When friends make terrible decisions.

[Deleted]

I don't initiate giving advice. There was a time when I did but I realized it's never on an equal base in terms of knowledge and wisdom which just confused or frustrated my friends/family. At one point I told them "you know what I might know and if you are in need of my opinion ask me". It happened only a couple of times but I feel like this approach is far healthier for both parties.

[Piglord]

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink.

[Video Games]

I look forward to seeing them when I take the train at skidmore ;3

[Sliske]

Their plan is to live out of an RV for a couple of years while they get this venture going. They're not interested in going the nonprofit route for grant funding/tax purposes because they think they will be making $$$ that will keep them afloat.

Right now I'm just taking a step back after very nicely telling them what I think because I don't really think they care what I have to say. Would you do something different?

Honestly it seems like they've got their life planned out, even if those plans are paper thin. They both seem happy with the idea so just let them do it. It will be a failure no doubt, but it will also be a learning experience. You can't really head this shit off at the pass. Some people have kind of silly ideas, like "lets get a tattoo of "YOLO" on my arm" and you can quickly talk them out of it, but some ideas, (like selling your 900k home to open a shitty arts center, when art is probably one of the most uncontrollable markets there is) are so stupid that in order to think of them, you have to inherently be ignorant to reality. You will not reach this person via logic.

So yeah, sit back and watch it unfold.

[Celista]

Honestly it seems like they've got their life planned out, even if those plans are paper thin. They both seem happy with the idea so just let them do it. It will be a failure no doubt, but it will also be a learning experience. You can't really head this shit off at the pass. Some people have kind of silly ideas, like "lets get a tattoo of "YOLO" on my arm" and you can quickly talk them out of it, but some ideas, (like selling your 900k home to open a shitty arts center, when art is probably one of the most uncontrollable markets there is) are so stupid that in order to think of them, you have to inherently be ignorant to reality. You will not reach this person via logic.

So yeah, sit back and watch it unfold.

Yeah, I 100% agree and I've basically come to terms with it. I have the popcorn ready.

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Generally speaking, MMO-Champion Off Topic Community are good at giving advices, tell them to come here sometime

Honestly most of the advice on here is fine. There are better places on the internet but you get a wide range of opinion here, most of the regular posters are pretty mature and other perspectives are always good, even if you don't agree with them in the end.

[CostinR]

@Celista

I'd say in general if you have a friend and you're seeing them about to self-destruct you should step and put your foot down and force them to listen as to why it's a bad idea with regards to what they are doing. Sometimes people get in their heads to make really bad decisions and you must push them not to.

At the end of the day it's their decision but as their friend you should make it clear: They are going full retard and you should never go full retard.

[belfpala]

Also the thread was supposed to be an "in general" thread but I guess the convo ended up being focused on my original post.

Here's my "in general:"

Does it affect me?
Did I say enough that I can say "told you," later?
Did I say little enough that it didn't end the friendship?

[Celista]

Here's my "in general:"

Does it affect me?
Did I say enough that I can say "told you," later?
Did I say little enough that it didn't end the friendship?

I feel like it can be a balancing act between saying too much and prematurely ending the friendship and saying too little.

I think knowing how much to say depends on the individual and how determined they are to fuck up their lives. Some people are really determined and won't see reason.

I look forward to seeing them when I take the train at skidmore ;3

Lol.

I honestly feel like I need to move away from Portland and/or get a new circle of friends, because I feel like far too many people out here make decisions like the one I described in the OP...

[belfpala]

I feel like it can be a balancing act between saying too much and prematurely ending the friendship and saying too little.

I think knowing how much to say depends on the individual and how determined they are to fuck up their lives. Some people are really determined and won't see reason.
.

And sometimes a person just needs to say it all and let a friend loose.

[Celista]

And sometimes a person just needs to say it all and let a friend loose.

I don't normally cut friends loose unless they're really toxic. If the incident I talked about in the OP blows up in their face and I'm blamed for it somehow, I will probably do exactly that.

I don't think they will, though. I hope. Idk.

[Video Games]

I feel like it can be a balancing act between saying too much and prematurely ending the friendship and saying too little.

I think knowing how much to say depends on the individual and how determined they are to fuck up their lives. Some people are really determined and won't see reason.


Lol.

I honestly feel like I need to move away from Portland and/or get a new circle of friends, because I feel like far too many people out here make decisions like the one I described in the OP...

Everybody is really weird and has tattoos and is obsessed with drinking. My new boss chocked a girl in Floridian and moved here. This whole city is crazier than la.

[Gref]

If there is anything you can do, do it to prevent this from happening. I had a classmate kinda on the same situation. She used her boyfriends money for a stupid cafe idea of hers. They failed miserably and boy ended up in terrible debt while she simply dumped him. Although it was the girl who insisted on the idea and convinced him.

Selling your own house, especially the one you inherited, is ridiculous. She thinks it is easy to buy a new house I think. Ask the man if he can buy a house of his own ever again in his life time.

Impossible. They sound like a hippie couple. All ideas and ideals but no reality. Do everything to prevent that man failing his life as I bet my own fucking balls that when (not if) they fail, it will be he failing and she will just move onto a new man.

[Radaney]

People are ultimately responsible for their own livelihood and well being. All you can do is offer advice and support, it is up to them to follow it.

[Celista]

If there is anything you can do, do it to prevent this from happening. I had a classmate kinda on the same situation. She used her boyfriends money for a stupid cafe idea of hers. They failed miserably and boy ended up in terrible debt while she simply dumped him. Although it was the girl who insisted on the idea and convinced him.

Selling your own house, especially the one you inherited, is ridiculous. She thinks it is easy to buy a new house I think. Ask the man if he can buy a house of his own ever again in his life time.

Impossible. They sound like a hippie couple. All ideas and ideals but no reality. Do everything to prevent that man failing his life as I bet my own fucking balls that when (not if) they fail, it will be he failing and she will just move onto a new man.

I probably didn't explain the house situation correctly in the OP. He inherited his mother's house in San Francisco, sold it and bought his current house in Portland right after she passed away, for a little bit less than what the house sold in SF. So it is his mother's inheritance to him, but not the exact house per se.

I honestly hope that if it doesn't work out, he will be the one to dump her. It's possible that if they're buying new real estate, that they'll realize that they're losing money and sell the commercial property and buy a modest residential property and go back to work. But now that they're talking about a mortgage for a commercial property, which means the threat of foreclosure if/when the business fails is very real.

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Oh I forgot the part where they took out a home equity loan and are making loan payments via credit cards.

[TheDestinatus]

Honest question, why even bother caring? Its largely irrelevant that you want to help friends because its not your life to live. They need to be accountable for their own decisions. Its really an intrinsic part of the human experience because for all our evolution/adaptations humans have developed, genetic memory wasn't one of them and every generation thinks they know it all and they are going to do what they ultimately decide to do regardless of what you think is in their best interests.

No risk, no reward. You just do your thing, sit back and watch what others do and hope you're intelligent enough to learn from their mistakes.