fucking 11, 12, and 13 who want to play for keeps.
Milli Vanilli, Bigger than Elvis
You aren't far off the mark you are right some people are just a bad fucking seed like me There was no saving me MUAHAHAHA!
But most don't start off that bad and yes some have a head full of bad fucking wiring GP we both know that, there are some people despite themselves probably need to be looked after for the rest of their lives in some capacity, JUUUST to be sure.
Shit we might even have that one cousin and what not, nobody allows near sharp objects.
But KIDS, KIDS are different they are tooo young too fucking stupid and completely for the most part unaware, or at least one hopes. There should be nothing so serious in a KIDS fucking life that it ever has to lead to what this kid is going through. As for the bullies lets face it, let's stop with the KIDS are cute sweet and lovable.
Most kids are assholes, and vicious, not all but they really mostly lack the capacity to know better, adults who should act like adults should be helping them
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I said NOT YOU, and we are speaking in GENERAL not about you, I was simply saying I understand the perspective you have based one ONE kind of experience. I don't know you so I don't KNOW why YOU exactly feel the way you do and I am not pretending to.
Milli Vanilli, Bigger than Elvis
Maybe I went to a rough school, but where I was bullies wouldn't accept defeat nobly and you earn their respect. First of all they'd never attack someone who had a chance of fighting back - aside from picking on the weakest kids they'd also make sure they were hopelessly outnumbered.
They're cowards and they're looking to hurt people, not a fair fight.
When were you last in school?
I still think in this time and age, ( as in any age ) standing up to bullying is something we need to do. Of course the parents need to be involved and contact the school. I am not saying just standing up to bullies is the end result , case closed. Bullying can also involve things besides physical attacks. Learn to stand up for what you think is right. Let people know you are not just going to stand there and take it. This will carry over into adult age.
I got into a fight once because this guy was jealous his GF was making hits on me. He told me to stop encouraging it. I told him I thought it was up to her to decide. He did not like that and attacked me. To make the story short, the fight ended with us both bloodied and bruised. Him worse. People came and broke up the fight. He was much bigger than I was. But I fight dirty. In the end. He would make threats when he saw me at school and I would just stare back at him. He never bothered me again. Not my fault he was ugly. :P
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A long time ago. But bullying is not nothing new.
I joined the US Army when I was 17 and finished HS while in the Army. Long story kept short. Had nothing to do with fighting back in school, but being poor and traveling a lot as migrant farm workers.
Last edited by Ghostpanther; 2017-12-11 at 02:46 AM.
O Flora, of the moon, of the dream. O Little ones, O fleeting will of the ancients. Let the hunter be safe. Let them find comfort. And let this dream, their captor, Foretell a pleasant awakening
False. Absolutely false. I was bullied relentlessly and I did fight back.
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Is there a reason why you are condoning assault, harassment, stalking, and so on? All things which are illegal by saying "grow a pair".
You know what happens when the bullied person grows a pair? They try to kill their bullies in extreme cases. Now I have no sympathy for a dead bully I really don't; however, I don't think that they should be killed.
Last edited by Themius; 2017-12-11 at 02:51 AM.